#firstcfhername

THE NORTH™ SQUAD.

The Godswood was cloaked in darkness when Theon and Sansa arrived, the hint of dawn just beginning to creep through the crimson leaves. They had chosen dawn because they had both seen enough harrowing NIGHTS in the Godswood to last a lifetime. 

It had been DAWN when Sansa had found Theon’s crumpled body after the Battle for Winterfell, stabbed through and broken, but still clinging to life. Theon would later believe that Sansa had saved him with sheer will alone.

At her words, Theon inhaled sharply and pulled her into his arms. “Your Grace,” he whispered as he grazed her lips with his own. He liked teasing her with her title in intimate moments like this. But truthfully, though he called her “Your Grace,” she was his grace and his hope. 

He would never understand why he was allowed to be alive, healing with Sansa when so many others had died. To marry her secretly in this very Godswood, the place where he had remembered his name and where she had urged him to RISE AGAIN. The Gods were not done with him, it seemed. And neither was she.

@firstcfhername​ said: ‘ i promise you will not always be this war ’

sandor considers, momentarily, the weight of that word  –  𝐖𝐀𝐑. how heavy a toll it demands, but how sweet is its prize. and he knows, knows so well, that it isn’t such a black and white picture. but what is war, truly, when it is all you have ever lived for? when, from the moment you were of age, you had a sword placed in your hands. were told that from that moment on, you must 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓. you must claw, you must gnash your teeth, and you must kill. and while sandor never thought his father an intelligent man, he was certainly right in that regard. at least, so far as life had proven to him. 

and sandor doesn’t pretend that he is unaware of sansa’s familiarity with war. a different kind, perhaps.but she knows it well. and he wonders if she truly means what she says. if it’s something she believes, honestly. no, he knows that much is true. sansa never was one to waste words. but sandor, himself, finds the concept difficult to grasp. finds 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐄 difficult to grasp. it is much easier for sandor to imagine himself old and grey and still so full of the very same   rage  that has simmered in his blood since before he was even old enough to truly understand it. and yet he had never considered the alternative  –  old and grey and with sansa by his side. and suddenly peace does not seem so unattainable. 

            And so, instead of allowing the grief to creep up on him, he stood, head bent, eyes on a map of Winterfell and its surroundings. There was nothing left to discuss, but there was worry like ice surrounding his heart, and Rhaegar couldn’t help but stress, again and again, on what they might have overlooked, what flaw there must be in their plans - but he could think of nothing.

                They would die, or they wouldn’t. All they could do was wait for it to happen.

            “ I can’t help but feel as if there is something we are missing, ” finally, the eldest dragon expressed his concerns, musician’s voice soft with worry. Indigo gaze was caught by flame-like hair the moment he looked up, and he blinked once, twice. “ They are progressing with the defenses, and we should have plenty of fuel for all fires that shall be lit. Smiths work day and night to provide dragonglass weapons. And yet... ” Silver hair had slid before his eyes, and he brushed it back impatiently. 

            “ I wish it did not have to be the North that suffers. ” Had it not suffered enough? He’d heard of lady Stark’s eldest brother, the fate he’d suffered, and the demise of the youngest one. Fragments of her own story, too. Teeth worried his bottomlip. “ But if we do not make a stand somewhere, we will be overrun, and all is lost. ”

“Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.”

@firstcfhername  –  phrases that hit you where it hurts  –  accepting

sandor looks at her, eyes wide, and he scoffs. he wonders when her tongue became so sharp. when she stopped trembling before him and started biting back. and while he misses that vigorous innocence she once wore so well, that innocence that he wished so much on his younger self, sandor sees now that that never was what defined her. that she is, standing before him, just as much herself as she had always been. and that maybe time wasn’t so cruel after all.

at least not as cruel as his eyes –  according to her.  “  my eyes are cruel because they’ve seen cruel shit,  ”  he offers in response. it’s a cheap response, he knows. but it’s just something he defaults to. and damn if he wasn’t stuck in his ways.

@firstcfhername​ said: 🎄 💋

sandor knows exactly what she’s up to when she asks him to follow. knows it, and he follows anyway.   (  as if he could say no  )   when they stop, he glances up at the mistletoe and back to her. a smirk, so slight, forms on his face. and is gone almost as soon. any other day he would complain. say that mistletoe is ridiculous and unnecessarily. like just about every other holiday tradition. but, no, he doesn’t feel that way now. not today. not when it gives them both some static reasoning. takes away all the complications they could both do without. 

and secretly  –  he’s grateful. wonders if she feels the same. he can kiss her. pretend like the only reason is that they’re both under the mistletoe. doesn’t have to think about how much he THINKS about it. doesn’t worry about the weight of the decision whether to kiss her or not. not this time. it’s simple. one dimensional  –  at least on the surface. and maybe it stays that way. maybe it doesn’t. he supposes that’s a problem he’ll deal with when he gets there. 

he places a hand on the side of her face. rubs his thumb along her cheek. leans down to meet her kiss halfway. her lips are soft. gentle, but they send a warmth spreading throughout his chest. spring. life. wishes it could stay always. and when he pulls away, it’s only for the sake of public courtesy. sandor wants to ask if she regrets it. wants to bring up those complications but he knows they don’t exist in this moment. a relief even to himself, he chooses lighter words.

“  maybe the holidays aren’t complete shit.  ”  

he knows