#gatherers

In order to get what I needed, I joined a guild as a healer and convinced the Master to take me on a "training journey" with a small group of fresh and learning first time adventurers.

The closest Dungeon could be one of the safest but most dangerous ever recorded. While the first couple of levels were fairly peaceful places and had a relatively high pay-out, the dungeon, and subsequently the Monsters and End Boss, didn't follow any known rules like the other well-known places.

Rooms and passageways could sometimes change places within their floor. Lower levels could start out peaceful but turn hostile. But most notably, it was the only dungeon where the "Boss" didn't stay within the confines of the "Final Boss's" chamber or even the lowest level. It was also noted that any and all confrontations with the mysterious Monster had always ended in failure and death.

I knew this, but forced myself into the group anyway. There had never been a recorded incidence of the Boss appearing on the first or second floor anyway...

Of course, there is always a first for everything~

The magic in the area had been going crazy since the second day we arrived, but my guide was experienced and knew what they were doing. As a big burley man was explaining and teaching about how to navigate certain magical features right after a big change, I wondered away down a darkened pathway by myself, drawn by something I couldn't explain.

It took me through the darkness towards a glowing blue cavern with tall grass and rocky crystals. At the opening was the silhouette of a figure dressed in extravagant dark blue and silver robes, his face shrouded and hidden by the darkness and a large draping hood.

He beckoned me closer when I hesitated, with open arms. It was like I was then propelled to go to him like nothing else mattered. I wanted to go. I wanted to be with the person. And in turn, as soon as I was close, I was swept against their chest and surrounded by their robes/cloak.

When I looked up to see who it was, it was Sans, his glowing white eyelights shining softly down at me with a big, almost reverent grin on his face. Everything felt safe and he reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that he would keep me safe. He had been waiting for me.

The dungeon shifted and changing all around us in flashing light and overwhelming darkness (there was muffled panicked sounds of the other adventurers and growls from creatures in the background in the shifting tunnels), but he kept me close to his chest as he watched everything change. (My head came just under his chin)

I (physically) woke up after we were teleported to the ending Boss room. He had looked down at me, cupped my face, then slowly (and gently) kithed me on the lips~

...

Yes. 10/10 would want to dream it again.

We've got Ikaris in the middle. He's like a Superman. We've got Sprite on the right. He's the resident trickster and eternal Eternal child because the Celestials are fucked up. And new Eternal who never goes on to do anything interesting: Arex.

All Eternals are given names that are kinda like other names. Like Sersi is based on Circe and in-universe inspired Circe. Well, Arex is based on the other Ajax, Ajax the Lesser, but we already had someone named after Ajax named Ajak and there's only so many ways to creatively misspell names so Ajax gets you Arek which doesn't really have the same punch of 'oh yeah I can see how this name drifted into that name when these stories were made into myths and legends.'

While Ajak went on to have a big role in the Eternals movie and Kieron Gillen Eternals run, Arek got two appearances alive and spent the entirety of Gillen's Eternals dead, killed off off-panel.

So this issue right here is probably the best Arek will EVER get!

No pressure!

Anyway, the Eternals are here to see Sersi and they're not taking a 'she's recuperating right now and really isn't able to be moved' for an answer.

Ikaris is distinctly a dick today. When Cap tells him that they can't hustle Sersi out of bed, Ikaris just eye lasers him.

Sprite: "Ikaris, you overgrown idiot! I told you this wasn't the way to do things! We're not even sure about Sersi! It doesn't pay to get the Avengers angry."

Weird days when the resident trickster character has to be the adult in the room.

Hercules and, weirdly, Black Widow grab Ikaris and tell him to slow his roll.

Arek tells the Avengers not to get involved in Eternal matters since THEY COULD NOT POSSIBLY COMPREHEND and Black Widow tells him they could try to comprehend. You don't know. The limits of her comprehension. You don't know.

Black Widow: "I've found communication solves a lot of problems." Arek: "We owe you no explanations, woman." -get earthquaked, idiot- Crystal: "That's no way to talk to our chairman, Eternal. Now why don't you start talking or I'll aim my next seismic wave at your skull."

Sprite has to be the responsible adult in the room, despite being an eternal Eternal child, and tells everyone to calm down. The Eternals didn't come here to fight! They're here to help!

Off-panel Sersi expresses Doubt about that but supposes the Eternals have always been a hot-headed lot. Anyway, Sersi is here now. And she's wearing a nightgown that seems weirdly out of character for her. Either party girl her or new prone to fits of murderous rage her.

Ikaris is getting ready to get mad at Black Knight for pulling a tough guy 'you wanna disturb Sersi's beauty sleep, you go through me' routine but Sersi cuts that short.

Black Knight has every right to be here, getting in people's faces. You see... he's going to be her... GANN JOSIN!

DUN DUN DUN!

All the Eternals are reacting but all the humans are just looking at each other and shrugging.

Sprite tells Black Knight its quite an honor but his expression is one of a smile plastered over internal panic.

Maybe because Eternals "rarely pick humans for the Gann Josin."

MAYBE BECAUSE SERSI DIDN'T EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO DANE BEFORE GETTING HIM TO AGREE TO IT?

Black Knight: "Sprite, take pity on a poor mortal... what is a Gann Josin?" Sprite: "You mean she didn't tell you -- ?! It's an intimate version of the Uni-Mind. A type of bonding that creates a mental union between two people... and makes them lifelong soulmates. You really should be flattered... really."

Black Knight says he's flattered. But he glances at Crystal while he's saying this so he's clearly feeling some second and third thoughts.

He and Sersi should really have a longer conversation about this.

Anyway. Gann Josin. It's like Eternal marriage. And also a psychic bond. So it's like Cyclops and Jean marriage. If one of them lived forever. So it's like Cyclops and Jean marriage.

Well, I've heard it said that Harras brought a lot of X-Men energy into Avengers.

Meanwhile, Anti-Vision is just the worst at undercover.

Or maybe the best? Because nobody suspects him. But he goes completely mask off when he's alone.

This is just begging for someone to overhear.

Anti-Vision complains about it being boring to impersonate Vision because he apparently just says logical all the time and nobody has noticed the difference.

And then Anti-Vision gets horny about Sersi and Crystal.

Anti-Vision is quite the anti Vision. I almost want to see more of him on his original world to see how a Vision who was our Vision's opposite in almost every way would have fit in.

Anyway. While he's being gross and out of character, Arex, Sersi, and Ikaris come to use the room.

If Arex wasn't such of a dick that he fired laser as soon as he saw someone was in the room, if he had just walked into the room like a polite person, he might have overheard Anti-Vision being suspicious before the synthezoid realized he had company.

Sersi isn't really paying attention and Arex and Ikaris don't know Vision that well. They don't realize that when Anti-Vision threatens to belt them that that's not something he would do.

When the rest of the Avengers rush in, Anti-Vision has to slip back into character. Which he does by decrying how "illogical" Arex was to randomly laser at him.

Black Widow tells Ikaris to stop being such a dick or else the Avengers are going to start hitting back.

Ikaris tells her that this is a private Eternals matter and that Sersi is there responsibility.

So Sersi lasers Ikaris and tells him she's no man's responsibility.

I'm starting to think that Ikaris randomly lasering Captain America and Arex randomly lasering Anti-Vision isn't them being rude. So much as Eternal culture is just people lasering each other all the time.

Sersi: "I'm an Avenger now, Ikaris... and what can be said to me... can be said to them! So out with it, cousin!"

So Ikaris Explains It All.

HE THINKS SERSI HAS COME DOWN WITH "THE MAHD W'YRY!"

I think that's an Eternalized (spelled with different letters) version of the Mad Worry. Eternal diseases are weird. I wonder if they get the C'mon Cohld.

Sersi knows what the Mahd W'yry is so she needs no explanation to dismiss Ikaris' concerns. But she did say he could say this in front of the Avengers and they don't know about this so they ask her, hey can you expound on that?

She dismisses it as a folktale so they pivot to asking Ikaris. And then Arex answers because this is his first appearance and dammit he wants to do stuff!

So Arex explains THE SECRET CURSE OF THE ETERNALS!

Or: this is how Eternals work this week. Keiron Gillen hasn't gotten here yet so this is what we're going with.

When the Celestials came to prehistoric Earth they did the Celestial thing. Tinkered with early man, created the Deviants, created the Eternals. And since (in this current canon) Eternals were made out of human stock, their minds were based on human brains despite all the Celestial given gifts such as longevity, VAST POWER, and the power to psychically link to form a Uni-Mind.

Ikaris, now chiming in because Arex can't have nice things: "The Celestials were not omnipotent. They were not creators of life, merely beings who transfigured what already existed. And there were limitations to their considerable skill. For, when the Eternals were changed physically, the template for our brains -- our very minds -- remained all too human. Yes, our bodies could last forever, but no one knew how long a human consciousness could last. How much experience could a being absorb? How much living before the weight of years proved too much and crushed the soul? How long before the mind wearies of living and can do it no more? The Uni-Mind, we believe, was formed to help wash away our anxieties... our fears, as a type of stopgap to prevent the W'yry. But now there are too few of us to create the union, and we sit and wait and fear the day when we have all lived too long... and we go mad."

I really do like this as an Eternals-specific problem.

That they can live so long that they can go mad. That the Uni-Mind can treat this. And that they kind of fucked themselves by having most of the Eternals get bored and fly off into space.

It also meshes nicely with stuff in Gillen's Eternals. Which doesn't matter because that's so much its own thing that you just can't fact check it against previous stuff. But the Eternals have processes for resetting a kinsman that's gone mad. And the Uni-Mind is one process for that, allowing a majority of Eternals to overwhelm and literally change the minds of a minority faction.

Anyway.

The Mahd W'yry. It's kind of like Eternal senility. Or that's how Captain America reads it.

Ikaris further thinks that the reason why Sersi is growing increasing unstable and so quickly is that she formed a Uni-Mind with the Brethren. Who were KINDA Eternals-adjacent but it's common Eternals belief that cross-species Uni-Minding can hasten the breakdown of mental discipline.

Sersi apologizes for NOTHING. Uni-Minding was the only way to save Earth and end that story and also save the Brethren, yeah, that was important too.

And also Sersi says hey at least she saved Earth while the other Eternals were sitting on their thumbs in Olympia, dreaming of the past and dreading the future. Sure, Sersi has some stuff going on BUT SHE DOESN'T THINK ITS SOME SILLY FAIRY TALE DISEASE, OKAY?

Of course, the reason why Sersi so violently rejects the idea of her having the Mahd Wy'ry is because of the only known 'cure' if the Uni-Mind isn't available.

Ikaris: "The old dictates are very clear... the madness cannot be allowed to spread. The Rite of Cleansing is called for. The elimination of the mad one from the body that is our people... by... molecular discorporation." Sersi: "In other words, my friends... death. Believe me, my family's always been a fun bunch to hang around with."

Hm. Maybe that's why Ikaris has been so short-tempered. His duty is to bring Sersi back to Olympia and kill her. He's not thrilled by this. He looks away from the Avengers when he's explaining this. But he's always a dutiful one. He'll do it.

It also sounds like the Mahd Wy'ry might be contagious in some way. The Eternals ARE all psychic so that makes sense.

Captain America: "This is insane, Ikaris!" Sersi: "Why, mon capitan, I didn't think you cared!" Ikaris: "It is repulsive to you, Avenger... because you cannot understand our culture."

Arex demands Sersi return with them to Olympia so they can discuss this. Although it sounds like minds have already been made up so 'discuss' sounds like 'harangue you into agreeing.'

Arex grabbed Sersi to make his point more dramatically so Hercules grabs Arex's cape and then ka-POW!s him across the room.

Hercules: "Eternal -- be grateful I do not -- snap thy -- back!"

Ikaris turns his literally blazing eyes on the Avengers and yells that he doesn't want to kill Sersi but he has a responsibility. And Black Knight speaks for the Avengers to say, well, so do the Avengers, to take care of the Avengers.

Ikaris rips off a big chunk of wall and prepares to throw it but then Sprite chimes in.

Hi, voice of reason. Things have gotten unreasonable around here while you weren't talking.

Sprite points out that Sersi is the most powerful of Eternals (huh, really?). If she doesn't want to come back, they're going to have a hell of a time forcing her to. And they're going to have to force her because they kinda want to kill her. And then Sprite turns his voice of reason on Sersi and tells her to be honest with herself. Despite her dismissal, she is worried that the Mahd Wy'ry is real and could be affecting her.

SO. All of that being the case... the Eternals will go! But: they're going to do Sersi's plan and make Black Knight her Gann Josin to "gauge Sersi just in case."

Gann Josin. The weird mind meld soul mates thing. Is there like a ceremony or ritual or- FUCK YOU GET SOUL MATE BLASTED IDIOT.

Without so much as asking Black Knight his opinion or explaining anything, Ikaris just blasts Black Knight with... Gann Josin energy, I guess.

Like he's performing an Eternal shotgun wedding.

Says you wanted to be in charge of Sersi's well-being, on your head be it. And then fucks off. WITHOUT EXPLAINING ANYTHING.

Ikaris, you kind of suck here.

Sersi cradles Black Knight where he lays smouldering and thanks him for wanting to help her. But this rouses Black Knight from surprise soul mating and he goes off on her.

Black Knight: "You're thanking me, lady? For what?! It's not like I had any choice in the matter!" Crystal: "By Agon! What did they do to you?!" Black Knight: "I'm your soulmate now, Sersi, isn't that right? Ikaris changed me somehow -- he used me! I was your friend, lady, you had no right to do this! No right at all!"

And he storms off while Sersi whispers it's not supposed to be like this.

Also, his eyes have gone all edgy. He's got red iris and black sclera. This is actually how I first met Black Knight, in a random issue of the Bloodties crossover.

I always kind of wondered what that was about. And now I know! Surprise Eternal shotgun soul mating.

Also, I think I've seen someone else with those eyes but whoooooo?

Meanwhile, in the secret Gatherers citadel, Vision (our Vision but stuck in Anti-Vision's green and yellow and red instead of bleached white body) finally breaks out of the tube he's been contained within.

His escape was simple. Proctor's programming kept Vision from intangibling through the tube. But it didn't prevent him from using his SOLAR BEAM. Solar eye beams. What prevented that was low solar energy, I guess? But Vision has been saving up energy his whole time captive and finally unleashed the SOLAR eye BEAM to melt a hole in the tube and float to freedom.

He needs to warn the Avengers that there's an imposter among themst. But before Vision can escape escape, he runs into Proctor.

WHO TOTALLY EXPECTED HIM TO ESCAPE! ALL PROCEEDS ACCORDING TO HIS CALCULATIONS! He's that kind of villain, I guess.

Proctor says Vision knows too much to be allowed to escape and Vision asks what is it that he knows? He brings up Proctor's claim to be Sersi' husband. Which Vision considers unlikely since Sersi never mentioned a marriage.

Proctor, while backhanding Vision: "To one such as Sersi, Vision... such an alliance is at most a passing thin! But I am her one, true Gann Josin, Vision... I am the only one who knows what she is about to become!"

Well, damn. He's name-dropping Gann Josin. Which means nothing to Vision. But we've just learned what it is and that the Avengers have just learned what it is.

Also, he does seem to have red and black eyes. And Sersi has been maybe diagnosed with Eternals senility, which has included fits of rage and murder. Proctor's story is gathering a lot of plausibility.

Back at Avengers Mansion, Dane is a glum chum.

He's standing moodily on a terrace or some such scenic overlook area with planters for plants.

Crystal comes out and asks him if he wants to be alone. Because if he wants to be alone, she can leave. But we need to establish whether or not he wants to be alone before she can leave.

Black Knight: "I don't think I can be alone now, Crystal... I think I'm beginning to feel her thoughts already, thanks to Ikaris. Isn't life great? Instant empathy in one easy lesson. My god, she's so confused... and scared."

Crystal suggests that Vision or Hank Pym could use science to sever the Gann Josin bond. But Black Knight doesn't like that idea. He didn't ask for this but he also doesn't like the idea of turning his back on a person in trouble.

Sersi needs someone and maybe it would be selfish of Dane to try to make it not be him.

Crystal says that she does think Sersi loves Dane. Which prompts Dane to some honesty time.

Black Knight: "It's time for some honesty here... I don't love her, Crystla. It's you I want. I've been trying to deny it for months, almost since you joined the team... but I love you. I turned to Serse because you were trying to patch things up with Quicksilver. I couldn't tell you! I tried to forget... it wasn't fair! It wasn't right! I used her!"

What a mess of a love triangle this is.

At least it's not a love quadrilateral. Crystal reveals that she tried to patch things up with Quicksilver but he pretty thoroughly rejected her when she guest starred in X-Factor #89, on sale now, er, then.

Dane decides that this means the two of them should kiss each other.

Black Knight: "Seize the moment, Crystal... Let's stop being noble, okay?"

But, wuh oh. Anti-Vision is voyeuring on this kiss. Staring at it all angry style. Probably because, judging by his creepy comments earlier, he wanted to be the one to smooch on Crystal.

Dammit all, it is a love quadrilateral after all! But one with identity theft and probably attempted murder!

More alarmingly, Sersi is watching the Dane/Crystal smooch from a mansion window. Her reaction kept ominously ambiguous for right now.

Geez, what a mess. What a breadtangle of a relationship drama.

On the one hand, don't agree to become a proper noun like Gann Josin without asking follow-up questions, Dane! On the other hand, don't shoot people with soul mate beams without their consent, Ikaris!

But the Dane/Crystal/Sersi thing was going to become dramatic sooner or later. Dane was handling his crush on Crystal EXTREMELY POORLY. Either being a sullen baby about it or making out with Sersi to try to forget about it. Often right in front of Crystal. Which seems less to do with forgetting his feelings for Crystal and more an attempt to punish her for making him feel those feelings?

I hope Dane does have feelings for Sersi because him claiming to be her friend and wanting to help her rings a lot different coming from her friend-with-benefits rather than whatever the hell Sersi thinks they were.

On the fourth? fifth? hand: Sersi had to have known that Dane wanted to smooch on Crystal. She conveniently interrupted too many moments between Dane and Crystal to not have done it on purpose!

And this relationship drama has a potential body count! Sersi is on a short list to be put down like a rabid dog by her own family if Dane can't keep her emotions balanced. Anti-Vision is impostering and may try to kill Swordsman at any moment.

The fact that Hercules' own romantic relationship is apparently an evil plot by Hera seems more normal compared to the nonsense that Dane/Crystal/Sersi have going on!

Thankfully, we don't have to wait either a month as the back-then people would have or even two weeks as the now-people would if I was alternating between Avengers and Avengers West Coast.

I'm sticking with the Avengers for a while so next week is whatever the hell happens next!