#fixed mindset

Simple translation:

Low self efficacy: The continuous belief that you are unable to accomplish or succeed in many or all things. Usually means you give up and avoid tasks that you don’t do perfect the first time (me), have low motivation to improve, and generally avoid anything that can result in failure.

Fixed mindset: The belief that your capabilities and situations are unchangeable. If you fail at something once, you will always fail. Low self efficacy is usually caused by fix mindsets.

I always thought I related to “too self aware to get better” posts regarding multiple things. Most specific was my eating disorder. I have tried a few times to recover where they all fizzled out, and I had just assumed traditional ways of treating my type of ED just don’t work for me.

It’s not until very recently that I realized the failure stems from that I don’t believe I can recover from my ED. I believe it will always fail, which always leads to my recovery attempts to be short lived.

This extends to multiple areas of my life. My fixed mindset and low self efficacy makes me assume I will fail when I finish school and get a full time position. I believe I will pick the wrong one and be miserable or unemployed. I believe that when I move out, I will not be able to mentally handle it. I believe that I am incapable of making friends.

These are not just problems I’m too self aware of to fix, these are problems I can fix, but I don’t believe I can, so I don’t try to do so out of fear.

While this is absolutely not the case for everyone, I challenge anyone who has ever related to a “too mentally aware to fix it” post to try to question if it is mental awareness, or low self efficacy and a fixed mindset (or both!!!!).

Here’s some resources below that better explain what self efficacy and fixed/growth mindsets are and how to actually do anything:

Going From a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset

Lesson #1: growth is not linear. You will not improve drastically overnight. As I’ve stressed this before, things take time and consistency and concentration.

A fixed mindset is basically a belief that the person you’re born as - your intelligence and talent - are fixed. They cannot be changed, no matter what.

Science has shown that this is not true. It’s 100% possible to get smarter over time and with dedicated effort.

This is what a growth mindset is - believing that you can be better over time, and that your current level of intelligence and talent is temporary.

People with fixed mindsets are insecure, and it shows. Fear of failure; taking constructive criticism to heart; feelings of jealousy when someone they know is doing well… we’ve all known a person like this, and been this person ourselves at some point in our life.

Growth mindset is therefore the opposite but the effects are as grounding; it can help battling anxiety, depression, burnout issues, behavioural issues and so on.

I understand that a lot of you don’t have people in your life with a similar mentality of personal growth. I’m therefore reopening my Discord. My followers can meet, connect and help each other out.

Now, how does one transition from a fixed to a growth mindset?

Here are some things I think could help:

1. Detaching yourself from the definition of failure

If you’ve already decided the outcome of a certain situation without even trying, then you’re still stuck in a fixed mindset. Things like “there’s no point in me applying for that job because I don’t have the skills and I won’t get it anyway” - applying for that job wouldn’t hurt, even if you don’t get it. Stop limiting your opportunities that you never know could actually work out. A growth mindset person will always try to make most of the opportunities they have.

2. Not getting attached to any outcomes

Don’t get attached to favourable or unfavourable outcomes. When something goes well, have gratitude in your heart but don’t let it get to your ego. Life is about constantly learning. Don’t get attached to compliments and don’t get disheartened by criticism.

3. Actively working on yourself

You can learn a language at any age. You can start learning how to dance or sing or ride a horse at any age, if you’re doing it for the pleasure of learning (getting into competitive stages could be challenging if you’re not young). Someone who works on themselves has a growth mindset.

4. Stop self depreciating yourself

If I see one more IG bio that says “I’m so boring uwu” I will literally throw hands. Stop talking shit about yourself. Classic fixed mindset case. It’s childish and people pleasing behaviour.

5. Stop the comparison game

Stop resenting the people around for the good work they do in their life/ if their life is easy. We all have our challenges, whether we show them publicly or not. The more you work on your inner peace and inner self, the less you’ll feel the need to compare yourself to someone else. Jealousy is a disease and a sign of a fixed mindset.

6. Appreciate and thank yourself for being you.

If you’re nice to your mum, siblings, friends when they need your support… you can be nice to yourself too. Growth mindset does not come from berating yourself.

7. Recognise mistakes and take accountability

Admitting that you’re wrong is never easy. However, I’ll always have respect for someone who can admit that they messed up, rather than someone who will make up stories to justify their antics.

8. Provide yourself with at least 3 productive self-care hours a week

Self care here doesn’t mean skin care or hair care. I mean brain care. You feed your brain good things that it needs to stay calm and ever-growing.

These could include: brain games, mediation, a hobby, watching an educational documentary, doing a short online course, reading… anything that’s good for your brain.

9. Stop being a chameleon

Have you ever met those sort of people who will do anything to fit in? It could adopting that group’s mannerisms, thought processes, opinions… now, to an extent, that is normal and subtle. However, when it starts going too far to a point where you can’t be yourself anymore, thats a problem. In my opinion, that’s an example of not being able to practice your growth mindset publicly.

Privately, you may be growth oriented - but it needs to reflect in your words and actions. If you’re holding yourself back in doing certain things because you’re afraid of what other friends will think of you, you need better friends. Embrace people who have a growth mentality.

10. Using social media for better purposes

Your level of resilience will determine whether you feel worthy and capable of your goals and dreams, or unworthy. Failure is inevitable; it is how you choose to respond to failure that will determine your outcomes.

Semua orang memang punya sifat buruk mereka bawa dari kecil, tapi itu bukan suatu pembenaran untuk mereka gk mau berkembang dan menjadi lebih baik lagi. Sarannya, bukan rubah sikap mu, tapi rubah dulu pola pikir mu. Bukan kamu gk bisa, itu namanya kamu gk mau.