#freedom five

Milla: Somewhere between "it's an avocado, thanks," and "how did you defeat Captain Avalice," but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger."

Lilac: Probably "road work ahead."

Spade: Oh "is that a weed, I'm calling the police" for sure.

Legacy: Why?

Grand Warlord Voss: Because 2 weeks ago a member of your team purchased a star which happened to be my planets sun.

Legacy: I beg your pardon?

Grand Warlord Voss: Do not deny it Legacy, I have the official document right here from starnamer.com!

Legacy: Listen Grand Warlord, I can assure you that nobody on the Freedom 5 would-

Tachyon: Um actually Paul, I may have inadvertantly purchased their sun for Dana and I's 25th wedding anniversary.

Absolute Zero: Meredith how could you!?

Tachyon: I didn't know it was their sun!

Absolute Zero: No I mean how could you get Dana such a lame gift for your 25th Anniversary?

Grand Warlord Voss: Tell them what you named the star!

Tachyon: No.

Legacy: Do it Tachyon, that's an order.

Tachyon: ...wounded lover...

Legacy: What?

Tachyon: WOUNDED LOVER!

(Freedom 5 laughs)

Grand Warlord Voss: Oh you think this is funny!? Now every day my people have to say "Wounded lover sure is strong today", and "better put some wounded lover screen on or I'll get a wounded lover burn".

Legacy: Nobody is making you call it Wounded Lover!

Brianna Hawke: Oh yes they are. Don't worry Tachyon you have the best lawyer in the galaxy I made sure of it.

Tachyon: Regardless are you really going to enslave our planet because of an annoyance?

Grand Warlord Voss: ANNOYANCE!? Our world religion is based on sun worship! And now every day we pray to the wounded lover! Our youth have started to worship the moon! And not even the good moon!

Wraith: Let's negotiate, do you want money?

Grand Warlord Voss: There is no amount of money which can heal our planets self esteem! But if we receive... oh I've just received word that the rebels have overrun the capital. I must go. This isn't over! (Leaves)

Bunker: Well good work team, crisis technically averted.

The Wraith: Alright so the Organization seems to be-

Mrs. Montgomery (From Upstairs): Maia, do you and your friends want some snacks?

The Wraith: No mom we're fine! Thank you! So the Organization-

Mrs. Montgomery: Are you sure?

The Wraith: Yes mom! Thank you! Now the Organization-

Absolute Zero: Wait, can we just hit pause for a second? Was that your mom?

The Wraith: Uh, yeah I uh... live with her.

Tachyon: What? Why? Don't you run their company?

The Wraith: Yeah here's the thing... I started moving all my stuff down here when I was 15 and in college, it started out with just a fancy computer, but by the time I could actually move out on my own there was so much stuff down here that everyone would figure out I was the Wraith if I tried to move it.

Unity: So you live in your parents basement?

The Wraith: Look, it's not as bad as it sounds.

Mr. Montgomery: Maia I heard you have friends over! No boys I hope! (Laughs like a corny dad)

(The Wraith slams her head on the keyboard)

Bunker: How about we let Paul name it, he just named his kid.

The Wraith: How is Paul Junior?

Legacy: Welcome everybody! The buffet table is over here. Meredith, your's are over there.

(Crowd laughs)

Tachyon: I can assure you that was not a joke.