Sunflowers are commonly associated with adoration, loyalty, and long life. They’re called ‘sunflowers’ because of their natural inclination to follow the sun through the sky over the course of the day. Even after the strongest and darkest of storms, sunflowers still stand tall and bright in many gardens across the world.
Dan always aimed himself towards Phil without meaning to. It started when they were young, when Dan was just a fan of Phil’s watching and commenting from miles away. Consciously or not, his whole world had changed when he’d first watched some of Phil’s videos. Through their late night phone conversations, Skype sessions that lasted hours on end, endless texting, Dan began to follow Phil like a flower grows towards the light. It was natural at first, slow going, until this boy -this amazingly wonderful and perfect boy- began to mean everything to him.
Their first meeting, Dan was the most nervous he’d ever been for anything, but when he saw Phil for the first time beyond their computer screens, all those fears melted away. As they wandered around Manchester together, Dan aimed himself towards Phil, and as the initial shock of seeing each other finally wore off, Dan continued to follow Phil like a sunflower follows the daylight as it moves through the sky. He realized, lying there beside Phil that first night, watching his chest rise and fall, that this boy truly was his entire world.
When the video leaked, their most personal and private matters out in the open for everyone to see, it was like all hell broke loose. Screaming matches were a daily occurrence to the point the neighbors around them in their building almost called the police on more than one occasion. Dan wasn’t sure if he could do this anymore, if this was truly what he wanted. Finally after a month and a half of near constant panic and no sleep, he consulted his mum about the situation. He called her and talked late into the night as he heard Phil pacing in his bedroom next door, and the advice his mum gave him stuck with him for the rest of his life:
“If you really do love him, then you have to do the hard work to prove it.”
Later on, during their roughest patch to date, they were still attached at the hip. Fights and slamming doors were more common than not, and their separate bedrooms were truly separate. Even still, Dan grew towards the light that Phil provided him. It was something tangible, something that he could hold onto even in his darkest moments, and for that he was forever grateful. Never once did he even think about looking at another person, because Phil was there for him in ways that no other person could ever be. He was there at the low moments and the highest moments of their lives, and it was during this rough patch that Dan realized he wanted Phil forever. He snuck into Phil’s bedroom one night, an official white flag from Dan that Phil knew he’d throw eventually. Phil opened his arms and let Dan settle in beside him, his heart overflowing with adoration for this boy -this amazingly wonderful and perfect boy- who had stolen his heart from day one. This was all either of them wanted. No matter how hard it got, they would weather the storm by each others’ sides.
As they grew up, they became more sure and strong. It was a slow going process, like roots taking hold in the soil. The growing pains were inevitable, and something they didn’t plan for, where more eyes were on them and they had to work out how to tackle this together. The important part of the awkward period of time right then though, was together. Even after the storm, they were still together. In Dan’s mind, this was more than he could’ve asked for, more than he’d ever expected from someone who deserved so much better than him. Phil was the light, and Dan was just following his lead at this point. With the biggest move of their careers coming up, it was Phil who guided him home, Phil who made sure that they were sure they wanted this. After the tour was over and Dan looked around at all they’d accomplished together- a tour, two books, two movies, three channels, nearly fourteen million people watching them- Dan knew that this moment in time was the definition of true happiness.
Moving out of their old apartment was a big step, a small storm they got through together yet again. It was a stressful time, having to hide such a big secret from fourteen million people and getting their friends in on it, but they somehow managed, and Dan followed Phil’s light as always. It was their first big show of commitment to the world, making their move so public, and even when things were tense between them, they never once got to the point they’d been at before. The point of no return was never once in their minds.
Fast forward once more, after they’d weathered the storms of life and were still standing tall, confident in each other and themselves. They were committed in their own way, and that was all either of them could ask for. Even after the storm they’d been through, Dan still wanted Phil, and Phil still wanted Dan. Dan still adored Phil just as much as he always had, and he still looked at Phil the same way he did all those years ago in Manchester, as if he were seeing the sun for the first time. Dan still loved this man -this amazingly wonderful and perfect man- more than anything in this world. He was prepared for a long life together, spent following the daylight through the sky like a sunflower.