hi!!! so i have been following your YouTube channel since (checks calender) 2018 so it's been a while, and I'm a huge fan, just a lil shy (you're so cool holy shit, your writing is mind blowing, aaaaaa), so ANYWAY the point of this ask is, body back sounds awesome, might i request some more vibes perhaps 👀👀👀
Omg hi!!!! I could cry to learn someone’s been watching my videos for so long 😭 thank you for all your support!! ❤️ when people think I’m cool it makes me v excited because I’m really just a little gremlin IRL! Happy you like my writing & appreciate all the engagement!
Of COURSE I can send more vibes for BB! First, here's just an excerpt because I'm about to go ham under the cut lol:
The pool he floats in belongs to a young couple. The man works real estate according to the signs Harrison’s seen of his face peppered around the neighbourhood. He’s wondered if that’s ever humiliating, to constantly see pixelated versions of yourself everywhere. But that doesn’t matter. His wife walks dogs in her free time, which means always. Last week, Harrison watched her jog with a vizsla, and just yesterday she spent the morning on their gable-roofed veranda brushing a wispy Alaskan malamute. That was the same veranda Harrison passed on his way to their yard’s fence. Perhaps they wanted someone to do what he did: hook his boot into the crisp rung of their gate, then swing right over. Why else would it have been so easy?
More in-depth BB rambles under here!
CW: drug addiction, mental illness, violence & suicide.
This project is taking over me right now, which might be a way of my brain procrastinating finishing Seventh Virtue (LOL), but I’ve learned to just lean into the hyperfixation so we’re here now!
I really felt drawn to write BB because of this extremely complex thing Harrison goes through in Moth Work that unbeknownst to 17-year-old Rachel who wrote it, she reaaaaaallllly relates to now at 21. I've been unable to stop thinking about this since re-reading MW, because I somehow profoundly represented this experience at 17 that I'm now undergoing at 21.
Harrison is supporting someone who needs a LOT of help (at this point in MW, Lonan’s been an addict for about 3 years, is chronically depressed, is in a constant disocciated state, has attempted suicide twice in less than a year). He feels responsible for this because he loves this person very much--he WANTS to help Lonan. But I don't think he realizes how much effort this will entail and that he himself doesn't have the sole power to "fix" anything. But he’s so young—how long can he handle this before he himself breaks?
The answer is: not long! One could say Harrison’s fatal flaw in MW is not wanting to change. He doesn’t WANT to leave Lonan behind because he doesn't WANT to lose him, he doesn’t WANT a relationship with his mom, Suzanna. At the same time, his life is at this tenuous impasse: things CANNOT sustainably continue in the state they're in, but he's terrified of them changing. And by the end of the book, both of those things happen—it’s his arc. The loose end is the prior point: he's terrified of change, but now the change has happened.
What I want to do in BB is take that loose end and light it on fire. I want to show what happens when that change happens. It's NECESSARY change, but in this moment, feels like the worst decision possible. BB is about the in-between space of being in a destructive relationship & eventually putting yourself first. For Harrison, the experience is extremely messy. He craves intimacy badly but has no idea how to love anyone but Lonan. He craves independence but is also scared of it: how do you start your own life when the last few years have been focused on someone else's?
In Moth Work, he creates the beginnings of a relationship with a man named Jeremiah (to be clear: H&L aren’t dating in MW, they never canonically actually date unlike how I make it sound LOL, only in the Seventh Virtue AU are they a couple!). Jeremiah is a really interesting character in Harrison's life because he represents something "normal." Here's when Harrison meets him in MW:
The motel is named after a dead woman—The Greta Arquette. Harrison discovers this while absently thumbing through a brochure at the empty front desk. The lobby is decorated with vintage clocks and floral wallpaper and it makes sense—the woman it’s dedicated to died at 92. He’s on page six when a young man with an earring and a hair pick appears behind the desk.
Harrison shuts the brochure and slots it back into the display. “Can I get a room?” he asks, already fumbling for his wallet.
“Long ride?”
The clerk—Jeremiah, according to his nametag—smiles. His skin glows amber under the lanterns hung from the ceiling, and his hair looks too good for 2AM. The collar of his uniform pastes underneath his sweater, and it’s almost charming, this unnoticed mistake.
Wait up for my video later today (3PM EST!!) where I literally in-depth analyze a couple scenes with Jeremiah (since I talk more about this there), but essentially, Harrison gets a small taste of what it might be like to be a "typical" 21-year-old here. It entails dancing with people you think are cute, enjoying each other's company without doing anything at all, going to breakfast, etc... All things he and Lonan have never done.
In BB, I want to show the breakdown of this "normal" relationship as Harrison more and more self-destructs to self-preserve. He literally cannot handle this change he's incited--who is he at all without Lonan? He doesn't know, and he can't handle that he doesn't know, so he "goes bad." There's brief mentions of this turn in Feeding Habits where Harrison addresses he was a bit of a disaster when he and his mother lived in Las Vegas, which is why his main goal in FH is to "restart" in NYC (and it's why he also gets destructive again in NYC when his second reboot fails).
I always knew elements of what happened to Harrison in Las Vegas, but didn't know the extent. In FH, the only element we're certain of is when he runs into the same woman Lonan runs into in ch. 6 of Moth Work. He essentially ends up being beat up badly, which for him (mostly his mother, Suz) is the last straw and what makes them pack up to NY.
It was only later, when he stumbled, bloody knuckled, through their front door, stepping over partygoers and martini glasses, that he understood. He hadn’t come to the party thinking about Lonan but managed to attract the same people. He hadn’t drunk the magenta liquid thinking about him but managed to exit the house stumbling, as Lonan did, his knees knotted like a newborn lamb's. There was something inconceivably indissoluble about them—their bond mirror-like, one making a decision, and the other mimicking it with vigour somewhere else, unknowingly inseparable.
But I've been wanting to write what happened BEFORE this, in the time between, which is what BODY BACK is going to be! Here's an excerpt from FH (ft. Jeremiah) that takes place during this timeline:
They saw each other in brief, neon stints. Drinking in his one-bedroom, after Jeremiah’s shifts at The Greta Arquette—a dingy motel—clattering, limb by limb, under his Styrofoam disco ball and calling it dance. They knew each other so little but so well. Where each groove of skin and bone on the other’s body was, what limbs could notch so perfectly together, like nubs of old soap fused together.
The vibes are going to be pretty much the above! Mirror balls, pop music, drugs in misty rooms, eat the rich, etc.
I've been excited to write this story because it shows a side of Harrison I only barely understood when I wrote Feeding Habits. It's actually why Feeding Habits was IMPOSSIBLE for me to write, because I was still seeing Harrison in "caretaker" mode when he actually was rejecting that fully. I wasn't used to seeing him make bad decisions. For all accounts, Harrison is a terrible person in FH. He takes advantage of his mother's kindness, he disappears to scare her, he's self-medicating, he's inviting Reeve to his place under the guise of catching up with an old friend when he actually doesn't care at all about her and only wants to see a glimpse of Lonan's face, he's stealing from the vulnerable, and doesn't want to stop any of it. FH is really Harrison's destruction arc, and BB is going to explore HOW that happened--what triggered those events?
I'd always seen Lonan as the "issue" in their relationship. This was natural in a lot of ways since Lonan started out as a literal villain (lol), but also mostly because I emotionally related to him most back when I was writing him. ALLL my negative emotions and struggles went right to him. It's why Lonan was my favourite character all throughout my teenage years. What I didn't expect is that at the age they're at in this book (21), I'd suddenly understand Harrison on a very, very different level. This is also another reason I want to write this like NOW because I'm 21 and in a similar (albeit wayyyy less dramatic) era. Is this sort of going to be autofiction, maybe!
I think in MW, Harrison doesn't feel much like an "adult" yet. in BODY BACK, he KNOWS he's an adult, and goes a little too hard knowing he can do whatever the hell he wants. If Harrison can do what he wants, it means he can reclaim himself even if it means destruction along the way. What's he willing to do to get his body back?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
this is a random question lol, but what are some books that have the same (or similar) vibe to your fostered, moth work, or seventh virtue series? ❤️
omg I love this question!
I'll answer for the books that have actual comps, because otherwise... there's no comp because the books are unreadable LMAO (love them very much <3)
Books 1-3 (Fostered, Hunted, Resisted)
The Darkest Minds trilogy by Alexandra Bracken
I LOVE Alex, and these books kind of consumed my life as a kid!
Slated trilogy by Teri Terry
Pretty much the early Fostered books are TDM + Slated smushed together <3 I was such a Slated girlie, lmao
Books 4-6 just don't have any vibes, lmao!!! so no comps there!
Moth Work and Feeding Habits should have comps in theory, but I actually haven't personally read anything like them (though I'm sure books exist out there, I just don't know!). They're so niche in a way that it's hard to find a comp, lol! They are very much both like each other though!
Seventh Virtue
Lore by Alexandra Bracken
I realize now that this is just me expressing how much I love and support Alex's writing lmao, but this was the FIRST fantasy book I've read in a loooong time, and I read it coinciding with when I started SV, so it was super helpful for understanding the genre, especially since it's also contemp. fantasy and takes place in NYC! I'm thinking of re-reading it or getting the audiobook too since I'd like to revisit it!
Bitterblue by Kristen Cashore
This is an old favourite that I read when I was 12 or so, but I LOVE THIS BOOK! It's literally... literary fiction lmao, but fantasy for teenagers! I've read it so many times that I don't know the exact number. This is more high fantasy I believe, BUT the structure is sooo Seventh Virtue--lots of mini plots, larger cast of characters, very slow and ambling but in a fun way. If I could write this book, I would! Bitterblue as a character reminds me a lot of Reeve, haha. I just re-read this book in the fall, and I’m going to listen to it again because I just love it so much!
Six of Crows & Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
New inspo for me since I read them in the fall, but I LOVE THESE BOOKS SM!!! I'm so late to the train, lmao, but the Netflix adaptation of Shadow & Bone initially prompted me to write SV, so it's only fitting that I love these books! They both share bird imagery in common, which I obviously love, and there's also an ensemble cast. I want to actually read this book since I listened to the fabulous audiobook, but I'd like to get a stronger grasp on Leigh Bardguo's craft which was so good it made me insecure for the first time in years, lmao yaaaas <3
I funnily don’t have any adult recs because I haven’t read any adult fantasy, so if you have recs, especially if they’re contemp. fantasy, send them my way!
Also, if anyone has anymore questions about my books, feel free to send them because I’ve been having a hard last couple days, and talking about my book makes me feel better, lol!
🌽: How does this OC feel about acts of affection? What’s their favourite act of affection, physical or emotional?
Ahh, I love questions like this! It really depends on who the person is that's giving affection when it comes to how Reeve feels about it. She's a very secluded, private person, so would HATE being affectionate with people she doesn't know well, but when it comes to people she loves and trusts, she likes affection but has her limits and needs to control how much of it she gives/receives. She loves hugs (though forgets to ask for them often enough), and also loves hearing about people's happy memories. Memory is a major thing to Reeve in Seventh Virtue because her magic revolves around memory, so for her, it's nice to hear about memories when magic is completely detached! Those discussions make her feel very safe, which is her #1 priority.
For the odd OC asks, 🍓🍩🍟 for as many of the seventh virtue characters as you'd like! I think they're all so fun to hear about and love your videos
Thank you for watching my vids, happy you like them! <3 I'll answer for the main cast!
🍓: Does your OC have any particular scents they like? Or hate?
Reeve likes: cashmere, cinnamon, vanilla, bergamot, all things warm!
Foster likes: fresh cotton, fresh pine, rain, all things nature-y and fresh!
Harrison likes: coffee. Very much a coffee person (also cinnamon!)
Lonan likes: absolutely no scent ever lol
Darren likes: coffee (he and Harrison can bond over this haha), bonfires
🍩: What’s a crime your OC is most likely to commit? What’s a crime they’re most likely to get arrested for?
Reeve: would commit murder, probably wouldn't get arrested for anything even if she tried
Foster: is too baby to commit any crime at all!!
Harrison: is a self-proclaimed thief, haha, and is ALSO caught being a thief, so!!!
Lonan: like his sister, would probably commit murder (FOR his sister?? likely lol), and also wouldn't get caught
Darren: I am genuinely stumped on this one!
🍟: What does your OC admit to be their guilty pleasure? What actually is their guilty pleasure?
Reeve - guilty pleasure: beef jerky (this has been a thing since 2014's book 1 haha). Actual guilty pleasure: quite literally eating frosting by the spoonful straight from the tub.
Foster - guilty pleasure: LOVES plants! Will overtake his entire apartment with plants. Actual guilty pleasure: even though he makes a big fuss over his love for tomatoes, he's also like, a kale guy.
Harrison - guilty pleasure: emotionally unavailable men Actual guilty pleasure: emotionally unavailable men.
Lonan - guilty pleasure: would never admit to liking anything ever. Actual guilty pleasure: Harrison <3 loool
Darren - guilty pleasure: very fancy cookware (soft spot for cutting boards) Actual guilty pleasure: building himself secret hiding places to run away to lmaoooo
🎂: Has your OC have any contradictory interests or traits to the first preception people have of them? How do they surprise people?
Something interesting about Reeve is that she can be both DEEPLY empathetic and DEEPLY apathetic. We love a queen with range, lol! <3 I think both actually stem from her empathy, though, as she feels A LOT, and as a result of feeling a LOT, can feel very little for people at certain times (it's kind of like she's feeling so little A LOT, haha). I think she surprises people with her kindness, though. There are so many reasons for her to not be nice at all, and sometimes she isn't. She's a flawed person. She's learning. But she can extend so much kindness to even strangers, which I think is where her vulnerability peaks through the most.
🍻: What’s your OC’s favourite comfort ritual? How do they calm themselves down after a rough day?
Does staring into Darren's eyes count loool, because there's a whole chunk of this book dedicated to that! It's cute! Otherwise, she's a bath, wine, and candles girlie, and I love that for her! <3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
2. Did you have any writing goals? Did you meet them or not?
I didn't actually have any formal goals besides "finish Feeding Habits" (which was my literary fiction novel from hell)! I did manage to do that in June, which was great! I didn't want to have too many goals this year because I'd done a short story challenge in 2021 that created some rigidity in my routine (and I wanted to switch it up)!
20. Did you make any Pinterest boards, aesthetics, art, etc., for your writing? Share your favorite.
I've made a lot of art actually that I haven't shared on this blog (I haven't shared my art on this blog in sooo long, tbh)!
Leftmost: A digital Foster sketch that I adapted from a traditional sketch I did probably in 2020? I think this is my second piece of Foster art I've ever made lmaooo even though he's been around for years! This was to practice colour!
Middle: Quick Reeve shading study. Traced this from a Pinterest reference so I could take more time to understand how to shade in colour digitally. I struggle SO MUCH to shade in colour digitally, but I've been trying to practice more often.
Right: Angsty Lonan & Harrison sketch based off a scene in Seventh Virtue hahahaha (as you can tell from the blood, RIP). Traced this also from a Pinterest ref so I could practice shading, and this one was particularly helpful for getting more of a hang of digital colour!
Though I'll probably never understand digital colour the way I do traditional colour, lol, it's SO HARD but I'm trying!
🗑️Share an excerpt where a character is up to some embarrassing, unflattering, or mildly unsavory nonsense.
Kind of gross but here’s Harrison covered in vomit lmao:
“Fuck,” Harrison says, coming back to himself now. He is very much alive, and very much a human being with all of his limbs and what he now realizes is vomit all over his face and the floor of his ex-best-friend’s ex’s room. He groans, the bright lights now turned on in the hallway too much for his eyes. “Oh, fuck me.”
Darren slings an arm around under his shoulders and helps him into a sit. “That sounds more like you.”
🦁Design a representation of your main character using this specific
I have two main characters in Seventh Virtue, so here is Reeve:
Reeve! ^^
Harrison! ^^
I don't know how these are the most accurate things ever, but LOL
