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opinion on Elva from the hit indie short film Tales of Zale Flickering Lights :7?
FP: I find her character... amusing per se. She seems dedicated to keeping her friends safe, but didn't seem too concerned about her sibling. I'd say that's rather idiotic...
FP: However, it is quite hypocritical to say that considering the fact I ignored the well being of my sibling for quite some time...
FP: But, putting aside my own misgivings, I find her quite enjoyable as a character.
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FP B&R anon. The coment of today is just. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW DARE YOU TAKE THAT FOR ME. That has been the coment for today. Thank you again for all your work Mei
ur so welcome
I want to stop talking to my fp solely because I feel like Iām always bothering them and I just feel like their life would be so much easier without me. I sometimes think that theyād be kinda sad but then I just remember that Iām not as important in his life than he is in mine. He constantly forgets about about me itās not that he doesnāt care about me, itās just that, he has more important things to focus on other than me, the inconvenience.
If it is causing you this much distress then I think it would be best to at least take a step back and take a break. Focus on being your own person and developing your own interests (Iām really struggling with that myself honestly but thatās because I feel the same way with my fp sometimes). You could look through my ref tag for self help/dbt if you havenāt. Thatās a good start if you donāt have access to mental health services.
hi so like my ex is my fp and itās quite upsetting for my current girlfriend? do you have any tips on getting over a fp? any help would be much appreciated āļø
So I remember doing a couple asks about the same thing but this is the only one I could find.
In addition to that post, you should block all of your exās social media accounts, delete all pictures you have together, avoid talking about him/her, if someone brings him/her up, change the subject, and keep yourself distracted. Remind yourself that there is a reason you are with your current girlfriend and not them anymore.
Hi there Iām new to my bpd diagnosis so Iām trying to figure out this fp thing. Can my fp be a group of people? Or can it be a person I donāt like but really want the approval of? I seek constant validation so itās hard to tell... thanks
Sorry for the late reply. Itās been hard for me to answer asks lately idk why :/
I think a fp could be a group of people. It certainly can be multiple people so it makes sense. I donāt think your fp could really be someone you donāt like. You may dislike them sometimes but, with a fp, most of the time the bpd person is obsessed with the fp and idealizes them.
You can read more about fps in a good post I made here
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Iām not sure if youāre going to answer this, but i have bpd too and i was wondering whether you can relate to/share tips on overthinking, itās like I see bits and pieces of āevidenceā and make up scenarios and ALWAYS fear the worst, i know Iām not being rational but i still convince myself of things that arenāt true and i jump to conclusions?? Any tips?! ty xx
Oh god I overthink e v e r y t h i n g
I think this is a mixture of my BPD, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD. They kind of feed off of each other which is always just wonderful.
I overthink about whether or not my fp is mad at me. I overthink about people being annoyed with me because I always feel extremely annoying and I hate myself. I overthink about interacting with people even cashiers at stores. I overthink about how people perceive me. I overthink about speaking to the point where Iām sometimes paralyzed and cannot speak more than a couple words if that. I overthink about how I didnāt tip a pizza guy 3 years ago (not even lying lmao kill me pls).
The main thing that Iāve found to help me is when I find myself drawing conclusions, I think āAm I drawing this conclusion based off my assumptions of this person or by concrete things this person said?ā If itās by assumptions, I try to dismiss it. It can get a little more tricky if someone straight up tells you āyouāre irritatingā or something like that while theyāre mad at you.
Even if rationally I know that Iām jumping to conclusions, I can often still feel my mood drop so itās okay to just let yourself have a good cry. Bottling up your emotions is never a good idea. All thatās going to do is cause you to explode/break down over something small later on or be passive aggressive.
If you have a fp and they unintentionally cause most of the jumping to conclusions, you should tell them to reassure you. When my boyfriend (fp) is mad at me, I typically cry, so he tells me, āI might be mad at you right now, but I still love you and care about you so muchā. It helps so much.
I hope this isn't weird but my fp is my parent, we get along super well and we'll be together for quite some time at least
if you have bpd you should anonymously tell me about your fp
thatās not weird at all, anon! iām honestly super happy for you that your fp is someone you get along with well and also that youāre so close to a parent!
My fp was really mentally ill and I was there for them every single day because they had been abandoned and I wanted to prove I was being there for them, so I wrote even though they didn't want me as a friend, they isolated themselves. Then they got better, and was real good, and I got even worse, I had different diagnoses before too but I didn't want to put any pressure on them. But they weren't there for me, when I was being hospitalised, and now they're sad again, I don't know I feel so bad
Ā Iām that anon with fp with mental illness, I just feel so bad because I want to be there for them but I think they donāt actually like me, Iām just a bother to them and a waste of space I feel like they wouldnāt care if I was no more like, I just want them to be happy and yet itās so exhausting to always be there for them when they obviously donāt care about me or want me there at all and I feel so bad for writing that because theyāre my fp and I love them
if you have bpd you should anonymously tell me about your fp
first of all, i just want to say that i hope youāre doing okay right now, and iām so sorry youāre having to experience all of this.Ā secondly, i know itās difficult to think about because this person is your fp, but i really think you should take a step back from the situation and focus on your own mental and physical health for now. itās not fair to you to keep ignoring your own health and basically setting yourself on fire to keep this other person warm and feeling loved when it seems like they donāt or canāt even appreciate or acknowledge that. itās not your job to always, always be there for someone and to give time, energy, love, kindness until thereās nothing left of yourself to give them. and for them to just keep taking and taking from you.i donāt know you personally anon, but i promise that youāre not a waste of space and you deserved to be treated well.. you deserve to have someone be there for you when you need someone there, and to be cared for just like you care(d) for your fp.Ā idk maybe iām getting too emotional about this bc it reminds me so, so much of what i went through & am still going through with my on-and-off fp but like.listen, if you ever need to talk to anyone or need anyone to just be there for you, you can come to me and talk about stuff. i promise to listen and always be here.Ā i hope things get better, anon.
