#ferangi

I adore quark while his relationship with odo is peak I'm not talking specifically about that here, though its hard to separate the two characters.

whenever I think about quark I think of the quote "a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest" (captain jack sparrow I believe)

he is dishonest to his core, and while he has a code of ethics he never lets it get in the way of profit and it provides a consistency to him that I think the show requires and at times leans on.

he is fiercely loyal to his family and while he doesn't say it at times he doesn't strictly adhere to the 6th rule of acquisition*1, *2

I'm not going to do a full character analysis but I just really love him and am rewatching the show right now and I notice new things out of him every time i watch it.

he is a fucking pillar of not only the community of ds9 shopkeepers*3 on the promenade but also arguably the greater ferangi community*4

also ik I wasn't gonna talk about quodo but QUODO RIGHT???*5

uhhh I have nothing interesting to add to the conversation and am getting self conscious about that so I'm gonna hit post before I feel to much shame to post it at all.

*1 the 6th rule of acquisition is: "Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity" (ds9: The Nagus)

*2 see ds9: the emmisary. he doesnt leave nog in jail even though that was arguably a better business decision

*3 this makes me think of good omens

*4 ik he was very much by the end but I mean like, even by early season one he had connections and was a person of interest

Due to recent Klingon Ear discourse I’m going to be ranking Star Trek Ears based on species, and no I will not be accepting criticism.

Human: 5/10 The base line. The mundane. They’re still round and nice and we understand them. But we didn’t go in to space to find ourselves. We went to space to get kinky with aliens! 

Ocampa: 7/10 Points for style! Points for cuteness! They’re exactly the type of thing you’d expect to see in science fiction and they satisfy a human size need for both pretty and approachable.

Ferangi: 3/10 Cursed ears. Low in style but high in function. Actually argued with my partner over this ranking. They thought it should be higher, and i’ll grant you this- There’s something about knowing you could satisfy their baser instincts with with a little ear massage. That’s all you want babe? Consider it done! I’ll wash my hands afterwards because I ‘feel’ dirty, not because ‘am’ dirty.

Vorta: 4/10 Kinda creepy but kinda intriguing. They’re unique and I wanna touch them (I be human like that) but why no lobe? What’s the deal with the ridges? How far back do they go into the hair? I’ve too many questions and frankly I’m not sure I want all the answers.

Romulans: 8/10 Let’s face it, we love our space elves. We love the pointiness, the curve and the fairy tale like imagery. There’s something very human about comparing them to mythical creatures. We’ve assigned ears like these to everything from demons, to Fey, and even gods. Multiple cultures have depicted them as something otherworldly. And they weren’t wrong to do so. The biggest downside here is who they’re attached to. Let’s just say you gotta be real careful what you whisper into these beauties, otherwise you might destroy humanity.

Klingons: ?/10 I’ll let you know when we find them! (See Klingon Ear discourse of 2020)

Changlings: 1/10 they can literally shift into anything. Sure, Odo set a standard and he had a hard time taking humanoid form. I can’t fault him, but the rest of these guys? You’ve got a universe of options and you go with that! So flat, so dull. For shame doc, for shame.

Special mention, Andorian Antennae: 6/10 While not ears (because they have human ones) these things have character. We don’t exactly know what they’re for, and it doesn’t seem the Andorians know either. But they are expressive! They twirl, they twitch and they catch your attention. They pull at my human curiosity and honestly, that’s worth something.

Special mention, Bajorans: 9/10 While exactly the same as humans the bling makes all the different. That jewelry might be a representation of faith but they’re also stylish as heck! The dangly chain, the shimmer, the fact it’s one sided. Major points for one-upping the entire human race.

You know what never gets addressed in Star Trek? How much humans like shinny things! 

Are we the only species that finds precious gems, lustrous ores and sparkly bobbles and goes “Oooooo, want!” heck no! But you better believe we will earn a reputation in space for being fascinated by glittery objects. 

The Vulcans will be polite enough not to mention it. The Betazoids will absolutely encourage our obsession by bringing us shimmery gifts. And of course the the Ferangi will find and exploit our love for the radiant. 

Every now and again some species will be confused: 

Alien: Why must you wear ‘glitter’ on your face to meet the ambassadors?

Human: It’s a party, I wanted to look special. 

Alien: But does your outfit require so much sparkle? 

Human: Of course, I want to look like a disco ball tonight! 

Alien: Why does your dance room need a ball of tiny mirrors to reflect light?

and not even like, cool, complex Star Trek DS9 Nog Ferangi either.