It takes one person in your life, whom you haven't seen in years to bring you back to life. They shock your body and wake the dead from within you. For the past couple of days, I’ve been in a dark area, that even the brightest of flashlight could find the person that I once was. However, I rekindle my relationship with a girl; I use to work with many eons ago. Therefore, when she asked me to come to a club to celebrate her friend’s birthday, I told myself “Sure, it’s not like I have anything better to do”! Nevertheless, that night made me see, that whatever going on in you sad so-called-life, it doesn’t really matter when you are surrounded by people. Whom you may not have seen for years but when you do, it’s as things never changed and they just enhance your night and basically your life 10 times better, and for that I’m grateful for her and that amazing, crazy, memorable night!

While most of the time it sucks to be lonely, sitting your waste of thoughts and asking yourself “Why me?”. Sometimes, that self-loathing inside of you, that turns into the lonesome person that you’ve become. Can be a sign that you need to be by yourself, you should sit in a comfortable spot in your own world or room, and really think about what’s good with you and the thought that come into your mind, like an unwanted parent, opening your bedroom down unannounced. When you really think about it being by yourself is somewhat a good thing, because it gives you space from total shit, you don’t want to deal with. You can just still there all by yourself and enjoy the fact, that it’s ok to be alone and not always be surrounded by people. You can really get to know yourself better if you really wanted to, but how can you when you cannot even be with people and still feel lonely. Therefore, before trying to see if you can handle being with a crowd of people and pretending to be ok, take care of you and see what you alone can do and handle.

I once thought that I was some kind of invincible bitch, watching those basic bitches from the top of my castle. Slowly, those peasants got tired of my bullshit, opened to door to my kingdom and tried to get of me and my smug facade, that I built hard to perfect. However, once the basic villagers from the country that once was controlled by me knew was just an act and nothing else. I was stripped of my titled and kicked out of my castle. In doing so, I was made a laughing stock for all to see. Without the person I once was, I had nothing to prove or nothing to believe, because it was removed from my being. You think this would make me crawl into a cave and call it a long night sleep, but this bitch has other trick up her sleeve. Little by little, I regain who I was, but the only difference is that, I don’t have to act like my shit doesn’t shit to prove that I’m better then he or she. Knowing that inside of you and having this confidence to have people looking at you, without the stink eye attached to your back. Can be the best feeling in the world, because they just wonder “What so different about you?” You don’t have to answer just go walk away and go back where you came from, that castle that is so rightfully yours!

I’ve never claimed to be a good person nor have I never talked shit about others. However, the difference between me and those other people, is that I have the balls to tell you how I feel to your face. Instead of whispering it to someone, like the sad pathetic person you are. When gossiping about other humans to a bunch of haters. They tend to just twist your words around and make it into something much worse than it is. You can talk shit about me all you want, but when it comes to my family and the things that I love to do. Then guess what? I’m not one to shy away from confronting you to your smug face. I’m a dreamer with many dreams, which I want to accomplish someday soon. Therefore, when someone says that I’m wasting my time, with this blog and these pictures, that I enjoying doing so much. It really hurts me, but even more so, it just pisses me the fuck off. I’ve never asked for anybody opinion on anything concerning this blog, and I’m not about to start either. If you like, what I do, than thank you very much and keep on enjoying the show. However, if you don’t then that’s also fine. Change the channel and leave my station alone! Nevertheless, don’t be a bitch about it and start talking about me and my loves, like you have the authority to do so. Better yet! Don’t go talking shit about me to others, who at the end of the day are going to tell me, what you spewed out of your mouth. The point of this soliloquy is simply really. Just keep your mouth shut and keep my name out of your mouth! Carry on!

Sometime, I wonder, What if? What if anything in my life would actually turn out good? Would I still be happy or would I still have this unshakable depression. I mean, maybe some money and fashionable clothes would make my depression look better, but that shit won’t make it go away. It’ll just me more depressed because even, if I have everything in the world, I’ll still be in this dark mood. My mood ring probably would be dark, because surrounding myself with beautiful things doesn’t make my world go round. If I’m not right in the head or in myself, money might make the world go round but it’s also the root of all evil, and right now I don’t need evil in my life. I just need positive vibe, with positive people, who are will to share there good vibes with me.

I’m not a big label whore! Don’t get me wrong I love me some labels, but let’s be honest, I can’t afford any of the goodies, that I so want to covet! I can’t even afford the labels, that are sewed into the pieces! I would love to make it rain at Givenchy or Gucci without a care in the world, but guess what? I do care because I’m not made out of money. I actually have to save my pesos a couple months in advance, to get one of my favorite designers prize winning items. In addition, after I get my hands said item, you best believe that I would worship that object forever! I’ll be like Hugo the abominable snow man ” I will hug it and pet it and squeeze it. However, until then, I’ll just stay with my high and low (very low actually) aesthetic, because there’s nothing wrong with looking good at a much cheaper price. No matter what most magazines brainwash you into believing. It’s a harsh superficial world out there, but you can always conquer it, matter what labels you own or not!