“Get a load of this, folks,” Kei announces like he’s talking to some crowd that Shouyou can’t see.  “Despite all evidence to the contrary he can be taught.  Looks like this old dog can learn some new tricks after all.”

“Just because this dog doesn’t want anything to do with your bone right now doesn’t mean you need to be a dick about it.  Ya dick.”

Kei scoffs and rolls his eyes.  “You’re spending too much time with Kageyama.  Your insults are getting lame.  Though that first part was pretty good,” he adds as he picks up Shouyou’s plate and heads for the sink.  “And though I wouldn’t say no to sex I wasn’t actually planning on trying anything,” he adds over his shoulder as he washes the few dishes in the sink.

“Mhmm.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Right,” Shouyou says suspiciously.  “Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

“You’re forgiven.”

It’s not until Shouyou is getting changed to head over to Kenma’s party that the realization sinks in.  He literally stops in the middle of pulling on his shirt, yanks it back off, and stomps into the kitchen where Kei is leaning against the counter scrolling through his phone.  Shouyou throws his balled up shirt at Kei’s face and scowls up at him.

“Well, hello there,” Kei says, eyeing Shouyou’s bare chest appreciatively and letting the shirt fall to the floor.

“Who did you make a bet with and what room of Kenma’s are you going to try to get me to defile with you?”

“Defile?”

“Yes.  Defile.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Shouyou smacks Kei’s arm.  “Don’t play dumb with me, Kei.  I’m better at it and we both know it.”  He picks his shirt up and yanks it on.  “After the week we’ve both had the only reason you wouldn’t be trying to get into my pants now is because you’re planning on doing it later.  So.  Who?  Where?”

“I don’t—”

“Tell me or there will be no getting in my pants at all tonight.”

“Kageyama bet me that he could convince Oikawa and Kuroo to uh, you know, in Kenma’s new gaming chair before I could get you there.”

Shouyou thinks about it as he pulls on his shoes and shoves his phone into his pocket, Kei quietly doing the same beside him.

“Kenma will murder us if he catches us.”

“So we don’t let him catch us.”  Shouyou glares at Kei.  “Yeah okay.  Fine.  Trying to hide something like that from Kenma is dumb and the whole thing is a stupid idea.  Are you happy?  I don’t say that often.”

Shouyou grabs his keys and locks the door as they leave.

“Trying to hide it from Kenma is a dumb idea.”  Shouyou grins.  “That’s why we ask him.  He’ll help distract Kuroo so Kageyama can’t win the bet.”

“And Kenma’s just going to let us have sex in his new chair?”

“If I ask him, probably.  Yeah.”  Shouyou snorts and tugs Kei along behind him.  “Not like it’s the first time someone has had sex in that chair after all.”

Kei stops so suddenly that Shouyou stumbles backwards, hand still wrapped around Kei’s wrist.

“Excuse me?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time someone has had sex in that chair?”

“Kenma just got it today.  He sent me a message like three hours ago saying it was finally delivered.”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And who the hell already had sex in the chair?”

Shouyou gasps softly.  “If you don’t know who Kenma is having sex with I don’t think I should be telling you.”  Shouyou leans in close and whispers, “Kenma is a pretty private person, after all.”

“Right.  Yet you’ve already been informed that he’s had sex with someone in a chair he got less than three hours ago.”

“Yep!”  Shouyou pulls at Kei’s wrist.  “Come on.  We don’t want to be late.  If we don’t get there before Kageyama does I won’t be able to ask Kenma to distract him.  I’m not asking Kenma in a text if we can have sex in his chair.  That’s just rude.”

Kei drags his hand through his hair, staring blankly down at the sidewalk as Shouyou gently drags him down the street.

“How is this my life?” Kei whispers.  “How is this a normal conversation for me to be having with my boyfriend?”

“Why are you being like this?  I agreed to have sex with you in Kenma’s chair and help you win the bet.”

Kei just shakes his head and follows Shouyou blindly, mind stuck on how Kenma, who as far as he knew didn’t have any kind of boyfriend or girlfriend or fuckbuddy or whatever, managed to have sex in a chair he’s only had for a few hours.  Shouyou doesn’t seem to mind that Kei isn’t participating in the conversation at all.  He’s perfectly content to babble away and grin over his shoulder at Kei on occasion.  Kei manages to smile vacantly and nod when he notices Shouyou’s gaze on him.

Before he knows it they’re standing in front of Kenma’s apartment door.  Normally Kei would be all for letting Shouyou just use the spare key Kenma gave him so they don’t have to wait around outside.  But now Kei’s a little afraid of accidentally walking in on something he doesn’t want to see.

After what feels like forever the locks finally click and the door swings open.  Kei sucks in a sharp breath.

“Bokuto?”  Shouyou glances over his shoulder and grins at Kei.  “Bokuto and—”  Kei shudders.  “I don’t know if I want to win that bet now.”

“Too late,” Shouyou says, darting past Bokuto and into Kenma’s apartment.

“Shouyou!”

“I’m asking him!”

Kei buries his face in his hands with a groan, shuffling inside when Bokuto steps back.

“Tsukki?”

“Nope,” Kei mutters.  “I can’t.”

“He said yes,” Shouyou yells from the vicinity of Kenma’s office.

“Great,” Kei says sarcastically.  “I really don’t think I want to win this bet anymore.”

“Of course you do,” Bokuto laughs.  “Kenma’s chair is really comfy.”

“How do you…?”

Bokuto winks at him.  “Who do you think gave Kuroo the idea?”