#findingmrright

From Mr. Right to Mr. Business Without Brains.

Finding Mr Right 1.

Love has a way of taking us on unexpected journeys, surprises, and even occasional disappointment.

In a quest to find our perfect match, we sometimes stumble upon individuals who appear to be Mr. Right, only to discover a twist that turns them into Mr. Jerk.

Join me as we explore other sides of love and the challenges of finding that special someone.

It all started on a sunny day. I met someone who seemed to check all the boxes of what I thought Mr. Right should be.

Charming, charismatic, well mannered, and playful, he knows boundaries, and, yeah, with a hint of mystery, he had me intrigued from the first moment.

As any responsible Mr. Right would, he invited me for lunch, and I was pleased to be invited.

My date and I decided to meet for a casual dinner since I was busy for lunch and get to know ourselves better. But alas, fate had other plans.

My dear Mr. Right immediately transformed into my business without brains.

The very moment we sat down, everything seemed to have gone wrong.

Imagine ordering a simple salad, only to reach out for the dressing, and mistakenly, the salad fell on you. Haha.

I hurried to the restroom and got myself cleaned up, but that was it for me. I didn't want to be rude, so I managed to continue.

All he spoke about was himself and his business. I wasn't given a chance to speak; it was all about him.

Fortunately, after praying for an excuse, I received a phone call, and there I had to leave.

He offered to drive me home, I said no, but I wasn't given the opportunity to refuse.

We got to my house, and Yo! He came at me for a kiss, and I was like, I don't do that.

Of course, my life follows certain principles, and just like wow, he got all mad and angry about how he has never been rejected, and after raining insults on me, I smiled and left him there.

I was surprised I didn't react since I'm the hot-tempered type, but I guess he wasn't worth my strength.

So dear readers, don't be confused; love is patience, love is mature, and love wouldn't give you pain, embarrass you, or insult you.

Don't let Mr. Business, without brains, treat you like trash.

You'd find your Mr. right; it's just a matter of time.

Who would the next be? My right, or?

I guess we'll find out in my next article, so stay tuned.

Waiting. I”m terrible at it.  I tend to just make things happen, to wait would be painstaking and uneventful in my view.  However waiting seems to be where I’m at these days... waiting to hear from God, waiting to hear if I got the job I so desire, waiting to see what my next season of life will be, waiting to find Mr. Right, waiting to see how I can get my finances in order, waiting for answers, waiting, waiting, waiting.

I believe I’m an expert in the world of waiting, you see I’ve been waiting for Mr. Right for 36 years now... of course some of those years I didn’t even know what a Mr. Right was...by now I have a good idea of what I’d like him to be like.  Now I do not always seem to be looking for him, but God knows I’m still waiting.  Some girls search out on their own to find him, others seek to serve locally for a chance encounter to find him, me on the other hand - I just wait.  Perhaps I should be seeking him out, showing up at places where I think I might find him... but there is something in the waiting, I truly do not want to give up.

What do I enjoy in the waiting? The longer I wait, the more I learn about myself and the more I will see him as an answered prayer, I have so longed for.  To give God the credit in my Mr. Right seems to be worth the wait.  To reveal to others how waiting on God to reveal the next best thing, is far more rewarding than taking matters into my own hands and not waiting.

When I’m waiting...I tend to spend more time talking to God.  I enjoy knowing His plan is in action, as He knows I am clueless or perhaps vaguely aware of the plan. I am able to focus on other items in my life while I wait.  You know a women’s best feature: multi-tasking.  While I wait...for the man, the job, the future plans...I learn to live in the moment.  I learn that I should live today to it’s fullest, because one day the wait for the answer will be over and the view from this waiting pool will soon become different, as I wait for the next item.  

Waiting on God requires discipline, faith and a whole lotta trust...that what you are waiting for will come about; yet we all know it might not look like what we envisioned.  I can not lie... waiting to hear if I got a new job, has been difficult and frustrating at times; but knowing God is with me during the wait, that my season of waiting has allowed He and I to talk on a daily basis, to search His Word for truth to hold onto, to know that He will be glorified when the wait is over... why would I not want to live in this waiting game?  When I wait, He gets the Praise!  When I wait, He gets the attention!  When I wait, He is the only way it happened... so waiting -- Yes, I am thrilled to be waiting on Him to reveal the next steps because when I wait, I see Him and others do too. 

Enjoy the wait...it might just be your best season!

When I lived in Beijing, China I often explored different bars frequented by the expat community. Living in another country gave me a different perspective on courtship, love and dating. I write a lot about labels on Twitter and in my articles and I think this experience in China can elucidate what the other team is batting with. Arm yourself ladies, this is your ammo. Education is just information. The wise woman will use this to her advantage at the appropriate times. The less seasoned dater may misfire. See if you spot yourself in this article.

Here are some finds that I believe single women on the quest for love may find interesting.

"Bar girls" were common place in you guessed it, bars! How would one spot a bar girl? Though not outright called prostitutes everyone knew based on the way they dressed, where they hung out (bars) when they hung out (atmospheres with dark lighting and alcohol) what they were up to and there was no second thought

We don’t have bar girls in the US. We do have their equivalent which is versions of “girls gone wild types” at bars. "Locals" we're the women who based on their style of dress you could deduce their values based on their cultural Upbringing. Their style of dress was cutesy and at times with a penchant towards glitter and sequins if one was being extravagant. Just as you can tell based on how someone is dressed if they're not from your city or country, so too can men deduce what they may be able to expect from you. Sure it's stereotyping and other factors come into play---conversation, touch, etc those other indicators are for another article. Outfits, stances and choice of location to hang out communicate what type of girl you are whether you like it or accept it or not. Men and women alike are looking for clues and indicators to learn about a person. Are you sending a aligned, coherent message or mixed signals? Is your style of dress mismatched with your actions? Are you disappointed when a guy acts in a way you didn’t expect? Chances are you’re actions and the way you present yourself are not communicating from your it girl mode from the inside out.