#firelord

“Yes, I have been feeling quite well since this morning.” Your hand settles on your bump, caressing the skin under the dark robes. 

Zuko sits down on the thin pillow, leaning back against his calves. “Have you eaten? Was breakfast enough?” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. 

You smile fondly at his worry. “Yes, Zuko.” You bring the tea cup to your lips, blowing on it before taking a sip. 

He turns his head to the door, where a maid is standing. “Could you get her more treats?” His hand points at the empty jade plate on the low table. 

The maid politely bows her head. “Of course, my lord.” She hurries outside the room.

“I could have gotten more myself, love.” You huff and smile. “That maid has been on her feet all day.” 

His eyebrows perk up. “You could have said that.” He turns to speak directly to the maid as she returns with a plate full of sweets. “You should sit down for a cup of tea, I insist.” 

She places the plate down and tucks her hands in his lap. “My lord, really?”

He nods. “Yes, you can even go home for the day. Spread the word to the other maids.” 

She smiles and  walks out into the gardens, following the trail to her home. 

You huff and lean back against his chest.

“Mei is almost finished with her flute lessons and Lin is with his teacher, studying.” He whispers in your ear, rubbing your lower back to ease the tension built up by the extra weight you were carrying.

“And you are finished with your meetings?” You smile up at him.

“For now, yes. But later today I will have to meet someone regarding financial matters.” 

You groan. “When will you have a free moment for your very pregnant wife?” You smirk, slightly tapping his knee. 

“Oh I always have time for you, my dearest.” He runs his palms from your back to your bump. “Always time for you and our children.” He whispers as his lips graze against the shell of your ear.

You reach for another bite of a pastry. “So what should we name this little one when it comes out?” You lick a crumb off your lip.

He hums, squinting as he thinks. “Is it a boy or a girl?” 

“After the last visit, the physician said that he believes it’s a boy. But I would not count on it.” 

He chuckles. “Yes. He said that Mei was going to be a boy.” 

You chuckle as well. “Instead we have a beautiful girl.” 

His chuckle dies down as he presses his lips to the crown of your head, inhaling your scent. “So, I was thinking if it’s a boy, Iroh.” He moves his head from your head to the crook of your neck.” 

“That’s sweet, yeah.” You take a deep breath. “And if it’s a girl?” 

The only thing you can hear is his breathing for a moment, his hands glide over your bump. “Ada, but we will use that name anyway.” He whispers.

“Mh?”

“If this one is a boy we will have to just keep trying until we get another beautiful baby girl.” He keeps his voice low, determination dripping from it.

You laugh softly. “Are three not enough for you, love?” 

Zuko knew better than to think he’d get a wink of rest that night. 

With the Avatar and his friends coming to visit, he was disturbed by the shuffling of feet at dawn. The staff moved at a faster tune, preparing the palace for their arrival as if it was the most important thing to do. And really, it was. Ladies in Waiting rushed into bedrooms, sweeping the floor, changing the sheets, and ensuring perfection was met. Guard leaders were instructing them on their future positioning, and instructing them to heighten their awareness. 

As for Zuko, he was struggling just to get out of bed. His body felt hot and heavy, like molten rocks were pressing down against his torso. But he gets up, albeit a few bone cracks here and there. He dragged his feet in his routine, getting showered and barely ready before waiting for your arrival. He was eager to see you, despite wanting to try and keep his distance from you. 

You were not the issue; it was him. In hindsight, he should have known that getting close to you was not a great decision. He would have killed Lord Indra if you asked him to, and that kind of power over him was extremely dangerous. So, throughout the night, he’s convinced himself that the best thing for the both of you was to dissolve the relationship you had developed. You are his attendant, and he was your leader. 

But as the minutes passed, your absence remained. You were never late, and he always admired that punctual drive of yours. But here he was, sat at the edge of his bed, eagerness being stabbed by your delay. Not that he’d admit he was anticipating seeing you. 

Then, a gentle knock was heard against his door. He quickly sits up, fixing his garments to close the sliver of chest and abs he was showing. “Come in,” he struggles out, his voice still hoarse from getting up. 

His glowing eyes quickly dim when it was not you entering his quarters, but another Lady in Waiting. She bows, “goodmorning, Firelord Zuko.” There it was, that monotone serving voice that he loathes. He understood it was part of their job, but that lip service has long annoyed him. 

“Goodmorning,” he hums, giving a curt nod. She quickly closes the door behind her, and looks over at his massive vanity, taking hold of a brush. “Oh, are you to…?” 

The Lady in Waiting nods shyly, her eyes not daring to meet his, “I will be taking Lady Sai’s place for today. So whenever you are ready, I will assist you in doing your hair.” She was nervous, as the brush shook in her hold. She was short, her attire perfectly ironed, and bun done so tightly, a strand does not dare to stick out. 

She was anxious. Zuko does not protest, and finds his way to the chair. He wasn’t happy, and it wasn’t just because of your absence. You knew best how to do his, well, everything. Zuko was a bit tender headed, and you brushed his hair so well, he doesn’t even notice when you finish sometimes. 

He sat there, arms crossed, teeth gritting as the attendant divided his hair into sections. She didn’t realize the way she would slide the hairpin a little too aggressively, dragging it against his scalp in the process. He winces, but doesn’t dare mood, as he didn’t want her to know he wasn’t comfortable. 

He was the damn Firelord– why would tenderheadedness be a fault of his? 

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After a torturous bun and a long morning, the two strolled over to the throne room in the afternoon, where a stack of scrolls eagerly waited for Zuko’s arrival. He slapped his hand against his face, his amber eyes burning at his tasks through the spaces of his fingers. Fuck me, he thought to himself. The Lady in Waiting behind him cowered, fearful of his mood. 

And she was not wrong to react in such a way. Zuko was in a terrible mood. Not enough to be cruel to her, but enough that he would sigh and groan every other minute. He opened scrolls so quickly, some of them ripped off of the wooden dowels. Even when signing with his quill, he would occasionally write a bit too aggressively, marking lines off the paper accidentally. 

And it wasn’t that he missed you or anything. 

But, when the kind Lady in Waiting prepared his tea, she trembled, similarly to you when you had first attended him. And when she prepared a cup of tea for him, the first sip he took was dreadful. It tasted of just hot water, no herbs, not even anything sweet. And she would stand so far, he’d have to raise his voice just a bit just to speak with her. 

It wasn’t her fault; you spoiled him too much. Your hands were already masters at your craft before you were hired to serve him. Your warmth put fire bending to shame, especially with how careful you were when tending to him. Everything about you; your scent, your touch, your smile. He was so used to you that being without you wasn’t satisfactory to him. 

“Lady,” he calls to her, getting a small jump from her. “Come here.” 

She rushes down the room, and halts at the bottom of the stairs that led to his throne. She bows, “yes, my Lord?” Her words were stammered out, her skin completely pale. He felt bad for making her anxious, but that’s just part of the job. 

“What is your name?” Zuko hums. He had no plans of breaking formalities with her, but he wanted to respect her and know who was attending him. 

She nods, “K-Kira, m’Lord.” Her name barely wanted to leave her tongue from the way it came out so hush. 

Zuko offers her a small smile, attempting to soothe her nerves, “it’s nice to meet you, Lady Kira. Thank you for serving me today.” 

“Th-the honor is all mine, always my Lord!” She squeaked out, offering him yet another bow. He puts down his quill into the jar of ink beside him, and allows the scroll on the desk to loosely close. 

He was direct in his words, “do you know why Lady Sai is not here attending to me?” He quickly follows his inquiry with, “do not take offense to this. I am used to her servicing me, as she is my direct and personal attendant. I need to know where she is, and why she is not here.” 

Kira looks down, her anxiety peaking. This made Zuko curious, as it seemed like asking if that was something she was dreading. It felt almost as if your whereabouts were to remain unknown to him. “She… has been assigned to work elsewhere by Lady Minji.” 

“Chamberlain Minji assigned my direct attendant to work on something else?” Zuko repeats her words, just clarifying that he heard her correctly. She feebly nods. “Can I ask what she is doing?” 

Kira’s eyes were dim, and he knew that there was something wrong. But, it did allure him to see one of the staff members attempt to keep something from him. It was rare, and his interest and need to know where you were only skyrocketed. She finds solace at her shoes, hoping he’d stop caring and let it go. 

But it was you they were talking about– he won’t let it go until he knows. 

“Lady Kira, is this something I’m not to know?” Zuko asks, lowering his voice so low that even a mouse could be heard if there was one. 

Kira’s eyes return to meet him, seeing his eyes completely engulfed in worry now. He had to know where you were, and what you were doing, and why you were not here, with him. “...I’m not to say, upon Lady Minji’s instructions,” Kira says quietly.

His eyes glimmer now with something a bit darker. There was an unease crawling on his skin, needing but also fearing the answer. “You do not need to concern yourself with consequence; I will not tell her who told me,” Zuko promises. 

Kira sees the honesty and desperation in those amber eyes. She also realizes it’s much more dangerous to deny the Firelord than it was to disobey the Chamberlain. “Lady Minji reassigned Lady Sai to attend to the visiting lords.” 

Zuko was taken aback from her words. The lords were completely taken care of by the other Ladies in Waiting, but only when they were within the Palace. From his knowledge, he was confident that the lords were spending the day in the Capital, obtaining resources to prepare for their trip back to their own villages. “But they are not in Palace grounds, correct?” 

Kira nods, “they are… um…” She shuffles in place, anxious to reveal their location. But they were already too deep in the conversation, and Zuko had no intention to let up. “They are at the pub down at the Capital.” 

“What?” Zuko scoffed. “Why?” 

“Sh-she was told she must make it up to Lord Indra; the reason, I am not sure of,” Kira replies. 

There was an anger building up in the Firelord, like a supervolcano ready to activate after a long dormancy. It was already enough that you were not present, but hearing that you were completely out of Palace grounds and in the same room as the same person who did you damage just the night before. 

He tried to contain himself, letting out an annoyed sigh. A discussion with Chamberlain was a given, though it was not something he was eager to do. He had trusted the palace management to her, and that trust was quickly being tested. He reopens the scroll on his desk, attempting to refocus on his work once more. 

She’s fine, he thought to himself, finding comfort in his naivety. Staff of the palace must be escorted into Capital City, regardless of the reason. Zuko put this in place to ensure their safety while not keeping them hostage in the palace. He never wanted the workers to feel as if their life is only within the walls of his home. 

He taps the tip of the quill to his tongue, “what time was she escorted to the bar?” 

Kira quickly clears her throat, “it was quite early, but no guards accompanied her. She went by herself.” The quill in his hand snapped, chips of wood broken to pieces and threatening to splinter him. 

Suddenly, he felt all air get removed from the room. There was something hitched at his throat, and there was a sort of anger he hadn’t felt in a very long time. The most it had ever come in recent time was yesterday, when you are assaulted. And even then, that was just a scratch of its true wrath. 

He puts away his work quickly, not another word leaving his lips. He had to control himself, at least for the time being. He knew he needed to confront Chamberlain, but that will be for after. His first task was to go to you. He stands straight, his robes flowing behind him, supplemented by the air from his sudden stride. 

Zuko walks up to Kira and leans down, his face inches before hers. She could feel herself go hot, her nerves forcing goosebumps all over her skin. “I need you to do me a favor, if you’re willing,” he says calmly. 

Kira nods, “anything for you, Firelord Zuko.” 

“I want you to leave this room quietly, and should anyone ask where you are going, say that I’ve instructed you to upkeep my room,” Zuko begins his instructions, having Kira jot it down mentally. “And I do want you to remain in my quarters, but before that, find my uncle and tell him I’m going into town.” 

Inform Master Iroh? She thinks curiously. Her eyes looked into his, and those amber eyes were now a dark honey. But, they held anything but sweetness in their coat, cloaked by something she could not begin to describe. 

She nods once more, “understood, Firelord Zuko. A-and Lady Minji?” 

“My word is above everyone else's here,” Zuko reaffirms, “should she dare go against my word, I’m not sure if she can take the entirety of the consequences that are imminent.” 

A glimmer of admiration twinkles in her eyes, despite her anxiety from seeing the Firelord begin to build on his intimidating aura. She nods, “I will do as I am told, Firelord Zuko. And… thank you very much…” her words trail off, as her eyes look down woefully. 

“Hm?” He tilts his head, confused by her gratitude. 

“None of us did anything,” she whispered, “Sai stood there and obeyed, did not dare question her instructions.” 

Zuko changes his demeanor, just for a moment, and gives her a gentle smile. “But I know you would have done something if you could’ve. I’ve made a grave mistake in allowing Minji to frighten you all as much as she does.” He straightens up again, feeling his veins begin to protrude from his neck. 

Appreciative of his words, Kira quickly bows, “I will do as I am told, Firelord Zuko. Please be safe, and bring her back to us.” 

Zuko felt his cheeks tint, a quiet hue of pink. It wasn’t so much that she caused it, but really her warm words. There was a sisterhood between the Ladies in Waiting, and he couldn’t help but admire the want to make sure each other were safe and sound. Even knowing that your placement is higher than the rest, you were able to create such bonds that transcends ranks. 

“Do not worry,” Zuko lulls, “Sai will come home.” 

Kira latches to his words, prayers swarming her mind for your safety and his calmness. As he begins to hurry towards the exit, Kira calls out to him, with another thing he should know. “Firelord Zuko!” She calls out, having him halt completely. He barely glances back at her, his eyes in view between the strands of his long, dark hair. “Lady Sai is in… very lascivious attire, upon Madam Minji’s instructions. You may not recognize her.” 

Any shred of warmth has long left Zuko, and an unfamiliar person takes over. A buzzing torments his head, almost like the rationale in his mind clocked out for the day. Zuko knew better than to revert back to this, but then again, he was not himself at this moment. He lets out a deep, deep sigh, “...thank you for letting me know.”

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The guards at the front of the palace were extremely surprised when they see Zuko open the front doors of the palace. 

He stood there, pure disgust on his face as the front guards bowed at their posts. He goes up to one of them, waiting for them to straighten up before meeting eyes with their leader. The guard’s gulp could be heard from oceans away, his being felt small in the presence of his leader. “F-Firelord Zuko,” the guard acknowledges him, his voice slightly strained from anxiety. 

“This morning, did you see Lady Sai leave the palace?” Zuko was not going to drag this. He needs information, and he needs it as soon as he requests it. 

The guard goes pale, “y-yes, Lady Sai left the palace grounds just a few hours ago. She was sent to town by Chamberlain Minji.” 

“Right, so my question is: why the fuck did you lot let her leave without escort?” The other guards jumped at his higher, aggressive tone. Zuko was not one to use explicit words, especially considering how much he has grown since he was younger. The once aggressive teenager had become this solemn man, hollow but still kind despite his circumstances that led him to this point. 

The guard’s eyes looked over to his fellow men, who could offer nothing of assistance or solace. Zuko’s intimidating shot all of them, and they were too petrified to even move. For just a brief moment, they felt the presence of Firelord Ozai. “M-my Lord, sh-she did not tell us to escort her into tow–” 

“I’ve let you all get too comfortable,” Zuko interrupts him, a growl in his voice that stunned the guard further. “You do not stray from protocol just because she did not request aid. You escort every lady that leaves this palace, and you bring her back here.”

“I-I… I apologize, My Firelord,” the guard stammers out, bowing so low that perhaps his head will meet the concrete and knock him out from this nightmare. “W-we did not realized that–” 

Before he could even finish, Zuko simply turned around and began rushing down the stairs of the palace. He was so annoyed, he couldn’t be bothered to listen to a half-ass excuse. There was a mental note in his head to do additional training for them, as this was unacceptable and below his standard. 

He was pissed. When he made it down into the city, everyone quickly dropped their daily tasks and immediately bowed. Adults and children alike, though some young ones who didn’t know did not follow suit. Not that Zuko cared, his mind was completely elsewhere. His posse of guards could barely keep up, as Zuko’s stride was at a pace they were not used to. 

He knew this bar well. The Fire Nation Bar was infamous, mainly because its clientele was male-only. He didn’t give a damn about other men’s vices. They could drink or smoke their lives away should they feel inclined to. So long as they did not cause harm to others in the process. 

But Zuko understood what alcohol does to someone. Their right mind goes to the gutter, replaced with the parts of their mind that they keep shut for a reason. 

To think you were in there boiled his blood. 

Without hesitance, he rips open the curtain that served as the door. The dimly illuminated tavern had now been struck by a sudden light of the day. Smoke quickly hurried from the bar, with many eyes suddenly going over to the entrance. Laughter slowly dissolved when realizing what guest arrived in their lounging space. 

“F-Firelord Zuko!” Many of them exclaimed, putting down their drinks to quickly bow. He was disgusted by the many men who attempted to bow, only they were either slumped in their chairs or had completely fallen to the ground in the process. 

But he did not care for them at this moment. Eyes scan the room, looking past the bartenders in order to spot the visiting lords. Even the foul stench of sweat and beer could not wane his search for you. Ambar eyes quickly locate Lord Indra, and something in Zuko finally snapped. 

He pushed past drunk men, shoving tables and stools out of his way, unable to care about causing damage. The visiting lords quickly realized the situation, their eyes wide and full of fear. Robes are quickly being closed, ties shakily being tightened and looped. A few cups fall to the ground, with a few waitresses contemplating to pick them up for the sake of their job, or leaving them to avoid being noticed by the Firelord himself. 

They choose the latter and remain still. 

One lord quickly tries his best to escalate the situation. He rises from his seat, clearly not as drunk as his fellow leaders, and offers Zuko a bow. "Good afternoon, Firelord Zuko,” he hums, the facade of confidence evident in his face and voice. “What a surprise to find you here.” 

“Move,” Zuko said simply. He did not have time for chit chat. In fact, why did he even give him a response? “I’ll move you myself if you prefer.”

The threat proved sufficient, and the lord sat back down, offering sympathetic eyes to Lord Indra. And speaking of, the other lords silently moved out of Zuko’s away, as Lord Indra could be found at the farthest end of the bar. A drink in his hand, his beard still unkempt, and a smirk as cocky as ever. 

And Zuko did not like it one bit.  

Lord Indra, still with a smile, looks up at Zuko, “Firelord Zuko!” He cheers as if he was excited to see him. “What pleasure do we owe for this visit?” 

“Where is she?” Zuko cuts to the chase. 

Lord Indra looks at him, astonished at Zuko’s anger. “My Lord, you surely cannot be serious.” He looks around the room, the other lords baffled at his confidence in speaking to the Firelord. “Over a mere servant? How do you expect to be followed with a spine so soft?”  

Zuko was tired. He looks over at one of the waitresses, “where is the Lady that was with these creatures?” 

The waitress, welled up in trepidation, looked into his eyes fearfully. She gestured to the backroom, which was only meant to be accessed by the workers of the bar. “She’s in there,” the waitress spoke quietly. 

Zuko looked back at his guards, “do not let anyone leave. I’ll be back.” 

He walks past Lord Indra, who freezes from his stride. He tried playing it cool, finishing his beer while looking over at his fellow lords with a lopsided smile. But when he realized how far the lords had moved from him, with spooked expressions, there was a sudden, unsettling feeling crawling up from his toes. 

He knew he was fucked, but he never expected for the Firelord to come out and retrieve you himself. He intended to simply put you in your place before he left, considering the ‘dishonor’ you brought to him. Could he be blamed? He tried to ease his mind. A servant embarrassing him, a lord, has no place anywhere.  

But even his thoughts could no longer coddle him. 

Zuko pushes the curtain away, being met with shelves loaded with ingredients, and dishes (both dirty and cleaned) all about the narrow hall. He looks left and right, before noticing many waitresses surrounding something. Or someone. 

Unease drags itself up his legs, his body feeling the same heaviness as he did this morning. But this time, it was as if something wanted to stop him from looking. From seeing you, but in a way he was dreading. The waitresses looked back and noticed him, quickly bowing before slowly moving out of his way. 

And to his horror, he found you, but it was clear he was too late. 

There you were, sat in a stool, facing away from him. You quietly hissed and whimpered, your arms holding each other so tightly that cuts ensued from the way you dented your fingers into your flesh. Your hair was completely liberated, but those beautiful locks seemed lifeless. 

Kira’s information regarding your change in attire rang true. Zuko’s eyes noticed the white silk dress, which only truly covered your rear and legs. But even that was a stretch, as the garment was completely backless. And that was where the true horror of Zuko’s nightmares was located. 

Clothed pieces of ice were being dabbed on your back, with the two waitresses keeping them pressed against your body while looking back at Zuko. They were frozen, waiting for any sort of words or command from him. But considering the stoicism present in his expression, they offer him a curt bow before removing the ice from your back. 

And there it was: a crooked lash, a blistering red and white burn, from the top left of your scapula, ending towards the lower right of your back. 

You glance back at Zuko, and he finally gets to see your face, despite how much it immediately broke him. Cheeks were flushed, and shiny with hot tears. You wanted to offer him a smile, but even your body could not lie. All you could muster was a quiet, “Zuko…” 

And that… that was enough for him. 

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