And the bank turned off my old card. it doesn't work anymore. Can't buy anything with it, cant use it at all. I had to get a check to pay my water bill this month because i couldn't use my account number/routing info either for some reason.

So i called the bank up and asked "Hey, what the fuck?"

and the teller said "Oh that's a glitch. Very sorry."

"Can you turn my old card back on until i get my new one?"

"Nope:)"

And as y'all know I live somewhere rural. Mail doesn't get here in 5-7 days.

"Can i do Anything about this? I kinda need to able to you know. buy food and medicine and pay my bills,"

"Nope just wait for your card :)"

"It took two hours and five phone calls wrestling with the shitty phone tree robot that doesn't give you a number to press and makes you say it out loud. I'm a mute. Talking is physically agonizing, I'm not going to be able to eat today because my jaw is locking up and i don't have any protein shakes left and can't buy more because of the issues with the bank cancelling my card before the renewed one gets here."

Of course the teller didn't hear that because I'd already politely said good bye and hung up. But my cats did. And now you have.

"Mutual understanding" ? "Percy and Leo embraced" ? "Calypso pecked Percy on the cheek" ?

You're telling me this is how my percalypso ship ended??!?