A female bartender's story I
It was a long day at work. I finally was accepted to work as a bartender (or Barmädchen auf Deutsch) at Wan Bao Restaurant. It was one of my job dreams when I was a child. I had always wanted to try and I'm glad to do it today.Â
It is hard I have to say, at least to me. It used to be one of my dreams; I still want to do it. Probably that's the reason why I want to do it "properly" (I wouldn't say "professionally" as I have just passed the probationary period and have no idea whether I would have time to become a professional bartender). Anyways each day I do learn a lot. It is not merely about the drinks and mixing techniques. It is also about hygiene requirements and respective know-hows. It is also about professional cooperation with other colleagues in the restricted space as a bar. It is also about speed so that the guests don't have to wait for so long. It is also about communication skills in German because the guests tend to prefer asking me - a bartender -Â than any other waiters or waitresses. It is also about attentively listening skills since my bosses are Chinese and I should know what they want. It is about endurability as I have to stand almost ten hours per day while working.
It is of no less importance that I do enjoy the work. I can drink a lot of good drinks of course, including beer and coffee (honestly I have to control myself as I know how addicted I could become again). I can eat Chinese foods at the restaurant; there is a dish of seafood each mealtime, and seafood is always my favorite. I can listen to Chinese music that is so much different from the modern commercialized music available in almost all markets. Especially, I can talk to nice people and learn a lot from them, from their experience. Some stories are truly worth rewriting.
One of my colleagues, A, is from China. She got married to a Chinese man and has got a child. It is 10 years old now. Things didn't work out. They got divorced. She entered a second marriage with a German, who is working in China. Thanks to him, she is in Germany now as her wish. Technically they are separated, and she is actually in a relationship with another Chinese guy 9 years younger than her. Talking to her, I would never be able to imagine her life hitherto. You know why? She looks younger than her age and the most important thing is she looks happy. She is longing for freedom, for loving, and for being loved. Probably it is because she and her partner are working at the same place. Probably she is enjoying freedom that hardly exists in China. Probably she is not worried about being blamed by the society for having gone through various marriages or having a love affair with a younger man.Â
The second colleague, N, is from Vietnam. Her life was not much different from A's. Her first marriage left her huge burden of debts since her first husband is addicted to gambling. They have a son but he wasn't such a strong reason that she could have decided not to get divorced. She was wondering why she chose a worst man among all the successful ones following her before the marriage. However, she feels quite satisfied with her life now somehow thanks to the divorce since it appeared to be a preparation for transforming her life into a whole new page.
She had a love affair with a high ranking officer in the army. Though she was working as a bank clerk, she didn't earn sufficiently to pay all the debts. He entered her life and supported her, emotionally, physically, and financially. They travelled together to many cities and provinces in Vietnam. They ate in luxurious restaurants, travelled in expensive vehicles, and stayed in opulent hotels. Eventually they had a son, but she decided to leave the paternal part in his birth certificate with no answer. Rumors and gossips behind her back were rampant. Such a past was (and even now it is still) hardly likely to be accepted in a State office. Social pressures were harsh; she wished to travel.
Her youngest sister at that time was living in Leipzig, Germany, which is far away from Vietnam. She thought of travelling after quiting the job at the bank. When the opportunity comes, it comes really fast. She got a chance to fly to Europe and left Vietnam within two months. It was a Vietnamese group going there to observe the market. She told me their purpose as such; but then the whole group was kept somewhere in Czech or Poland and couldn't enter Germany. Fortunately, she could since her sister had contact with a German that was the boss of numerous camps of asylum seekers in East Germany and he helped them. Without paying anything (actually her sibling tried but he didn't receive anything) she was moved to Leipzig as an asylum seeker, the status that many people at that time were hungry for.
She left her Vietnamese lover no words; he came to her parents' house with his mom, asking for her sister's telephone number. He called and insisted on her return, and that he would support her and their son with housing and living expenses. She was determined: "You have your family. It is my fault to enter yours. I can understand your wife's feeling and I don't want to take you away from her. We have a son but he belongs to me. I will take him soon with me to Germany. I'm not going back." He kept calling her in one whole year. After stating the last call, he stopped. She was telling me with pride as he was rich. Making a call to Germany 13 years ago would kill any one's budget, but he did. That somehow means he truly loved and needed her.
Continuing with her new chapter in Germany, in order to stay, she got married to a German. This is also her pride. She could choose between two men; one was having a surgery on the backbones; another one was working and 9 years younger than the former. She chose the first, and they have been so far living happily (The second turned out to be a unreliable person later). At first her German was zero; however, she was smart and they cooperated really well. It was hard for them to get married in Leipzig but it was said to be easier in Erfurt. She told him to bring their application to Erfurt. He went alone so that they didn't have to pay for translation. Luckily, he got accepted and after three weeks they received the positive reasons. It was very fast: the appointment to release the result was in 4 weeks; she asked him to make a call after three weeks to check how it was going; the one in charge nicely informed the good news. This short story seems simple, but it is something that one still using dictionary to communicate with her husband definitely can be proud of.
After she got the permanent resident permit in Germany, the next step was taking her son to her. The husband became unemployed; she started working and bore the cost of the big apartment; her income due to the living expenses was not persuasive enough to bring her son; she told him to get "bogusly" separated. It was not easy to convince him as many Vietnamese women had gone back to Vietnam after getting divorced from their German husbands in order to bring their Vietnamese ones to that far away country. He agreed at the end. She didn't want to accompany him to the lawyer as she would have paid much for the service if she had gone. He didn't have to as an unemployed. After three or six months, the application was approved. The application for the visa was also easy as the son has her last name. He came; she got parental support; the couple got back to the big apartment; the stepfather loves the stepson and always makes efforts to behave well so as to be a good mirror for the next generation. She is happy. The husband is retired now; she also gets support from the government, but freedom and the need to communicate with other people call her to go out and work. She is also a bartender, particularly, a weekend bartender.
