#fixy rants

STOP TWINKWASHING MY BOY. MY BOY SNORTS CYBER-PROTIEN POWDER ON THE DAILY AND HARASSES MINORITIES!

HE IS NOT "SLAY", HE IS NOT "YASS", HE IS A FELON WITH THE RAM OF AN APPLE SMART FRIDGE AND THE BODY OF A BRICK SHITHOUSE. HE WOULD ROLL UP WEARING A SWEATY WIFE-BEATER, DESERT CAMO CARGO SHORTS, COMBAT BOOTS, AND RED VISOR SUNGLASSES. HE WOULD CALL YOU A SLUR, HE WOULD CLAIM TO HAVE FUCKED YOUR MOM, AND THEN HE WOULD BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU IN THE DENNYS PARKING LOT.

THIS MAN ISN'T A TWINK. STOP IT.

It was heavily implied that he was created as a Quintesson overcharge drone, but gained sentience and escaped. Oh, he also lost his memory. Did I forget to mention that part?

BLITZWING IS A WEAPON OF WAR CREATED BY CYBERTRONIANS' OLD FORGOTTEN ENEMIES, AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT BECAUSE HE CANT REMEMBER HIS PAST.

You cannot tell me that this isn't giving massive main character energy. It's so hardcore.

I swear, I'll come back to this. I'll write an essay and I'll cite sources.

I just want a banished Decepticon on the run to have a sleazy romance with a vengeful ghost with power hungry ambitions.

PLEASE.

JUST PICTURE IT.

Those two slippery bastards working together to take Galvatron's throne... AND BEING CUNTY AND HOMOEROTIC??? GOD, PLEASE. WE NEED THIS!!

It drives me insane.

"SEEKER" DOES NOT MEAN "FLIER"! A seeker is a very specific frame type that is, for the most part, nearly identical every time (with the exception of the coneheads). I personally believe that they're cold constructed and mass produced, but idk do whatever the fuck you want with YOUR take on the lore.

THIS BITCH CRASH-LANDED IN THE ARCTIC, GOT BURIED ALIVE, WENT INTO A SEVERAL-MILLION-YEAR COMA, AND LOST EVERYTHING.

AND YOU THINK HE L I K E S THE SNOW?? HE'S PROBABLY TRAUMATIZED BY IT!

THIS IS LIKE SAYING CHUCK FROM CAST-AWAY E N J O Y S DESERTED ISLANDS!!

It bothers me so much every time I see it. He was charting an unexplored planet and crash-landed. IT WASN'T A FUCKING VACATION.

(Edit to clear things up: I do not believe this is canon. That is not my argument. I believe it SHOULD be canon.)

I feel like they've got SOMETHING going on there.

If you ask them about it, they'll probably scoff at you and say some shit like "We're not GAY, idiot! Why would you even think that? We're just FRIENDS." Meanwhile they have ABSOLUTELY fucked each other AT LEAST ONCE like "its not gay, we're just practicing on each other. Gotta be good for the ladies, am I right?" SURE BUDDY. SURE. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING. "PRACTICING FOR THE LADIES". YEAH RIGHT. They're "just friends", but five drinks later and they're passionately making out.

They're not dating, but damn... there's SOMETHING going on. I dunno what that "something" is, but it's NOT straight. Friends with benefits? Bromance Deluxe? Denial? It's SOMETHING.