#freefromaddiction

On the topic of forgiveness, in the 'home' series, I felt out of depth, as I had never really had serious cases of forgiveness. I began the discussion and then God took over. Two girls shared stories of abuse when they were younger and their struggles with forgiveness towards the abusers. It was humbling to hear how they were dealing with it and how God was healing them and teaching them to forgive.

"It is so good to see God’s hand at work once again."

My parents brought me up well and I had a good education, wise counsel and most of what I needed. As part of our national culture I was brought up with basic Christian values. I had every opportunity to go to church, but I rarely went as I found it really boring. I leaned towards the possibility that there might be a God, but I didn't think He was very real or alive. I didn’t give it much if any thought, and I definitely don't remember ever experiencing Him.

I ended up in London aged 17. Looking for a new opportunity, I started working and enjoyed earning and new freedoms. I stayed in a hostel but found myself mixing and influenced by the wrong crowd. I became very irresponsible, and started living a reckless life, drinking, smoking and in meaningless relationships. Things didn’t go well and I lost value of myself and my body.

I was searching for something, maybe acceptance and socially started taking drugs trying to fit in. Around that time I had a few episodes where I felt so alone and empty, words cannot describe it. I felt anxious and there was no one I could talk to. I found myself having panic attacks and walking in the streets completely lost not knowing what to do. It felt like something departed from me. I started partying and drinking daily, trying to find happiness again. I lost all sense of purpose in my life. Me and my family had become very distant. It wasn’t long before I ended up in physical fights, antisocial behavior and even been technically homeless for a while.

I found myself stumbling one Sunday morning into the dominion theatre straight after a night out, and I still don’t know how I ended up in there.