Drokk!

i know this is probably just a joke, but let me have this okay?

vows are either really personal or super generic. if they’re generic then they’re the ones the minister reads at the altar and the person repeats. thus, if gus’s vows were to be generic, then shawn would not have had to write them at all. further, shawn tells gus that he was sure the vows would “make him cry.” thus alluding to the fact that the vows were personally written. therefore, gus’s vows had to be different, not generic. they had to be personal.

but how can someone write personal vows about a nonexistent person? they can’t. when shawn wrote gus’s vows for him, he must have been writing about someone.

at this point, there’s no evidence that gus has ever had a serious partner (of which shawn knew). so who on earth would shawn be writing gus’s vows about? who is shawn imagining gus marrying?

who does shawn know so well that he can write vows to them? what relationship of gus’s does shawn know everything about?

answer: shawn.

shawn sat down one day, filled with love and yearning and angst, and wrote out what he imagined gus would say to him if he ever had the chance to stand across the altar from gus. if he ever had the chance to marry his best friend, marry the person he’d been pining over since high school.

absolutely devastated about this 😭😭😭 they like……. barely consider each other best friends in the beginning i-

……………there’s just…… so much to process here

1) gus says “i just got a lap dance from patrick swayze.” NOT “patrick swayze tried to give me a lap dance.” meaning, gus canonically allowed a man to give him a lap dance and did not stop him. he wanted the lap dance. queer.

2) the lap dance got far enough for swayze to unbutton gus’s shirt and cover him in whipped cream. it wasn’t just a few seconds of grinding before gus left. gus stayed around long enough for swayze to undress him. queer.

3) the look on shawn’s face?? he’s taken aback. he actually leans/jolts backward when gus tells him this? he jealous. both of gus and swayze. queer.