How many of us who have been through mental health struggles have often said that we feel nothing? How often have we said that we have nothing? What is there for us when it feels like there's no worth in life?

Kei Urana's Gachiakuta has one answer to avoid falling into a state of despair.

The story is about a young boy named Rudo Suberec, who finds himself thrown into the deep pit of society, appropriately titled the Pit, after being framed for the murder of his foster father, Regto. In the Pit, Rudo encounters a world filled with trash and monsters that inhabit it. He later discovers a group of superpowered humans (called Givers) known as the Cleaners and helps them out all while trying out to figure out the truth and discovering his own potential as a Cleaner.

In one encounter with a rival Giver (known as a Raider) in Volume 3, Rudo struggles to unlock his power while witnessing the Raider mercilessly attack one of his colleagues. The Raider says the person wasn't worth anything of value to anyone. This triggers the following flashback of Regto from Rudo.

A young Rudo once felt that because he was abandoned, he's deemed worthless because he can't follow anyone's instructions. Regto is right in saying if you're feeling nothing, a major reason why you feel that way is because you don't have something you like or anything you really want to do.

For me when I had major depression, while I did have friends and hobbies, I still felt nothing at times. They helped a bunch, but I think about what Regto was saying about seeing and experiencing things in the 3rd image. Having a support system and hobbies are great, but it felt like I needed to face reality as well and see it for what it is. Over time, I started to understand what was really important to me. I needed to see other people's experiences offline and see for myself how they live. Then maybe I'll end finding something I truly like that would keep me attached to this world beyond material interests.

To me, I found worth in learning about people opening up with their struggles and realizing that positivity wasn't the total answer to life's problems. What I really wanted to do was to stop chasing happiness. What I wanted to do was slow down in the face of a fast-paced world that demands so much from us. I felt I hated myself because I couldn't keep up. I wanted to stop being on social media so much because it was preventing me from seeing the full picture of life.

That's why I want people with mental health conditions (especially teenagers) to be able to experience things as much as they can. Meet people or a community who can help guide you in a way where you have control of how you want to feel alive and make a real difference in life. Face your past and realize that you can keep the pain of it to a minimum. You are more than just a victim of awful circumstances. Harness your core values.

And more importantly, find a way to describe and express the feelings you have that are driving you to feel empty. Rudo couldn't put to words what he was feeling, but knew something was off. Regto was able to explain things clearly and this subsequent moment happened below.

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            Stop doing.

Our lives are not measured by what we do. Not even our good deeds. It doesn’t matter what good deeds we do to make ourselves feel better and make the world better. Life isn’t about what we do to leave a legacy behind after we die.

            What are you living for? Really think about it. Where do you find life? Where do you find worth? Where do you find acceptance and love? Where do you find justification for your existence? Why are you even here?

            Why don’t we know the answers to these questions? Because we should know the answers to these questions. It is what keeps us going. It fuels our decisions and our thoughts. It determines where we find our worth.

            If you measure your life by what you do and how successful are you, then ask yourself; what is success? Who created what is successful and what is not? If your success equals your worth, you are letting the world decide your worth. But the truth is, the world thinks you are worthless.

But thank God that it is not the world’s place to determine your worth. And it’s not your place either. We are all searching for justification, satisfaction, our reason for existence, and why we matter to the world. You can do all you want to leave a mark on the world. You can change lives, leave a legacy, live the “dream” life, but you will never be satisfied.

Jesus died on the cross to bring us life and have satisfaction in Him. Sin strayed us away from perfect love that would fill us up so we wouldn’t search in empty places to find fulfillment. Sin covers its emptiness and disgust in beauty so that we are easily enticed. But sin pushes us to strive to achieve perfection and it only yields brokenness.

So Jesus conquered sin for us. He lived the perfect life we could not live and freely gave it to us. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). Jesus took our sins—our imperfect lives—on the cross and covered us in his perfect life. “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). We were not just fixed, we were made completely new because of Christ. We don’t have to strive for perfection anymore because we are covered in Jesus’ perfection. God’s love for us shown on the cross is our justification.

            “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by the grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ” (Romans 3:23-24). We were given free and perfect justification. Justification that frees us from the need to perform and struggle to make our lives meaningful. Jesus made our lives meaningful and it had nothing to do with what we do or who we are.

            “For I was crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

And we don’t have to clean up our lives to receive this justification. Jesus wants us to come to him with our weaknesses and imperfections. And the minute we start to try to do good works, we are trying to justify ourselves and make our lives look good. But our own justification will never be enough. Perfect justification comes from Jesus alone and it satisfies and frees. We are free from the need to perform. We are free from the need to continue to do good deeds, to never fail, to never let people down—because we are justified by the blood of Jesus Christ.

When Jesus died on the cross he was treated as if he did everything that we did so that we would be treated as if we lived as he did. And this was not given to us because we did anything. It was given to us because of his mercy. That is pure love.

But what does it look like knowing our good deeds are worthless, what others think is worthless, the impact we make is worthless? All that holds worth is our free and perfect justification from Christ. So while the world keeps saying “do, do, do,” Jesus says, “receive, receive, receive. Receive my free gift of righteousness.” “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). All we have to do is remain; apart from Him we can do nothing. Nothing. When we remain, when we receive His gift, Jesus is all that matters.

So we don’t need to try anymore. We don’t need to clean up our lives or do good things so the world can determine our worth. Our worth comes from the fact that the perfect and all-powerful Father loves us with an unfailing and everlasting love. Love does not exist outside of the Father. So we don’t need to look anywhere else.

So what’s the point of doing good things if we are covered in perfection, loved no matter what, and good deeds are worthless? My answer to this question is, how can you remain in Jesus and love God with “all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind” (Luke 10:27) and continue living selfishly? If you remain in Jesus, your life will overflow out of that love. Your life will overflow Jesus.

A good deed does not inherently have worth. Nothing you do makes God love you more or less. And nothing you do gives you more or less worth. Nothing. You are already loved beyond your comprehension.

            Out of thankfulness for this gift of love, you live for God. You don’t focus on this mission trip, the fact that you helped that person, your good grades, the amount of people that complimented you, the awards you have, the amount of times you shared the Gospel, or the sacrifices you have made to help others. You simply live in the justification that you have been given and know that your good deeds are worthless because you have already been justified. When you realize that they are worthless and you simply do them because you have been justified, that is when they become good. Because they are selfless and because you are bringing glory to God alone.