#fnym

flickers, flickers

a code maybe

from another dimension

to another time

maybe it’s a ghost

haunting the first floor apartment

The light it flickers

flickers, flickers

one beat, two beat , three

it’s a weird rhythm

maybe it’s Morse

a SOS for help

static static static

it flickers, flickers

flickers, on & off

on/off/on/off/on/off

I just wanna reach out

flick it off

making it stop

I just wanna reach out

and just,

poff

let it out of its misery

-

It flickers,

flickers, flickers

and I

cannot

do

anything

I still keep the note

Your note

It has your handwriting on it

And I’m weak

I can’t throw out this last piece of you

Even if I should

So it follows me

From apartment to apartment

Life to life

Year after year

Even if it’s ages ago we last spoke

Ages ago since I last saw you

Ages ago I cut you out

I just can’t cut this tie

- sever if fully

I’m weak like that

It’s just a small remnant

A piece of paper

Three words

Once important

Still important

Different reason

Not valid anymore

I almost not remember

But I do

I do

I do remember

-

Never the good parts

Never those

Just how you hurt me

Just how you hurt me the last time

I pretended it didn’t mean anything

When it meant everything

I did pretend

And I think you still don’t know

But the difference is you don’t need to know

Not now

Not now because we aren’t in each other’s life anymore

It’s just me

Sitting here

Having a hard time

Letting go

At last

-

I still keep a note

A green post-it

Three handwritten words

“For your poems”

.

And every time I move

I find it

I look at it

Closing my eyes

I remember

A bittersweet smile on my lips

And then,

I keep it

Forgetting about it

.

.

.

.

Until the next time I move

.

.

Just like always

the same the same the same

an ongoing masterpiece

nothing ever changes

but for a moment

I thought, just for a moment

that all my days would begin with you

and all my days would end with you as well

but I was wrong

oh so wrong

you were already on your way

somewhere else

took a shortcut

from the main road

left me

left me fending for myself

and now I watch the sun alone

how it rises and how it goes back to sleep

an ongoing masterpiece

all is the same

like it always has been

for you,

but it doesn’t really matter

just that I’m good enough

like being bound to a comet

to hang out with you

you are everything

all at once

and fast, faster than light

then outburned, cold

you are dizziness

and chocolate flavor

old as time

and still young at heart

a contradiction

I can’t keep up with

not when I’m mearly

the tail to your comet

failing around

around around your orbit

trying my best to keep up

it’s exhausting

believe me

but I live for that chase

for the action

you always bring

for the thunderstorm

you always are

I’m standing in the middle

in the eye of your storm

and just hoping

I’m waterproof

and have the strength

to hold on

to your hand

when we disappear

into the night

faster faster faster

as the merry go round

you make me feel

alive though

when hanging with you

and I would never trade it

for anything else

that’s just how we are

I had been walking for awhile

Watching the scenery

And I thought to myself

I recognize that tree

And that bush

And that quaint little house

I realized I had walked down

A long forgotten path

I realized I had been there before

As I found myself outside a door

An old green door

A door to a house

I vaguely remembered

At the end of a road

A road of memories

The house at the end of the road

It was your house

It was the house

Where I put you

After your were gone

It was the house

Where I put all the memories

Of you

All the memories

All the memories I owned

All the memories of you

I remembered the place

The purpose of it

To help me remember you

To remind myself of you

To not forget

Everything you

A special place

At the end of the road

Deep down in the woods

In a special corner

Of the world

In my heart

A place for you

A place for you only

Love

Deep down into the woods

At the end of the road

Called Memory Lane

There is a house

A quaint little house

With an old green door

Sometimes I go there to visit

It’s only inhabitant

I know it was a long time since last

But sometimes it’s hard to go there

To find the way

The woods are too thick

Or the road never ends

The door is red

Or the house is not there

Not there at all

But sometimes I go

To visit the house

And even before I knock on the door

You are standing there

On the porch

With a smile on your face

And says,

Welcome back,

The mystery that is you?

I will never solve that one.

You are an enigma.

A puzzle inside a puzzle.

It is not that I have not tried.

Because I have.

You are just unsolvable.

And that is okey.

It really is.

That way, I will always find new things.

About you.

That makes me fall.

Some more.

In love.

With you.