#flash imagines

“You’re gonna end up getting yourself killed, Y/N.” His voice carried a certain kind of harshness that he only ever used with me, a tone that was always sure to cause silence to fall over the Star Labs group as we walked in. Before I joined the team it was rare to ever hear Barry raise his voice, yet my arrival had made it a rather common thing. 

“Ya know, a thank you would suffice Barr.” The sight of my snarky smile was most definitely enough to power Barry up for another one of super-lectures, but Cisco cut him off before he even had the chance to open his mouth. 

“Think you guys could give it a rest for one night?” He proposed, moving slightly to stand in-between Barry and I. 

It only took a glance around the room to see that the entirety of Team Flash had become quickly frustrated with our regular outbursts. It was hard to blame them really. After all, it was at least once or twice a week that Barry and I were bursting through the doors chewing each others heads off about something new. 

Barry let out a sigh, clearly still frustrated and not fully willing to follow Cisco’s suggestion. “I just don’t get it. It’s like you think you are made of steel or something, Y/N. Or like you are just immune to everything. You are constantly putting yourself in the middle of danger and one of these days I’m not gonna be fast enough to save you!” 

“Did you ever think that I don’t need you to save me?” I remarked. “I’ve saved my own ass more than once, haven’t I? I’ve only been here a couple of months and I’ve already done my fair share of putting up with the bad guys and ya know what Barr? I always make it out! Even when you aren’t there!” 

Once again the all-too-familiar silence fell over the lab as everyone tried desperately to get rid of the tension that Barry and I brought to the room. Cisco was the first to open his mouth, probably to offer up another bit about how the two of us needed to stop fighting and just enjoy our win for the night, but before he could even get his first word out Barry had already beat him to it. 

“Okay. I get it.” Barry held his hands up in defense despite the exasperated expression that still painted his face. “I’ll stop trying to save you.” 

And with that the speedster was quick to bring his most annoying habit to light once again as he dashed out of the room before anyone could say another word to him. Typical I thought, shaking my head while staring at the spot where he took residence just mere seconds ago. 

After a moment my gaze shifted to Cisco, who was still standing in front of me. I couldn’t quite pin what his expression was trying to say, but it looked a bit like disappointment. “What?” I asked, confused as to how I was the one deserving of that look. 

“You don’t have to be so hard on the guy, Y/N.” 

I scoffed, “Me? He treats me like I’m made of glass, Cisco. I’m tired of him always seeing me as so much weaker than the rest of you guys. I did the same thing today that any of you would have and yet I’m the only one that he would humiliate in front of the whole team for not being able to take care of myself.” 

What I said wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t like I had been purposely seeking out danger anyways. I was already at Jitters when the man came in, armed and making it more than clear that he was willing to fire if anyone acted against him. Even when Barry arrived I had stayed out of it, up until it came down to someone’s life being at risk. I could see the look on the mans face as he held that man hostage, gun pointed to his head and ready to shoot at Barry’s slightest move. I was in a good position to gain the mans attention from behind and so I did, allowing Barry the chance he needed to save a life and take the gun. And, of course, no one could argue. Not Cisco, not Caitlin, and not Iris. Because every single one of them had been in a similar position before and all of us had put ourselves in harms way to try to help someone else. But I was the only one that had to deal with Barry’s attitude afterwards. 

“Look,” Caitlin began, walking up and placing a hand on my shoulder and offering a small smile, clearly trying to continue combatting the tension that was left behind, “I get it. We all do. And I know that you and Barry have a...” she trailed off for a moment, clearly struggling to find the right word,”rough relationship. But I know that he’s only acting that way because he cares about you and doesn’t want you hurt.” 

“And does he not care about the rest of you?” I asked, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to find a response to the question. “Yeah. Exactly. But I’m the only one that has to deal with that.” I gestured to the doorway where he had just sped out of the conversation as per usual. 

All I could offer after that was a light smile. I appreciated them being so kind and I wasn’t trying to tear apart their attempt at being kind. But it also didn’t matter much anymore. I had been a part of this team for months now and I hadn’t come any closer to proving to Barry that I can carry my own weight, let alone getting him to actually like me. 

Since Barry had ran off it didn’t take long for the rest of the team to say their goodbyes and go their separate ways for the night. 

The walk home certainly wasn’t a kind one. Late nights at Star Labs were always my least favorite, seeing as though my apartment was just a bit too close for me to feel comfortable asking any of them to drop me off at home, but a bit too far for me to really feel at ease walking alone at night. After all, there were a plethora of reasons for a woman to feel uncomfortable walking on an empty street in the middle of the night. 

“Hey pretty lady,” 

Such as that. 

My eyes followed the sound of the gravely voice, seeing a man around his mid-forties leaning against the light post, flashing me the grossest grin anyone could ever possibly muster. 

I didn’t respond, forcing a tightlipped smile and trying to walk past him, hoping that he was just a creepy old man and not an actual threat. 

“Well hey now!” He called out, latching onto my wrist as I tried to go past him. “Where ya off to angel?” 

I pulled at my arm, trying to get it out of his grip which was tightening by the second, “I’m catching up with a friend. He’s actually just a couple of blocks ahead.” I lied. 

The man snorted, rolling his eyes at my excuse. “Really? Cause I been here for a while darlin’ and I ain’t see no one come through here except you.” He yanked on my wrist to pull me closer to his body, his other hand falling to my waist. The smell of liquor and cigarettes was overwhelming. As he inched closer to my face I instinctively went to raise my one free hand to push him away when, suddenly-in a flash-he was gone. 

“Are you ok?” Were the first words out of the speedsters mouth as he magically reappeared right in front of me, reaching out to grab my shoulders gently, scanning over my body looking for any sign of me being hurt by that creep. 

“Fine.” I didn’t mean to sound as harsh as I did, still a bit overwhelmed and filled with anxiety. “Thank you.” I added on, trying to soften the blow. 

Barry nodded in response, letting his hands fall from my shoulders. There was a silence that fell over the two of us for a split moment before he decided to break it. “Can I take you home?” 

On any other night I would have quickly declined that offer, immediately writing it off as Barry thinking I need his supervision in order to do absolutely anything without getting hurt. But, seeing as though I did actually benefit from his help tonight, I decided to put my pride to the side and accept the offer. “Uh, yeah. Thank you.” I replied, “I’m just down the street off of-” before the directions to my apartment even left my mouth I was already being grabbed gently by the speedster and being sped to the door of my apartment. “I guess you know the way?” I finished, slightly dumbstruck as he let me back down from his arms. 

His cheeks were slightly flushed, a hand flying to the back of his neck as he looked down the hall of my apartment complex. “Iris has actually mentioned where you live a few times so I just kind of remembered.” 

I glanced back the door to my apartment, the shiny number 15 on the door. I highly doubted that Iris had mentioned the exact apartment I lived in, seeing as though that wasn’t exactly just casual conversation between friends. “Iris told you which number I was in?” 

Barry didn’t reply to that one, his mouth gaped open like he was trying to think up a response with absolutely no words coming to his rescue. 

“Ya know... I don’t wanna sound ungrateful here, Barr,” I started as the wheels in my head began to turn, “because you really saved my ass back there from that creep. But you don’t even live in this direction? So what were you even doing here?” 

The red color painted his cheeks was damn near as dark as cherries and he was still struggling to form words, a series of ‘uh’s and ‘well’s escaping his lips with no other words. 

And, then, it clicked into place perfectly. 

“You followed me, didn’t you?” The words made his eyes widen to the size of saucers, answering my question without him ever having to say a single word. “You’ve gotta be kidding me Allen.” I scoffed, “Okay. Don’t get me wrong, ok? I am really grateful that you helped me tonight. But I do not need you following me home! I’m not that helpless!” 

“Well you needed my help tonight.” Barry offered up in his defense. 

“Yes! And I already thanked you for that.” I reminded him. “But that doesn’t mean you can go following me home at night just waiting for me to get myself into trouble and be too weak to stop it. I’m not some damsel constantly waiting for the Flash to come to my rescue!” I watched as Barry glanced around the hall, making sure no one else was around to hear me yelling about the Flash. “Do you follow everyone else home?” I asked. “Or is it literally just me that you think can’t protect themself?” 

“I just wanted to make sure you were sa-” 

“What did I do to make you think I’m so damn helpless Barry!” I cut him off, my frustration quickly growing into desperation. Months on end of having him treat me like I was made of glass had finally caught up to me. I was tired of feeling?”  like a liability to the team. “What the hell did I do to make you hate me so much?” 

Barry frowned at my words. “What?” The word escaped his lips seemingly without his permission, confusion crossing over his features. “Why would I hate you?” He asked, “I don’t think you’re weak either, Y/N. I just get-” He hesitated, sighing slightly, “scared, I guess. That someone is gonna use you against me and you are going to get hurt.” 

“Why would anyone use me against you?” 

“Because I care about you?” He said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Okay,” I blinked, shaking my head slightly as I tried to piece everything together. “That doesn’t explain why I’m the only one constantly catching the worst of your attitude Barr. You care about everyone else too and yet you don’t scream at them every day because you are scared they’re gonna be used against you or something!” 

“It’s different.” Yet again, he said it as though it were extremely obvious and needed no further explanation. 

“Because you think I can’t protect myself?” 

“Because I love you?” The words came out as a bit more of a question that Barry probably intended, and from the look on his face it seemed like the fact that they were even said was just as shocking to him as it was me. 

I could only imagine how stupid I looked, standing in front of him with my mouth slightly agape as I tried to process what he said. “Um...” was the only thing my brain could really force out. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” It came out as more of a plead than a statement, “About that, at least. I know that it makes like no sense and probably sounds stupid but just-I don’t know Y/N-I care about you. I don’t think you’re weak. And I know I’ve been annoying,” he paused, burying his face in his hands for a moment before continuing, “but it’s just because I don’t think I could stand losing you.” After a brief pause he laughed slightly, “Which is pretty funny since I don’t even have you.” 

I wanted to speak. I wanted to say something. But all I could do was stand in silence, trying to take in everything he said. I mean, after all, going from thinking someone hated you for several months to finding out they actually might love you? Is quite a bit of information to work through. 

Barry seemed to notice my inability to speak, forcing a small-and very fake smile. “You should really get some rest.” He said, taking a step backwards as he prepared to leave, “And just, I don’t know, try to forget about that stuff ok? All that matters is that you know I don’t think you can’t take care of yourself. Forget about everything else, alright?” 

As he went to turn around to disappear down the hallway I quickly reached out, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back towards. me. “I don’t want to.” The words fell out of my mouth without permission, causing Barry to cock his head in confusion at me, our bodies mere inches apart. “I don’t know,” I began “I don’t know if I... love you.” He nodded his head in understanding at my words, despite the flash of pain that spread across his features. “But I want to see if I can.” 

Neither of us spoke for a moment, but Barry stepped closer, his body practically pressed against mine as his wrist was still caught in my shaky hand. I had been this close to Barry before, nearly every time he had to pick me up and run me away from danger. But this was the first time that I had ever paid so much attention to him. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating, so warm and light. And his face. God his face. In all these months I had never really taken the time to see how beautiful Barry was. Obviously I could see that he was an attractive man but I never took the time to admire it. The freckles that littered his face, the cute way his nose was scrunching up as he tried to determine what to do next. 

“I don’t know what to do next.” Barry admitted.

“Well...” I trailed. “You could start by kissing me.” 

There’s the peaceful strum of guitar strings accompanied by gentle humming, an exasperated sigh escaping Cisco’s pursed mouth as he hangs his head and his hands fall against the frigid tabletop, screwdriver in hand clattering against the steel. The distant sound of your whimsical laughter causes his heart to flutter as the monochrome images of his nightmares flicker behind his closed eyes; Barry’s enamored hazel-green eyes staring into yours so lovestricken that it makes his stomach lurch. An uncomfortably familiar set of floral sheets under his bare freckled shoulders as he props his stubbled cheek on his palm and smiles down at your peaceful expression. That beautiful smile, that until now, he’d known for himself, beaming up at him as you nuzzle Barry’s nose and kiss him sweetly. “I am in love with you, Barry Allen.” “And I am in love with you.” Cisco’s vision returns, opening his saddened eyes as he directs his void expression at the latest device he’s drowned himself in. He’d do anything to keep his distance from you, it pained him, but he needed to sort through his conflicting emotions and determine if his vibe was from another Earth, another timeline or, lord help him, if you were actually cheating on him. 

“That’s horrible. I am sorry, Iris.” The statement would’ve sounded sincere had it not been for the grin brightening your expression and the laughter on your tongue. It was no secret that there was a strange and painfully awkward tension of silent struggles in the air surrounding you, Cisco and Barry; so as your closest friend, Iris took it upon herself to entertain you with her horror stories of speed dating. “Maybe I’ll go with you next time.” 

“Nothing has gotten better with Cisco?” The question makes your chest ache, warm tears threatening to sting the corners of your eyes as you fight off the urge to cry. Everything falls silent as you shake your head, a disgruntled sigh falling from Iris’ mouth as she crosses her arms. “I love Cisco but I’ll rough him up if you want me to?” Her offer, however sweet, wouldn’t help the situation but it makes you giggle nonetheless. 

“It’s okay. I just...wish he’d break-up with me if that’s what he’s trying to do. It’d hurt less than not knowing.” She might’ve offered sage advice or a form of affectionate sympathy, you’d never know because as soon as she opened her mouth to speak she was cut off by a hoarse voice of solemn words. 

“You want me to break-up with you?” Iris wanted to tell Cisco to get lost; the frown on her face said it all, but instead she picked up her coffee offering you a soft smile before glaring at him on her way out of the cortex. It was a silent warning; don’t screw this up. “Talk to me, babe.” His tone is affectionate and gentle but his words wake the confusion and frustration from the two weeks of the cold shoulder and silence you received from him. 

“Now you wanna talk?” The edge to your voice made him frown and retract his hand as he’d reached out to touch you. “I don’t mean to be a bitch but I’ve been in the dark for two weeks, Cisco. I have no idea what I’ve done to you for you to phase me out like this. I thought things were going well.” You hesitate, leaning over the computers as you lower your voice. “We’d just told each other we loved each other for the first time and then you just blocked me out. Did you not mean to say it? Were you not ready? We tell each other everything.”

“Do we?” He snapped, releasing a huff as he ran his trembling hands through his soft black tendrils. He thought he was ready to have this discussion but now he realized, too late, that he should’ve waited until the wounds weren’t so fresh. Until the images of whatever it is he vibed didn’t feel so...real. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“What’s going on with you and Barry?” The accusation in his tone threw you off, faltering for a moment as your brows furrowed and your mind fought to keep up. 

“Me and Barry? What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean.” His statement elicits a shiver down your spine and goosebumps across your arms. He’s never been so harsh toward you before.

“No, I don’t. There is no me and Barry. You knew when we started dating that there’d been something between me and Barry almost two years ago. Everyone on Team Flash knew. You said you were okay with it. What changed?” 

“You lied to me. That’s what changed.”

“I’ve never lied to you, Cisco.”

“You said it wasn’t serious.” He whispers, warm tears blurring his vision as his chocolate brown eyes meet yours in a heartbroken gaze. “I vibed it and I can’t stop seeing it. You and him together, in your bed, the same bed that we’ve shared. You both saying you love each other.”

“What?” You question both bewildered as that has never happened and thrown off as he’d promised you he’d never vibe you. “If you’re implying what I think you’re implying, Barry and I have never had sex and we never got to that stage. We saw each other casually. I am not gonna lie and say I didn’t start to fall for him but he broke it off. He said that being the Flash was dangerous and he couldn’t put me in that position. He broke my heart and I moved on.” 

“I don’t understand.” He murmurs, swallowing the dryness in his throat and wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I very clearly, and heartbreakingly, saw it. I can’t stop seeing it.” His calloused hand reaches out carefully, fingertips brushing against the soft flesh of your hand as he intertwines your fingers. “It’s why I’ve avoided you. Every time I close my eyes, it’s all I can see. You telling him you love him, the way he’s looking at you as he tells you he loves you too.” 

“Cisco.” You sigh, placing your palms on his cheeks as you cradle his face. “It.” You press a warm slow kiss to his mouth. “Never.” Kiss. “Happened.” The last kiss is sensual and passionate, a moan rumbling deep in his throat as your tongue caresses his. He sets his forehead against yours as he pulls away, warm breath fanning over your lips as you nuzzle your nose against his. “I love you, Cisco.”

“I love you.” He whispers, biting his bottom lip before stealing another lingering kiss. “I am sorry. For ignoring you and for vibing you. It’s just, after that night at my apartment, I could see in your eyes that something was wrong. Something you weren’t telling me. So I vibed you, maybe I was scared you didn’t mean it or maybe I just thought I was helping. I didn’t really think it through, I just...did it. And I am sorry.” It felt like something clicked, a lingering guilt burning in your chest as you made eye contact with him. 

“There was something I wasn’t telling you. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it because I was so angry, confused and hurt.” You murmured, gnawing on your lower lip as you pulled away from your boyfriend. “Remember when we collectively decided we didn’t want to know what our lives were like before Flashpoint?”

“Yeah, we all agreed in the cortex after Iris lectured us.” He chuckles but the look you give him wipes the amusement from his face. “Why?”

“Barry.” You start, squeezing his hand as he instinctively tries to pull away. “He told me that uh, he and I were meant to be together. That we were supposed to be married.” 

“He said, I am sorry, what?” He snaps, shooting from his seat as he yanks his hand from your grasp and you almost topple from the desk chair. “Wha-I don’t understand. Why would he just say that?!” He’s pacing now, biting his nails as he begins to stomp back and forth. He’s growing angry, you can almost feel the aggression rolling from his body in waves. “You-You never would’ve asked. Why would he say that to you?”

“I don’t want to say.” You whisper, avoiding his gaze as you stare at the sneakers on your feet. You wanted to be honest, but this truth would fracture Team Flash in a way that may never be fixed. 

“Why did he say that.” It’s no longer a question but a repeated statement, he’s trying to be patient with you, he is but he can feel that you’re trying to protect Barry and it makes his insides boil. “Y/N, why.”

“Because he’s in love with me.” That truth tumbling from your trembling lips set forth a devastating domino effect; Cisco lunges for the computer in the center console, fingers banging against the keyboard with an aggressive determination. The shriek of the cortex alarm blaring causes you to cover your ears, the emergency lights flooding the room in a menacing maroon glow as the building is shut in darkness and Team Flash starts appearing in confusion and concern. You’re unsure of what everyone’s whereabouts were or how they’d all seemed to make it here in such haste but you were certain that this, whatever was about to transpire, was going to be even worse with everyone else here to witness it. There’s a familiar sound of a deep whoosh as the neon yellow lightning bursts through the doorway, panic on Barry’s expression as he searches for the threat. Cisco found enough restraint in himself, or maybe he just wanted his outburst to be heard, to shut the alarms off.

“What’s going-” Barry’s confusion is interrupted by a blast of energy barreling at him from Cisco’s balled fist, the force sending him flying across the room. There’s a deafening crack echoing throughout the cortex, plaster crumbling from the massive crater in the wall, there’s a pained groan from Barry as he releases a dry cough and settles on his hands and knees. 

“What the hell, Cisco?” Wally grumbles, the crunching of rubble under his sneaker soles as he helps his brother find his footing. He’s not given a chance to follow up as he’s interrupted by the desperate plea from your trembling mouth. Please, don’t. The request was lost in a broken whisper, the remaining members of the team exchanging perplexed glances before everyone was startled from the momentary silence. 

“What is your problem, Barry?!” Cisco’s rhetorical exclamation shook Barry from his bewildered state, he hadn’t a chance to  question his friend before guilt plummet into the depths of his stomach as he continued. “Why can’t you just let me be happy?” The atmosphere in the cortex thickens with a strange tension as a wave of distorted energy ripples around his silhouette. “Changing the timeline with no afterthought or concern for anyone else, getting my brother killed and now this,” He stammers, meeting your gaze before the rippling energy aura surrounding him grows. “I thought you were my best friend, Barry. I’ve always been on your side, but then I find out that you’re trying to steal away the only happiness I still have? It kills you, doesn’t it?” He prods, approaching the speedster with a few calculated side steps. “Knowing that you messed up. You had to change the timeline but you didn’t think that it’d change your relationship. She’s not yours here. She doesn’t love you here.” He’s almost nose to nose with his friend as he whispers. “She will never love you here, because she loves me. She’s mine here.” 

“Guys, maybe we should take a breather.” Caitlin’s delicate voice suggests frowning at the conflicted and troubled expressions on the remainder of Team Flash’s faces. There’s no response, the moment is interrupted by an electrical current rippling throughout the atmosphere followed by an abrupt wave of energy that knocks everyone to the floor. The following moments seem to pass in slow motion, the sensation of arms wrapping themselves around your frame adds to the confusion as you begin to blink away the haze and examine the surroundings. 

“Are you alright?” Barry’s winded voice whispers in distress, gloved palm wiping the shrapnel of glass fragments from your disheveled hair as he searches for any visible wounds. “Are you hurt?”

“I am alright.” You cough, fingertips instinctively touching the scratches across his porcelain cheeks. “Are you okay?”

“I am not worried about me.” He whispers back, fingers threading through your hair, cupping your cheek in an affectionate gesture as his thumb caresses the flesh subconsciously. Given the explosive argument, he shouldn’t have been doing this, anyone involved in a similar situation would distance themselves. Cisco is like a brother to him; so why couldn’t he let this go? Why couldn’t he let  you go? 

“Where’s Cisco?” Wally’s dazed voice questions, the crunching of shattered glass interrupting the silence as everyone attempts to compose themselves. The mention of your boyfriend’s name sours the moment, causing Barry to recoil from the interaction as he clears his throat and helps you stand carefully.

“You want to do what?” Barry frowned as he stared at Cisco who stood nervously in front of him.

“The meta cure is perfectly safe and I want this for me. I really, really do.” Cisco said with pleading eyes, hoping that Barry would understand him and why he has to do this.

“Why? Why would you want to do this?” Barry questioned, shaking his head in disapproval. “You love your powers, you love everything about being a superhero! You are an important part of this team and now you just gonna walk away from it? From family?”

“It’s not like that! If you guys need me I’ll be here, okay?  I just need some distance, I don’t want to be in the field anymore like I use to and-”

“Is this because of her? Kamilla? Did she say something?” Barry asked trying to piece the situation together.

“What?” Cisco chuckled at the ridiculousness of Barry assumption.

“Is it her?!” 

“No! And don’t you dare bring her into this because she doesn’t care what decision I make, she just wants me to be happy and I thought my best friend would too but I guess I was wrong!” Cisco yelled, looking at Barry straight in the eyes. His angry tone matching Barry’s as the argument got heated.

“Then what is it? What changed your mind about being Vibe? Why are you suddenly deciding to leave the team? ”

“There is a lot of reasons but the main thing is...I want a normal life, Barry.”

“A normal life? What are you talking about? I have a normal life, Joe has one too, we all do.”

“You call your daughter traveling from the future to visit during the holidays normal? You are joking, right?” Cisco shook his at the craziness of their daily lives.

Barry sat down on one of the labs chairs as he ran his hands across his face and let out a frustrated sigh.

“Then what is it?” He looked up at Cisco who looked just as defeated as him.

“I have wanted this for a while now. I want a little less craziness, you know? I want to be able to walk home without looking over my shoulder and staying up late at night wondering when the next big bad will kill one of us. I want to stop jumping out of fear every time my phone rings. I want to be less scared of just living my life.” Cisco said with both sadness at the situation and relief at letting it all out in his voice. His eyes glistened with tears threatening to spill. 

“You are my best friend, Barry. You and I have been through so much together since the day Dr. Wells brought you here. I have supported every single crazy idea and have stood by your side during the most dangerous missions. So please, let me have this because I can’t do this anymore.”

“You right,” Barry said, shaking his head. He stood up immediately and hugged Cisco 

“This is your decisions and as your friend, I should be more supportive, I’m sorry. I just- the team won’t be the same without you but if it means you get the happiness you deserve then so be it. I’m here for you, every step of the way.”