#gavinxreader

“I will call you once i finish with the mission, okay?” was what Gavin told you 4 days ago.

You stop working on your laptop, trying to reach your phone. Aside from chats from your colleagues about the project you’ve been working on, you don’t see the name you’ve always hope to pop on your screen. Gavin’s name. You threw your phone across the room and it landed on your bed, so you won’t get distracted and wanting to grab the phone for who knows how much since Gavin went for his mission. 

Surely you realize his working can be demanding. Being a captain for Special Task Force who work in the shadow to make sure all people of Loveland can sleep the night and live with peace from EVOL’s terrorists, also a police officer, a captain of SWAT team at that, it surely took most of his time to work. You understand that. Besides, you’re also busy with working projects that seemed like...endless from your superior, Victor. So also being busy keeps your mind off from being lonely. But alas, even if you’re so proud of Gavin, you can’t help but worrying about his safety. But Gavin always come back alive, even if with more wounds and scars, he’s alive.

You yawned, closing the laptop’s screen decide to call it a day and go to sleep. It’s almost 1AM in the morning and you have a board meeting tomorrow with Victor. You can’t be late, of course. Switching the light off, you placed your phone beside you on bed after setting the several alarms to wake you up tomorrow. You got comfortable in bed, covering your whole body with the blanket, inhaling Gavin’s smell from the blanket. Ever since the two of you decided to live together and purchasing a bigger bed, the bed feels so much bigger without Gavin on your side. You frown but quickly shove the thoughts of being lonely away from your mind. You need to sleep.

As I sleep, some time

I feel your voice putting me to sleep

And your hair tickling me

You open your eyes slowly as you can feel someone’s hand on your waist. You see Gavin’s face right across from yours. You blinked several times, not believing that it really is Gavin who is laying beside you right now, still awake. He’s surprised to see you wake up but then smile, caressing your head.

“Did i wake you up? I’m sorry.” Gavin murmurs.

You shake your head. “When did you come home?” you ask, with a hoarse voice from sleep.

It’s 3:45AM.

“Not too long ago. I was about to call you but you must be sleeping and i don’t wanna wake you up.” Gavin says, apologetically.

You smile, snuggling to him burying your head to his chest. “Welcome home.” You practically hugging him by putting your hand on his back. “Did you get hurt?” you ask again.

“I’m home. And no, i’m okay.” Gavin replies, kissing the crown of your head.

Your heart swells with happiness as you inhale Gavin’s scent. You can smell his soap, signing that he took a shower before joining you in bed. Gavin smells like home to you. Refreshing with a light musk, reminding you of summer.

“You should go back to sleep. Don’t you have work later?” Gavin reminds you.

“I do have a meeting this morning.” you groan.

“You’ll do fine. Victor has no way to refuse the project you’ve been working on for weeks.” Gavin rests his palm on the back of your head, rubbing it slowly. Just the right amount to make you yawn again. You nod in his arm, trying to make yourself comfortable as you close your eyes.

“Now go back to sleep, there’s still time until 7AM. I’ll take you to work later.” Gavin says.

How could I be asleep

How could I be asleep

In your embrace, inside it, snugly

I put my hands together and rest

You are the largest star I have

So good night,  A bright light and I

If the daybreak finds me

I’ll be submerged in countless thoughts

You feel Gavin’s even steady breathing as he’s sleeping. You raised your head to see his peaceful face, almost like a child even. His soft vulnerable expression makes your heart swell again, adoring your boyfriend’s sleeping face. He has dark circle on his eyes, he must be tired and haven’t had any sleep while he’s away on his mission. Despite that he has long eyelashes, making you jealous by how long and thick it is. You raise your hand to touch his cheek, afraid that you might wake him up, but Gavin is still sleeping, he must be exhausted from the mission and you take the opportunity to traced your index finger on his smooth skin, along his jaw. Gavin is known as the handsome and a bit lonewolf officer, who is always serious in his work. But this side of Gavin, is only for you to see.

You snuggled closer to him and hold his hand. 

And in the sleepless night

I’ll be in your embrace endlessly

To you at daybreak

More passionately than during the day

You wonder how many nights you spend sleeping next to Gavin like this. If he’s not out on his missions you would lay next to him like this, listening to his heartbeat and his even breathing--sometimes he’d snore but you don’t mind. Gavin’s usually a light sleeper due to him being an officer--being alert at all times and there are times where he would be called for mission right when both of you were sleeping. For him being in a deep sleep like this, it’s kind of rare. But you appreciate all of it. Sleeping in Gavin’s embrace always feel safe and you grow addicted of having arms around your waist, as if keeping you safe, even in sleep.

Between curtains, faintly illuminating me

A white moonlight and yeah

Filling the room, even the cold air

Feels beautiful because of the light that is you

Full moon’s light up the room slightly, it shines right through Gavin’s face. Gavin always tell you that you’re beautiful, even if your mouth was full of chocolate cakes he bought for you, even if you just woke up from your sleep with a trace of drool on your chin, even if you’re crying because of the drama you watched.

“Don’t you know that you’re also beautiful?” you murmur softly, feeling Gavin’s chest rise and fall in sync with you.

You were scared of him back in high school, despite that he was always look out for you from a far. Even if Gavin was really scary at that time, him back then still had the same kindness he had today. The way he carried you when you were passed out in PE class, the way his eyes met yours when you were in library, or the times you found him climbing the old ginkgo tree outside of practice room.

The rough senior has grown into a sweet man he is today. Or maybe, he’s always this handsome from your high school years, if he’s not always covered in bandages and bruises.

I see a shifting image

We have a common dream

Even if it’s imaginary

I pretend to be okay

You probably are the same

But at the end of the day

We are together

Gavin’s line of work always makes you worry. He rarely has days off, even if he does he almost never spend it on rest, he will always spend it with you. There was time when you asked Gavin to go the shooting location at the nearby lake, knowing he was just came back from mission you told him to not come but he did come anyway.

He was visibly tired. But he came anyway.

You remembered your heart swelled when you found Gavin sleeping under the tree after the shooting’s over, waiting for you to finish. You remember you were crying when you saw a bandage peeking through his shirt. He was hurt. But still he came. You remember he woke up, panic was evident in his face as he cupped your face, apologized if he make you angry. And he was confused as you told him “Gavin, you dummy.”

The Gavin said “I come here because i miss you so much. I wanna meet you as soon as possible. Is that...is that wrong?” made you moved in to his apartment.

It’s fine if the same day repeats

Even the reversed day and night

My mind was filled waiting for you

And I’m happier for it now

Like a habit

Hug me tight

And don’t let me go, more

Take me to the dream

“...why don’t you sleep?” Gavin’s sudden question made you flinched. But Gavin held your hand in his tightly. His eyes fluttered open.

You can’t help but peck his lips.

“I don’t know, you’re too handsome when you’re sleeping..maybe?” you tease. Gavin chuckles, pinching your waist playfully. 

“But i prefer you to sleep with me.” Gavin says, kissing your eye. You nods and once again, scoot closer to him.

“I..i hope we can stay like this forever.” you say, listening to Gavin’s heartbeart.

Gavin hummed. “As much as i want that to happen, both of us are working. You have a meeting this morning too.” Gavin states the fact, making you pout.

“Gavin, you’re not fun.” you sigh, poking his chest. Gavin’s light chuckle warm your heart.

“You know, Gavin, i don’t mind waiting for you to come back home.” you say, out of the blue. Gavin hummed, waiting for you to finish. “If i can sleep in your arms again, i don’t mind waiting for you when you’re out for your missions. I do hope you won’t get hurt out there, though. My mind’s filled by waiting for you and it’s okay. I always happy when you come home.” you rambles, sleepiness is beginning to take on you.

Gavin hummed again as he traced circle on your back, as if lulling you to sleep.

“Hug me, don’t let me go.” you mumbles as you fall asleep.

Stepping in from the opened door and white carpet decorated by blue daffodil in front of you, you walked slowly as your white wedding gown swept the floor. Holding your uncle’s hand beside you, you walked down the aisle, seeing people you know were standing from their seat, watching you in awe as you stepped forward.

But none of their awe stare compared to one particular man who were waiting for you at the end of the aisle. The man whom loved you for years, your ups and downs. The man who patiently waited for you and never forced any of his feelings to you. The one you could always count on despite his cold demeanor at first. One who would protect you from danger, comforted you when you needed one.

Once you reached the altar, you let go of your uncle’s hand. He patted your back, giving his proud smile at you. You smiled back at him and watched him went away, leaving both you and your groom. The man who you will take his last name stared at you, smile never faltered from his face.

The officiant, holding the paper in his hand, looking at both of you. The middle aged man smiled. The man who in a minute to be your husband nodded to the officiant. The smile disappeared from his face, changed to a serious one, nervous even.

“I, Gavin Bai, take you (Y/N), to be my lawfully wedded wife. I take you with all your faults and all my strengths as i offer you with all my faults and all my strengths. I promise to honor and care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfillment as an individual through all the changes in our lifes. I choose you as the person whom i will spend my entire life.” Gavin said.

He exhaled, relieved that he managed to say the sentence in one go. Gavin was never a really man of words, you know that too well. You smiled at him, saying your own vow.

“I, (Y/N), take you Gavin Bai, to be my lawfully wedded husband. I take you with all your faults and all my strengths as i offer you with all my faults and all my strengths. I promise to honor and care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfillment as an individual through all the changes in our lifes. I choose you as the person whom i will spend my entire life.”

Gavin held both of your hand in his. Both of you were smiling.

~~~~

You stared in front of your vanity mirror. You were staring there blankly with your robe and wet hair, didn’t mind to dry it properly. Gavin was just finished with his shower and walking out of the shower already wearing his shirt and boxer, drying his hair with towel. Gavin snaked his arms on your waist from behind, trapping you to his chest.

“What’s wrong?” Gavin asked.

You stared at Gavin’s eye from the vanity mirror, you shook your head lightly, smiling at the man who just became your husband several hours ago. “No, it’s nothing.” you said.

Gavin hummed, taking your hand in his and lead you to bed. Both of you sat on the bed and Gavin caressed your head lightly as you could feel air blowing around your hair, drying your still wet hair with his evol.

“You’ll get sick if you don’t dry your hair properly.” Gavin said. You giggled as the wind blowed your hair, sometimes the air blowing your cheek softly, tickling you.

After drying your hair, both of you snuggled on the bed, covered in blanket. Today was a long day for both of you. The wedding plan took a bit longer than you thought it would. The fact that your an orphan whom only have your relative to walked you down on the aisle and Gavin who didn’t even want to invite his family to come made the preparation took longer than it should, especially from your family. You understood Gavin’s reasons, but it was a hard time to convince your side of family.

You were also still busy with work since Victor still wanted some reports to be done before your marriage. You know Victor was being kind--in his own way. He let you have honeymoon vacation for 2 weeks, but the condition was you needed to finish some projects and reports. And you, being someone who wouldn’t say no to such rare opportunity, decided to took the challenge. Leaving Anna to take care of the planning for your wedding. And surprisingly, Anna did good job on helping and handling all the preparations, also with Victor’s tips and reccomendations. The CEO of LFG did come to your wedding ceremony for a short while, even if he received Gavin’s glare all the time. He did leave early cause he still had work to but managed to congratulate both of you (still Gavin only wear his strained smile at him).

Kiro also came, in disguise. You and Gavin caught him in the corner, smiling while waving his hand. He gave his blessings and congratulate both of you and left in a hurry before someone noticed he was there. Gavin wasn’t really pleased but he didn’t say anything, he nodded his head and gave Kiro his gratitude, which the latter accepted with a grin on his face.

You were lost in your own thoughts as you think about how you should live your life from now on. You weren’t exactly a confident person in the first place. Knowing Gavin, the man whom you secretly had crush after meeting him again after years since high school had the same feeling for you even when you were still school made your heart swell. You were also worried about his job. How dangerous his missions, how demanding it was, how long he could be away from you once he was in missions.

“You’re lost in thoughts again.” Gavin said.

You turned to see Gavin beside you. He wasn’t exactly annoyed but he bopped the tip of your nose with his forefinger. You smiled at his gesture and scooted closer to his chest. Gavin held you close as you listened to his heartbeat.

Having Gavin as your husband was like a dream. The man might look like unapproachable, but he really was handsome. He had several girl collagues fawning over him, despite him being professional around them and didn’t care much. Gavin might be a lone wolf, but he had charms and no one could deny that.

“Are you okay?” Gavin asked. “You’ve been quiet.”

You shook your head, again. Gavin pulled you even closer to him, his hand held your hand close to his chest. Being in Gavin’s hug always calms you down, it was warm. But at the same time, suffocating. You were happy, happy beyond words being with him. But at the same time scared. Scared that you weren’t good enough for him.

“You know, you’re good enough as you are.” Gavin began. “You’re not sure of yourself, aren’t you?” he asked.

You gulped, feeling the tears pooled on your eyes.

“You might never know how lucky i was when i met you again. How happy i was when you let me become your friend cause you were scared of me back in high school. I was like...flying to heaven when you said yes to my confession back then.” Gavin rubbed your back.

“I know, our relationship is still opposed by most of your big family due to my upbringing. I know you tried so hard to convinced them, until some of them accepted me. I know you also worked hard so you could get holiday and leave less stuff to handle for your team and Minor. I know you’re always worried when i’m on mission.” Gavin used his evol to blow soft wind around you trying to calm you down as he felt you stiffen in his hug.

“You being you is enough for me. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for still keep on doing things you believed in, keep on being strong, the cheerful girl i always remember from high school.” Gavin cupped your face, turning your head upward to meet his eyes. You tried so hard to blink the tears away, but you were so powerless in his hand. Gavin’s soft expression, the side he let only for you to see, the way his lips curled into a soft smile.

“You’ve been doing good. You’ve been fighting hard on your own, handling your father’s company. You also tried so hard for our relationship. You’re so good to me, i couldn’t ask for more. You’re the best thing that ever come to my life. You’re the best and i won’t ask anything out of you except for you to be safe, healthy and happy, hoping that me being with you makes you feel all of that.” Gavin said, caressing your cheek.

You couldn’t hold your tears as Gavin poured all of his heart to you. On your first night as a husband and wife. As your tears rolled down from your eyes, Gavin kissed the tears.

“Thank you for being alive. Thank you for still holding on.” Gavin kissed your eyes.

“I love you, with all of me, i love you.” Gavin whispered softly.

Your last defense broke. Tears keep on coming out of your eyes, turned into sobs. Gavin held you close in his arms, caressing your hair softly. You held his back, clutching your fingers at his shirt, clinging to him as if he would vanish if you let go.

“You’re not alone. I’m here with you. I won’t leave you alone. We’ll do this together, okay?” Gavin said. You nodded on his chest.

Gavin kissed the top of your head.

“It’s okay to cry, let it all out. I’m not going anywhere. Life has been so hard on you, hasn’t it?” he soothed you. You nodded again.

“You too, Gavin.” you said between your sobs. Gavin went silent, he let you finish. “You’re not alone. Share the burden to me too. All of your happiness, your sadness, everything. I want to know more side of you, want to share the smile and tears with you.” you said, albeit taking it long cause you were still crying.

“I love you too, with all of me.” you said, raising your head to meet his eyes. He looked sad, but smiling nonetheless. Gavin caressed your cheek and pulled your face closer. He closed the distance, sealing your lips on his. You angled your head, deepening the kiss while your eyes still letting out stream of tears.

The kiss was soft.

He pulled away from you, placing his forehead on yours. He stayed there for a while, closing his eyes and he pulled you to his hug and rubbed your back in circles trying to soothe you. It didn’t take long before you began to feel sleepy and fell asleep while still crying to his chest.

You felt lucky to have him.