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I got 9 rounds into 180 stitches of lace knitting with the splittingest yarn ever and realised I'd joined it twisted at the beginning and had to rip it all back to the start and I DID NOT THROW IT ACROSS THE ROOM WHILE HOWLING LIKE A BANSHEE and I think that kind of composure and self-discipline is very sexy actually.
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I'm gonna need to frog this knitting project i was about to finish cuz i realized it wasn't looking like the vision i had, i was really excited about it too, but I'm not mad about it, because i now know exactly what i should and shouldn't do. so this is your friendly reminder to frog that project if you're not happy with it, don't be ashamed, the error part in "trial and error" is just as important as the trial. don't finish it just for it to end up collecting dust in your closet.
Riding Ensemble • ca. 1820 • Silk • American • Philadelphia Museum of Art (1936-12-3a,b--e) .
everyone say hello to my awesome son.
from “Rethinking High Maintenance: The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Not Blaming It on the Fact That You Don’t Like High Femmes” by Bevin Branlandingham
published in Persistence: All Ways Butch & Femme, ed. Ivan E. Coyote & Zena Sharman (2011)
Backstage at a show I was hosting, burlesque legend World Famous *BOB* told me a story about how a (now former) beau had called her high maintenance.
“I called my drag mom and asked if she thought I was high maintenance. She said ‘Of course you are, but you maintain yourself. You’re like a classic car; if someone is going to drive a ’66 Caddy, they will. If they want a Honda, they should drive a Honda.’”
The rhetoric of what is considered “high maintenance” in our community is judgmental and unfairly targets femmes.
The definition of high maintenance I am working from is something, much like the aforementioned classic car, that takes a lot of work to keep in running order. This can be aesthetic work—makeup, hair care, attention to fashion—or emotional, physical, or intellectual expectations that need to be met in order for the person who is high maintenance to be running in top condition.
In the queer community, there seems to be a very negative value judgment on the so-called high-maintenance feminine aesthetic. There are hundreds of stories of femmes coming out of the closet only to be shamed into an androgynous or butch appearance because they wanted to fit into the lesbian or queer community, but femmephobic people called them not queer enough. There is nothing in my lipstick case that prevents me from being queer, and realizing that took an entirely separate coming-out process.
We should remove the value judgment from the phrase high maintenance, since it should have nothing to do with anyone other than the person being maintained. Everyone can be high maintenance in their own ways; it’s all just a matter of whether or not one person’s maintenance is compatible with another person’s.
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The great new year's FROG!! I love using the new year to take stock of my stash and this year I collected up some things that haven't really been getting any use in the last year, washed them and re-claimed the yarn!! Id love to do the same thing next year 😊
Friendly reminder
DONT BE AFRAID TO JUST FROG SHIT IF ITS SHIT
Doesn’t make you bad at what your doing, makes you strong and brave for being willing to try again
It also prevents life long regret
Sincerely,
Me - smiling through tears - who just frogged one fourth of her current knitting project 🥹
