#garnethyst

*crawls in on bloodied hands and knees dragging a new chapter behind me on a broken dogsled*

I WROTE THIS FOR YOU MY DARLINGS

In the style of Eldena Doubleca5t, blessings be upon her for the hours of entertainment and tea-spilling she has given us.

Connverse: You are a firm believer in keeping things canon and keeping things wholesome.

Rupphire: This is basically the same thing as Connverse but specifically for queer people. There's also like a 75% chance you've also shipped all of the other canonical queer pairings such as Catradora, Korrasami, and Bubbline.

Pearlmethyst: You are a huge fan of that one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercial except it's more like "you got your 'bickering married couple' in my 'responsible older sibling/foolish younger sibling'".

Pearlnet: Your ideal relationship dynamic is being the only reliable ones in the group project.

Garnethyst: Your love of thicc women got so bad that one day you were like "you know what's better than one thicc woman? Two thicc women."

Lapidot: You just want to retire to the countryside to make meepmorps with your emo GF.

Amedot: You've gotten so much mileage out of that one scene from "Too Far" that if that scene were a car and you got it into a minor fender bender, your insurance would just total it out.

Pearlrose: You don't just want to date a tall hot woman, you want to date the tall hot woman everyone else wants to date.

Bispearl: You just wanted good things for Bismuth. And really, who wouldn't?

Volleypearl: Your ideal date is finding out you have the same ex and bonding by talking shit about them.

Bellow Pearl: Your ideal date is recreating that one scene from Titanic. You know the one.

Bellow Diamond: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared trauma.

Jaspedot: You're always a slut for height difference with a big ol' helping of bickering coworkers.

Jaspethyst: You're always a slut for height difference with a big ol' helping of enemies to lovers.

Jaspis: You're always a slut for a toxic relationship and you can never understand why other people aren't. Isn't the drama the interesting part?

Gregrose: You just want to be bridal carried into the sunset by your tall space wife. Also anything involving Greg falls somewhere on the Men Getting Pegged! scale.

Greg x Pink Diamond: This is just Gregrose but for people who said "you know what's better than a tall space wife? An even taller space wife."

Greg x Any Other Diamond: You think that the 'Greg Murdercock Universe' meme will never stop being funny.

Gregmethyst: Your ideal date is unironically enjoying terrible media together.

Eyequamarine: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared hatred.

Larsbuck: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of getting your senpai to notice you.

Laremmy: Your ideal relationship dynamic is cocky thief/obsessive cop.