#foster fail....................................

"I mean, he is an asshole, but he's the guy Jane married…"

First thing we hear about Tom Houston and we're already off to a great start. And you know what? They don't shy away from this fact either. They aren't afraid to make Tom every bit the asshole Emma and Paul build him up to be. Dylan Saunders comes out immediately with some of the most wild line deliveries I've ever seen come from Starkid (and I'm telling you there are some wild deliveries in their tenure) and it creates Tom in an instant.

He immediately greets Emma with distain. Paul with even more.

We struggle our way through this intro scene as Tom somehow successfully manages to push away his son, his sister in-law and local normal guy Paul all in mere minutes. It's almost impressive. The thing is, we know Tom has a huge heart, because as soon as we wrap up that scene we get his ballad. (The first one). In it we discover just how much he actually blames himself. How much he loves his kid. How much he wants to do the best he can for Tim.

The song itself is pretty self-explanatory. The lyrics spell out exactly what we need to know. What I want to focus on though is the fact that Tom's mission from the beginning of Black Friday is to get something for Tim that he wants.

The thing is, Tom has been told what Tim wants. By Tim.

"I wanted to have fun." "Dad, I thought we were all going to be here... together?"

This was about when I realized a core characteristic of Tom is that he is just not a good listener. Both in the moment, AND in the way he absorbs information. He has a very one track mind and it can be hard to persuade him off that track without him fighting against it. It's not entirely done out of malice, but it is important to note and something we see throughout the musical.

Anyways. Who do we meet IMMEDIATELY after this ballad? Who do we see Tom interact with next, right after a song all about how much he does care?

Lex Foster. Outside. Smoking a joint before her shift.

Tom knows her. He recognizes her immediately. And what's even more interesting, he's nice to her. He doesn't snap at her or shut her down despite her pushing back against him at every point. He's gruff about it, but he expresses concern about what she's doing, how she's doing, all despite the fact that he has been notably absent from her life for a year now. Another curious point here is that Tom reveals that he followed up on Lex even outside of his class and that he cared about how she was seemingly doing better in school and at home.

It's not much. He's not actively getting involved in her life and hasn't in the past.

But the concern is there. The worry is present. How do I know?

Once she turns away from him after the second denial that she was actually doing better, Dylan makes a very certain expression.

There's clearly something more to this relationship than purely the fact that Lex used to be an old student of his.

And here is where it gets interesting because not only is Tom nice to her, but he actively seems to both listen AND respond to Lex's accusation. He hears about how she dropped out and visibly looks guilty, his voice goes quiet. And while he admits it's not fair (it's not, she's doing it to hurt him purposefully), he doesn't disagree.

In fact, he doesn't fight her at all. 

His goal here isn't Lex though. He doesn't see anything more he can do for her. And the mania over Wiggly has just begun. After trying to use her to fix the one thing he still believes he has a chance of, he listens to her one more time and gets in line.

Let's flip it over and look at Lex's perspective here just really quickly. I'd spend longer on it, but I've already analyzed the hell out Black Friday scenes from her perspective when I broke down how she views responsibility (Ok, yes, shameless plug to another post there, but I'm really proud of it actually).

I mentioned earlier that she is trying to purposefully hurt him here. At this point in the musical we are led to believe Lex is doing this because she's a disgruntled teen who doesn't care.

Why would Lex have any reason to bite her tongue around Tom? Or hold back on what really happened, especially if he keeps insisting on pointing out all the things she supposedly is doing right. She already knows she's a lost cause. She dropped out because of it. She pokes fun at herself, almost daring him to make fun of where she's landed with her 'endless potential'. She specifically fights back on every attempt he tries at pointing out positive things she has done.

Lex wants Tom to give up on her, wants to hear him say it, because, in her eyes, hasn't he already?

We also know this is a unique behavior Lex reserves just for Tom because we see later that she does not share this pushback attitude with Frank. She lets him steamroll right over her. To tell her things she already knows about herself. That she's no good. She only fights back when he mentions Hannah because well, it's Hannah. Even then she doesn't dispute anything he's saying, just pushes the conversation past herself.

This first scene establishes a complicated dynamic between them. One these characters don't seem to share with anyone else.

Unlike with Emma, unlike with Tim, Tom lets Lex actually get to him. He lets her actually make him feel the guilt he is more than aware of. He is not mean to her, he doesn't raise his voice. He only sees the positives in her, even when she is standing there pointing out her flaws.

Lex doesn't let Tom believe in her. She pushes him away, shuts him down, pokes at fresh wounds in a way she knows will hurt him. Despite all of this, she still addresses him as Mr. Houston. She still gives him a respect she doesn't give to anyone else, not even her own boss, Frank. She still admits that he is her favorite teacher. She starts to follow him, tries to help him (to keep his car from getting towed), even after he tries to use her.

The next time we get to see these two interact is in the mall itself. Before the mania fully breaks the shoppers. It is already affecting the line, we can see it growing. As the crowd gets more and more upset, Lex steps forward, trying to keep order.

She is physically pushed back and when she is Tom has his first and only line of the entire scene. He steps forward, ready to interfere, angrily telling Barry to 'get your hands off her' But his anger is lost to the crowd's anger.

They won't leave the mall without a Wiggly.

Nobody else in that line, not even Frank himself, would care about Lex getting pushed here. In fact, it's not even that big of a deal. Especially not considering the violence that's about to break out immediately after.

Out of everyone in the line, we have established now that Becky is the one with the soft heart. She would be the one who would try and speak up about an injustice. An injustice such as a kid getting shoved back who was just trying to do her job. We see her react with distain and concern for Barry's action, but she doesn't speak up.

It's Tom who says something here.

Because, well, it's Lex.

These two go their separate ways. Lex gets hauled off by the cult and we watch Tom start to slip under Wiggly's spell. Despite that, the next scene we follow him in still does concern Lex. Because him and Becky stumble upon the people who attack, and kill Ethan. I mean, you really have to be a cold person to walk by a kid and not stop to check on him. Especially if he's bleeding out. But Tom recognizes Ethan right away, and it's not explained how or why. We know he's not the best with names. He doesn't get Paul's right the entire musical. We don't know if Ethan ever took shop. But we do know that Tom cares enough to drop to his knees immediately to check on him.

While it's very small, and honestly might just be because there is a camera on him and maybe not on Becky, there is a cut to him during Ethan's line. We don't cut to Becky's reaction, nor do we stay with Ethan.

Specifically the moment Lex is mentioned, we immediately cut away to Tom.

The scene passes and we see him grow more and more desperate to patch his holes. His lifeline to his sanity starts to narrow down to just Becky and the idea of getting a Wiggly for his son.

Then it drops to just getting a Wiggly for Tim.

After being told how to stop the chaos in the mall, being told her only chance for survival, for humanity's survival, Lex is left with a choice. She has to find the 'warrior of light'.

It's been confirmed by now that Becky is the warrior of light, and given her personality and the way she struggled to process what she had been able to do and Macnamara's appearance at all, I think it's fair Lex wasn't exactly thinking about following his direct orders.

Her main concern isn't saving the day. Not immediately. She knows Linda is going to kill her sister, she knows she can't stop her alone. I think it's fair to assume she was just looking for someone to help.

Lex goes to Tom Houston.

She asks him to turn around, to listen to her, and he does.

Keep in mind this is the same man who was so lost to the mania that he abandoned his childhood love. He went so far as to attack a kid that he himself admits is around Tim's age. He knows all he has to do is leave the mall. Wiggly knows it too. He knows he has Tom completely under his spell.

Tom has shown us that he has a one track mind. That he isn't one to listen to someone who might disagree with that track.

So why does he listen here? Why does he stop?

Well. Because, like I've said before. It's Lex.

She asks him for help, then asks him to put down the doll. Curious that he doesn't deny helping her, just refusing to drop the doll. It's also curious that at this point he hasn't turned violently possessive over it. At least not when talking to Lex. We've heard the violence in his voice before. He literally threatened to 'pound the guts' of Hannah in his previous scene, all to get that doll. (Just… uh nobody tell Lex that. She is holding a gun after all)

Here however? He's about as patient as Tom Houston ever gets. He asks her to leave him alone. Telling her he's going to leave no matter what. Yeah she's got a gun trained on him, but this is a man who is military trained. He points it out later, Lex doesn't even know how to hold the thing.

His reactions aren't fearful, they're not even all that defensive. They're tired. Frustrated.

It takes a bit, but Tom eventually listens to her. Hears what she is trying to tell him. Her words actually hit him, like they did all the way back in their first scene.

That's when we get his second ballad. A companion piece to What Tim Wants.

If I Fail You.

If I Fail You is one of my favorite songs of the entire franchise. It is wonderful. The journey of the song itself goes from someone lamenting how much he has failed, sure that he will do it again to resolving to keep trying and not failing. The chorus changes, just slightly as we go on this journey with him.

I failed you once and I will fail again.

I failed you once and I would fail again.

I failed you once but I won't fail again.

If I Fail You also contains my favorite scene of the trilogy of Hatchetfield productions. (I'd even go so far as to say series, but unfortunately the Yellow Jacket cupcake scene has my heart in a vice grip.)

The song's lighting is very similar to What Tim Wants. Which makes sense, it is a companion piece to his first ballad. The lights fade down on Lex standing on the balcony and it's just Tom on the stage. The journey begins, with Tom helpless under the weight of his own guilt. His son is once again the real focus of the song. Tim has been Tom's driving force, for his guilt, for his motivation. Yet he still is so achingly aware of how he let him down. Especially now. Especially after finally hearing that Tim never wanted a Wiggly. That he was told exactly what his kid wanted. What he needed.

And then, we get to the bridge. And we get one line that changed the entire musical for me. One line that sealed this black sheep of the trilogy as my unapologetic favorite. Lex may be my favorite character, but it's Tom that makes Black Friday my favorite musical.

She liked to loosen me up, just to get at my heart. She'd poke at each of my wounds, to see what I'd say. And now, she's doing the same…

The lights cut out completely. Only one remains overhead, to make sure Dylan is still illuminated. Then 2 flashes. The music cutting out for each one.

The piano starts up, quietly, before it begins to swell. The lights come back up, more so than they have in the rest of the song. Tom stands up, turns around to what they have illuminated. What he's able to see now that the flash is gone.

He turns around, to Lex.

We go into the final chorus. It's more resolved. He won't fail again.

Ok. So, let's break it down, just a bit. I'm sure you can already see where I'm going with this, but you've made it this far listening to my rambles. Why stop now?

Let's start with the line in the bridge.

Jane is the one he is referring to in past tense. We know this. There wouldn't be anyone else. We already know she is wrapped up in his guilt and grief and he mentions her earlier: "I was gone, long before you."

So, who is the present person Tom is referring to? Who is now doing the same, poking at his wounds? Trying to get him to notice her?

We know it's not Emma or Becky. Both have been shown to be extremely sympathetic to the topic of his current open wound: Jane. Emma has her own reasons to mourn her sister, but she shuts down Paul when he points out how much of a scrooge Tom has become. Saying it's understandable and that he 'lost his wife.'

We know it's not Becky. She wanted to go to Jane's funeral. It's the reason why she was pushed into attacking Stanley. She wanted to support Tom. To be there for him after. She wouldn't be poking at any of Tom's wounds, in fact in a literal and metaphorical sense, she's been dressing them. (These two are very cute)

So that just leaves Lex. Someone who has shoved his grief in his face, all to prove a point. He abandoned her due to a 'family emergency'. She knows his wife died and she already knows that he blames himself. Hell, she straight admits to it in her speech to him right before this. But she poked at it anyways. Dug at his biggest wound because she knows he can do better, because she wants him to do better.

And who do we see immediately after this line to confirm this fact? Who does Tom turn around to? Who do the lights illuminate?

Lex Foster.

And just like that, we finally find out that Lex is included in the wrap of grief and guilt that has been plaguing Tom Houston this entire musical. We actively see that she gets wrapped up in his resolve to do better. He won't let Tim down. He won't let her down.

That's his fucking kid too.

These two make me so soft. The way Dylan plays Tom interacting with Lex after this as well? The soft smile he has for her after he shows her how to hold a gun?

This man doesn't go back on his song or his resolution. He takes care of Lex (and Hannah) throughout the entire rest of the musical. He doesn't abandon her, protects her during the cult's song.

(Imma be honest, I mostly included this photo because I want to say alot of people don't realize they're still on stage huddled together in this moment?? I mean look at how Lex is holding on to Hannah, my fucking heart man...)

They escape the mall together and it's clear that Tom was taking both girls and Becky with him no matter where they run to next.

I said before there is a subtly to their story. It's one of the best examples I've seen of real human love and connection. Not once is this relationship ever defined or explained. We are introduced to them with Lex as Tom's former student. And Tom as Lex's former (favorite) teacher. However, that's not the full story. That isn't their relationship now and likely isn't where their relationship will return to either. Lex isn't looking to learn from Tom. Tom isn't looking to teach Lex.

It certainly doesn't explain Tom's explicit concern over her well-being. His patience for her that he doesn't seem to grace anyone else with. It doesn't explain why he always listens to her, why he doesn't shut her down. Why she, out of all the students I'm sure he knows he abandoned (he doesn't hold any mistakes against them after all), is the one that is so closely tied into his grief in guilt about failing his wife and his son.

And why does Lex seem to trust him above everyone else? Why does she hold such a respect for him, always addressing him by Mr. Houston when she calls her own boss Frank and customers 'dude'. Why does she know so much of his own guilt, his own heart, to call him out on the holes he feels like he has to fill?

They don't have to define the connection between these two and I love the fact that they don't. Because that's human. Sometimes, you just form a connection to a person. Sometimes they're heavily involved in your life and sometimes they aren't. That doesn't erase the love you carry. It doesn't have to have a label, doesn't have to be parental or mentor/mentee.

What we're left with at the end of Black Friday is only what is shown to us. Not told. Tom cares about Lex more than just another one of his students, and we see that because Tom turns around to Lex in a song all about how he's failed the people he loves the most. We see that in the patience he holds for her that doesn't seem to be given to others.

And Lex trusts Tom with her life, and more importantly, with her sister's life. Because we see her go to him when she needed help to save both. Because we see her trust him, even as Wiggly is right there in his ear. We see her beg him to turn around because she knows he will.

I love these two so much. I didn't even get to touch on how they are mirrors. How the town sees them in a similar way. Cold, messy and mean. How they have all the love in the world for those they care about. How they both struggle to communicate that love to those people. How their actions speak so much louder than the words they growl out to keep people at a distance.