#finale!!!

Hello summer, goodbye to my heart Blue skies and blue eyes, a hell of a way to start Letting him go would be the hardest part Hello summer, goodbye to my heart Yeah, he packed his bags, filled his tank with gas Man, it went by so fast Too good to last, yeah, just like that It was goodbye summer, you tore me apart Blue eyes and blue skies fade into the dark Letting go is the hardest part... Letting him go will be the hardest part Goodbye summer, hello to my broken heart ---

You were chilling on your balcony with your mom and your two best friends. You had a glass in your hand of sparkling juice, acting fancy when they were all allowed wine and you obviously were not. It was a great day, just so beautiful.... you wished it wasn’t just them hanging with you. Your phone rang, landline not mobile, so even though he was in your head he hadn’t quite reached your phone yet. “Oh, Geeez! I better get that! Hang on!” “If it’s that freakin’ man tell him to get his ASS back to Miami You’re PREGNANT!!” “Amanda geez! Shut up!” You laughed, placing your glass on your table you crossed to the phone. “Hello?” “Hello. Is this F/N M/N Ervin?” You raised an eyebrow, who the heck would ever call you by your full name? If it wasn’t Danny and his sarcastic ass, which it wasn’t. “This is she?” “M’am... Does a Daniel Robert Rayburn live with you?” Well, that was relative, Danny had around 5 different addresses and he was currently living in the Keys. “I guess when he’s in Miami he does....” You trailed, and got suddenly worried “... Wait. Who is this? This seems kinda official...?” “This is Islamorada police department m’am.” “... What did he do?!” It was your first thought “Is he in trouble?!” Danny had been in trouble many a time for stupid things but he never ever gave your name or address. Especially in Miami. But you guessed he wasn’t in Miami anymore. Danny’s voice suddenly resounded in your head – The Key’s wasn’t done with him – what kind of trouble had he got himself into down there? You’d thought sending Nolan cash was weird – but it was Danny and it didn’t have you worried until now. “M’am...” his tone of voice scared you suddenly, “M’am... we regret to inform you...” “No... No... No,No,No,No,No....” you started before he’d even got the words out; “... Daniel Rayburn’s body was found...” “NO!!” It wasn’t anything like you’d ever thought... it was worse. So much worse. Your knees gave out and you slid down the kitchen wall; weak. He was trying to calm you down, he was trying to tell you something else... but... your world had stopped.

You were sobbing uncontrollably and had no idea what to do, let alone how to stop yourself. Your scream had not gone unnoticed by your friends and your mom, who all ran in. They all looked confused, concerned, they were all talking to you, but, you couldn’t hear them either. Your ears were ringing, echoing... and you had a horrible feeling that all the echoes were Danny... that just made you cry even more...

Your mom took the phone; “Hello?... No... This is her mother...” and then quietly whilst your friends wound their arms around you, in the knowledge that whatever it was you needed comforting; “...oh. Oh my god. What happened?” You realised that you had cradled your stomach, the bump was small but it was showing... This baby... and Nolan... that was all you had left. Just like that Danny was gone; your lover, your EVERYTHING was gone. The life you’d been trying to plan out the future you had dreamed about, GONE. In 10 seconds.

And John Rayburn didn’t even have the guts to call you from his own police department.

 ***

2 Weeks Later…

“Y/N...?” Your moms voice barely registered... “Y/N... honey...” you twisted towards her... propping yourself up on your elbow. You were wearing sleep shorts and one of Danny’s shirts. But not just one of Danny’s shirts – because, hell, that’s all you’d been wearing these days - But one of his chefs’ whites. D.Rayburn embroidered not just across the pocket... but across your heart.

You mom sat at the end of your bed. You were a mess and you knew it. You had barely slept, barely eaten, you left the bed if you so happened to be hungry, if you needed coffee or fresh air... and every so often you changed your shirt. You wanted to be surrounded by him. Because if he couldn’t hold you then at least his shirts damn well could. “Hmmm?” “Darling... don’t you think you should...” she stopped, even your parents were finding this difficult. They both loved Danny. They loved you together. But even they could not fathom how utterly devastated you were. You hadn’t done anything in days. You couldn’t listen to music, you couldn’t read, or write, or work or... you just lay here. And every thought of Danny made you cry, only now you couldn’t cry anymore. You were done. You were completely numb; empty and broken. You rolled onto your back; “Mama... I don’t... I don’t want to do anything....” “I know...” she took your hand “Baby I know... but... it’s not just you...” she placed a hand on your stomach “I know he’s gone... baby... I know... but if you want any part of him to remain yours, you need to take care of this baby...” “Devan...” tears ran down your face again “...Danny named... our baby... Devan...” you sobbed between words. And this time your mom cried too; “Devan??” She almost laughed “that’s so Danny...” then she began cried again “Please... baby please... no more tears... I don’t want to see you crying any more darling, please...” You rubbed your eyes “I can’t stop... momma... I will never see him again... He’s gone...”

Ever since Islamorada had called you, you’d been here. Your friends, and his, had sent you a bunch of messages that you couldn’t bring yourself to face – even though you thought you should be surrounding yourself with support right now, you didn’t want any of it. You wanted to be alone. You’d made the effort once, in 2 weeks and you’d seen Nolan. But with the both of you just in tears it wasn’t exactly the best of social interactions. You couldn’t face that apartment alone; you couldn’t be in that bed without Danny knowing he wasn’t coming back. Everywhere you looked you knew you would see just another memory of him. You didn’t want any of that, as much as you DID want it. You would drown in your sorrow and memory there; or you would drown in something else. And you knew enough to know that it was a road you couldn’t go down. Not with Devan. Your unborn baby was counting on you to get through this – but right now, you weren’t sure if you could.

 **

 The next time you ventured out of your room for coffee your father was at least glad to see you were wearing a different variation on your Danny shirt fascination. You poured yourself half a coffee, then stopped, tipping it out and pouring yourself a large glass of water instead. You opened the cupboard and started gathering together anything that made you think of healthy; of real actually good food. Because Danny had always got exasperated at you eating anything else – ever since that first trip shopping he’d basically been in charge of your kitchen supplies. And he’d end up on long rants about what was good for what – meaning you better believe the second you’d told him you were pregnant he was calling you every time he thought of something else you should or shouldn’t be eating… You pulled out of your back pocket a prenatal pill packet and swept your hair back into a ponytail. “...You doing okay?” You turned to him; pouring out cereal, switching milk for yoghurt, you threw on a bunch of seeds and berries and sat on the kitchen counter. “No... but...Mom’s right about my baby...” Your dad crossed to you; “That man would have given you the stars...” “He did...” you said through a mouthful of cereal “...He always did...” You father took a breath; “... Y/N...I would have let him give you the world. So now... I want to give you a piece of his.” You took another spoonful and swallowed thoughtfully; “You what?” He smiled, placing some papers on the counter “... I would have done this so much sooner, if he’d let me. And I would do anything to get you to smile again Estrellita... And he... He would want me to...” You raised another spoonful to your mouth and swallowed before bringing the papers closer. Then you froze; “You- Oh my god! You-!” Printed at the top of the page was an address you knew all too well. Viva Caputa. “It’s in your name. Not mine.” You held the piece of paper close to your chest, looking up at him with the spark in your eyes he wanted to see so badly; “... How?!” “As you can imagine. It was an expensive piece of real estate. He owed a lot of money. The loan was huge... That restaurant has one hell of tag attached. But you think that mattered to me? All I’m asking is you go out there, and you put Danny Rayburn back on the map.” You looked back at the paper “It’s all mine?” “Yours.” You pressed your hands together in front of your lips “...I need to go back...” He tilted his head; “Yeah?” “Before I do this...” You nodded to yourself decisively. “Danny said the Keys wasn’t done with him... I don’t think it’s done with me either...”

 ***

You wandered into the police station stoic, calm almost. But you weren’t sure if that was just because you were numb to it all. Or whilst you were here you had to be numb to it all. You approached the front desk; “Miss Y/N Ervin. I was told I could pick up the articles of Mr. Daniel Rayburn.” “Yes, M’am... what relation are you?” “I’m not. I’m his girlfriend.” You noticed the person hesitate as you didn’t use ‘was’. “... He lives with me... I’m the one that was called when you found him. So, if it really matters that I’m not related to him you better find me someone to talk to...” You had it up to here with anyone so much as mentioning Danny in passing, so if they told you you couldn’t collect his things you were likely to end up arrested yourself. “Hermannaaaa!” You turned to Marco’s almost joyous tone; “Mi hermanita! What can I do for you?” “I just... needed to collect his things... Marco, then I’ll go...” “Ay! Say no more!” He turned to the desk “Get all the paper work for Danny Rayburn ready I’ll deal with her.” “But, Sir, she’s not-” “Do I make myself clear?” His voice turned authoritative and the man behind the desk replied weakly as Marco steered you out of the reception area; “You’re really showing you know!? Kids are going to look good on you!” He beamed, for once you were actually glad of a little positivity. “Do we know if it will be Daniel or Daniella yet?” He weaved you down a corridor into the evidence room. “Devan. Actually. And no, I don’t want to know.” “Devan? Danny’s choice?” “It’s what he gave me... I can hardly change it now.” “No, I would think... Coffee? Can you have coffee? Water?” “Actually coffee would be great...” “Atta girl...!” He sat you down and approached a different counter; “Can you collect all the cleared evidence relating to the Wayne Lowry case that belonged to Danny Rayburn please?” “Of course... Is there anything that didn’t clear?” “... Well I’d hope not... Check into it...” Marco turned back to you “I’ll be right back Hermana!” And off he went again; leaving you alone with your thoughts before he came back with two cups of coffee. “It’s super-hot and not that great but it’s still coffee...” He sat with you to wait for evidence, “As far as I know all his stuff is clear. No-one’s come to claim it as yet... I wasn’t sure if you’d even want to come. But, I guess material is better than nothing.” “Is his truck here?” “The Chevy? Likely in impound; I’ll take you ‘round. Did you drive down?” “Nah. With the full intention of driving back.” “Oh. Then, by all means we’ll get the truck. Uh... now, you can’t have weapons... and you can’t have illegals, obviously...” You put your head in your hands; “God I knew it couldn’t be good.” “We’ll deal with them, Y/N... I promise.” “I appreciate it Marco. I do... I just...” You were at a loss for words again, so just sat in silence and sipped your coffee. You were glad of something hot running through your system at least. Finally the lady behind the desk came back with a box. “Marco, here’s his cleared evidence.... There are a couple of uncleared pieces, if you want the paperwork...?” “Yeah, lemmie take a look.” You had the feeling Marco would likely just hand it all over. There was always something about him that you really liked, Meg didn’t know what she was missing. He motioned you to follow him into another room and pulled the chair out for you; “Let’s get this done, sweetie, then you can get on your way home. I wouldn’t want to stay here longer than I had to either...” He took the lid off the box and surveyed the contents for a minute “... Huh! His bag must be in a locker.” He fished out some keys secured with yellow tape “It’s cleared, though. Let’s see... those look like car keys... wallet... photographs... oh- I see.... phone?” He produced the flip phone that looked like it had seen better days. You’d always cracked up at it. Who was using a flip phone in 2015?! “.... I mean there’s cigarettes and a lighter in here! You’re not a smoker right?” “The red lighter?” “Significant?” “I’m not sure that even matters to me anymore, it’s him...” Marco nodded, and you knew he knew he didn’t quite understand. “... Y/N... I’m sorry to bring it up, but... Do you know what happened?” “...I’d rather not think about...” “But they told you the story right? About Lowry? And how they found him but how he actually-“ You nodded vigorously to get him to stop; “God, geez... I’m sorry... that was over the line I... I’ve just upset you I know...” You took a deep breath to stop any more tears from forming “Why do you say... story, like that?” “I’m asking if you believe it. You knew him, Y/N. Even John said nothing he said surprised you. Maybe you knew Danny better than anyone. I’m wondering if you’re buying what they are selling.” “You think it wasn’t Lowry?” You tilted your head confused “I mean, the end result is the same. Story or no.” “When you last talked to him... He didn’t... say anything, or..?” “You know he came back? He got all the way back to Miami before he turned back around and two days later, he was gone. That’s what I know.” You didn’t really mean to snap at him, but it hurt to remember that you’d held Danny in your arms back in Miami and thought he was finally home.  Marco walked you around the back of the station to the car compound. The old black Chevy sat alone; worn but still good. You couldn’t help but smile – exactly like the man who drove it. “I’ll go open this locker...” He handed you the box “This is yours now, Y/N. I know you’ll take good care of it...” He jogged back, clearly intent on not holding up your drive back to Miami. You turned back to the truck, fishing the key out of the box you unlocked the passenger door. Placing the box gently onto the passenger seat you studied it for a moment and thought about maybe belting it in. “Here! I’ve even signed out your restricted stuff..!” He handed you a plastic wallet of paper; “They look like pay checks, and a bunch of stuff they found in the glove box... some USB... I guess they found something on there but, tough. Oh, and, that phone won’t mean a thing without this...” The smaller bag between his fingers contained none other than a SIM card. “I figured, his voice mail would be somewhere you’d want to go... From time to time...” “Marco, I... don’t know what to say...” “I don’t want you to say anything Hermanita... I already know you’re thankful... You just need to say you’ve collected everything at the front desk and I can set you free... I’m assuming you don’t want to see John?” “No. I don’t want to see any of that family... it’s just... No...” Why would you? You didn’t think they deserved him – and yet for the last few days of his life they got to have him, and you didn’t. “What did he say to you when he got back to Miami?” “He didn’t. He wouldn’t... and now you’ve said... That’s what worries me.” “Shoot, I’m sorry.” “Whatever... I just don’t think seeing any of them is a good idea...”  “This seems like a dumb question... I’m not even sure it’d make you feel better... but, do you want to see-” you knew where Marco’s line of questioning was going and you cut him off, with a sad smile; “I know how I want to remember him Marco. I can’t see him. Not like that.” He placed a clipboard in your hands; “This is it. From front desk… Just let me check there’s no more…” He rubbed your shoulder “I am, truly sorry Y/N… You were good together. If there was anyone Danny was trying his best for… gonna change for… it was you.” * You were leaning against the car signing off the final paperwork when Marco came back outside, final check complete. You wanted to get out of here, but a lot was weighing on your mind. “Can I see it.” “What?” “The case file. I want to see what you’re doing. Is there anything I could be helping with? Do my answers to your questions… help?” It wasn’t a police interview he was conducting, but everything you said about Danny, it could help them uncover what had really happened. And to you, there was nothing more important. His eyes shifted, and he looked a little uncomfortable before he lowered his voice “Guess I can show you the room. But I didn’t show you or tell you anything. We have to be quick and quiet.” You nodded, you were down with that.

 Marco pushed you gently ahead of him into the room when he’d checked it was all clear. Your eyes wandered the board; falling immediately on the mugshot photograph. “Sorry—?!” You blinked twice “is that really a mugshot?!” “Direct from Miami.” “I don’t know whether to laugh or ask for a copy...” You ran your fingers over the glossy photograph, it made you hurt but…You had to admit to yourself it was gorgeous… You still weren’t sure if it’d hit you that he was really gone yet… But you knew you missed him. God, did you miss him. “You’re calling him Daniel?” “Mmm. Official stuff.” You took a breath “And you’re sure he drowned.” “Positive...” You sat back on one of the desks, pressing your fingers to your lips “I can’t take it Marco...” He walked over slowly, to sit next to you and give you time “... it’s so...” you couldn’t even find the word in your vocabulary “... The idea he was murdered was bad enough.” You were surprised at the strength in your sentence and opted to continue “... But at least... If he was shot, or if they’d done something quick... heck, explosions can be quick right?” That was the cover, after all. “...It would have been over... you know, he would have died and that was it... but...” you shook your head “In the final moments of his life... and what I have to live with knowing... is that in the final moments of his life, Danny suffered. He had to fight for breaths he couldn’t take... As if he hadn’t suffered and fought his ENTIRE life. That isn’t how it was meant to end for him. It shouldn’t have to end that way for anyone. What did he think about?? Was he scared...? Did he think about me? His kids? Did he beg for it not to end like that?! Didn’t Danny go through enough?!”

Marco knew there was nothing for him to say. Nothing he could say would have the effect you wanted to. Every question was rhetorical. The only person that could answer them, as you had just thoroughly explained, was gone. You looked to him, face and eyes serious. Although you looked numb, hollow. “I’ll do it.” “What?” “Help your investigation. Answer questions. Do anything...” you swallowed the lump in your throat “The monster that murdered the best thing I’ve ever had in my life needs to be caught. Needs justice. Marco, if I don’t help you, I will regret it for the rest of my life...”

*

He sat the tape recorder in front of you; “... I’m not pressing play. Yet. I want you to know I can stop this any time you want me too... you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to. There is no pressure and anytime you want to walk away, just say so...” You nodded “I’m ready, Marco...” He clicked it into place; “Okay... Marco Diaz interviewing Y/N Ervin with regards to the Case of Mr.Daniel Rayburn...” his eyes flicked to yours; “Ms.Ervin, when was the last time you saw Danny?” You knotted your fingers together, and took a deep breath “... Two days before his death. He caught the first bus back from Miami to the Keys... that’s around 5am...” “So, Danny did in fact go back to Miami?” “He was in Miami barely four hours... I must have picked him up around 1:30...” “And he came back to the Keys?” “He said he had unfinished business...” “Did he tell you what that was?” “No.” And you weren’t all that sure you’d have wanted to ask, either. “Did he tell you what he was doing down here in the Keys?” “Apart from working for his parents? No.” He nodded, Marco had a decision to make but he wasn’t about to drag you down that road; “Can you confirm how long you were in a relationship with Mr.Rayburn for...” “Oh... Wow.. uh, nearly... 4 years I guess.” 3 and a half…? Did it matter? It was too short. FAR too short. “Continuously?” You wondered where this was heading “...Yeah.” “Could you explain why he would text Chelsea O’Bannon that he was heading back up to Miami and not you?” Your face possibly said it all, was Marco insinuating Danny was having an affair...? Or... was that a genuine question? Marco leant over the tape “For the record Ms.Ervin looks visibly confused.” “Oh-! I’m sorry!” You shook your head, police investigation. Right. “No. But... are you sure?” “Yes?” “To clarify. Danny didn’t text. Not even me. Why text when he could talk? And boy could Danny talk... He even sent me emails rather than texting I’ve never seen him text anyone.” Marco stared at you hard for a minute “So, you’re saying it’s out of character?” “Very. If Danny was coming back to Miami, he would have told me no exceptions. Even if it was through text. He knows I wanted him back more than anything. No way he wouldn’t tell me. Not even to surprise me.” Then you tipped your head “Moreover if he wasn’t going to tell me I don’t see why he’d tell anyone else.” “He was borrowing her car.” “He’d call. Danny never text.” You were adamant. “Okay... so when is the last time you heard from Danny?” You thought “He called me... between 9-10am? When he got back to the Keys.” He reached for his pen but you shook your head indicating he shouldn’t write that down. “Then he used to call me around the time he’d done his work and I’d finished mine. So, he would have called me the night he got back between 7-8pm...” “And that’s the last you heard?” “Yeah...” “Because the only other point we have between Danny disappearing off the face of the planet and his body being found is that text. Concrete. John said he called and said he was attending the Pier dedication, and he was dressed for it, but he didn’t turn up... You’re essentially telling me he didn’t send the text. Did he call you every night?” You shook your head “... No... sometimes he was super busy or I was, nightly wasn’t normal and it didn’t bother me... it couldn’t have, or he would have called... surely his body...?” “Time Of Death is a lot harder to determine when you burn it...” You looked to the table “You’re telling me any time between him calling me and him being found he could have...?” You lowered your head onto the cool wood “I shoulda called him...” Marco paused the tape “This isn’t your fault... Y/N...” “Oh my god... That’s nearly 2 days!!!” “Y/N sweetheart... we don’t have to do this...” He opened his file to realign his papers causing you to raise your head; you caught a glimpse of a photograph and reached for it. He was quicker, slamming his hand over the top; “No.” “Marco!” “I am not letting you do that to yourself, Y/N, no way in hell! I would never forgive myself!!” “He-” “If you don’t want to see him, you do not want to see those. Trust me, it’s worse.” He took the folder off the table from under your hand and sat on it. “... look I don’t know what’s going on. But do you see what I mean, this story is suspicious at best... Lowry and his crew are dangerous Y/N... I’d rather not get you involved...” He pressed play again “This is Officer Marco Diaz terminating the interview.” Then stop. “... if I need anything else I’ll call. But by the look on your face, and for the sake of your baby I’m not putting you through anymore...” You placed your hand over his “When you know... you’ll tell me?” “Absolutely... you’re gonna be the first person I call. I promise you. Not his family. YOU.”

He walked you back to the Chevy and accepted your hug graciously; “Go on. Get off to Miami. Get home.” “Thank you...For everything…” He shook his head “It’s my job. And for you, it’s nothing. I should be thanking you, Y/N, you might just have given me a break…” You didn’t know if you were smiling in thanks, or in some strange sadistic wish for revenge; “I hope so. Finish it Marco. I know you can.” *** You pulled the Chevy smoothly into the lot next to yours. Finally. His stuff was back home, where it belonged. You stopped by your box to collect your mail on the way up and balanced it on top of Danny’s things. Unlocking your front door you placed the box on your kitchen counter. You touched it gently with your fingertips... Nope. You couldn’t do it. Not yet. You picked your mail up off the top and began to flick through it, bills and the like... Then you stopped suddenly and almost dropped everything; The written envelope was small, inflexible. But it was Danny’s writing. You put the rest of them down and turned it over. It was plain, simply addressed to you. The post mark said it was from the Keys. Posted no sooner than the day before he died. You hesitated for a moment; why was Danny writing to you? He’d seen you not even a couple of days before that. Possibly hours before this letter was posted. What? You couldn’t put it down, though. Looking to your window for a minute you looked back down at the rest of the mail. And noticed something else; Attn: Mr.N Rayburn, C/o: Miss. Y/N Ervin. It was heavy looking, and held a legal watermark in the top corner. “Danny what have you done...” You flipped over the card and delicately prized then envelope open. The card inside was accompanied by a few pieces of folded up paper. Upon opening they looked carefully written. Not rushed. On Rayburn House headed note paper and clipped together with another note; “This is what I went for...” You remembered him writing, about 4 sheets, double spaced, but he’d never read it to you. It had taken him a lot of time and rewrites and you were sure even then he wasn’t completely happy with it because it had to be perfect. He’d clearly copied it out for you... but why? You opened the note card, looking suspiciously like something you’d get from a gas station. His writing was tiny, he’d crammed as much as he could onto all three sides of blank 3x5. And he’d been in a hurry, every so often words blurred slightly where his left hand had smudged the ink as he wrote.  ‘Dearest Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you are going to have to read this. And I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. Not to your face, not this. Because I had to go back. And if I’d have said any of this to you, you never would have let me out of your apartment. I think I’m in a lot of trouble here, and I don’t know what the state of things will be when you read this. I hope better. I fear maybe not. I can’t drag you into this so if you’re thinking of reaching for those car keys don’t you dare. I can’t screw this up for you, for Nolan, for our child. If I get back to Miami I swear to you I will never come back here, but please understand right now I have to be. I left to give that speech and I never did. I should have. You know the majority; I would never keep that from you. But you need to know it all to know why I went back, because they need to know it too...  Hopefully this arrives before my legal documents, so I can quickly explain why I filed them. Maybe that’s why I came back? I’m just glad I got to see you again. Contained in that legal file, for you at least until Nolan is old enough, is my Will. Yes. I know. It is that bad. And I’ll write this a lot I know, but I’m sorry...’ You looked to the other envelope - a Will?! Danny had written a Will?! What the HELL was going on in the Keys?! You remembered the official story that you had to hear through your mom, (thankfully she spared both your best friends and your father from “the truth”) oddly enough she didn’t exactly sound convinced that Danny (the Danny she knew at least) would be capable of any of that.  Come to think of it even Marco had imposed the idea on you that it was a spun story... too convenient... it all fit too well... You turned back to the card and read on; ‘What you may hear, I want you to know is true. I got in with the wrong people and drugs have been involved. But, and this may sound crazy, If what you hear comes from John. Please. Please. I beg you not to believe it. I’m going to tell you the truth right now; if ANYTHING is out of place with what I write I want you to know, this isn’t what killed me.’ You stopped, did he know? Did he know when he went back to the keys he was going to die?!?  ‘I would urge you not to believe anything my family tells you. But you’re a smart girl, and I think you already knew that. When I get back to Miami I will tell you everything, I promise. Every question you ask I will answer. But I can’t even tell you this over the phone… I just had to write it. I hope you understand. Please don’t ask me when you next call. Please, wait for me to be home. I love you, and the last thing I want is to hurt you and my kids. Danny x’ You were confused. So did he think he was going to die or not!? And why didn’t he just TELL you!? Because now he was dead and this note card only told you half a story. It seemed to at least half corroborate the one you’d been told by the police department though – drugs and those in the running of such things who had caught up to him after something had gone wrong? Yet, something told you Danny was trying to tell you if anything happened to him. That wouldn’t be it. You opened the second envelope and unfolded it. The thick sheets of paper didn’t hold a lot of information. Danny’s life was heartbreakingly short to give out. But you smiled, Nolan was the name on the envelope – he was the oldest, it would all go to him first. And he’d be old enough for it not to be care of you for very much longer either. But this was a solid place, a solid address. You carried Ervin as your last name; which meant if there were any problems… Well, no it meant there wouldn’t be any problems. But underneath Nolan’s name was written and any subsequent children. You touched a hand to your stomach. Danny’s Will was for his kids. Absolutely it was, everything he’d worked for was always for Nolan… He would have given anything to yours too. You put the letter down and walked to your calendar making a note to ring the lawyers and Nolan. Maybe it was time to take control of your life and everything that had happened over this past month. There was no better reason than Danny’s children… ***

 3 Weeks Later...

It was odd for you how numb you seemed to get about the whole situation. How you expected yourself to be sad, still, but really felt nothing…? Or nothing you expected yourself to be feeling. Half of that might have been that you had something to work on now. And it was hard work, walking back into that restaurant was tough enough. But now you were helping your dad clear the building and redraw from scratch. With numerous sources and photographs - including Danny's own refurbishment plans. Because you didn't want one single part to look any different when anyone walked in. That meant you had drafted in people who knew Danny and knew the restaurant best to help, and the best days were when Jason and Javi dropped in…

You got up, you headed out, you worked hard, you got tired, you came home. That was your schedule... With the every-so-often check up on 'Devan'... Which you hated. Because all you had left was Danny's children. Nolan was a law unto himself, but if anything happened to your baby now...

You shook that thought away. Maybe you were just bitter. If the Rayburns had held any kind of memorial service for him you certainly hadn't been invited. And you would have found it a little more than ironic if they did. Yeah right, as if they were going to miss him like anyone in Miami did. Nolan wanted answers that you couldn’t give him, so he took off down to the Keys. You were certain from reading Danny's letter alone that he would never get any. But you weren't going to stop him leaving - because yeah, you guessed, the Rayburns were his family too.

You hadn't touched the Keys to Danny's apartment just yet - but you knew there was no way it was going anywhere. Besides, that might finally give Nolan a place of his own. And everything of Danny's that had never quite made it to yours was still stored there... Driving Danny's truck around made things easier from time to time. But even that you'd parked for a bit because you wanted to focus on anything that was remotely positive and not drown yourself in your own sorrow again. You'd only just got out of that one. Marco kept base with you - which was sweet of him. Every so often he'd send you a case update, or call just to see how you and the baby were doing. You liked that, he wanted to tell you a bunch of things about Danny that he'd just "remembered" too. And the fact that you always laughed, rather than cried, over his stories at least made you feel like you were healing.

Today you had decided to take some time for yourself for a stroll down the promenade with the sun, the sea and your music. You were not about to waste a glorious day like this stuck inside. You were returning home with a smile on your face, and possibly minor sunburn, humming along to about the most summer-y songs you could think of when the porter for your building stopped you; "OH! Y/N!" You stopped and turned back "Hey! What's up!" "Package arrive for you..." "Oh! Awesome..!" He placed the large box on the table; "...It uh... Just that it’s from the Keys..." You raised an eyebrow, true, after Danny's letter and all the legal documentation that kept turning up (that you'd also expertly been dealing with) you'd asked him to keep an eye on everything that came from anywhere Danny related. But who from the Keys would want to send you anything? Marco - perhaps? Was he sending more evidence he'd cleared? "Oh... Well that's okay... I'll sign for it..." He nodded and handed the document over for you to clear the parcel. "Thanks!" "It’s okay! I told you I'd keep a look out!" You laughed, "That you did..." Walking to the lifts you studied the address label. Strange. It wasn't Marco’s writing. In fact it wasn't writing you recognised at all. And the return address was a generic Keys zip code... Who or what could this possibly be?

 You erred on the side of caution whilst opening it and were presented with folded plain letter paper. You unfolded it carefully, the writing was the same as on the box - definitely not someone you knew by the tone of the letter.

‘Miss F/N Ervin, Danny wanted you to have these. There is one addressed specifically to you. Of that, I do not know the content. The other two should be self-explanatory. I have followed his instruction.’ What!? It wasn't even signed. You looked back into the box and removed the bubblewrap.

"...Danny... What are you doing now..." You lifted out the contents. All three of them were cassette tapes. You turned them over. Case #573459-83 was imprinted on all of them. You raised an eyebrow "Oh, I get the feeling these aren't playlists...." You set them down and checked the box again but you hadn't missed anything. Danny had sent you a bunch of tapes - or had got someone to send you a bunch of tapes  - but he hadn't included anything himself? You turned the boxes over until you found the one with the tiny sticker in the corner that held your name in Danny's writing. How the hell were you supposed to listen to it though? It wasn't like you owned a cassette player? It wasn't like your mysterious benefactor had sent one either. Was he expecting you to buy one? You picked it up; if you had to have it transcribed or copied across onto something else then someone else could listen to it, and it was clearly meant for your ears only... You stared hard at it for 5 minutes like it would miraculously give you the answer. But thinking on Danny gave it to you. His truck. His truck had a cassette tape player in it!! You remembered that because you'd specifically laughed at him that night after his fathers funeral for getting at you for creating a playlist on your ipod when he hadn't created you one when he had a player in his truck, if he was so adamant they had to be on tape. And he'd asked when the hell you thought he'd had time.

You opened your kitchen draw and grabbed the keys. Time for you to take a drive... * In fact, you drove as far out of Miami as you could to a little spot you knew where you and this tape could be alone. Because you didn't know the content, you knew that driving with it on was dangerous. You held it in your hands for a long time working up the nerve to even put it in the player. You guessed he would be talking on it. And you'd last heard his voice over the phone what seemed like years ago. You weren’t exactly sure how hearing him would make you feel. On Marco’s offer you'd called his voice mail, but it wasn't a great long rambling thing like yours. 3 words didn't feel like enough. it wasn't enough. You felt like this could be too much.  Eventually you placed it into the cassette player - why were your hands shaking, why were you getting so worked up over this!? You took a deep breath, and pressed play. There was static for a few seconds, and then you jumped; "Y/N." That was enough to send a shiver through you. You let out a noise that made you cover your mouth. SHUT UP! DON'T BE SUCH A CHILD! "God. I really hope you never hear this." Danny don't.... don't say this... "If you do... Darlin'... If you're listening right now I am so sorry. I'm so sorry that after so long it didn't work out." Danny don't you DARE. "Sweetheart, I wish I was there. You know I wish I was. You know I was an idiot for wanting to go back. And you let me, and then you let me come back again. I want you to know it was never your fault. So I don't want you to ever think that..." Bit late for that kind of apology... You sat back and crossing your arms you placed them against your forehead and took another deep breath; looking from the player to the sea in front of you. "...I screwed up. Badly. And if you're listening then REAL badly. I do know this. I have protected you, our baby, Nolan... the best that I possibly could have. So I don't want you to worry about that. OK? If there was one thing I did right it was that." He cleared his throat "Okay. Let me confess everything, right now. Everything I did wrong so you know why this is happening to YOU... You know I needed money right? Of course you did you offered help enough. But I was too damn stubborn to accept your help. So, I got in syphoning fuel here... Then... Then I decided I could do more and started running drugs for those guys." You rolled your eyes with a heavy sigh; that idiot. He'd probably started taking them too, you were sure that your apartment wouldn't ever have been a one-time thing. "Only, you know, I ran them through the Inn..." Your eyes widened at that; So, he'd tried to plot the perfect revenge? If Danny went down, the family went down too? "John told me the DEA were investigating... But... Whatever, right? Only - cuz they knew what I was doing - my siblings moved all the drugs. Well, now that just gets me in trouble with the people I'm working for, don't it?" He fell silent for a minute and shuffled around "So you may have noticed I'm recording this on a case tape." Wait, why was he switching gears!? "...Well, it’s the case tape for my case. Cuz I'm sick of it, Y/N. I'm sick of all the lies. So I'm erasing all the bullshit my mom put into the heads of my siblings so they could lie and protect my dad and tell everyone that instead of beating the shit out of me, heck, all my injuries happened in a car accident. My God I just..." You almost paused the tape for a minute. HANG ON. Sally!?! Sally did this!? SALLY did all this!?! What the hell - you'd just let Nolan go to these people!?!? What had you done!?! "...Whatever. The point is, my well thought out plan hasn't exactly worked out. SO John, bigger man as ever, stuck me on a bus back to Miami… John, what a fucking saint he is… Guess he wants me dead, you won’t believe what happened at little Motel… Geez, why worry you with that? You’re gonna be worried enough…” There he was again, putting ideas in your head about who… or what had actually killed him. And although he was trying to reassure you and his kids were safe; you weren’t sure it was the drugs gangs he was really warning you about. It made you instantly wonder what might have been on those last two tapes. Danny had a way of talking that made you think it was the undertones he was hinting at you should really be listening to…“...Only he decided to put the idea in my head that the people I'm working for might have people up in Miami too. Well, that puts you in danger don't it? SO there is no FREAKIN' way I could have stayed. I needed to come back down here and fix this. So that's what I'm doing. Or hope I've done. But, Gezz, Baby if you're listening to this... I'm sorry it didn't work out that way... But I swear to God, you, the kids, everyone from Miami is safe... Because I'm not there. Ironically. I hope I get to destroy this thing. I hope I get to see you again. I hope that I get to tell you all this to your face on your balcony back in Miami and we can laugh about it, and you can call me a fucking idiot. Because I am. And I never have to see the Keys again..." You didn't like his wishful thinking, or him calling himself an idiot. Even if he was. This was the tape that essentially was him telling you he wasn't coming back. You didn't want him to end with him thinking of himself as anything less than perfect. Danny didn't deserve his lasting memory to be him dragging himself down. He was a better person than that - he always deserved better than he thought of himself. Than really ANYONE thought of him. "Y/N - I love you. I love you so much." There was a significant pause in the tape, you'd heard his voice crack, so you knew at the time of recording Danny was desperately trying to hold it together and not cry until he finished this. He had to be strong and finish this for you. Which is why you couldn't cry until you had finished listening to him. But it was coming.... "... I have never loved anybody the way I love you. I'm sorry I never got down on one knee, I'm sorry I never got to marry you..." God, now he was just making himself sad, he couldn't hide the deep shaky breath he took "...I'm sorry I never got to see Devan grow up." DANNY NO. You couldn't help it. You let out an uncontrollable sob and the first tear rolled down your cheek; it wasn’t alone for long "I'm so sorry Y/N.... But God, Baby Girl, you are the best thing I ever had. And I am the damned luckiest guy on the planet to have got to know you, to hold you, to love you for this long... Please just always remember, I'm here. I'm always going to be here. And I love you. I love being the better person you created. The relationship you share with Nolan. Every single time you looked out for me, or defended me, or just... Were real. Called me out. Kept me grounded..." Then he let himself laugh, which made you laugh through your tears "Thank you for loving me." There was another few seconds of static before the tape clicked. And you were left with silence and your tears. You leant forward on the steering wheel and let everything you'd been trying to keep bottled up inside you - become almost numb to - flood itself out. Danny why? Why did he have to end it like that? Why did he have to leave you with something so devastatingly beautiful...? Why did you already know that there was never going to be any getting over Danny Rayburn?  You gasped suddenly and placed your hands to your stomach. For one second you were shocked out of crying; and then only cried more as it happened again. These tears may well have been happy ones – at nearly 19 weeks your baby had just chosen the perfect moment to move for the very first time.

--- As usual I write Danny these really beautiful monologues that I can hear E-V-E-R-Y word of... and I just...

 @stcphstrange - One? Do we really only have ONE more part!? Oh god I’m so sorry...! I’m so so so sorry!!! @happyskywhale