I saw a headcanon you posted a while back about Suralinda and Poe’s relationship back when they were in the navy, and that it would take a full post to explain, and I’m really curious about it. I’ve been rereading the comics and I just finished Suralinda’s introductory issue again not long ago and I’ve been captivated by her character.
Suralinda is probably one of my favorite characters introduced in the expanded universe. The fact that Charles Soule really looked at him and went "yes he needs an old friend who is a pseudo Gale Weathers that he has a lot chemistry with" is the best fucking thing to me.
Anyway, in my headcanon (which I don't think has made it into anything outside of RPs with my best friends so far), she was one of the first friends Poe made in the flight academy. Suralinda is really good at sussing people and their true motives out, and I feel like coming off of the Spice Runners, Poe would be really drawn to someone like Suralinda, you know?
For context, one thing I did take note of in Resistance Reborn (hate to cite it, but alas, it did serve some uses for this 'verse/headcanon) is the vague implication that Kes...isn't around anymore? I can't fathom Poe asking Snap to bring his own parents back into the fight if it's not something he'd also be willing to do, and since Kes doesn't appear in the book, my thought was that he'd already passed away by this point.
So that snowballed into the thought that Kes gets sick while Poe is in the flight academy, and shortly before his (early) graduation, is hospitalized. Wedge flies Poe home to be with his dad, and Kes passes away. Once Suralinda hears back at the Academy, she gets on a shuttle and stays with Poe on the ranch in the days after so he's not alone.
I think sometime after the funeral, Suralinda and Poe sleep together (culmination of tension built up over the years, and some much needed comfort), and start a relationship that...doesn't last very long. Suralinda isn't the type of person, I think, to want to settle down and just wants some fun with her best friend for a little bit before she leaves the navy, and Poe is a "fall fast and hard" kind of guy.
They split pretty amicably, but I think it does a little bit of a number on Poe coming off of Zorii constantly belittling him for being "too romantic", though he doesn't hold it against Suralinda at all. But that belief of being "too much" for partners is something that I kept fashioning into most of my poelya (my first poe x oc ship) lore, which was fun to play with for angst.
But, yeah! That's my elaborate headcanon for Poe and Suralinda's backstory. I don't know how it would work in a universe where Kes is fine, though lmao
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summary: poe dameron and hope solo have places to be, but the only place they want to be is in bed
tags/warnings: essentially a non-sexual situationship (they're disgustingly in love but in denial), cuddling, flirting, kissing that borders on smutty, references to sex and jealousy, some suggestive dialogue, a little angst and brief reference to trauma, but sickeningly sweet fluff overall
word count: 2.8k
a/n: this is a scene I've written for my series fire meet gasoline on ao3 but it's been sitting in my notes app for too long to not share it as a stand alone one shot. also gif for obvious reasons.
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The feeling of Poe's arms unconsciously tightening around my body's what stirs me awake in the early hours of the morning. While I can vaguely remember falling asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart it seems that sometime in the night we ended up with my back flush to his chest and our limbs tangled. Any space we'd left between us in the late hours of last night long gone.
My lips brush the arm he has tucked beneath my head as I look back over my shoulder, finding his head buried in the crook of my neck and still sound asleep. The feeling of him nuzzling into me's a now familiar sensation I let myself bathe in for as long as I can before forcing myself to remember that we have places to be.
The only downside to these mornings is the tragic fact that they have to end, especially when physically removing myself from him is a feat in itself. I may as well be struggling against a Wookie with the amount of strength it takes to pull myself from Poe Dameron's arms. Although I'd never want it any other way.
BB-8 beeps good morning and after returning it I glance at the time, reluctantly and very carefully untangling myself from Poe before he can wake up, a learned skill. Knowing the amount of sleepless nights we've both had in the past weeks I decide to take the first shower to let him sleep that little bit longer.
My spare flight suit’s folded in the drawer that had been empty until recently, along with the towel that’s made its way into Poe’s room along with other necessities. Despite having everything that I need when I sleep over I haven’t been able to give up the shirt he’d loaned me to sleep in, not that he seems to mind.
Finding my hairpins on his bathroom counter drives home how routine this arrangement’s become to the point that I don’t know how I slept any other way, how mere months ago I was out there in the Outer Rims alone and now… now I can’t imagine doing any of this without him.
He’s still asleep when I come out in my flight suit, finding him with the blanket bundled up in his arms in place of where I’d been. The sight has my heart clenching and BB-8 beeps quietly to ask if he should wake him up.
“I’ve got it,” I say, leaning down to rub his head as I make my way over to Poe, reluctant to wake him up but people are going to start asking questions if we’re both late to our third meeting this week. My mother would start asking questions, and this is something I wouldn’t quite know how to explain to her.
“Poe,” I hum as I sit down on the edge of his bed, running my fingers through his messed curls until he begins to stir. “Morning.”
He blinks in confusion when he can’t feel me beside him, but the tension leaves his face when his eyes find mine.
“Hey,” he smiles tiredly and murmurs “What are you doing all the way over there?”
“We’ve got a meeting.”
“We do?”
“Come on, Commander,” I say, brushing back the dark curls that fall across his forehead. “I thought it was your job to know these things.”
His eyes are warm as he leans into my touch. “I’ve been a little preoccupied.”
“That can easily be fixed-” I begin, slowly withdrawing my hand until he stops me.
“No, no,” he quickly says, and I’m smiling as he pulls my hand back and holds it to his cheek. His eyes fall shut as his lips brush my palm, his morning stubble a welcome feeling. “Don’t you dare.”
I can’t help but lean down to kiss his cheek, bumping his nose with mine as I insist “Come on or we’ll be late. I’ll grab our caf and see you there.”
“Hey, caf’s my job,” he protests as I reluctantly pull back but relents. “How late are we?”
“We’ve got about half an hour, so take a shower and I’ll meet you in the mess.”
“Yes, Captain,” he says, and rolls onto his back while still holding my hand in his, looking up at me with his brows drawn together as he questions “Since when are you up early?”
“Since I’m actually sleeping well,” I say and he gives me a tired smile that I’m helpless to adore.
“Me too, sweetheart.”
“Yeah?” I say softly, knowing that hasn’t been the case for either of us these past weeks.
He nods and brings my hand back to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “I mean, I sure as hell don’t wanna get out of bed.”
I catch the glint of mischief in his eye the moment before he tugs me back into bed with him, somehow managing to roll me so I’m lying on my back in the small space and he’s hovering above me - not that I’m putting up much of a fight.
“Which is why I got out of it before you woke up,” I whine as he nestles his head in the crook of my neck and slips an arm back around my waist, intentionally pinning me to the bed with his bodyweight to keep me from moving. “Since someone likes to cling to me like a sloth.”
He lifts his head up with a proud smile. “A handsome sloth.”
“That’s true,” I agree, helpless to deny that as he bumps my nose. “But that face won’t help you when you’re late.”
“It’s helped me so far,” he dismisses, his stubble grazing my skin as he kisses my forehead. “Might not be enough to get me out of trouble but it’s enough to keep you here.”
My jaw drops a little at the audacity but I can’t argue considering he knows damn well it’s the truth as I shake my head at him. “That damn face - my one weakness.”
“It’s alright sweetheart, yours is mine as well,” he assures me as he peppers kisses across my face. “Those eyes… you know I can’t say no to you so-” I whine again as he pulls back and moves his body off mine, settling between me and the wall. “I’ll let you get going and I’ll meet you in the mess.”
He knows he has me where he wants me and I couldn’t care less as I tug him back by the fabric of his shirt and he certainly doesn’t make any effort to resist as he gathers me back up in his arms, settling over me with his elbow propping him up this time.
“No, you’re stuck with me now,” I decide and I’m holding his face as I pepper kisses from his cheek to the bridge of his nose, our bodies melding as our legs tangle together.
He kisses my jaw while he teases “Isn’t being clung to all night enough for you?” It’s then he turns his head to look at me and his lips incidentally brush mine, although it’s far from the first time.
Still, his breath hitches and my voice trembles slightly as I ask “What do you think?”
He searches my eyes, seeking whatever it is he’s looking for before our lips meet. Again, far from the first time. Another in a long series of kisses we’ve sworn wouldn’t happen again and yet we always end up here. The softness of his lips has me trying to recall every reason we’ve used for why this can’t happen.
The fact that we’re a disaster at the best of times.
That we both have the tendency to let our emotions cloud our judgement until it ends in screaming fights in the middle of the hangar.
The fact that he’s still my commanding officer and we’re on fragile enough footing with high command as it is, even if everyone knows we operate as partners.
That all it would take is one bad call in the field and we’re both dead.
The fact that he’s my best friend, my partner, the one damn person in this galaxy I trust whole heartedly.
Knowing that I’d lose my mind if anything ever happened to him.
If I lost him-
My back arches off the bed as his tongue slips into my mouth and he swallows the sound that comes from the back of my throat as the hand that was under me moves to squeeze my waist. He gasps softly as my fingers slip into his hair in return, gently tugging at his curls to pull him closer - needing him closer.
It’s when my legs hook around his hips that BB-8’s beeping reminds us that he’s still there and we both flush in embarrassment. R2’s been around long enough that he doesn’t linger past a certain time, even when Poe and I’s affection is innocent, but despite being a romantic sweet BB-8 isn’t prepared to see anything more than this.
And Poe and I certainly aren’t prepared to put on a show for him.
Still, I can’t help but burst out laughing when Poe murmurs in my ear “We have an audience.” He kisses my forehead again before clearing his throat. “Hey buddy, why don’t you go see what R2’s up to?”
He gives an offended beep, both at his dismissal and us forgetting his presence, before finding his way out and we share a look of mortified guilt. I’m trying to hold back embarrassed laughter while Poe’s head dips to my shoulder to kiss where my collarbone's exposed by the partially zipped flightsuit before he again slips into the bed beside me, holding me close with a caressing hand over my hip.
“I’m guessing you haven’t had to kick BB-8 out before?” I tread, knowing that I’m the only person Poe’s had sleeping over since he’s joined the Resistance, but I can’t help the pang of jealousy at the thought of him being with someone else like this.
“Like I’ve told you sweetheart, I’ve been living like a Jedi since before Leia recruited me,” he says, settling those thoughts with a kiss to my forehead. “I think he’s just mad I’ve been taking your attention away from him.”
“I still give him plenty of love,” I assure Poe and he tugs me closer, his lips lingering on my temple as I bury my face in his neck. “Five more minutes, then we’ll get up.”
“What happened to we’re gonna be late?” he teases and I just groan. “Hope…”
“I know, I know,” I pout, rolling back enough so that my face rests beside his on the pillow we’ve shared more often than not the past few weeks. “I just wanna stay here with you.”
I search his eyes, praying he hears what I really want to say. That I want it to be just you and me. No First Order. No protocol. Just us. Raw and mostly unfiltered.
He plays with my fingers, kissing each one individually before he meets my eye and I know that he does. “How about after the meeting I swap patrols with Karé so we can go out together?” he suggests. “It’s been a while since it’s been just the two of us and our x-wings.”
“Because command nearly has a nervous breakdown every time we go out there together,” I remind him, lacing our fingers together. “I believe the words ‘tie-fighter magnets’ were used.”
Neither of us can pretend we aren’t proud of that label.
“Well, it’s a good thing that the two best pilots in the galaxy can take them out then,” he says but I don’t miss the way his face falls when he remembers what happened the only time we couldn’t. Even now I can't shake the sound of the pure fear in his voice when he pulled me from the crash. He kisses my hand again and tries to push it from his mind but the memory lingers. “It’s you and me, and the patrols Leia’s got scheduled shouldn’t be dangerous.”
“Famous last words,” I say and he can’t argue with that considering command’s right when it comes to our track record. “But I’d like that. You and me.”
“Me too sweetheart,” he says, stretching as he lays back, both of us ignoring the fact that we’re definitely not making it to breakfast before the meeting. “But first I’ve gotta shower, get dressed-” he trails off, deciding to be a little shit as he grins “Unless you wanna join?”
I’m matching his grin with a playful slap to his chest. “Then we’d definitely be late.”
“I didn’t hear a no.”
He can see me blushing red and he still wears that same cocky smile that I’m more than tempted to kiss off his face. I don’t know how many times he and I have been on this ledge, teasing and tempted to go further, only to treat this with more caution than we’ve given to anything else in our lives.
“Are you trying to call my bluff? Because we both know how that ends.”
This is one thing, waking up together and sharing these kisses that we don’t acknowledge. This we can still fool ourselves into believing is the pinnacle of platonic love, a playful extension of the affection we share - an unconventional partnership.
Sex is another thing entirely.
When we’d first met and things got heated I wanted it, and I wanted it with him, but we both know that this partnership is too delicate to handle those emotions on top of all the others we can scarcely deal with on our best days.
“Oh I know,” he assures me. “Considering the last time I tried to call your bluff you took a shot at me.”
“You were the one who said I wouldn’t do it,” I remind him, blaming that one on a bout of temporary insanity on both our parts after a dogfight gone wrong. “What can I say? You drive me crazy.”
“I know,” he grins. “The good kind of crazy I hope.”
“Always,” I smile before correcting. “Well, most of the time.”
“Alright, we’d be lying if we didn’t say most,” he admits and we share a laugh knowing that everyone on base, even our own squadron, was at their wits end with us not that long ago but here… it’s just us and no one else.
Unfortunately that has to come to an end, but not before I press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Breakfast in fifteen.”
“Yes, Captain,” he smiles as I sit upright, but raises an eyebrow upon deciding to try his luck. “I can make it in ten if you give me another one.”
And so I do, only for us to end up right back where we started; in the bed with his hands on my waist and mine tangled in his hair. The gentle swipe of his tongue across my bottom lip has me planning to use the dwindling privileges that being the General's daughter brings to get away with being late by at least another half an hour, although Poe puts a stop to that as if he wasn’t the one who started this.
“Poe,” I whine when he pulls away, sitting up properly and leaving me with my head on his pillow. "Why do you do this?"
He still has the audacity to play around and take his sick enjoyment in riling me up. “We have meetings, remember?”
My eyes narrow at him. “Bastard.”
“What was that?”
“Bastard,” I repeat and he grins.
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Come on beautiful,” he murmurs as he pulls me upright and I just laugh.
“Oh no, don’t ‘come on’ me when you’re the one that dragged me back into bed.”
He gives an unapologetic shrug but the warmth in his eyes makes up for it. “You missed the beautiful part.”
I shake my head and he kisses me again before I have to put my hands on his chest to keep enough distance between us that I can actually get out of the bed and away from it without him pulling me back into it.
“We’re gonna be so late and you still need to get ready,” I lecture, knowing I’ll be the one getting the blame for it considering he’s the favourite.
“Give me ten minutes to get ready and I’ll meet you in the mess,” he promises, extending a pinkie out to me but I’m not naive enough to get close enough for him to pull me back in. “Considering your track record Leia expects us to be about twenty minutes late anyways.”
I scrunch my face up at him but he only smiles.
“You’re really cute when you’re pretending to be mad at me.”
The smile I can’t force back only proves his point. “Shut up.”
“Make me,” he challenges, having woken up intent to test me but I'm not falling into his trap again.
“After the meeting,” I promise before heading out the door to find BB-8 waiting outside for us with R2. “Come on, you can keep me company while he drags himself out of bed.”
We're halfway to the mess when we come across Jess who's in a rush. "There you are, Threepio's been looking for you and Poe. Have you seen him?"
"Yeah he's just in the shower," I say as I continue on my way, only to freeze a little as she turns her head back incredulously.
"How do you know-"
"BB-8 told me," I quickly follow up and she blinks at me in disbelief before she shakes her head and keeps walking, but at this point Poe and I have accepted the fact that our squadron believes we're hiding some illicit affair from them.
Then again, it's always poor Jess who seems to catch us in compromising positions. Although as long as it's her and not my mother, or maker forbid Threepio, I can live in peace with that.
Thoughts on Poe and his relationship with the force? For me, especially in the comics, it's always been one of the most interesting explorations of a non-force user connecting deeply with the force. I keep coming back to Poe's speech at L'ulo's funeral and just sit in awe of the writing for a good for minutes.
Oh, I have so many thoughts on Poe and his relationship with the Force, and a lot of them always go back to that scene in the comics, and something Oscar said in an interview ahead of the Force Awakens:
He knows about Luke and Han. But his family - he comes from a long line of rebel fighters, as well. So he’s committed totally to the Resistance. He believes in the Force. (source)
So, one thing that they seemed to have landed on from the get-go, is that Poe believes in the Force - enough that, y'know, he mentions it as part of his speech at L'ulo's funeral, and one thing stands out to me:
These days, we don't talk about the Force that much. I don't know if it's gone out of fashion, or if it's just harder to see around us. It was different for me growing up. We used to tell stories about the Force all the time.
Which sounds to me like 'believing' in the Force here, doesn't just mean Poe knows it exists, but that he possibly believes in it the way Lor San Tekka and the Church of the Force might - like it's part of Poe's religion. I mean, consider how excited he is to meet Lor San Tekka, and how much Tekka knows - the Force means a lot to Poe, and shapes his worldview.
The rest of my thoughts are technically not disproven by canon, but are the kind of extrapolation that's definitely more "headcanon" than anything:
I think Poe's relationship with the Force is interesting because of how much the Force is seeped into his story, and not just in the sense that Poe believes in the Force in a seemingly religious way: there's the fact that Poe first hears Leia in Free Fall, just outside/around a set of old religious ruins (because Kijimi used to be a religious site, back when). There's the fact that we meet Poe in a village filled with people who do worship the Force, and that it's canon (or semi-canonical) that Poe taps into it on Takodana while flying.
(I think Poe taps into it a lot, actually, if we look at how uncannily intuitive he can be...or the way he can easily dodge blaster fire while running into battle....or how in tune he can be with his wingmen - there's a shot in TLJ of him moving in perfect synchronicity with C'ai, during the briefing with Holdo, that I never noticed. Poe does it with more people than just Finn, apparently, and that fascinates me.)
But I also find it...particularly interesting that Poe is present (or nearby) a lot of the times when Force Sensitives first tap into the Force. He's in the village when Finn connects to it for the first time properly (I'm assuming that's the moment, anyway, since Ren has such a profound reaction to Finn), and - well Rey's a little more shaky, since he's vaguely sort of around, flying on Starkiller, when she fully embraces the Force. But then in Terrifying Tales, he's there when Dean connects to it for the first time as well....
I don't think Poe is properly Force Sensitive, I don't see him being able to lift anything, or stuff like that. But I think the Force loves him, and I think it might get a little stronger around him (hence the above with the Force Sensitives). The Force does just...move strangely around him, I think - he grew up with a Force-sensitive tree in his back yard, he's the right hand of one of the last Jedi in the galaxy (even if she quit training), he's tapped into the Force before while flying (probably more than once, if we're being honest, considering no one in the gffa flies anything remotely like Poe), and there's the very interesting scene in TLJ that - sure, proves that Poe is as good a tactician and leader as Leia - has Poe and Leia come up with the same plan, at the same exact time, from opposite ends of the ship...which is then immediately followed up with Leia having a Force Bond moment with Ren.
And then there's the torture scene. Ren doesn't go easy on him. In the novelization, it's described as "silent agony". In Battlefront II, we see precisely what it's like for the person on the receiving end, and Del does give up the information that Ren needs. In Kenobi, we see Reva get what she needs within seconds.
Ren doesn't...get anything from Poe. According to a Topps Card:
Kylo Ren tortures Poe Dameron in an attempt to extract any information about the Resistance's plans and the map to locate Skywalker. Poe manages to keep the location of the Resistance base a secret, but is in so much pain, he cannot mask his thoughts about BB-8 having the information [source].
By all rights, according to what we've seen in Star Wars and of non-Force Sensitives being interrogated for information...Poe shouldn't have been able to keep anything from Ren. But he did, even while under excruciating agony. Consider how many Resistance secrets are in Poe's head - he knows not just the location of the base, but likely the location of most of their spies considering that Resistance shows that Poe is the one to keep contact with them.
And there's the fact that Poe's torture is something that canonically reverberates throughout the Force, since Ezra hears his voice in the World Between Worlds episode of Star Wars Rebels ("The Resistance will not be intimidated by you").
So, I don't know. I think Poe worships the Force, and I definitely don't think he's a passive agent to it, I do think that he influences it to some degree, and that it influences him to some degree. I think the Force loves Poe right back, and that push and pull dynamic is so interesting to me when so many of the people in his life are Force Sensitive....
and it's utterly heartbreaking to consider that Poe's first experience with it, was on Jakku and the Finalizer, assuming Leia had never used it around him before (which I do find a little doubtful, and I like to think he's seen her do some Force stuff before, but if we wanna go the angsty route lmao...), and that something that he loves and worships, and possibly loves him right back, was then weaponized against him.
Have you read the Return of the Jedi - The Rebellion 1 comic that was written by Alex Segura? I'd come across it randomly while searching wookiepedia and downloaded it not realising it is a literal prequel to Free Fall! I just finished it and I'm kind of mind blown.
Oh my god, yes I have! I can't remember how I stumbled on it, I think I just heard it had Kes and Shara in it, and it took me a few pages to realize it was by Segura but boy. I lost my fucking shit reading it.
It's SUCH a good comic, and I fucking love that the Dameron family (and the Spice Runners) have become Segura's work blorbos cos I want to read everything he has cooked up for them. I don't know if you've read his Battle of Jakku arc (at least I believe it was that one, I haven't read his main run), but it also features Zeva and Tomasso, which is a lot of fun.
Hi, I'm Ro, and I'm a fanfic writer/editor located in Australia. I'm twenty three, bisexual, and love to research when I'm not writing or more likely daydreaming about writing. I'm a lover of all things star wars and my active fics focus on my beloved Star Wars oc's. You can find me on most platforms @galacticwildfire although I'm most active on ao3 and youtube.
You can follow my sideblogs @sapphicwildfire for sapphic things/poetry/rhaenicent, @supernaturalwildfire for all cursed things (supernatural), @scarletwildfire for marvel (wanda/bucky/sam), and @wildfireferrari for F1 (16, 55, 81)
You can find my masterlist here with links to my fics and while I don't post full chapters for my series here anymore I often share excerpts/writing updates which I tag as #fic updates
I have a Bachelor of History and I'm currently studying a Master of History, so considering the state of the world there may be the odd rant here or two.
Fuck fascism, fuck ai, and may the force be with you <3
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Hope Solo. 16 Years of Age. Born Late 11 ABY onboard the Millenium Falcon. Daughter of Rebel Heroes Senator Leia Organa and Han Solo. Younger Sister and Apprentice of Ben Solo. Successor to Senator Leia Organa. Lady of House Naberrie and Organa. Student at the University of Theed and Luke Skywalker's Jedi Temple. Starpilot in the Naboo Royal Space Fighter Corps. Owner of R2-D2.
Have you come across the Psych Ward: Poe Dameron article which was written by Tim Stevens as part of the comic run? I was just rereading it and love how well it gets into Poe's character and his arc of taking up a leadership role. I've only come across it because I impulse bought the marvel comic subscription and it's one of the extras available.
Oh my god, no? I had no idea this even existed oh my god??? It definitely didn't get included in the original run as they were being released or in the physical prints, and a quick Google search didn't yield me anything more on it, so I'm guessing maybe it was a subscription only thing they did which is a bummer.
BUT! This is absolutely fascinating, on multiple levels. The implication that the Resistance does in fact have therapists (hooray my headcanon was correct!), and Poe's reaction to it is so interesting. The fact that he's open towards it (even if he's uncomfy with opening up) after....L'ulo, I'm presuming? based off what's mentioned, but immediately gets a little snippy at the concept of remotely talking about Jakku and the Finalizer at all in the Flight Log is just - mm I'm gonna be chewing on this for a while.
By which I mean THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW SOMETHING POE RELATED EXISTED THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT I'M BASICALLY DANCING AROUND WITH THE ENRICHMENT OF IT ALL.
UPDATE: after a (non google) search, I FOUND THE ARTICLE!!! BRB GONNA GO READ IT
Hope Solo’s haunted by the night the temple burned. Having gone rogue she hunts the First Order in search of answers until a fateful encounter with Poe Dameron brings her back to the Resistance and Leia puts her daughter under his command to find Luke Skywalker.
Word count: 8.3k
Tags/warnings: hondo ohnaka reminiscing the clone wars, boba fett, r2 being sick of skywalker bs, mentions of war crimes/torture, ptsd, descriptions of injury, typical skywalker bs over ranks, absent father/angry daughter, meet cute, flirting, ego's, simp poe, exhausted leia
A/N: hey guys first chapter is finally up after I swore to rewrite this in march and the prequel will be up in it's entirety very soon as well. First half of the chapter spends some time setting up the story before Poe comes in. I promise Han and Luke aren't as bad they are through her eyes, Leia pov next chapter will give context. Also all my stories are written for adults with adult themes, I use appropriate tags but read at your discretion.
Prologue
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32 ABY | Two Years Before A Force Awakens
Hope
It was meant to be a simple run, picking up the package from the contact and ensuring its safe passage. Whenever Hondo Ohnaka tells me it's an easy job that I'd handle with no problem I know to expect some sort of trouble in the form of a skirmish or firefight, but I didn't expect that skirmish to be with tie-fighters.
I'm used to taking them out, but I prefer being the one ambushing them instead of the other way around.
"Solo, you're alive!" Hondo laughs anxiously at the look on my face as I walk into his outpost on Batuu and slam the box down on the table. "Careful now, that's fragile!"
"What the hell did you send me to get that the First Order would want?" I ask him and he curses as he downs the rest of his drink. "Hondo, I swear-"
"Those bastards have finally done it!" he declares to no one in particular. "I knew it was only a matter of time before they targeted my business, just like the Empire did. One empire falls and another-"
I don't wait for him to finish his dramatics before I pull open the box but freeze when I see what's inside. "We already raided Grakkus the Hutt's vault, where did you find this?"
"Maz Kanata," he answers and raises his hands in his defence at how I gape at him. "Like myself she feels a certain sense of nostalgia when it comes to Jedi relics and well, it just so happens I had one of my men infiltrate her castle to steal one."
"Maz Kanata is a friend," I remind him but he doesn't seem awfully phased.
"Which is why I did not tell you what you were getting or who it was stolen from," he tries to reason as I hold the kyber crystal in my hand, a real kyber crystal. It's cracked and faded from the years, no use to me but it would still be priceless. "Well, it's not as impressive as I was hoping for, but I don't suppose you can use your Jedi magic to make it look pretty again for me?"
"No," I answer curtly, there still being one question I need the answer to. "How did the First Order just happen to know I'd be transporting a kyber crystal when I didn't even know what I was carrying?"
"They didn't," he answers and now I'm the one cursing as I realise what's happened, that they weren't targeting the shipment, but me. "It is not profitable for the First Order's tie-fighters to be repeatedly destroyed by one rogue Jedi in a starfighter, embarrassing for their reputation, so I'll let you put that one together."
"Shit," I whisper, knowing if the First Order's profiled me then the Resistance is only going to be one step behind them in figuring out who's been tormenting First Order patrols in the Outer Rims.
Which means Mom will know exactly what I've been doing out here.
"I still do not understand, you want to kill the bastards but left the only organisation willing to do it," Hondo says, a pirate but still a jedi and rebel sympathiser at heart, and like all supposedly legitimate former criminals running illegal operations, he's worried they're going to put his business at risk.
"Because if I shoot first I break the Galactic Concordance and every other damn treaty they've signed which puts the Resistance in trouble with the senate and risks declaring open war," I answer, frustration still thick in my voice after all this time. "Which I did and got permanently grounded to avoid starting said war, but thankfully it made me realise it's no fun fighting a cold war when I can be out here taking the fight straight to them without consequences, and the last thing I need is to be held back."
But I didn't just fire first, I wiped out one of their elite ground squadrons to try to find out where Ben is on what was meant to be reconaissance, to ask their captain where Snoke has my brother stationed. Except I didn't just ask and he had a nice little electric shocker in his pocket to stop me from finishing my interrogation. When Mom heard about the mess I'd left I wasn't just demoted from captain, but forbidden from partaking in any off base missions at the insistence of every single member of high command pending complete expulsion.
And so I left. Almost a year later I still haven't showed my face.
"Haha, you do come from that Skywalker boy, he liked committing war crimes too," Hondo laughs and my eyes roll back in my head, preparing to hear for the tenth time how he once fought the man who became Darth Vader and lived to tell the tale since the galaxy now knows that unfortunate truth. "Good with a lightsaber, although I cannot forgive him for killing my good friend Kenobi and you know, all the rest. But once I acquire the right weapon we must duel for old times sake."
I never thought a pirate could so intimately know two utterly separate generations of my family through swindling them but there always seems to be surprises. "So you can get your ass handed to you again?"
"He liked to insult me as well, although not as well as Kenobi," he remembers fondly and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't found his stories of working with and against Anakin and Obi-Wan interesting, to hear what my grandfather was like from one of the few people still alive who knew him during the Clone Wars. "So did your father, I'll never forget when I tried to steal the Falcon from him, I'm still mad someone else beat me to it."
My spirits sour at the mention of him and I pour myself a drink from the bottle on the table only to grow more bitter at the taste of the Corellian whiskey, then quickly put it down remembering another story Hondo once told me. "Well I fully intend to steal it back and if my father wants it he can come and find me."
Somehow that wound is more raw than anything that happened the night the temple burned despite the permanent scars it left me with. A father packing up and leaving because he couldn't look at my mother without seeing Ben, and he couldn't look at me for reasons I still don't understand. I'm sure he only stayed as long as he did because Chewie refused to leave me behind, until eventually Dad didn't care anymore and left both of us.
"A lasar sword wielding maniac with the knack for piracy is a formidable opponent," he acknowledges and informs me. "From what I hear he is keeping low, owes money to the worst of the worst, people not even I, Hondo Ohnaka, would double cross and that is saying something. But I have no doubt he would be very proud his daughter is giving him a run for his credits and has certainly made a profitable investment."
The thought he'd be proud of what I'm doing is the opposite of what I want, but the rest is hardly news. "What can I say? I'm the best pilot there is."
I'm not quite sure how I ended up as an investment for some of the most established underworld figures there are. It began with me looking in all the wrong places for Dad and instead finding old friends and foes of his who were quite curious to see what I could do for them. Being nineteen with no credits, my weapons, and a ship in desperate need of maintenance, I was happy enough to oblige them.
Perhaps I hoped working for the very people who'd betrayed Dad time and time again would be enough he'd track me down out of anger to smack some sense into me like he should have done to Ben, but no. He's a ghost like the rest of the men in my family.
Still, in this unexpected change of career path I've learned a thing or two about profit and have turned my transport, my dear Shiraya, into an armoured starship that could almost be called luxurious, along with my more recently acquired and heavily modified Naboo Starfighter that I make use of for the contracts Boba Fett provides me to hunt down the First Order patrols trying to interfere in his operations.
"Speaking of which," Hondo continues to try to distract from the payment he owes for the delivery. "Boba has a contract for you."
Now those are always good words.
"But first," I say and look at the kyber crystal knowing it could go for half a million credits even in this state since genuine kyber is so rare, especially since this one appears to have been used in a saber at some point, no doubt dismantled for parts long ago. "I want half of the profits."
"Oh no, you merely transported the goods," he says and negotiates. "Ten percent."
I hold his eye carefully. "Thirty."
"Fifteen and don't you try those Jedi mind tricks on me," he says and I just smile to myself. "Fifteen percent which you will receive once I find a buyer."
"Twenty five and I'll be coming for my credits," I promise him as go to head out the door to where R2 awaits. My faithful companion since I was twelve years old, my best friend, my only friend, although always eager to get off this planet since he has a longstanding grudge against Hondo for numerous Clone Wars era offences.
But he won't exactly like where we're going next either.
"Come on R2, to Tatooine it is."
~
The evidence of the recent Boonta Eve celebrations are still evident from the bottles on the streets and firework shells scattered across the sand. People are still settling their debts from the races as a New Republic news channel plays from one of the holoprojectors in the square and I hear the Resistance mentioned fleetingly in arguments over funding for the ever decreasing Republic navy. A reminder that I've never been gone from base this long.
For Mom's sake I held it together and threw myself into forming the Resistance with her after the temple burned, but when Dad disappeared without a word that was when I began to finally lose it. Mom and I had our fights to the point we became notorious for them. I'd run off for a week or two and stay with Lando, but eventually I'd always go home.
Until now.
But after what I did she was horrified. One mention of my brother's name from the First Order captain, or rather his new name, and I snapped and learned just what a lightsaber is capable of doing to a lifeform. Even if he was the one who took his own life they still blamed me for his death since they knew the First Order certainly would and feared retaliation. I'd previously engaged the enemy and disobeyed orders countless times, I was known for insubordination and worked alone in the field since we didn't even have enough pilots for an active squadron, so when they told me I couldn't step foot in my x-wing after what I'd done I was shocked. I shouldn't have been, I'd pushed command to the brink too many times to count, but the torture of an unarmed evil man had them debating if I should be removed from the Resistance entirely.
And so I made the decision before they could and took off.
But not alone, never alone as long as I have R2 with me, even if he has been difficult this past year. R2 complains the whole way to the palace, while he's loyal to a fault he has made it clear he does not agree with my choice of lifestyle. Even if I'm walking around with more credits than Dad ever did while he's in debt to the worst of the worst.
I hope that wherever he is he knows it too, that he abandoned his daughter to go back to the only thing he was ever good at, only for me to put him to shame.
I'm a recognisable enough figure by now as I walk through Mos Espa, the place Anakin Skywalker was found by the Jedi Order, a place I've now come to frequent having long ago deterred anyone trying to collect Dad's debts from me from trying that again, and being under the Daimyo's protection gives me privileges.
Perhaps Boba Fett thought it would be ironic to have Vader's grandaughter being the one serving him, or maybe he found humour in Han Solo's daughter being on his payroll, either way it's been profitable for both of us. He's getting old to say the least and muscle is a needed supply in these parts. Jedi have been myth for decades and the sight of Vader's own blood with a lightsaber is enough to deter most trouble, the rest I deal with.
"Solo," Boba says as I enter the palace that once belonged to Jabba the Hutt, my visions have showed me well enough what transpired here when Mom was his slave along with other unfortunate visions of my family's history here on Tatooine. Psychometry, to this day I still can't decide if it's a gift or a curse. "I have a contract."
"Hondo told me," I say and eagerly ask "First Order?"
"They've been patrolling well beyond the border regions and now they've turned their attention to my sector," he informs me. "I had one of my men string up a First Order spy we found in the city but we know there's more and I have it on good authority there's a squadron or perhaps more of tie fighters patrolling the system."
"I'll take them out," I say immediately and he gives an approving nod but stops me before I can leave.
"You know Solo, it's past time you accepted the offer of membership to the guild," he says, and while the offer certainly flatters me I know the consequences of formally making myself a scoundrel for hire. "You can start making real coin then."
Except it's far more complicated than that when I still have legal duties. Mom did not pass down her responsibilities as Princess of Alderaan to me on a whim, she did it out of necessity. When the truth about her real father was exposed she was ruined, the senate and her allies had turned on her, so with full faith she stood there and transferred whatever powers that title still gave her to me. They could force her resignation and silence her voice, but not mine.
"A princess joining a bounty hunting guild isn't good press for the Resistance," I say, knowing the moment my name is processed in the guild's database that information would be sent straight to the New Republic which would very much complicate any business I might have to conduct in the senate. Even if I've left the Resistance I cannot betray Mom's trust in me when it comes to those responsibilities. "Besides, its loyalties are too loose for my liking. The same as most of the people out here who keep trying to exploit me into paying off Han Solo's debts to them."
It's a miracle Boba Fett doesn't do business with the Empire's successor considering his loyalties were always famously for hire, but from the stories I've heard and those he's told me he has personal reasons to detest the Imperial remnants that the First Order came from, having made himself an enemy of them long ago. It's only because of the stories he's told I know there is one other survivor like me out there, although from a different destruction of a different temple many years before my own.
Mom would be disappointed in my current career to say the least, but I only ever take work from those who were friends of the Jedi or the Rebellion, even if they didn't necessarily begin that way. Boba is as far as that line blurs, but considering he turned on those remnants to help save a Jedi youngling that's good enough for me.
"I would advise you to remember princess that it's the people out here who were the lifeblood that kept the Rebellion running, especially in its early days," he lectures. "They were the ones who smuggled weapons and all the rest to their bases without the Empire intercepting it, without them the rebellion would have been over as soon as it began. Even the Jedi in the Clone Wars did business with our kind, your grandfather included as Hondo's no doubt told you. Like him I'd met your grandfather long before he became Vader when I was just a child, he was much like you are now and just as self righteous. The biggest difference between Anakin Skywalker and Vader was that at least Vader kept his mouth shut when he didn't need to open it, a lesson you could learn."
"I was trained to be a politician before I was ever trained to be a Jedi so that's not gonna work," I retort and he shakes his head. "And there's a very big difference between smuggling weapons for a rebellion and smuggling people for traffickers."
He doesn't like that response but somewhere a line has to be drawn. "Your mother might be high and mighty about working with us low lives despite marrying one, but I would have thought you'd be smarter than that."
"I'm smart enough to know the moment the senate learns we do any business with smugglers and crime lords they cut all funding and support," I challenge, still politically adept from my upbringing and time served in the senate. "We can't afford to make more enemies than we already have."
"We?" he repeats and I lower my eyes. "I thought you said you weren't part of the Resistance, that you were too efficient for their liking, which you are. You've got a ruthless streak that would make you a damn good bounty hunter, or a mercenary for hire if that's more your style, but you're too afraid of what your mother would think to fulfil that potential, or maybe you just don't have the backbone I thought you did."
His words are true which is why they sting, except for the part about having a backbone. My first instinct is to lash out in defence but I bite my tongue, remembering who it is I'm standing in front of. I'm certainly not afraid of him but he's one of the few people in the Outer Rim's I'm willing to work for considering he's the only one willing to pay me to go after the First Order. And maybe I've found a certain wisdom in Boba Fett considering the enemy I face. The rest of the Resistance worries about stormtroopers and tie-fighters, but I know there's a different enemy only I can face and what better way to learn to kill the Knights of Ren and Snoke than from a man who is more than experienced in hunting and killing those trained in the force.
Mom would be horrified, but I know they're out there and I know I'm the only one who can destroy them since Luke's run away, which means I need preparation that she can't give me while she chases a ghost.
"You forget my focus isn't on credits, but on killing as many of those bastards as I can until I get close enough to their leader to strike him down," I say and nod my head in respect to the Daimyo. "And that's what I'm going to do."
But before I can leave he warns me "I bet Vader thought he'd do the same, but he didn't have a backbone either."
Something in me goes cold, but if there's anyone who has the grounds to challenge me on Vader it's his right hand man. "In the end he did. He killed Palpatine."
"When they were all but defeated above Endor," he says and I try to keep my face neutral, having never thought the day would come when I'd ever defend anything Vader did but things change. "Anakin Skywalker was known as the hero without fear and yet he became a slave, from what I hear for the second time in his life. Even if he did kill him in the end he was still a slave to his master. I wonder if Kylo Ren thinks he's going to do the same," he challenges and my face falls, my throat tightening at the very mention of his name. "So it is true then."
My hand tremors slightly and I'm at a loss for how he could have that information, managing only one word. "How?"
"Vader's grandson conveniently dies just like Skywalker did during Order 66 and now a new Vader pops up as the First Order's enforcer," he says and tilts his helmeted head. "Educated guess. You know what they say, history repeats."
My body may be cold but I can feel something burning in me at those words, remembering it all, everything up until the moment lightning hit the temple. Seeing his eyes turn yellow as he raged with his saber drawn, screaming that Luke was dead and that he'd betrayed us.
Luke was his master and mine before Ben had taken me as his apprentice despite Luke's disapproval. I'd asked Ben to not hold me back and he did just that, something Luke never did. He was my brother, my teacher, and I tried to walk away from him and my training to form the Resistance. That was my final mistake that sealed what would happen that night.
And so my voice shakes as I insist. "He's no Vader."
"Someone should tell him that then," he remarks and leans back on his throne. "Because from what I hear he's earned himself quite the reputation, black mask and all."
I feel sick and without another word leave the palace with a purpose, knowing every tie fighter I take down is one less between me and killing their Supreme Leader. I thought I could never feel more horrified than the night the temple burned, concussed and choking on ash with lightsaber burns to my arm and thigh, only one of which I actually recall receiving, but when we discovered that Snoke, the creature that had seduced Ben to the darkness, was the mysterious leader of the First Order I watched Mom fall to her knees.
Whatever Mom believes happened that night, whether I'm lying about not remembering or have suppressed it, I truly don't remember what happened after lightning struck the temple, there's only flashes of screams and pain. Once we felt Ben turn we let everyone believe he died in the fire, no one would dare ask a grieving mother to account for a missing son.
From the start I knew I was searching in vain, for an uncle, a father, a brother. All ghosts. Luke can stay hiding in exile for all I care, but for so long I thought I could bring Ben back so Mom wouldn't have to suffer the loss of a son as well as a husband and a brother. So I wouldn't have to suffer the loss of a brother as well as a father. My idiot brother who became so delusional when he discovered who the man he worshipped, Anakin Skywalker, truly was. As at odds as we were, he was the he only other person in the galaxy who knew was it was like to be the heir of Skywalker, of Vader. To be vilified for sharing blood with a man we never knew, for being able to wield a power so many distrust. Now I'm alone in that.
For so long I tried so hard to do what she asked of me, but whenever I would step foot on Hosnian Prime to petition the senate for funding I would hear the whispers, the speculation. When a temple full of children burns to the ground and Luke Skywalker disappears people want answers, answers I couldn't give. Answers I can't give.
But when I'm the only survivor people look to put the blame somewhere.
It's only fitting in their eyes that it's on the blood of the Jedi Killer himself.
R2 beeps at me as we scout the system, I thought by now he'd give up trying to get me to go home but he hasn't. I thought when I left Mom I'd no longer have to look at someone who's afraid I'll turn into Vader, or my brother, but R2 has seen too much to not be afraid I'll fall as well. Except much to my sorrow I can hardly fault him for it knowing what he's seen.
"How about after this we go to Naboo for a little while?" I propose to him, it's only a stone's throw from Tatooine and where I've resided in my free time. With the Lakehouse all but forgotten during the Empire's reign I've found refuge there, having put most of my spare credits into restoring it since it fell into ruin. The Naberrie family had said it was meant to be where Padmé raised her children, and that all that was left to her she would want to be passed onto me and I do what I can to preserve her memory. For a long time Naboo was my home almost as much as it was her's, and R2 likes that idea, Naboo having been his home once as well.
The N-1's controls are engrained into my memory from my training and education there, having been the youngest starpilot to ever fly as part of their starfighter corps at the mere age of twelve. I'd grown up in N-1's as much as the Falcon, although I had become quite fond of my x-wing that no doubt still resides on D'Qar, that better still be there and waiting for me, even if it never saw as much action as I wish it had.
I like to think Dad would be proud of me if I could tell him that by the age of twenty I'd become a quadruple ace, even if those kills were achieved with contracts like these instead of with the Resistance. Perhaps he'd be horrified instead despite being the first one to put me behind laser cannons in the field. Any reaction would be acceptable if it meant I could just see him, but now I'm seeing another target.
"Here we go R2, you see them?" I say, eyeing a group of tie's coming out from behind one of the moons. "This is where the fun begins."
Even if he pretends to be worried for the sake of my self preservation, an override of his loyalty programming installed by Luke to keep me from getting myself killed, I know he loves this almost as much as I do. When a droid's been in action for nearly seventy years he tends to become more independent than his programming and I know he's missed being shot at even if he'd disagree.
"It's just target practice R2," I tell him as I prepare to ambush, taking a moment to see if the First Order's bothered to make any modifications to their tie's with the amount I've been taking out, having collected data from the wreckages, but it seems they're happy to keep sending them out as cannon fodder. "Let's see, take them out in the open or herd them into that asteroid belt?"
He agrees with the asteroid belt, and so do I. Tie's aren't as nimble as a Naboo starfighter.
"I count eight, should be easy pickings," I say and prepare to attack. "Let's get em."
I debate strategy as I come up behind them to ambush, my instincts tell me now might not be the time to play around and I have the nagging feeling there's more where these eight have come from and so instead of taking my time I fire the proton torpedo I've been itching to use right into the centre of their formation. The shot takes out the tie's in the centre with the exception of the flanking ships that scatter at the blast and sure enough another formation comes up behind me from one of the moons.
This just got slightly more dangerous now that they're the ones trying to push me into the asteroid belt, but only slightly. "Easy R2, follow my lead and prepare for a L'ulo stand."
After taking out the flanking ships I cut the engine's thrusters and pull up hard a fraction of a second later in the same manoeuvre that L'ulo taught me when he joined the Resistance, a manoeuvre he taught me could only be done in atmosphere, space is a little trickier to pull it off in but manageable with counter thrusters. The nose of my ship slams upwards to slow the acceleration of my fighter so the tie's behind me overshoot, counting ten in total that head straight past me for the asteroid belt, finding myself surprised by the amount they have to spare, but at least the amount I'll get paid will more than cover the cost to replace the torpedo.
Now to scatter them and pick them off.
"Alright R2, fire up those thrusters for me," I say and a second later they come back roaring as I roll the N-1 before slamming the nose down again and shoot forward to herd the second formation into the asteroid belt, grinning as I follow after the scattering ties, manoeuvering the belt with ease and by the time I exit the tie's are either destroyed by my laser canons or their own shitty piloting. The First Order clearly have pilots to spare but not instructors.
But in the heat of the moment I failed to notice the x-wing that had followed me through the belt and my heart stops at the realisation I didn't see it, a mistake that could have me dead if it was a First Order ship.
"The hell?" I whisper at the sight once I recover from the momentary shock. "The Republic shouldn't be out here..." It's then I take in the model of the x-wing and realise it's a T-70. It's a Resistance X-Wing. "Fuck." R2 beeps at me and I remind him "Who taught me to curse R2? I'd settle somewhere between you and Mom and if she's sent a fighter after me... no- no, she has no idea where I am."
At least I hope not.
A transmission comes through the radio as R2 begins to lecture me, a man's voice interrupting him. "Naboo starfighter identify yourself."
R2 feels the need to point out it's the Resistance, not so kindly suggesting we should follow them home. I never knew a droids patience could wear thin but R2 may just be getting too old to deal with Skywalker bullshit.
"Yes R2 I'm aware it's a Resistance x-wing," I say before answering the transmission and replying to the pilot. "No, I don't think I will."
He doesn't seem to like that answer, but plays along. "Before you get cocky are you aware you were just ambushed by a squadron of tie-fighters belonging to the First Order and that I came to assist?"
He hasn't identified himself which means he's impersonating a New Republic officer by ordering me to identify myself, most pilots wouldn't pick up on the difference between x-wing models, but I know better.
"I was the one ambushing them," I grin, a little smug I'd taken them out before he could even get a shot, finding his voice unfamiliar which means he's a new pilot who wouldn't know mine. "I'd thank you for your assistance but you were a little late."
His ship pulls up beside mine, close enough to see clearly into the cockpit, and I make out a grin beneath his helmet as he says "It's a shame, I thought this patrol was about to get interesting."
"I didn't think New Republic pilots were allowed to engage," I say since he's failed to identify himself and I want to see how long he keeps this ruse up, but I can't help but like what I see and tease. "Am I under arrest officer?"
I hear him laugh and study his face as best I can, finding it attractive and unfamiliar even with it being obstructed by his flight helmet, but my stomach drops at the markings on his ship and helmet that tell me I'm certainly not mistaken in my identification that he's with the Resistance, spying an orange and white astromech with him. "It's your lucky day, I'm not New Republic."
"Thought not," I say, continuing to play naive. "They aren't allowed to patrol this sector anymore so that leaves the question of who you are."
He continues to play along and I realise he's enjoying this. "Take a wild guess?"
"A moonjockey in a beaten up x-wing?"
"Beaten up?" I hear him repeat in offence and I can't help but smile. "Not everyone's got the credits to be flying state of the art N-1's so why don't you tell me what organisation you're with?" he asks, knowing I'm sure as hell not part of any New Republic starfighter corps if I'm attacking the First Order without provocation. "Bounty hunters guild or something like that, hired security?"
"Something like that," I answer before remarking "Maybe I'm just a pilot like you who's sick of those bastards and decided to take matters into my own hands."
He seems to like that answer as much as it surprises him. He keeps his ship level with mine and only then does it occur to me that my face could be recognisable from his angle since I can certainly see his, but he doesn't seem to have a damn clue who I am.
"You know," he begins. "The Resistance is looking for pilots."
I have to hold back laughter at the irony. "Is that so?"
"I was tracking the tie's that got behind you before you went into the asteroid field, counted fourteen you took out with those cannons, makes you a double ace, triple if you count the one's you herded into the asteroids."
"I'm a quadruple," I correct a little too proudly. "And that was easy work."
Somehow nothing clicks in his head which makes me wonder where the hell the Resistance believes I actually am for one of their pilots to not register who I must be. Even if he's a newer recruit I'm the daughter of Leia Organa and Han Solo, hell I was the best pilot they had before they permanently grounded me. People know who I am and I'm slightly offended he doesn't.
Which is why I'm confused as much as amused when he offers. "You're a hell of a pilot, I've only ever known two pilots to pull off that manoeuvre you did and I'm one of them, definitely the only other one to be able to pull it off in space. If you're as good as you seem I can put you in touch with General Leia Organa herself."
I can't help but look back at R2 to make sure he's hearing this but instead of laughing along he beeps at me to consider it, to go home.
"I know I'm a hell of a pilot," I state. "Best one there is."
"Well I don't know about that," he says and wonder just how good he thinks he is. "But I'd be willing to see what you've got."
The challenge is clear in my voice. "Is that so?"
Instead of backing down like a responsible Resistance pilot should he takes it on. "That's right."
He tilts his helmet towards me and I make out the stubbled face beneath the helmet, even obstructed I can't miss the stupidly handsome grin he flashes me and he knows it. Typical flyboy.
Except I might actually like this one.
"Alright hotshot," I say and fire up my thrusters, finding myself genuinely curious. "You know, I never got your name."
"Commander Poe Dameron," he says and it rings a bell even if I know it won't come to me until later. "Of the Resistance if you haven't put that part together yet."
I roll my eyes and even R2 has to laugh at that until something clicks and I very quickly change my mind about liking this one.
"Commander huh?" I say, realising he must be something then for a man who wasn't there a year ago to get promoted so quickly to a rank I never even held. It almost makes me bitter, nope, it definitely makes me bitter. Almost three years, there since the damn beginning and I was never even considered for that rank, then a new flyboy turns up and takes it. "You must be a real hotshot then."
"The best," he says and R2 begins calculating the jump to hyperspace before I can even give the command. "And you still haven't identified yourself."
"And I'm not going to," I say as I prepare to take off. "But I'm sure you'll figure it out Commander, give General Organa my regards."
He's taken back enough by that remark that I get a head start on him, my ship being far faster than his is with the illegal modifications to the thrusters and while he pursues I quickly lose him through the asteroid belt, getting far enough out of his line of sight until I'm satisfied before jumping to hyperspace so he can't follow and once I'm clear I realise my hands are trembling slightly.
Even if he has no idea who I am, Mom will piece it together if she hasn't already. If the First Order's profiled a rogue Naboo starfighter in the Outer Rims targeting tie fighters I know she has to have the same intelligence from Threepio's spy network.
If she doesn't know what I've been doing, she's about to.
And if she thought me engaging the enemy was bad, she's going to lose it when she realises what I've been doing in the year since I left base.
~
Poe
She jumps to hyperspace and I sit there purely stunned, the slight hit to my ego overshadowed by her piloting. I've never seen anyone ever fly like that except for myself, pulling off stunts I thought were impossible until I'd done them in the heat of a skirmish, and not just that, she pulled them off like they were nothing.
I've come to think of myself as one of the best pilots in the galaxy, knowing it's not ego or arrogance but pure fact. I know damn well what I can do in a cockpit and the results I produce, but she might be the first person I've ever met who could possibly, potentially, have me beat.
I should be mad about that possible fact, but that's the last thing I'm feeling right now, and maybe there's a few butterflies flying about amongst the overwhelming awe.
"She's something huh BB?" I find myself saying and shake my head in wonder. "Is this what love at first sight feels like because wow..."
No adequate words to finish that sentence come to mind and for a few more minutes at least I sit there stunned until getting it into my head that I have to tell Leia about her. For whatever no doubt valid reason she hates the First Order and she's picking them off like they're nothing, Leia's had me doing recruiting the past few months since I joined and I think I just hit gold.
I have to recruit her.
My heart's still racing from the encounter as I come out of hyperspace and enter D'Qar's atmosphere, asking myself who the hell she could be and what training she has to have to be able to fly like that. She has to be ex navy, or from a planetary starfighter corps, but even then I can't begin to comprehend that a rogue pilot who flies like that is picking off tie-fighters and hasn't been recruited.
I've gotta tell Leia about her and then go track her down.
"Another boring patrol?" Snap asks as I climb down from my ship but I can't help the grin on my face and the moment my feet hit the ground I can practically feel myself pumping with nervous excitement and so can he. "Get some action then?"
"Oh I wish," I answer and can't help but blurt everything out to him. "Thought I was gonna get some when I tracked some tie-fighter's trying to ambush a lone starfighter but turns out she was the one ambushing them. I counted her take down fourteen with my own eyes and when I caught up to her and asked her to identify herself she just laughed like it was nothing." I find myself shaking my head, knowing it wasn't just her flying that left an impression. "Let me tell you Snap, she's something else."
"So Poe Dameron sees someone blowing up tie fighters and falls in love?" Snap teases while working on his ship, half listening. "Sounds about right."
"You should have seen her man, the manoeuvres she pulled, she pulled a L'ulo stand like it was absolutely nothing and let me tell you when I saw her I swear I did fall in love," I say and can't help but gush a little since it's just Snap. "Brunette with these big eyes, the messy eyeliner you know." He suddenly stops what he's working on but I don't take much notice. "She's got an attitude on her and she's damn beautiful too, but that's beside the point. I've never seen anything like what she did in the field, hell I don't even know where she learned a L'ulo stand but she did it in space. In space Snap! I thought I was the only person that's ever pulled that off."
He looks over and clears his throat before asking "She identify herself?"
"No, she didn't," I admit, still a little mad she got away without identifying herself but she has to be contracted by someone in the sector to be taking them out with missiles like it's nothing. Hell I wish the Resistance had the spare credits to use torpedoes on tie fighter formations. Not that we're meant to even shoot at them of course. "But I've got another patrol in the sector in a few days and I'll track her down, she'd be a hell of an asset."
Cautiously he asks "And how old was she?"
"Early twenties maybe?" I guess and he nods, like he knows something I don't but my mind's racing a little too fast to think about that. "She was amazing, hell I've never seen anyone fly like that, except for me of course."
Snap nods slowly and slaps a hand on my shoulder. "Might want to mention that to the General."
"Already on it," I grin, maybe a bit ahead of myself but Leia's had me doing recruiting and I'd be neglecting my duty if I didn't follow this up, but I'd be lying if I said that's the only reason I'm excited. "You know, I think she was flirting with me."
He's visibly surprised and looks like he's struggling to keep a straight face as he says "Maybe not mention that part to the General."
~
The grin's still on my face as I come to Leia's office still in my flight suit but she hardly seems phased by the informal visit, if anything relieved to see me in one piece. "Poe you're back, did you find any activity around Tatooine?"
"Oh yep," I say and sit down across from her, practically buzzing with an excitement I haven't felt in a long time. "Two squadrons of tie's, I was following their trail when they were ambushed by a pilot in a Naboo starfighter and she took them out like they were nothing, fired a damn torpedo right into them."
"She?" She wears the same expression Snap did now. "Did she identify herself?"
"No, she took off before she did."
"Well did you get close enough to see her what she looks like or anything else identifying?" Leia asks and her sudden interest surprises me, but it's the desperate edge to her voice that really takes me aback.
"She was pretty," is the first thing that comes out of my mouth, even if it's an understatement, but I quickly realise I misspoke with how she raises her eyebrows at that answer.
"I'm going to need a little bit more than that Commander Dameron," she says with the fond but frustrated tone that's become familiar and I quickly try to redeem myself.
"Early twenties, brunette, wasn't wearing a helmet and it um-looked like her hair was braided," I start trying to describe and realise she looks a bit like Leia but considering I just blurted out that she's pretty I won't say that, that would just make things weird. "Fair skinned, human."
I can't quite read her face as she clarifies "So she was flying a Naboo starfighter, and did she have a blue and white astromech, an R2 unit?"
"Yeah," I answer in surprise and at the look that crosses her face realise "You know her."
A thought quickly comes to mind but I dismiss it just as quickly. I know Leia has a daughter who's a pilot, Leia's said as much, but from what I've heard she's at university and doing political stuff in the core worlds on Leia's behalf so there's no chance it could be her and besides, there's no way the kid of Leia Organa would be out there acting like that and taking jobs for hire in the Outer Rims. Well considering that's Han Solo's kid as well it's possible but still, from what I've heard about her and seen on the holonews she's more of a politician like Leia than a hop in an x-wing and blow something up sort of fighter, otherwise she'd be on base leading the wing Leia put me in charge of.
Still, Leia takes a deep breath, having to stabilise herself. "I know this Naboo starfighter has gained quite the reputation in the Outer Rims," she reveals to me and feel that cloud of grief that so often follows the General, hear the ache in her voice that's so common but this time there's hope amongst it. "We've been trying to build a profile and the information you've just brought me is far more valuable than anything else you could have collected. Thank you Poe."
"I'm meant to go back out there in a few days," I begin, knowing I'm not gonna be able to let this go. "She's a hell of a pilot and I really think she could be a great asset."
"So do I," she says without missing a beat, amusement written across her face.
"She said she's sick of the First Order and it seems like she's being contracted to take out tie's in the sector so I told her the Resistance was recruiting and she said to give you her regards."
She stills now. "You spoke to her?"
"Yeah," I say and her face changes. "She might have a bit of an ego but from what I've seen she lives up to it. I've seen a lot of pilots but I don't think I've ever seen anything like her, she was picking them off like they were nothing, pulling stunts I've barely been able to pull off."
It hurts my pride a little to admit that but it's true, she really is something else and I need the General to see that as well.
She purses her lips together and nods before asking "What else can you tell me?"
"Claimed to be a quadruple ace which not even Biggs Darklighter was but-"
"Not about her boasting," Leia sighs and I start to get the sense she actually must know her personally only to jump in my seat as she loudly exclaims "Quadruple ace?! How many kills is that?"
"Twenty or more," I answer and can't hide my concern as she puts her head in her hands. "General?"
"So you're telling me this rogue pilot has made herself a quadruple ace by hunting the First Order for sport?"
Not how I'd put it but I still nod, not seeing a problem with it. "Sounds about right."
"Force give me strength," she murmurs and asks "What impression did she give you besides being pretty and please use your head when you open your mouth this time."
I press my lips together slightly embarrassed, realising I definitely had the wrong choice of words there so try to make up for it now. "With the modifications to her starfighter she's got to have some credits to spare. Took her for the type to be doing contracted work to take them out since it's Tatooine and the people there wouldn't want the First Order anywhere near their business. When I asked if she was part of one of the guilds or something like that she said something like that and that she's sick of those bastards and decided to take matters into her own hands. Her words not mine."
She leans back in disapproval, but surprisingly not towards me. "Did she now?"
Before I can say anything else to put Leia off recruiting her I stress what I came here to say in the first place. "Which is why I recommended she consider the Resistance and that I'd put you in touch."
"You did?" she says and I realise I might have overstepped but stand by my decision.
"With all due respect General, you didn't see what I did out in the field."
"I'm quite aware of her skills," she says but before I can ask any more questions she waves me off. "I'll handle her, you focus on your patrols and have Snap fly a reconnaissance mission in the sector to see where those tie fighters were based, there's no doubt more where they came from."
"General, I can-"
"No, because you'll blow them up," she says knowingly. "That's if this rogue pilot doesn't get to them first. Thank you for bringing this information to me, could you write up a mission report as well."
She's frustrated, but not with me for once. She really does know this pilot personally.
I'm left with questions but the pained look in her eyes keeps my mouth shut and I nod.
"Of course General."
"Thank you," she says again, genuine gratitude in her voice.
Over the past few months I've been here I've felt the unmistakeable shroud of mourning that hangs over her as it does now, having become familiar with it from my own father. Except I've never seen such raw emotion in her eyes before, which leaves me wondering what history she and this rogue pilot could possibly have.
