The Barracks Emperors: Part Four (268-284)
27. Claudius Gothicus (268-270) - Proclaimed emperor by his troops, and allegedly could knock out a horse's teeth with one punch, he originated as a barbarian and worked his way up through the army. He was a badass soldier, winning the battle of Naissus (along with his cavalry commander, the future Aurelian), which smashed the Goths for a century. He died of smallpox in 270.
28. Quintillus (270) - ruled from 17 days to six months. May have been murdered by his own soldiers, may have committed suicide. He was elevated after the death of his brother, Claudius Gothicus, but the Danube legions were for Aurelian.
29. Aurelian (270-5) - Claudius' former cavalry commander, Aurelian essentially helped end the crisis of the third century (huzzah!), smashing the northern Germanic tribes, bringing the eastern provinces back into the empire after destroying the Palmyrene empire, conquering the Gallic Empire, and building Rome's Aurelian Walls (which are incredibly cool). He was murdered by a conspiracy apparently organised by one of his secretaries, who feared punishment after a minor lie. There is some evidence that his wife, Ulpia Severina, ruled for a time after his death.
30. Tacitus (275-6) - Chosen by the senate to succeed Aurelian, he was the last emperor to ever be chosen by them. He either died of fever on the way to deal with an invasion of Gaul... or was assassinated.
31. Florianus (276) - Chosen by the army to succeed Tacitus, his half-brother. Assassinated by his own troops after eighty eight days.
32. Probus (276-82) - Also chosen by the army. At the same time. He was assassinated... by... his own troops. He minted some pretty neat coins with Sol Invictus on them. One awesome thing he did was starting to settle defeated Germanic tribes in the devastated provinces of the empire.
33. Carus (282-3) - Proclaimed emperor by the troops, he went off shortly to fight the Sassanids, winning some significant victories. He was killed either by disease, lightning, or a campaign wound.
34. Carinus (282-5) - Appointed co-caesar by his father Carus, after his brother Numerian's death and Diocletian's rise, he was - allegedly - assassinated by a tribune whose wife he had seduced. Or his army deserted him and he committed suicide, your pick.
35. Numerian (282-4) - Headed for Rome after the death of his father, but died incredibly mysteriously enroute - and may indeed have been dead for some time when his body was discovered in his coach...
OH HEY. Next emperor on our list is Diocletian!!! We have OFFICIALLY reached the end of the barracks emperors. Next time: The Tetrarchy.