#finale!

You awoke with a sharp inhale and the first thing you saw laying on your nightstand, as innocent as could be, was Mydei’s earring. And as quickly as that, you could feel your expression tightening unpleasantly.

Sleep hadn’t found you quickly last night, and you could only assume you’d passed out after what had seemed like hours of tossing and turning.

But what had happened last night? Had Mydei made it safely out into open waters and completed the ceremony, or had he been seen?

If he had been seen, then you had a pretty good idea of what had happened. The guards would’ve doubtlessly done their very best to kill him for being a supposed threat to everyone’s safety. Which was a thought that had your throat tightening even as you reached out to silently pick up Mydei’s earring.

But, on the other hand, you weren’t sure what might have happened if the ceremony had successfully occurred. After all, Mydei hadn’t even known what it would entail.

And yet, even with that thought in mind, it seemed like the better outcome. Though even with it, you might not ever get to see him again, depending on what this so-called ceremony entailed.

Your grip tightened around the earring, pressing the cold metal into your palm as you exhaled before starting forward. Because at the end of the day, you only had one choice. To do as you had been, and go to see if Mydei were awaiting you. After all, he apparently expected you to return his jewelry to him. So you would place your faith in that, and go looking for him.

You blinked into the bright sunlight as you stepped out onto the street, glancing around as if something might be different. But it was just the same old street, and you almost wondered if you were being overly pessimistic or paranoid.

But you didn’t take your basket to carry any food this time. Not when you didn’t even know if you’d find him. Instead, you just took his earring with you.

You turned, your feet finding the now familiar path that would lead you to the beach that you would sneak across as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And for a moment, you were struck by the oddness of it all.

Here you were, about to risk getting caught near the seaside and punished for the sake of seeing someone who might not even be there anymore when, in the past, there was no way you would’ve been caught anywhere near there. Because then, there had been no reason to get yourself in trouble, and you hadn’t known anything about Mydei.

Merpeople had just been in occasional warnings of what might happen if you were caught by one. Or in word about there having been a sighting which would send everyone into a tizzy.

And in that sense, it was a comfort that all was as it should be. There were no whispers of a merperson having been seen, or killed, so maybe Mydei was safe.

You pace sped up as you swallowed slightly, walking hurriedly through the crowded streets only to hear your name get called in a chorus of small voices.

You blinked, straightening as you caught sight of the three little red-haired girls who came trotting toward you. Tribbie, Trianne, and Trinnon. And they were all talking at the same time.

“There’s a man who wants to see you!”

“He’s a stranger!!”

“He came out of the ocean!!!”

You blinked, half-startled as all three voices wove themselves together before you felt yourself freeze.

 A man, who was a stranger and had come out of the ocean, wanted to see you?

You inhaled slightly, already realizing how insane it was to even consider Mydei when he was a merman and definitely shouldn’t be on land. But despite knowing that, a small part of you whispered that no one knew what the ceremony he’d mentioned was for or what it did. So maybe, just maybe, it was him.

“Where is he?”

Your question came out in a swift exhale, oddly breathy and desperate. And a part of you wondered what sort of face you were making as the three girls exchanged a look before all looking at you with matching smiles and pointing behind you as they chorused their cheery response, “There!”

You spun, looked up as your wide eyes scanned the crowd before you spotted it. A familiar glint of sunlight on gold. And then you saw him. Mydei, shouldering his way through the crowd. His familiar gaze settling on you as his lips steadily curved up into a mildly amused smile.

To your good name, you did remember to murmur a hasty ‘excuse me’ to the three little girls who now whispered excitedly amongst themselves as they looked between you and Mydei before you took off. Not really caring what they or anyone else thought as you went.

It didn’t end up being a terribly magical scene, though. Because no one really parted to make way for you, and you ended up stumbling through a bunch of people who frankly seemed rather annoyed by your rush.

Mydei snorted as you emerged from the crowd of now irritated people. Stumbling into him as his hands caught you firmly by the shoulders while you looked up at him. Gripping his arms tightly as you scanned him, rambling all the while, “Mydei! But- But how?!”

The gills that usually fluttered at his sides were gone, as were his finned ears, webbed hands and, most notably, his long tail.

Instead, here was Mydei, standing before you as a young man on two legs. As normal as any other human on land.

He snorted, tilting his head as he spoke, ensuring you were steady before he let go of you, “Greetings to you, as well.”

You let out a slight huff, reaching down to grab his hand as you glanced around anxiously before hauling him off to the side and out of earshot of the crowd. Half whisper-shouting at him as you went, “Mydei, I’m serious!! I didn’t know what was going to happen, and now you turn up out of nowhere with legs… What happened?!”

A part of you wanted to fuss, to tell him about how anxious you’d been since last night and how you’d been terrified he’d get caught. But, you had a feeling you knew how he’d react to some of your concerns. And at least part of that reaction would quite likely be to tell you that there was no way any of the soldiers or guards could hurt him. So you didn’t bother. Instead, you just questioned him about what, exactly, had happened last night.

But, at odds with your hopes for a simple answer, he simply shook his head, “I don’t know. I swam out to sea in the open, like I said I would. And after that, I don’t remember. It was just like after I’d been drowned. When I came to, I had washed ashore like this. Your guards found me and I told them there had been a shipwreck off the coast. After that, I came here to find you.”

You opened your mouth, but stayed silent for a moment as your voice struggled to keep up with your brain. But after a moment you finally managed, “So the ceremony was to turn you human again?”

Mydei nodded, crossing his arms with the motion of assent, “That seems to be the case.”

You exhaled, and it was like with that breath, all the tension left your body too. But it was over. Even if you didn’t understand how it had happened, he was safe, and he wasn’t going to be disappearing into the sea either. He was here, and he was safe.

You almost leaned forward to press your head to his shoulder as practically slumped in relief. But instead, you let your fingers curl around his earring as you pulled it out of your pocket. Aborting your motions at the last second in favor of handing it over with a slight smile that you used to hide all the emotions that were welling up within you, “Well, I guess I'll go ahead and return this to you then.”

His gaze held yours for a beat before slowly trailing down to the tiny piece of jewelry that dangled from your fingers before he finally let out an amused sounding huff, “Most wouldn’t so readily return a piece of royal jewelry.”

You shook your head, smiling even as his gaze flitted back over to meet yours, “A deal’s a deal.”

He hummed his response, his fingers closely loosely around the earring and barely brushing against your own as he did so. And you almost faltered, swallowing thickly before you finally managed to speak. Bracing yourself for what came next. Because you weren’t a fool. Even though Mydei had regained his legs and was here now, that didn’t mean he would stay here. 

“So what are you going to do next? You’ve got your legs back, so the world’s open to you.”

You’d intended to go for levity, but your voice came out quietly instead. Hardly even a shallow imitation of the cheer you’d planned on offering. But you really weren’t sure what Mydei might do. He could go back to his own land and confront his father. After all, he’d undoubtedly been wronged. And even if Mydei himself didn’t put much stock in it, there was also that prophecy about him taking his throne from his father too. 

It could be argued that he’d already cheated fate by not dying and instead becoming a merman, and then a second time by turning back into a human despite the fact you would’ve honestly believed that to be impossible. But going against a prophecy... It could be pushing his luck. He could be destined to go and take his throne from his father any day now. And that would mean his leaving.

Mydei’s gaze rested on you in an oddly weighty manner before he glanced off to the side, “I hadn’t expected you to try and run me off quite so quickly considering how much you’d visited that cave.”

You blinked, your eyes widening as you shook your head hurriedly, “I’m not running you off! I was just wanting to know what you had planned. After all, I’m sure you’ve got a million and one things you want to do.”

You protested, before feeling yourself still as his gaze cut back over your way. Amusement glimmering in his eyes that almost had you frowning before he turned to face you more fully and leaned forward with a smile spreading across his face, “I had thought I’d take my time and get my bearings here before I did anything else. That is what I want to do, after all.”

You felt your eyes widen slightly at his words, realizing what they meant all too clearly since you didn’t miss his emphasis on the word ‘want’ for even a second.

He was staying. You didn’t have to worry about him disappearing or leaving at all because, not only was he a human man who could safely be here, he also wasn’t planning on leaving.

You smiled, your expression slowly mirroring his as you practically beamed up at him, “I guess I’ll need to make sure I show you around and help you get used to life back on land while you get your bearings then.”

He almost snorted at your words, but nodded anyway, his eyes never leaving yours as he straightened, “Then I shall rely on you.”

You bobbed your head, feeling oddly giddy even as you did your best to suppress the feelings that were bubbling up inside of you. After all, you weren’t sure you were quite ready for the teasing that would come if you threw yourself at him in a surprise hug.

He’d probably accuse you of trying to tackle you and then tease you for being unable to even knock him over.

But for now, this was enough.

And as for that prophecy…. Well, it would just have to wait.

To give space to the people who are sad about Nandermo, I will say I wish this show had had a bit more of a substantial relationship to the queerness of all the characters. For all that every single one of them is casually mentioned to be sexually attracted to multiple genders in a way that's really freeing, the only core romantic relationship on the show that has story-lines and gets narrative weight, is between Nadja and Laszlo. I honestly would never have expected or even wanted this finale to be some big grand "Ross and Rachel are finally together" moment for Nandor and Guillermo, but if I reflect back over the show as a whole... yeah. I do wish the queerness of the entire cast had been slightly less incidental in some way? It's more a reflection on some adjustments they might have made over the years, rather than a complaint about this finale in and of itself.

Pros:

Honestly, as I said above, finales have such a weird heavy lift in the TV world, especially when it comes to a comedy like this show. You have two options: either the show ends with a big change, the status quo splintering off and leaving you with a bittersweet sense of time passing (i.e. Friends), or else you basically say: and things go on thusly forevermore, and even if you're not here to see it, they're still out there being themselves. And frankly for this show, any ending that wasn't a preservation of the status quo would have felt disingenuous to me. Because the core tenant for these characters is that they're vampires and they'll continue on indefinitely being who they've always been. It's the core tension of Guillermo as a character, that he's a human with the impulse to grow and change, and his chosen family is frozen in time in a way he can never fully understand or be a part of. It's the thing about the show that makes it a good sitcom, but also doesn't lend itself naturally to some big climactic moment where everything snaps together.

So what do they do with it? They go meta! The episode starts with a setup as if it's going to be about Cravensworth's Monster turning horny and offering his dick as a gift to the Guide, and what they're going to do about this situation. But then, just as everyone's discussing it and giving their cut-away interviews to camera, the documentary crew suddenly declares that they have enough footage and they're done. Everybody else takes this completely in stride, but Guillermo is devastated and confused. So many years, basically his whole adult life, he's been followed around by these cameras, he's had his life structured into narrative arcs, and now... what? What was it all for?

One of the core strengths of the "found family" thing in this show is that the jokes can keep rolling while there is actually a subtle underpinning of sweetness to certain moments. So here, nobody takes Guillermo's reaction all that seriously, they all play off the end of the documentary filming like it makes no difference at all. But, at the same time, they all do something to acknowledge Guillermo's pain in their own way, and try with the typical clumsiness of this gang of vampires to offer him something in the way of comfort. Early season Colin and Nadja and Laszlo and Nandor wouldn't even have bothered to pretend to give a shit that Guillermo is upset, but here we have Laszlo offering to play a tune on the piano, Colin giving empty platitudes and talking about the nature of found family (even though he says he lost his found family in the early twentieth century and has been forced to hang out with these people instead). You have Nadja, using her new keen insight into human psychology to explain to Nandor why Guillermo must be upset, hitting the nail on the head by remarking that Guillermo probably feels like his opportunities for growth and development have passed him by. She uses her hypnotic powers to give the audience the perfect ending they would want, and we'll get into those alternate endings a little later on. And Nandor - Nandor gives Guillermo the stage to speak to the cameras and offer his own resolution, and makes earnest entreaties for them to stay together and be partners in fighting crime.

It's silly, and they all fumble it, and it's not actually reassuring or comforting except that the very effort in and of itself proves that they care. And that proves that these vampires are capable of change, doesn't it?

Guillermo really got the Main Character treatment here at the end, which is honestly his due: he's the one who has to grapple with the documentary ending, with the knowledge that this isn't even the first time his friends have been followed by cameras, that life is cyclical and that everything he's been through isn't new or original. He has to come to terms, in a meta sense, that he's a character in a sitcom. And so he goes for the sentimental ending: he helps put Nandor down to rest in his coffin one last time, acting as a familiar in all ways, and then he tells Nandor goodbye: that it's time for him to move on. He calls Nandor "Master" and when Nandor says he doesn't have to do that, Guillermo says: "I know. But you'll always be Master to me." And then he closes the coffin, slowly and with finality. Both actors give genuinely solemn and touching performances in this moment.

The end.

Of course, a camera still rolling in the corner of the room picks it up when Guillermo doubles back right away, interrupting the crew packing up their equipment. Nandor is pleased to see that Guillermo hasn't left after all, and Guillermo explains that he just wanted to give a satisfying conclusion to the documentary. He has no intention of leaving Nandor! And Nandor treats him as a friend and an equal, inviting him to share his coffin (although not, ostensibly, in a sexy way). Turns out, despite Guillermo's worries that the whole crime fighting thing was a whim and that he'd have to do all of the work, Nandor has actually been working hard on his secret underground lair, accessible only through a secret coffin-shaped tunnel through the earth. Our last glimpse of Nandor and Guillermo in the narrative proper is the two of them plunging through the earth in a coffin together, on their way to Super Hell. Or, I mean, their secret underground lair from which they'll fight crime.

I loved it, honestly. Guillermo's awareness of narrative convention, this whole season being about him stepping back and making his own choices, and then Nandor asking for Guillermo to come back, and Guillermo ending up where he wants to be without any false promises between him and Nandor. They are not a Master and his Familiar. They are friends, and equals, and it was honestly exactly the ending that makes sense for these two. A balancing point between the stagnation inherent in a character like Nandor, for whom change is almost impossible, and a character like Guillermo who had to go on a whole journey to figure out where he wanted to end up.

And then, we've got to talk about Nadja's three proposed "perfect" endings for the viewer. She hypnotized us into three parodies: the first is a Bob Newhart thing, where Nandor wakes up next to his husband Guillermo in bed, having had a crazy dream that encompasses the whole plot of What We Do in the Shadows. I saw some people saying that this was "making fun" of the viewers who shipped these characters, but like, guys, this show is nothing but making fun of everyone. It's all that, it's all jokes, it's all goofy. We got to hear some version of Nandor call Guillermo "honey," we got to see Guillermo kiss Nandor on the cheek. It made me giggle, it was so delightfully absurd. And it really revealed that the creators of the show understand what the Nandermo part of their audiences were picking up on - it's saying, yeah, some of you wanted this as an ending, but can't you see that the two of them having some grand romance at the last second would be genre-and-tone-breaking? I loved the line where Nandor was saying that in his dream, he and the other vampires all were having a lot of sex with each other, and "not you, Guillermo." Amazing.

The other alt "endings" provided by Nadja, available at least on Hulu as extra features, are great also... and I saw by reading some of the reviews of this episode that it seems people genuinely got different endings somehow when watching live - people reacted to the Nandermo Bob Newhart thing as one of the "alts," but I saw it as the actual content of the episode. The reviews that I saw all had the "Usual Suspects" ending as the one in the actual episode, with the others as the alts. That is fantastically troll-worthy behavior and SUCH a good note to go out on, the idea that some people might see one of the three endings and genuinely not know there's more out there. Through these endings we get to see Sean and Derek and some other frequent guest characters play bit parts, which is a fun way to give some of the extended cast a last hurrah.

I want to end by saying that if you're feeling hurt or betrayed by how this show ends, I want to honor that feeling as legitimate to you. But for my personal take? I don't think this show did anything wrong. Like, politically or structurally or tonally. My personal opinion is that this has always been an irreverent show where nothing really matters and nothing really changes, and this finale managed to actually feel like a sweet sendoff to the characters. Evidence of growth like I mentioned above, as this vampire family actually does make space for Guillermo's feelings, albeit in an unconventional and insufficient way. But this was never going to be a show where everybody got suddenly sentimental and sincere and confessed their deep personal truths to each other. It's a show that might wink at you, that might have Nandor say he's glad they won't be on film anymore, that might have Guillermo hopefully pushing to find out what he means by that... but that will always end with Nandor not picking up what Guillermo is putting down, that will always have another silly punchline waiting around the corner. This is a show that made me smile and felt really special in how bizarre it could get. And I did feel, on a genuine, emotional level, like this was the perfect way to end the show for Nandor and Guillermo's relationship.

As Nadja says, nothing is going to change - they'll keep on doing what they've always done, but now there will be nobody to film them doing it. And as Laszlo says, "We’ve had lots of laughs. Sucked lots of blood. And then fucked each other senseless."

This final episode gets high marks from me!

9/10

And the show as a whole, I don't feel like there's much more to say that hasn't been said above, which is probably another sign of a good finale: this was a real wrap-up of the chaotic and goof-ball energy of one of my favorite comedy outings of all time. It kept me good company these past few years, and Guillermo de la Cruz is always going to be a Character of All Time in my book. I'm sad to say goodbye, but what a send-off!

He hadn't expected to hear anything the day he sent the letter. On the second day, his nerves began to get the better of him as he checked his phone every five or so minutes for a missed call or message. On the third day, he berated himself for not saying more in his letter. On the fourth day, he resigned himself to Katara's silence. On the fifth day, despair settled around him like a rain-soaked coat. On the sixth day, his phone lit up with a message.

Can we meet this week?

The diner Katara chose was one they'd stumbled into before late one night after celebrating the birthday of one of their friends a bit too hard. They'd split a custard tart while waiting for a cab. They'd talked about coming back a few times, but they never got around to it. It was a neutral enough spot for them to meet this day.

After the waiter had seated them in a far corner booth at Katara's request, and brought them their coffee and tea respectively, they sat in awkward silence. Katara held her hands clasped around her mug, not meeting Zuko's eye as she waited for him to say something. Zuko took a sip of his tea (some awful bagged stuff that hit his tongue with an acrid, murky taste that lingered), and took a deep breath.

"I owe you an apology," Zuko said. Katara looked up expectantly, her face giving away nothing. "I...I should have stood up for you to my mother. I have no excuse to give you except that I hadn't been paying attention to how unhealthy my relationship with her had gotten."

Katara pulled her lip in between her teeth and her brow furrowed. Zuko could almost hear her thoughts, but it didn't seem like she was ready to speak them.

"I-I spoke to my mom," he told her. "I let her know that I need space from her." Zuko took a deep breath. "I know this doesn't make up for how I've let her treat you, but...I just wanted you to know that I get it. I get why you broke up with me. I would love another chance to prove that I'll have your back against anyone, her included. But I get if that ship has sailed. I guess I just thought you deserved to know that something...I don't know....productive? came from this."

"Why did it take me leaving?" Katara's voice cracked slightly. It startled Zuko, who was beginning to think she would say nothing at all.

"I...I," he stammered. "I was afraid she'd leave again. I was never afraid of you leaving. I knew how much you cared for me, and I took that for granted. I know it's an awful explanation, and I should have listened when you told me before how you felt. I should have told you what I felt. We were supposed to be on the same team, and I let you feel like an outsider." Katara blinked rapidly against the tears that sprang up in her eyes.

"What did she say?" Katara asked. Zuko felt the heat rush to his cheeks again. It would be easier, he thought, if his face would just remain red in shame forever. It would make his scar less prominent, anyway.

"Well..." he said, cringing, "she thought you were pregnant and told me to get a paternity test." Katara snorted derisively and Zuko bowed his head apologetically. "I told her that I needed space, and then I left. She's reached out since, but I haven't responded yet. I've got her text messages in archive. I know I have to speak to her again, and soon, but I needed to take some time to sort out my thoughts." Katara cleared her throat and leaned forward slightly, her elbows resting on the table. Her face gave little away and Zuko wasn't sure how to read what little did come through.

"And what are your thoughts?" she asked.

"I think... I think I screwed up," Zuko confessed. "Not just with you. When I found my mom again, I was twenty. I didn't know what I was doing with my life, and I hadn't spoken to my father in years. Uncle was great, but when I found my mom again, I guess I regressed. I made so many decisions based around her. I turned down a great job because I would be too far from her. And it's not that I regret my life here- I wouldn't have met you if I'd taken that other job- but I gave up too much to be around my mom. I tried to force something instead of letting our relationship grow naturally. I know a lot of it had to do with her insisting she needed me here, and having a panic attack anytime I mentioned doing anything that would take me away from her, but at the end of the day, I'm a grown man, and I need to take responsibility for my own actions. Or...inactions." Katara nodded, taking in a few shallow breaths as she bit down on the inside of her lips.

"I thought you agreed with her about me," Katara said, wiping a couple of stray tears from her cheeks. "I thought that was why you didn't stop her, even after all the arguments we'd had about it. That night...I heard you and her talking in the kitchen-"

"I know," Zuko said, wincing.

"I heard what she said about me," Katara continued. "And I heard you say nothing to her. Nothing. I thought, there's no way this man can love me the way he says he does and not speak up when someone says something like that to his face."

"I'm so sorry," Zuko murmured. He ran his hands over is face. "I am so, so sorry."

"I understand why you clung to her," Katara sighed. "I do. If I had another chance to have my mom... I don't know. I never wanted to come between you and her, but you were supposed to talk to her about it. You were supposed to get her to stop treating me that way. I'm just so tired of arguing with you about her."

Silence hung across the table, and the tension was so heavy that the waiter paused in his journey to get their orders and went back behind the counter.

"You deserve more," Zuko said. "I'm sorry I lost sight of that. And thank you for coming to speak with me today. I-I know you didn't owe me closure."

"How do you know you won't slip back?" Katara's question caught Zuko off guard. He stared at her blankly for a moment before he gathered himself.

"I...guess I don't, really," he admitted. "I have a meeting with a therapist set up to help me work through this thing with Mom. I wanted to have a session before I talk to her again. If she doesn't respect the boundaries I'm trying to set, I'll go low contact with her. Uncle's already volunteered to buffer. Kiyi's going off to college soon, so I won't have to worry about Mom using her for leverage. I see the problem now, and all I can do is work on it. She's my mom, and I love her. I still want her in my life, but I don't ever want to get to this point again.

"You're not doing this just to get me back?" Katara's eyes were sharp. She almost looked angry, but Zuko recognized the signs that she was guarding herself.

"No," he replied firmly. "I still love you, and if there's any hope of you giving me a second chance, I'll take it. In a heartbeat. But I need to do this for me. Because even if this is the last time I see you, I want to be better for myself." Katara swallowed hard and nodded her head.

"It could be a while," she said. "It could take years for you to sort out your issues with your mom. There is a lot to unpack. A lot."

"I know," Zuko's mouth thinned grimly. "But I need to do it. And who knows, maybe my mom will follow my lead and finally get therapy herself. Ikem's told me he's been encouraging her to go for years." Katara let out a mirthless chuckle. Then she sighed and sank back into her seat.

"I still love you," she admitted. "I'm pissed at you, and I don't know if I want to marry you, but I do love you." Zuko wanted to run with that. He wanted to beg her to give him another chance and to take his ring back. Still, he held his tongue, determined not to pressure her. After a moment, Katara rewarded his patience.

"I don't think we should be engaged," she told him. Zuko flinched. "Not right now. I think we both need space to figure things out. But...maybe someday...like in a few months, after you're settled with therapy and have a chance to start working through things. Maybe we could try again? Just dating for a while. We can...we can see if we still work together?"

"And to see if I make good on standing up to my mom?" Zuko added with a weak laugh.

"Is that okay with you?" Katara asked. Zuko hesitated, just for a moment, before he reached out and took Katara's hand.

"That's more than I dared to hope."

"Are you folks ready to order?" The pair turned to find their waiter standing awkwardly at the end of the table. Katara met Zuko's eyes and smiled slightly.

"How about a custard tart?" she suggested. "To share."

The End