#forced surgery

Chapter 8

CW: Vivisection, Forced Surgery, Noncon body modification.

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Febuwhump Day 4

Darius woke blinking the haze from his eyes, mind fuzzy, a dull pain throbbed in his chest at his ribs and he remembered. He glanced down to see that the burns had mostly healed, his skin a new baby pink. His gaze shot across the room to AJ. He remembered his frantic begging as the pain of the serum tore through him but then not much else. AJ was still completely out of it and the lab quiet.

When he woke again it was to find Dr Hudson angling a camera at his torso, a chill washed through him, he noticed Calvin was doing the same by AJ. They had both been moved onto the operating tables held within the room and the bank of TV screens along the wall showed numerous faces, eight that Darius could count. All of whom looked completely impassive, as if they were watching a movie. A screen was also placed in Darius’ line of sight, a split screen view of two bodies one with what looked like nails to the stomach. 

Oh god, AJ. What had they done? 

A further look at the screen showed lines drawn in a Y shape where the incisions would be made, with a sickening jolt he realised that he would get to view his own vivisection…… live. 

He squeezed his eyes shut hoping to block it all out.

Two IVs were inserted, one in each arm. As he watched and tried to disassociate he became aware the AJ was awake and crying softly. Darius strained automatically to try to comfort him knowing he’d never reach. 

Fluids began to run from the bags hanging next to his bed. The cold sting of the serum was familiar but he couldn’t place the other, after a minute he felt the weight of his body pinning him down. Dr Hudson poked at his chest and with utter dismay Darius felt the pain radiate there. Dr Hudson grinned then turned to address the people on the screens.

“Thanks everyone for joining today’s live medical exam. We have two test subjects. Subject One will be given a series of organ transplants to see the serums effects on repairing organ damage and preventing rejection. Subject Two has already had foreign objects left internally for 12 hours, so we will use Subject Two to examine healing speeds to different injuries to various internal organs. Any questions?”

“Yes”, a televised man asked, “are they conscious? Will they be able to feel anything?”.

“They are conscious, yes, we find it more effective to monitor response to the serum this way, but they can’t feel anything”.

LIAR, Darius screamed in his mind, Fucking bastard liar!! Although to the room he remained motionless and mute. 

Oh no no no no, he couldn’t have heard right, organ transplant? How many were they going to take? 

Adrenaline and the tingling of anxiety burned through him. This was going to hurt so much and he couldn’t stop it, couldn’t lift a finger to defend himself. 

Dr Hudson attached a number of electrodes and sensors, the monitor to his left lit up with readings. He picked up his scalpel, gave Darius a look that promised maximum agony and began slicing his chest open.

Waves of agony passed through his body, screams of pain and terror reverberated in his mind, trying to express what his body could not. The incisions went deeper, cut down past his navel and repeated again until tissue, fat and muscle were separated and the sides could be held open with steel retractors. 

Darius couldn’t tear his eyes from the screen as he watched Dr Hudson’s hands enter his abdominal cavity and began to push and pull against his large bowel. Part of it split out the side and pooled on the table. 

Air flowed across his exposed insides, gloved hands searched and prodded producing sensations that were so very wrong and completely unnatural. Eventually the doctor found the left kidney and began to snip away at the vessels and muscles securing it in place. 

Darius experienced the whole thing with vivid clarity. The tense pull from inside him, the pain of organs clamped out the way of the surgical area, the almost ticklish feeling as his kidney was cut away and the undeniable horror of watching it happen to himself. Unable to move or voice his pain, his despair, his pleas for mercy.

Stop, please, please, I beg you stop, stop, I’ll do anything…..just please don’t do this. 

Another doctor carried over a sealed case and he now watched as someone else’s kidney was stitched into him. It looked pale, not quite as healthy. He felt the internal pull of a needle, sharp jabs of pain as it was stitched into place. He hoped it was over. He hoped to pass out.

He wasn’t that lucky.

Dr Hudson finished with the kidney, took a full syringe of serum and injected it straight into the sallow looking organ. Darius could see the new flesh trembling whilst the doctor observed the process, red hot fire burned at the injection site as if the serum was trying to cauterise the wounds itself. Dr Hudson took endless notes, had another white coated man film inside Darius as he worked, narrating in a cold clinical voice the whole time. 

Whilst Darius floated in a sea of agonising torment. He hoped AJ wasn’t experiencing the same horror, though a look at the duel screen, showed multiple organs inside AJ being sliced or burnt, spasms ran through the other man’s internals and confirmed he was in just as much pain as Darius. And those awful nails were still embedded, only now one was being removed, rotated like it was a screw. 

Dr Hudson carried on, gall bladder, a section of the large and small intestine swapped for someone else’s. Partial liver removal. Darius withdrew into his head, tried to separate himself from the pain, the feeling of someone inside him, experimenting on him without permission, the humiliation and shame that accompanied that feeling.

Eventually it looked like the end was near, the executives on the banks of screens who’d be observing faded into black. Medical students came in to stitch him up, but not before poking around in his abdomen themselves, taking notes. And to his further humiliation, take selfies with him whilst still splayed open on the table.

Darius sobbed in his mind, frightened and hurt more than he ever imagined he could be. A new IV was administered and he finally felt himself slip into welcoming darkness. 

Dr Hudson, satisfied with the days results ordered them to be taken back to recover in their cells. With a pat on the back for Calvin as they exited and headed for celebratory drinks, the two discussed the success of the days work, leaving the lab students to wash the remaining blood stains away and prep the lab for the next round. 

………………

This was only going to be a small chapter and I got carried away!

………….

@febuwhump @notlikeothernurses @secretlythegodofdesire @frankieronny @stars-hide-our-fires @sondersunbeams @macknus @chaotic-orphan @hueningplushie @sunrise-lemon-bar @vivisectedboy @vivisectophile

(OP is an intersex transmasc and uses all neutral pronouns including neos)

today I cried because I just want to be normal

I don't want my differences to go away. I just want to stop being treated as a subhuman freak of nature.

I just wanna exist as an intersex person without being forced by my mother to have genital altering surgeries to make me able to have heterosexual penis in vagina sex

I just wanna exist as an intersex person without being called gross for body features that are naturally on my body

I just wanna exist as a transmasc and not have people invalidate my identity or tell me I'm the cause of misogyny or that im a traitor

I wanna exist as an mspec lesbian without people telling me I'm invalidating lesbians or preying on women or lying

at first it seems J.Lo is threatened with death, just like some moments in the first book, but then, Smek reveals, quite gleefully, that he has in mind a punishment that, to me, seems much worse: a removed voicebox. so that's: nonconsensual surgery (intrusive, scary), public humiliation for a fatal mistake he made, an obstacle to his self-expression( & harder to get his needs met), his loved ones never hear his voice again, plus he gets a prison sentence. i imagine losing his voice would strip him of a part of his identity too.

and he seems quite passionate about language learning. he's learned english speech and is learning to read and write- maybe there are more languages he wants to learn. like italian or something.

I had to to fight (and still have to) to claim my femininity and my masculinity.

And for some reason a few perisex trans people decided it's ok to shit on us with sentences like "you're not actually trans", " you have an unfair advantage" while others say "i wish i was intersex too so i had an easier transition".

Yes, for some people some parts of a transition might be easier.

But not for all of us. And having to undo what doctors did to a lot of us with unnecessary surgeries on our genitals and forced HRT as kids is not a privilege. It's medical abuse and malpractice.

A baby/child cannot consent to these practices.

I for sure did not and would not have consented.

Even in cases where some of us had the later preferred optics of their bottom parts already forced on them right after birth that doesn't mean they function properly.

I experience pain and/or discomfort most of the time and it gets worse whenever I get an erection. Not that I'm able to have one at all 50% of the time and even then I can only hope it lasts.

To me being intersex is part of my identity and i wouldn't change that if I could. I just wish doctors wouldn't have done what they did to me and that perisex people would stop only talking about or over us instead of talking with us.

We as a group of people don't have it automatically better or worse than others.

We don't have privilege or an unfair advantage over perisex trans people.

We're just people who struggle for freedom and equality like everyone else

So pls, start actually listening to us instead of treating us like shit.

And if you consider yourself an ally to intersex people pls speak up and educate others whenever you see other perisex people being intersexist or simply ignorant.