Tokyo Tarareba Girls - No More What Ifs
I went through a stage of burnout late last month, so I decided to binge a manga series that I always wanted to check out. So I chose Akiko Higashimura's Tokyo Tarareba Girls. I always wanted to check the manga out since I was a fan of Princess Jellyfish. I knew what to expect from fan reactions, but damn, Tokyo Tarareba Girls maybe wasn't the best choice to read when you're dealing with burnout and the anxiety that can lead to it. At the same time, I appreciated what Higashimura wanted to tell her readers with the manga.
Spoilers about the ending of the manga incoming.
Tokyo Tarareba Girls is about three women in their '30s who are trying to find romance. Rinko (the main heroine), Kaori, and Koyuki have spent their lives focusing on their careers to the point that they appear to be "undesirable" in the eyes of society. All three come together at Koyuki's family-owned pub to eat and complain about what their lives have become. One day, a handsome, young man comes into the picture and his appearance starts to change the lives of the three women in ways they didn't expect.
To be blunt, Tokyo Tarareba Girls is a harsh look at women who feel pressured to find love once they achieve a certain level of personal success. Due to modern-day advancements in women's rights being acknowledged, women can do whatever they want to do (for the most part) in life. At the same time, women may feel they want to settle down and perhaps start a family. But because of how much they want to make sure their happiness is important, they get trapped between what they really want and what society wants for them.
At the core of this are "what if" thoughts. These thoughts are heavily featured in the manga in the form of two cloud-like creatures called Milt and Liver. Milt and Liver are basically two of the main things that the girls eat at the pub they hang out at. Rinko, Kaori, and Koyuki all begin to hallucinate over them when they encounter men who look like they could be the ones for them, but happen to have quite a lot of baggage to them. Milt and Liver cause the three girls to doubt and shame themselves over and over again throughout the nine volumes of the manga. They would make statements like "What if you did something bad? HUH?, "Maybe you should have done this/that when you had the chance," "Of course you would do something like this/that, and "Are you going to run away?"
All of this, despite how funny the manga is, makes it heavy to read. I found myself relating to one of the girls, Kiyoko. She fell in love with a man named Yoshio, who happened to be married with two kids and living separately from them. I fell in love with a married woman older than me with a child. She flirted with me despite her being married. There were times when she said things like "Let's sleep together." She did later divorce, but actually showed no real interest in me romantically. That whole relationship made me think so many "what ifs." What if she was really into me despite being married? What if I tried to make a proper move on her? What if I got caught? What if my parents knew what I was getting into? Later on, I asked myself what if we really got together and whether that would make me happy.
It wasn't nice to revisit memory lane, but I know now that relationships like Kiyoko's where you have to keep constant secrets are doomed to fail.
It's impossible to not think about "what if" as people get older. Everyone goes through multiple chances and opportunities and we never get the best knowledge on when to take them or let them go. We get bombarded with "what if" thoughts because they do serve a purpose. They often help us get our minds set for future behavior. They do sharpen our decision-making skills for the better. Mistakes are meant to be learned from, right?
Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships where people are complicated, "what if" thoughts can be disastrous. We see instances in Tokyo Tarareba Girls where the heroines in our story idealize "what ifs" with the problematic men they meet and thinking that it will all work out in the end. There's just so much anxiety they experience and to be fair, it's warranted due to how much harder it is to thrive as a woman compared to a man.
Near the end, the "what if" creatures that plagued the girls start to go away. Rinko goes through a moment with a man from her past who she thought was the one who got away and laments her "what if" nature. But the man told her he wasn't a "what if" person and said that it's because of Rinko that he's become a better person. Rinko realizes "because" is the answer to the "what ifs." Because she met her friends, because she met a guy who exposed her to new experiences, because she was able to have a socially active life, Rinko can say she's content in the way she has lived her life. It's cognitive reframing at its finest.
But the harsh truth that everyone knows is that intrusive thoughts like Milt and Liver are still a scary thing. Reframing them like Rinko did works. What also works is telling yourself that thoughts are nothing more than thoughts. They say nothing of who you are as a person. Thoughts aren't actions. Sometimes, they are nothing more than spam. Thoughts aren't dangerous unless you let them be that way. I do think the best way to take on anxiety when it involves relationships is to actually befriend it. Accept the thoughts that come into your way and tell yourself that you understand that they're trying to "help" you. Anxious thoughts are filled with good intention, but they tend to go haywire. There's definitely some value in what they say, but they can't be the ones in control. Just talk to those thoughts like a friend, thank them for their concern, and tell them that you got this anyway.
Even though they mess up a lot, the vulnerabilities of the main cast of Tokyo Tarareba Girls make them easy to root for. We all struggle with "what if" thoughts. My whole life has been a huge "what if" due to my depression diagnosis. But like Rinko, I'm grateful for the experiences that I went through because it's allowed me to be a person who's emotionally honest and brave. I'm not dating anyone and while it does get lonely at times, I'm trying my best to be someone who doesn't want to turn a potential romantic player into the only friend I have in my life.
Because (not what if) that's what depression has done - it has allowed me to be a lot more human than if I lived a more normal life. To think that a manga, one that will always feel evergreen because modern dating as an older adult still sucks at times, reminded me of this fact.
To quote the last line of the series, oh, you Tokyo Tarareba Girls.
Side Note: I also read Tokyo Tarareba Girls Returns 1 and the entirety of Tokyo Tarareba Girls Returns 2. All I can say about the first part is that I'm happy for Kaori and regarding the second part, a lot of men suck in figuring out the right women for them. Also, Higashimura coming to Anime NYC 2026 is a shocker!














