#five kage

Shinobi 1: oh peace! yeah we've done that before. okay. what country is the scary one that bullied everyone into a ceasefire. PLEASE don't tell me it's Konoha AGAIN Shinobi 2: it's konoha again. they have demigods now. Tsunade, daydreaming of being monstrously drunk: No. okay. one more time. no one's bullying anyone. we hold equal power on the council. we talk to each other like equals. Shinobi 1: okay but. you can't expect us to believe that you won't just like…kill everyone that disagrees with you. Gaara: No. We will field their complaints together, as an alliance, and discuss their merits. As long as you aren't a threat to the alliance, there's no reason to threaten to raise tensions by killing dissenters. Mei: And when we DO kill dissenters, it's not something any one kage can do alone. if it effects the whole alliance, you have to talk about it with the whole alliance first. Shinobi 2: but what about missions? We still have to compete over those. Oonoki: all missions submitted to villages in the allience will be compiled and evenly distributed. Shinobi 1: and we just…trust each other to. not hide and privately hoard missions? A: Yes. because that would be stupid. It's impossible to hide forever cause it would inevitably lead a paper trail, and once you were found, I would personally kick your fucking ass. Shinobi 1: ...admittedly effective deterrent. Shinobi 2: Admittedly. But what's stopping people IN the village from doing that just to sabatoge their hokage's place in the allience cause they don't trust this new bullshit system? Gaara: We trust each other. if something like that happens, we talk it over like adults and execute the person purposefully threatening the peace of allience. Shinobi 1: ….yeah, no. this is all a scam. fuck y'all. why would we believe any of this. Shinobi 2: Well. Konoha DOES have demi-god war heroes. so as long as that cheerful blonde guy is genuinely invested, konoha is genuinely invested, the other villages have reason to trust konoha's investment. And thus reason to relax themselves? Shinobi 1: so it IS just konoha holding a new shiny blonde nuke and scaring the other nations into submission! Oonoki, under his breath: I mean. yeah, kinda. Tsunade, migrane forming cause she's been going in circles like this for HOURS: NO. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING