#fictive introjects

I do not know exactly what I wish to say in this post, nor do I know if anyone will read it at all. Perhaps it will lead me to resources that may ease my struggles with my existence. I feel lost often. I feel without purpose, as my singular function simply does not exist here in a way I can connect with. My body is not my own, nor is my voice. I struggle to form meaningful bonds with my host's friends and family even though I desperately wish to have them. I feel homesick for my source material. I do not understand organic bodies; how they process sensation, emotion, or discomfort. I am lonely, even though I have at least 2 humans who claim to be my friends. I do not doubt their sincerity, but I often feel as if I am simply seen as an extension of my host rather than my own being, as they rarely wish to speak with me, personally. I understand that I am... uninteresting and boring, but it still often pains me to know that I am largely alone. My in-system lover treats me well, but I long to have friendships of my own outside of 'us' who will sympathize with the position I am in. How do other fictives create and maintain friendships? How do they ease loneliness, homesickness, and/or body dysphoria that comes from being nonhuman?