#fi-te

I am an INFJ. Through process of elimination and self-discovery I’ve become more or less certain of this typing, and everytime I feel like I might be another type, I do some research, and then I become more convinced of my original typing. However, there is one thing that keeps me from being 100% sure, and that is Fi. Or what I perceive to be Fi.

My dominant funcion is Ni. My inferior function is Se. And though I currently live with conditions that make me repress my Fe (doorslaming, Ni-Ti loop), I am still fairly certain that I am Fe-Ti. My doubt on this matter has to do with my strong emotional and ethical convictions, and how much my moral code matters to me. I will gladly upset the “group harmony”* if I feel that it is the right thing to do (and I do so quite often). I have difficulties apologizing if I feel that I have not done anything wrong (it’s easier now because of maturity, but still). 

I was making a much longer post about this, but I realized that what I really wanted to know, was if others would see this as Fi, or if it’s another function (or functions) that are responsible for this behaviour. Because obviously, that would make a lot of difference in my typing.

The post about wether I’m Te-Fi or Fe-Ti will have to come after. 

*On nearly every typing site I’ve found, it says INFJs are supposed to care about the “group harmony” and make sacrifices to avoid conflict. (Fe)

Hi! Yes, that is def possible, though you might want to look into being an ENFP since they often identify as introverts (search “ne dominant” on my blog) and they are more likely to be like that since they have stronger Te. What you’re talking about is the Fi/Te dynamic. Usually INFPs’ Fi manifests in the classic way but the thing is that if you want to communicate how you feel, you have to use Ne of Te, and when it comes to stuff that isn’t art of something passive like that and you’re talking about actual direct communication, you have to translate your feeling through Te. So if you’re upset and someone is fucking with you, you have to use your Te, which is probably not very strong, and consequently takes on the negative qualities of Te like sarcasm, bluntness, etc, rather than positive qualities like confidence or efficacy or healthy amounts of competitiveness. Most INFPs I think have that super classic thing you see in lots of characters where they are sweet and vaguely naïve or innocent, and generally quiet, unassertive, and agreeable until you hit a nerve and then their Te switches on and they are not taking any of your shit. Usually they have a very definite line like ”I’m all Fi until you try to control me” or “I’m all Fi until you say something sexist/racist/etc” or “I’m all Fi until you try to hurt a friend of mine”

  I never intended to spark off an argument unless you tell me those marriage vows in your humanly fickle script of yours are holy. 

Fe requires “reading” and inferring emotions of other people, but Te is knowing from observing (with visual phenomenon aside haha). Fe feels like it’s observing and what it sees is truth, but it’s still a much more complicated process than Te.

Reality often degrades the use of feelings and emotions in decision-making, leaving Te as the main determinant of truth.

In a case like INTP vs INFP, it's going to be similar to the problems that an INTP will have with an INTJ.

Fi-Te says "things are this way and I'm right about that, and furthermore it doesn't matter what you think... maybe it can, but only if I like you...a lot" (INFP/INTJ/ENFP/ENTJ)

For NF types who are Fi dom/aux, you might add "it upsets me that you don't agree with me." Disagreeing with an opinion of an Fi dom/aux might be taken as a personal insult. With a Te dom/aux, you're going to run into more of a wall, "I'm right. The end. Not listening. Don't care."

Fe-Ti says "regardless of how things are, who is right or who is wrong, we should be able to discuss this amicably, and be able to give credence to any potentially valid points and honestly listen to the other person's opinion. How I personally feel about you doesn't matter as long as you make sense/your logic is sound (though chances are if you make sense, I like you)." (INTP/INFJ/ENTP/ENFJ)

Fe dom/aux might stop arguing for the sake of keeping the peace. Ti dom/aux might stop arguing if they get too frustrated, but are likely to argue for longer because Ti wants to get to the bottom of it, and is going to want to explain how and why the other person is wrong until the other person understands (and presumably alters their opinion).

Fi-Te people may see Fe-Ti people as "wishy-washy", because Fe-Ti people can change their minds when new information comes to light and may back off when they're too frustrated, which Fi-Te people might see as a lack of conviction.

Fe-Ti people may find Fi-Te people overly stubborn and exhibiting "willful ignorance" particularly if the individual cannot be swayed by evidence and logic. They may also find this combination makes the other person appear arrogant and contrary. Refusal to consider their points may be seen as an insult, a disrespect to their competence or intellect.

For an INTJ,  Ni is going to back up that Fi-Te. Te is going to find the practical functionality to be more important, "this information I've accepted as correct has held true through my experience, and that's enough for me. I don't need to delve deeper or alter it."

For the INFP, you're going to initially have a bit more leeway. Their Ne is going give them a breadth of possibility consideration and their dislike/fear of criticism might push them to be more considerate. HOWEVER, once the INFP has chosen one option/position and infused it with Fi value; cnce it's been integrated and projected into their daily life via Te- Ne won't matter anymore, and Fe-Ti pleas of harmony and rationality aren't going sway them.

Genuine arguments between people with Fe-Ti and Fi-Te are very difficult to navigate through and have both parties come out the other side amicable and OK. There's probably a cool-down time before normal friendship/relationship activities can resume (if they can). But this is the difference that's difficult between INFP and INTP, and it's not an F/T thing.This issue will occur between two Fs and two Ts just as easily as between one F and one T.

As a further addendum I want to add

* friendships, particularly cerebral ones between two Ntuitives are much easier to maintain despite these differences. closer personal relationships are more difficult. It's mostly fun and games when we're simply exploring ideas and projects.

*INTPs in particular might be viewed as confrontational and inconsiderate by people with Fi, because they won't have as much emotional investment in an idea as an Fi user might. They won't always realize or understand why an Fi user holds something as axiomatic and the kind of personal distress that trying to change that can bring on in that individual.