Tarny part 2 (during the missing time/judes exil.)
I’m assuming that things got worser and worser whilst jude was in exile. The parties and revels Locke held and that Taryn had to host grew larger and larger and more chaotic as time went on, and Locke continued to push and push Taryn boundaries more and more and maybe at first she excused it, since the “fae don't love the way we do.” as Locke always so keen to remind her and love in her eyes comes hand in hand with pain.
I think a part of her felt that if she suffered enough, she would grow more beautiful in Lockes eyes, like the princesses in her stories. Where the prince "finds her beautiful. Beautiful, not despite her suffering, but because of it.” (tls, Pg 70).
Another example of her equating love to pain, is when she meets/talks about Heather and she doesn't understand how
“Vivi could possibly love a mortal girl. She didn’t know anything. She had no magic. She didn’t even seem like she’d done much suffering.”(tls pg 302) I think that the reason their meeting shook her up a little was that it put in to question her views and understanding of love.
She's convinced that if she tries hard enough, suffers hard enough and works hard enough. She can orchestrate her own happily ever after. Which probably entails being married with a nice house and a husband who kissed her when he came home, and a family of her own.... but that’s not Locke for him that would be a boring ending.
Like he mentioned in the lost sisters for him pain, sadness, suffering, anguish are all simply just spices (which are needed for a good story). Which is probably (again l am just assuming) that there marriage was a tug of war. Both of then trying to course correcting there story and trying to mould it to go down the root or path they desire.
Locke pushing her to get a reaction whether its with more extravagant parties, parading new lovers, belittling her to there guests, inviting people she hates or that mock her for being the daughter of a traitor, pushing her take part in things she hates, emotionally manipulating her or just leaving her alone for weeks on end to be with other lovers and to test her love.
I think he gets a rush out of her losing her composure since he says “There it is. That temper you try to hide. You know what fascinates me about you? You’re a hungry person sitting in front of a banquet, refusing to eat.” (tls, Pg 368)
I think maybe at first Taryn was coping with what he was throwing at her but it got harder as time went on, since even before things got real she says.
“Jealousy wasn’t a spice to me then. It was the whole meal and I was gagging it down.”
And that’s not even mentioning his scheming and the darker things he was hiding. That even we as the fans were surprised about, he gave the Ghost as basically a dowry present to Madoc, who by the looks of it had no problem also treating him like a pet and keeping him in his cell until he was needed.
(Imagine what it would have been like, when the ghost came by as Madocs and Lockes messenger boy/errand boy/play thing.)
I think she grew numb along the way, started losing hope and realised that this is it. This is what its always going to be. There no happy ending and probably went from eating fairy fruit as a dare/proof she can fit in, to consuming it as a kind of daily drug, to go into auto pilot mode/escape, to still be the perfect wife and to focus on other things like the house and the garden.
I think the moments she was alone, with only the staff and her enemies and Locke never came home. She finally understand what her mother went through. How she grew to hate the place that she once loved, as it became more like a beautiful cage then a home. A cage she was soon going to be sharing with a baby, who she will have no means to protect, not fully anyway and how all this time she misjudged her and didn’t want to be anything like her. Yet out of all three of her sisters she ended up like her the most.
I think the baby was what changed her and made her snap out of her daze. Realising that it’s not just her anymore, she might be able to settle for Lockes version of love but the baby doesn't deserve to, he/she didn't chose this.
Which led to her confronting Locke, maybe after coming back from being with mistress or partying all night. She probably tried to put her foot down and said things had to change and just let everything she had pushed down out. I think she tried to reason with him but he wasn’t having it and probably tried to convince her to give the baby away (Changling). Swap it with a human family and have the human baby go where all the other human children taken away go. I can imagine him coming up with a bullshit excuse like “this is for us, if you love me you will give it away. A baby is only going to get in our way and we’re not ready for it, years from now it will come back to us. If you love me prove it. its me or the baby.”
Then when flattery didn't work, he tried to tear her down with words and maybe even tried to man handle her or maybe hit her. (Okey so this part may be a bit of a stretch but)
A part of me questions if maybe it wasen't just anger at what he said that made her snap... maybe just maybe he tried pushing the boundaries and she snapped/her training kicked in.
"You got the same instruction in swordplay she did; you must remember some of it. I was never very good. I kept apologizing when I hit anyone,” I reminded her." (Tls)
(Tqon) (ldk for me it gave me the vibe, that there was alot more Taryn left out of the story. That maybe she wasen't ready to talk about yet).
Since she never come off as violent (manipulative..yes at time... but violent not so much). Since she turned out more like Oriana then Madoc and even admitted she looked down on Jude for resorting to violence.
I think if Jude had killed him it wouldn't have been the same. (I think even if it was for her own good she might have resented her.) Since she'd probably wonder if she could have changed him, made it work. Also l don't think Jude or Cardan would have killed him since he's Nicasia and Cardans friend and Jude and Cardan where feeling forgiving in tqon. *l shudder at the thought of him being alive at the end* If he had lived Locke and Tarny would have probably still been in the same vicious cycle and my new favourite baby ship (txg)💓, woulden't have even had a chance to even touch the water.
........moving on.........
For me l now see the lost sister as an apology letter/story that Taryn is going to give to Jude after the queen of nothing. It's her way of apologising in the best way she nows how, through story. I think its something she's written and rewritten and has added to as time/events unfold. 🤔
I think the reason why some fans had trouble forgiving Taryn is because of how its kind of left to interpretation/open ended, our experiences shape how we see it. Reflecting on the book l think that maybe the reason why we never got to see it properly or talk about in the book was partly because of time, the book had alot to cover in only 300pgs and who knows maybe the reason why was that Holly realised that since its a delicate story/senstive topic, it needs its own book to fully do it justice. If it is how l think it is, its an arc that you either have to see for yourself or have some experience in.
If you read this far, l'm surprised, l really tried to keep it short but there was alot on my mind. Thats why it ended up being split into two posts. 😂
