#freethemind

“E dentro alla foresta vado a perdere la mia mente e a trovare la mia anima”

“And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul”

-John Muir

Part I - Background.

  I am starting off this blog with the main thing that’s been on my mind for the past two years (roughly). Part I is all gonna be about my religious background and what led me to leave religion, so I recommend you read this before any other post. 

 I was raised Mormon my whole life. My whole family is Mormon. My parents are hardcore believers, so are my siblings. I was baptized at the ripe old age of 8. We go to church every single Sunday. Every church session is three hours long. My family never really did Family Home Evening or daily scripture study together. I went to mutual every week (mutual is a meeting for teenagers to hang out, play games, and do church related activities).  I attend week-long church camps in the summer every year. I went to the temple about 2 or 3 times a year, since it was 45 minutes away. 

  I always kind of went through the motions of church, only believing in it because my parents told me to. When I was around 12, I started trying to believe it for myself. I started to try to find answers to my questions and really paid attention in my lessons and listened to my teachers. I never had a strong testimony, but I REALLY tried to find one. 

  In Mormonism, every one tells you to read the Book of Mormon, ponder and then pray about it, and God will tell you its true. A warm fuzzy feeling or peace is supposed to rush over you and let you know that it’s true. I didn’t get that feeling. Why not? 

  Right around this time that I read the Book of Mormon, I found a random youtube video (I tried to find it again but failed). In this video, it was people of different faiths, describing this warm fuzzy feeling that I was supposed to get. Questions rushed into my mind. Why would God let other people who aren’t mormon receive these feelings? Why didn’t I feel it? If I belonged to the only true religion in the whole world, why were other people, in other religions, getting those feelings? Does that mean my religion isn’t true? 

  I searched for answers to these questions on lds.org and from leaders, and I prayed about it,etc. Nothing seemed to ease my mind. Then, I started look at sources that weren’t church approved which is supposed to be a big no-no. I was angry with God at this time and I wanted to find unbiased information.

  Now after I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of church history and religion in general, I’m here. Writing this blog to hopefully help anyone else who is going through this struggle. I encourage you all to look at both sides of the story in every situation, use your resources,  and come up with conclusions on your own. Use your own mind and free thought to make you happy, and don’t let anyone take that from you.