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Just Tell Me What To Say, Part 2
5yo: How come bad guys like to shoot their guns at good guys?
Me: I wish I knew the answer to that.
5yo: I think only good guys should have all the guns.
Me: I would prefer if no one had any guns at all.
5yo: Not even the good guys?
Me: Not even the good guys. No guns at all would be my preference.
5yo: But what about Princess Leia? She has a blaster gun and she uses it to kill the bad guys. Shouldnât Princess Leia have that blaster gun?
Me:
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How a 4 Year Old's Brain Works, Part 16
Me: What do you want for your birthday, love?
4yo: I want a phone.
Me: *drops jaw*
4yo: I really want one!
Me: Why?
4yo: So I can, ya know, work.
Me: What kind of work?
4yo: You know, taking some calls and typing some messages.
Me: *drops jaw*
Unprepared
âYouâre not respecting me,â she said, because I served her favorite blintzes for dinner. Sheâs five. âI want French toast. You didnât even ask me. Thatâs not respecting what I want.â
I am terrified and wholly unprepared for this.Â
A 5 Year Old Says Goodnight to Her Dolls
Maren: Goodnight Twilight Sparkle. Goodnight Ariel. Goodnight Clare Bear even though I call you Clarey for a nickname. Goodnight Little Sister Clarey. Goodnight Other Twilight Sparkle. Goodnight Olivia. Goodnight Darla. Goodnight Bitey. Goodnight Crabby. Goodnight Lucky. Goodnight Fishy Fish. Goodnight Horsey-Borsey. Goodnight Fluffy Bunny. Goodnight Presenty. Goodnight Skye. Goodnight Gabriella. Goodnight Sophia. Goodnight Sophie. Goodnight Sophie-Anna. Goodnight Chocolate. Goodnight Donkity. Goodnight Sylvia. Goodnight Miriam. Goodnight Flippy Pillow. Goodnight Tigey.Â
Deep Thoughts On God, Free Will and Pickleball, According to a 5 Year Old
Saba: Do you want to play pickleball with me?
5yo: No, I donât think so. I think God made me to not like pickleball. But wait, did God make me to be able to change my mind? Because maybe in a few minutes Iâll want to play.Â
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The Shadow Market of Secret Passwords, According to a 5 Year Old
5yo: I'm wearing my secret badge. It has my secret password on it. Here's another paper with my secret password on it. Jack gave it to me because you can't pass without giving me a paper with the secret password.
Me:Â Wait, you told Jack your secret password?
5yo: Of course! So he could pass! And then, if he needs extra, he has to pay cash.
This is true about my five year-old son too. I realized that teenagers are just taller, more hormonal toddlers. Oy! (This does include myself as a teenager)
