#fem!black!reader

When the Los Angeles Firefighter auction was first announced you were kind of excited. Not because you were going to buy a date with anyone, but because your boyfriend of four years, LOVED that auction.

An you? You’re anything but jealous so you genuinely didn’t mind the idea of someone winning a date with him. It’s for charity! Not only that but Evan Buckley was hot. It was a fact, one you’d be blind not to admit. So when Maddie told you the auction was coming up in a few weeks, well you assumed Buck would sign up. You pictured walking into your shared house after shift and finding him probably working out in that backyard like he normally did in the middle of a 48 off.

Only when you got home, Buck wasn’t in the backyard, or the kitchen, or the living room. Nope he was in your bedroom lying under the covers.

“Buck?” You asked softly from the doorway, not wanting to disturb him if he’d been sleeping. He immediately sat up with a look of pure distress on his face so you rushed over to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching for his hand.

“What’s wrong? Is your leg bothering you? Your back still hurting you?” You asked knowing he’d hurt his back a few days ago. He only groaned in frustration.

“God that makes me sound so old.” He practically whined and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re in your 30’s Buck, that’s not old. You are a career long firefighter who got hurt. I think that’s warrants pain from time to time. Even though you refuse to tell me how you hurt your back.” You remind with an amused smirk. He glared at you through his lashes but there was no real heat behind it. Then he sighed relaxing his shoulders as he gently squeezed your hand in his.

“Something else bothering you?” You asked knowingly and he looked at you for a few seconds before laying back down and staring at the ceiling. His hand never leaving yours.

“It’s Eddie.” He admitted his tone soft and hesitant.

“I don’t think he wants to do the auction and I don’t want him to have to go on a date when he doesn’t want to. You know he’s not exactly good with strangers and I-“ Buck continued to talk about Eddie and the probability of a date with a woman for an hour that night.

Then that hour turned into days. Buck complained about Eddie going on a date for the entirety of his 48 hours off shift. His stress for his best friend seemed genuine and honestly half way through you had to admit to yourself that you also weren’t fond of the idea.

Not that Eddie’s never dated before. You’d known him for years, in fact Eddie was the one who introduced you to Buck. The two of you had become fast friends when he worked at dispatch and at the time…

Well you sort of believed Buck and Eddie were dating. They were practically a ready made family and they were co-parenting Eddie’s son. But then Buck asked you out. You remember panicking to Maddie or all people and telling her that you didn’t know what to do. You adored Eddie and you didn’t want to date his boyfriend.

Maddie had assured you that even though she also thought they were dating, they very much were not. So you agreed to go on the date. Then the next, and then the next. And three dates later Buck asked you to be his girlfriend. In truth you sort of had a crush on Eddie at the time, feelings that you thought faded when your feelings for Buck grew.

But apparently they’d just been dormant because now you found yourself fully agreeing with Buck. It felt wrong to be possessive over a man who was A: Not your boyfriend and B: Your boyfriend’s best friend.

So what did you do? You went to Maddie.

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“I honestly don’t know what to do.” You groaned as you both stood in her kitchen holding cups of coffee.

“I’m mean would it be so crazy to have feelings for both of them?” Maddie asked with that knowing look that all big sisters seem to know exactly how to do. The look that makes you want to tell them everything.

“What like, feelings for Eddie? While dating Buck. Maddie I would never cheat on your brother I-“

“I didn’t say you would. Buck is…on his own journey. I’m asking you if you like Eddie. Outside of your relationship. Ignoring how much you love my brother. How do you feel about Eddie?” She asked seriously while resting a hand on your arm.

“I used to. Before Buck asked me out, I used to have, I guess a crush on Eddie. But I had feelings for Buck too. It’s not like I’m dating him because I can’t have Eddie or anything. I genuinely have always liked Buck. So when things got serious for us…I guess I just put it to the side.” You struggled to explain. Even though you knew you didn’t really have to, it was never a question in anyone’s mind how you felt about Buck. The 118 kids literally saw you as an Aunt because of how much you loved Buck. And if this auction didn’t stir up this weird sense of possessiveness over Eddie? You would have ignored those feelings forever, because you were with Buck. Buck who has made you endlessly happy for four years.

“But the auction is bringing it back to the table?” Maddie had said it like a question but there was no denying it. You had feelings for Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz.

“God, this must make me like a terrible person or something.” You grimaced setting your coffee on the counter.

“It doesn’t. Not even a little bit. We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with. And honestly you could do a lot worse than Buck and Eddie. The question is…what are you gonna do about it?” Maddie smiled reassuringly you studied her expression for a moment before laughing.

“Why do you look like you already have a plan?” You asked amused

“I might.” She laughed.

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“I’m sorry, you want me to what?” You asked standing in the lobby of the auction venue with your phone pressed to your ear.

“Bid on me. I’ll pay the money just…bid on me. If you bid $2,500 I can’t imagine anyone would go higher then I don’t actually have to go on a random date.” Eddie begged and you couldn’t help but laugh. In truth you were sort of planning to bid on Eddie anyway but having him call you in a panic moments before the auction was set to start.

“Why are you asking me?” You couldn’t help but wonder out loud as you looked around you. Waving when you noticed Athena and May walk in.

“Why not you? I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather ask…well except maybe Buck but he probably won’t do it.” Eddie laughed his words putting a warm feeling in your chest.

“Fine, I’ll bid on you.” You agreed

“I owe you my life.” Eddie was quick to reply before hanging up the phone. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself as you walked into the room and looked around for your table.

Your eyes scanned the wide array of people before landing on Maddie who was waving you over.

“You okay?” She asked once you go to the table and you nodded.

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The auction had begun and you watched as firefighters from all over the city, walked down the runway. Most of them showing off their muscles. A few swung an axe as a prop. Some were shirtless and covered in a glittering sheen of body oil.

It was honestly one big glamour shot but it was working. People were bidding thousands of dollars to go on these dates.

The table was shocked at May’s $1600 bid on Ravi, and amused at Athena’s bid on Harry. But now it was Eddie’s turn.

“I’ll uh, be right back.” You whispered to Maddie who looked at you concerned but let you go anyway.

You walked over to the doorway hidden from view as the bidding started. The jump from $100 to $1000 was almost instantaneous so you quickly dialed the phone number to place anonymous bid.

“I wanna bid 2,500.” You said over the phone and the announcer was quick to share it with the room. You peaked over the edge of the door frame looking around.

“$2,500 dollars from our mystery phone bidder, is anyone willing to bid higher?” He asked looking around. You glared daggers at a woman who stood holding up her paddle.

“3,000!” She yelled

“Would you like to bid higher?” The woman on the phone asked you. You took a second to think about it before mentally cursing yourself. Buck was either gonna really love you at the end of the night or hate that you spent money from your savings for this.

“6,500 please.” You muttered waiting patiently as she told the announcer whose eyes widened.

“Highest bid of the night from our mysterious phone bidder! We have 6,500! Can anyone do higher than that?!” He asked causing Eddie’s eyes to widen in shock while he looked around.

“6,500 going once…going twice…sold! To our mystery bidder!” The man yelled into the microphone. You thanked the woman on the phone before ending the call. You took a moment to calm yourself down as your entire body practically felt like it was on fire. Then you sent a quick text to Eddie.

I just won a bid war for you Diaz. You owe me $2,500 and a ‘date’. You’re welcome ❤️‍🔥🔥🧯

Once the text sent you went back to your seat, smiling reassuringly at Maddie.

“Everything okay?” She asked and you nodded.

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Eddie came to join your table just before it was Buck’s turn to take the stage.

“Highest bid of the night. Congrats Diaz!” Chimney clapped purposely saying the man’s last name wrong.

“Yeah, I’ll send you the money.” Eddie winked at you causing everyone else at the table to turn to you in shock.

“You bid on yourself?” Athena laughed looking at Eddie who shrugged before replying.

“Worth every penny.”

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“He has a multi media presentation? Nobody told me we were allowed to have a multi-media presentation.” Harry complained gesturing to the slideshow that played as Buck pranced down the runway.

You put your fingers in your mouth to whistle when Buck ripped his shirt open. Everyone clapping and cheering for him as the announcer talked about Buck’s baking, him being an uncle, Buck’s slideshow even had a picture of the two of you together. The announcer being sure to mention that even though Buck was in a committed relationship he’d do anything for charity.

You laughed at the wording of the sentence, because anything is probably not the best word to use. But Buck was willing to spend a platonic evening with someone for the sake of charity. In fact the two of you had a lengthy discussion about it and you promised him it was fine.

You cheered catching his shirt when he threw it towards you with a wink.

“That man and his ego.” Maddie laughed looking up at her brother but you just smiled. Buck was hot and he knew it. Hell everyone in this room knew it.

When the bidding started it was insane. People were chomping at the bit to have the highest price.

The table around you was shocked when you stopped after 6,500.

“Look, I’m not made of money here. He comes home to me and that’s all that matters.” You laughed leaning back in your chair and sipping your drink. Watching as the number continued to climb.

“You seem really sure of yourself right now.” Eddie whispered in your ear after moving to sit right next to you.

“Should I not be?” You joked, turning your head to look at him. His brown eyes studying you for a moment as if he was finally letting himself actually look at you for the first time in forever.

“No, I just…confidence looks good on you.” He murmured the two of you stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like forever. The only thing breaking your trance was the announcement of a new auction record.

$8,002

“Holy shit.” You and Eddie whispered in unison before looking over at who won the date. You noticed Eddie’s shoulders seemed to relax in the same way yours did when you saw the table full of five elderly people. The look of recognition on Buck’s face was enough to help you assume they were the people he’d told you about from when a car drove into a book club.

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“Wait, you bid on Eddie?!” Buck asked shocked as he sat up in bed waiting for you to join him.

“Yes. He asked me too. He didn’t want to go on a strange date and well…I kinda didn’t want him to do it either.” You admitted while putting lotion on your legs. Buck didn’t respond for a moment so you looked up to see him just staring off into space. Thinking about something.

“Is it weird that that makes me feel relieved? I mean I know I told him he should get out there and start dating again but…for some reason I don’t think I actually wanted him too.” Buck admitted in a soft whisper. Then his eyes found yours and he suddenly looked panicked.

“It’s not like I don’t want him to find happiness! Because I do! If anyone deserves happiness it’s Eddie…and you! Of course you too. But-“

“Do you often think of me and Eddie in the same way?” You asked. The words falling out of your mouth because you could stop them. Buck’s face showed a rang of emotions as he tried to think of a response. First was annoyance, then fear, then defeat, before his face settled on an expression he normally had when talking about his past relationships.

“I’m not in love with him.” He said before you had the chance to speak. His tone felt almost robotic, as if he’d said this before or maybe he was trying to convince himself.

“I don’t remember saying you are.” You shrugged getting up and moving to crawl into the bed next to him.

“It’s just, this is like the longest relationship I’ve ever had and after I met Eddie, well there was always this point when my exs would get… angry. Like they felt like Eddie was some kind of competition for them or something.” Buck paused as he tried to think of the right words to say.

“Can’t imagine anyone could beat Eddie.” You murmured resting your head on Buck’s shoulder and he tensed for a moment and then relaxed.

“Wait, for me or for you?” Buck suddenly asked and you shrugged.

“I’ve always liked Eddie. He’s a good guy. I can’t imagine there’s a whole lot of people in the world who would come close to him. Well except for you.” You admitted, smiling at the thought.

“Me? Eddie has a silver star!” Buck exclaimed in shock and you laughed.

“I know! You talk about it more than he does.-“

“Oh please, you talk about it way more than I do. Eddie’s got a silver star, Eddie’s a war hero, Eddie is so good with Christopher, oh buck did you see how much Eddie lifts in the gym? Eddie is sooooo hot. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie-“ You laughed covering Bucks mouth with your hand as you flipped over to straddle his waist. He looked up at you pure joy and amusement swimming in his blue eyes. Laughing against your hand as you cut off the horrible attempt at mimicking your voice.

“Okay first of all, I have never said Eddie was hot. I mean he is but I’ve never said it. Also you’re the one that brought up what Eddie lifts and then you guys invited me to go to the gym with you just to prove the point. So really if anyone here is obsessed with Eddie it’s you!” You laughed, letting out a squeal when Buck started tickling your sides. Your hands dropped from his face to grab at his wrists.

“Ok, ok. So maybe we’re both a little insane about our friend but…do you ever think that-“

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so crazy?” You asked finishing Buck’s sentence and he sighed as the two of you shared a look full of love and understanding. You think there’d be more of a shock factor in realizing that you both had feelings for your shared best friend but in truth, it kinda felt like you always knew. Less of a new thought and more something that you already knew. It was just a fact between the two of you. The sky is blue, the 118 is the best firehouse in the city, Eddie Diaz is the hottest man to walk the earth and you’re both in love with him.

“You know I hate it when your sister is right?” You muttered leaning forward to rest all of your weight against Buck, tucking your face into his neck.

“You and me both.” He muttered wrapping his arms around you.

“What are we gonna do?” You asked, Buck was tracing shape against the skin of your lower back as he sighed.

“I have no idea.” He said after a long time.

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It had been three weeks since the auction and it seemed that everyone was starting to notice how weird you and Buck were acting. It was obvious that you guys weren’t fighting because you still came to the station for dinner and Buck still visited you at the call center for lunch. You were both still just as overly affectionate as always. You still loudly said I love you. You still had date nights. The scratch marks on Buck’s back that were visible when he changed in the locker room said that you were still being intimate. Buck still sent texted the 118 family group chat with random facts and you still added tidbits of information like always. Visually nothing was different about the two of you but the energy around you was different. It felt charged, chaotic, strange in a way that was both incredibly present. But also completely invisible. Something was off and no matter who asked you both just said everything was fine.

And that’s how Eddie ended up on your doorstep. He’d dropped Chris off with Hen for the night and he was determined to get to the bottom of the change. Deep down he wanted it to be nothing, he wanted it to just be in his head. But he just couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it was his fault somehow.

Knocking on the door he then shoved his hands in his pockets as he nervously waited for it to open. He could practically hear his heartbeat in his ears and he debated on turning around and running to his truck. He could change his mind and go back to Hen’s and pretend he was never here.

“Eddie?” Buck asked pulling the man from his thoughts. Eddie was quick to look up from the ground with a shy smile.

“Uh…hey.” Eddie muttered

“Is it Ravi? If it is tell him he can’t come in until he calls May back!” You yelled from somewhere in the house causing Buck to laugh and Eddie to look confused.

“Ravi is ghosting May. Anyway come in.” Buck said stepping back and holding the door open. Eddie was quick to walk inside pulling his jacket off.

“Oh! Hi Eddie, I didn’t know you were coming over tonight. Buck’s making lasagna if you want some.” You offered entering the room. Eddie looked over at you and immediately felt the need to look away. You weren’t wearing anything revealing and honestly Eddie has seen you in similar outfits over the years but something about how effortlessly comfortable you looked made you seem incredibly attractive. It was just an old cropped sweater and a pair of cotton shorts. But god did you look magnificent.

Ok in Eddie’s defense over the last three weeks it is possible that the only reason he noticed something was off…Was because he was finally allowing himself to look. And now that he’s looked once, he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

Looking away from you turned out to be a mistake when his eyes landed on Buck. It was a known fact that Buck looked incredible in his uniform, but out of it? Not naked but dressed in casual clothes. Buck in a cardigan was a sight Eddie needed no craved for it to be tattooed inside his eyelids. That way he could see it all the time and never have to miss the sight for too long.

Buck was currently wearing a plain black t-shirt, the sleeves were just a little tighter than they needed to be and he wore grey sweatpants. And Eddie? Eddie felt like he was in hell. Two people should never be allowed to exist in the same space and be this criminally attractive. Honestly Eddie was starting to lose his mind.

“Uh, sure. I’ll uh, yeah lasagna sounds great.” Eddie agreed hoping neither of them would notice the blush on his cheeks as he kicked off his shoes. Purposefully taking the extra second to line them up with Buck’s. You and Buck shared a look before your focus went back to Eddie.

“Everything okay?” Buck asked softly, resting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder once he stood up. You and Buck watched in shock as his entire body seemed to tense. Buck glanced at you from over Eddie’s shoulder as if silently asking for help.

You slowly moved to stand next to Buck, your hand reaching for Eddie’s to offer him comfort. A move you’d done over a thousand times in your friendship. Only instead of relaxing like he usually did, Eddie took an awkward step back to he was out of reach from both of you.

His eyes frantically moving back and forth from both of your faces.

“Eddie? Seriously you’re starting to freak me out. What’s wrong?” You hesitantly spoke while Buck put his arm around you as a source of comfort.

“Juice.” Eddie said suddenly

“What?” You and Buck asked in unison before rushing to follow Eddie as he made frantic steps towards your kitchen.

“I need juice.” Eddie muttered to himself. Reaching into the cabinet for a glass before opening the fridge. He momentarily debated between the freshly squeezed orange juice with mango or the pitcher or water. Then he sighed grabbing the juice and pouring a glass.

“Is this like a low blood sugar kind of thing? Is that something that happens to you now? Should we be watching for signs?-“ Buck began to ramble but stopped when you put your hand on his chest. He looked down at you but you were just staring at Eddie.

The Diaz man was leaning against the counter holding the glass of juice with two hands. Cradling it like it was more important than just a glass, but he also glared at it like it had personally offended him.

“Eddie?” You tried softly and he slowly looked up at you. His eyes glazed over with tears.

“You wanna talk about it?” You offered and he nodded setting the cup to the side before bringing both his hands to his hair.

“Are you guys like…are you okay?” Eddie started gesturing between you and Buck. Your eyebrows raised in shock at the question.

“Um not that I don’t appreciate it. But surely our relationship can’t have you this upset…” Buck muttered and Eddie just looked at him silently begging him to answer the question.

“We’re fine Eddie. Just as happy and in love as ever. Can we talk about you now?” You countered.

“I just I feel weird, and i have felt this way for weeks. I thought maybe it was me picking up on a shift with you guys but I think it’s just me. Something just suddenly feels off. And I…I don’t know.” Eddie grimaced at his weak explanation. His left hand rubbing circles on his chest while the other was clenched in a fist at his side.

“Weeks like since the auction or before?” You wondered out loud. Eddie hesitantly made eye contact with you.

“The auction.”

The let out a soft hum thinking it over. Then you had an idea.

“Is it because I spent 6,000 dollars on a date with you? Because I told you we don’t actually have to go on a date-“ Your joking tone was cut off by Eddie.

“What if I want that?” He asked so suddenly that the question seemed to suck every once of calm from the room.

“What?” Buck forced out. A small sliver of hope swimming in his blue eyes. Eddie looked between the two of you with a look of fear and for a second you wondered if maybe he misinterpreted Buck’s panic for anger. But this is Eddie, the only person in the world that knew Buck as well as you did if not better than you did.

“Wh-what if I do want to go on a date…” Eddie started to say but paused. He let out a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut. You could practically hear your heart trying to beat out of your chest while you looked at him. It was rare that you ever got Buck or Eddie to talk about their feelings without days of not weeks of back and forth. It was even rarer for either of you to get Eddie to actually admit when he wanted something so for him to come to you and talk without prompt. Well you were willing to stand in this kitchen for as long as it takes for him to speak. You felt Buck’s hand slip into yours as you both stood trying your hardest not to push Eddie any further than he was already willing to bend.

“What if I wanted to go on a date but with both of you.” Eddie finally whispered. His voice quieter than you’d ever heard it before, as if he didn’t want you to hear him. His eyes still shut tight both his hands now clenched at his sides.

“Yes.” Buck spoke before you could even fully process Eddie’s words. Eddie’s eyes immediately snapped open as both of you looked over at Buck in shock.

However Buck seemed rather pleased with himself, now leaning against the counter with both his arms crossed over his chest.

“What?” Eddie asked looking between you and Buck. You could tell he wanted you to say something so you did.

“Honestly and don’t take this the wrong way. But it’s kind of all we’ve been able to talk about for the last three weeks.” You admitted causing Buck to gasp

“You weren’t supposed to tell him! Now he probably thinks we’re obsessed with him or something!” Buck exclaimed so you immediately turned to face him.

“Oh please if anyone is obsessed it’s you! I’m just moderately fond of him.” You countered

“Moderately fond?! You spent three hours talking about his arms last night!” Buck pointed out which wasn’t necessarily a lie. You did to that.

“Only because you brought them up! What was I supposed to do? Not talk about them? Yeah, right!” You yelled to your defense because he did. Buck brought up how Eddie had lifted a heavy wardrobe off of a woman completely unassisted on a call.

“Oh so now it’s a crime to think Eddie is hot? Well call the police-“

“I’m still here!” Eddie called out cutting off whatever insane thing was about to come out of Buck’s mouth. The two of you sheepishly turned back to look at Eddie who was staring at you both with wide eyes.

The three of you stood in silence. Buck still held his arms up as if he was surrendering for an arrest. The two of you looking at Eddie while he looked at you.

“Um…” You started to say but stopped when you realized you didn’t actually know what to say.

Then after 30 seconds of complete silence all three of you burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

“Oh shit the lasagna!” Buck gasped rushing towards the oven. You and Eddie watched as he quickly pulled it out.

“Sooo you guys talk about me a lot?” Eddie smirked and you rolled your eyes grabbing his glass of the counter and shoving it against his chest.

“Just drink your juice, Diaz.” You muttered rolling your eyes.

Yay! Another fic complete, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Feel free to check out my other fics if you’re interested. Or if you want to see what I have on the way: click here!

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✨9-1-1 Masterlist

✨Main MasterList

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The plane ride over to California was approximately 4 hours and 30 minutes so it was a total buzzkill. While Jane was probably oozing with anticipation, you were dreading for even tagging along, now coming to the realization that you were gonna be a third wheel. At least, you had Will there to keep you company, who knows what you would have done if he wasn’t.

Once the flight was safely secured on the ground, you hopped out of your seat, tired of being cramped up. After you grabbed your suitcases from baggage claim, you set foot on finding your friends. Your eyes scavenged through the humongous crowd, looking particularly for two brunettes. Fortunately for you, Mike spotted them first and Jane called out his name which alerted you as well. By the time you reached there, Jane gave Mike a small kiss which soon transformed into a hug.

You noticed how Will acted around Mike and you felt bad for him, knowing that the Wheeler boy is excessively enticed with Jane to even acknowledge his affections.

“What, so I don’t get no hug??” You mocked when the couple pulled away from their hug.

“[Name]!” She squealed, immediately enveloping you in a tight hug. You rocked to the side a little bit, your smile widening with each rock, “I missed you the most.” She admitted.

It was an embarrassing scene, Will had intended for a hug but for some reason, Mike settled for an awkward pat on the back. You can notice the disappointment in his eyes and body language.

Once the hug had worn out, you pulled away, taking in her facial features. “Look at you, your hair has grown so long and may I say that you look absolutely gorgeous.” You compliment your friend, loving how she flushes when you play with her hair. Like a bashful child, she gently rocked back and forth on her feet, feeling exceptionally glorified by your comments. How do you still not have a girlfriend is beyond question, seeing as any girl would be lucky to have you. “You have to let me braid your hair one day.”

“Ok, I would love that!”

“Watch out Mike, I might be coming for your girl.” You taunt the Wheeler, bumping shoulders with him as the said boy playfully scoffs. It was nothing too complex, you flirt with your female friends all the time. It was your way of not getting your lesbian heartbroken all the time.

“Welcome to California, dudette.” Argyle greets you, pulling you into a welcome hug.

Argyle removes himself from the hug as he grins at you. “Let me take that for you.” Jonathan takes your suitcase, emitting a thank you from your lips.

“So, how’s the birthday boy, doing today?” You beamed, tugging him in a well-deserved hug. Will didn’t want anybody else to know but he really needed a hug today. He surely couldn’t get it from loverboy Mike so he’ll take what he can get. Besides, your hugs were also so welcoming and peaceful which is why they were best known.

“Happy birthday will.” You handed him a well-decorated gift bag.

“You remembered.” He grinned, taking the gift, peering briefly in the bag.

“Of course I did.” You replied, wrapping an arm around his shoulder in a friendly gesture, when a roll caught your eye in his hand, “What’s that?”

“Just something I’m working on.” He murmurs, clutching onto it tighter. Eyebrows were raised – mainly yours – but you decided to not push further until you arrived home and everyone else started to walk to the exit of the airport.

“You’ve got to tell me that you at least found someone by now,” Will states, helping you in the van. Once everyone was settled in the back, Mike shut the door and the van took off.

“Nope, still single as ever.” You shrug.

“Maybe you’ll find someone here,” Jane assured you, resting a hand on your thigh.

“A girl like me can only dream.” You dramatically gasped, resting your head on Will’s shoulder, awaiting the duration till you reach home.

Being queer in the ’80s was definitely shamed upon so you never took the chance; fear of being outed. As a matter of fact, you’ve never even told your family and Erica has her doubts about your sexuality but never confronted you about it. She knew whenever you were comfortable enough to come out, you would do it. So long story short, you only came out to your friends (including your twin brother Lucas) and Robin.

“Have fun, you guys.” Jonathan declares before Argyle speeds off. Walking into the place of entertainment, you were met with party music, multi-colored lights, and friends distributed into many groups.

“Come on, let's go get our skates!” The Hopper girl announces.

Once the group of four was buckled up in their respective roller skates, they decided to test the waters on the actual rink. It was a chaotic mess, you grabbed Will for support but then he lost balance making him yank onto Mike's shirt and on instinct, the Wheeler boy grasped onto Jane.

You all collided with a thud on the concrete rink but it soon erupted into laughter thereafter. Will suggested getting some milkshakes and settling down before returning back onto the rink. Everyone seemed on board and struggled to leave the rink.

You and Mike secured a booth whereas Jane and Will got the milkshakes. Jokes were shared and laughs were emitted, despite the loud chattering of bystanders – everything seemed to be going great. That was until a group of people, specifically, freshmen strutted towards the table. Although, one girl stood out in particular with her dark brown sleek eyebrows which lead down to her piercing hazel almond eyes to a round button nose, leading toward her downturned pouty light peach lips which outlined a heart-shaped face. Cascading down her shoulder-length natural blonde hair which traveled to her slender figure.

You glanced briefly at Jane who sat beside you as her fingers inched toward your hand. In response, you conjoined your hands together underneath the table.

“Who’s this?” A blonde girl rolled up towards your table, stopping directly to you, her manicured hands resting against your table. She slowly looks you up and down. “She’s cute.”

“Ummm…” Jane initiates, tightening her grip on your hand, “This is [name], one of my best friends.”

“You must be Angela, one of Jane’s friends.” You greeted her with a warm smile, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“You could say that.” Angela shrugs, looking back at her giggling friends before making eye contact back with you. “First time in Cali?”

“Yeah.” Agreeing sheepishly, a smile still present on your face.

“Well, then I’ve got to show you how to skate before you leave.”

“We’re about to finish our milkshakes fir—“

“I was just asking [name].” Angela finishes, giving a short glare towards the Hopper girl before smiling softly at you, once again, “if that’s okay with her of course.”

“Well, I just wanted to stay with my friends and as Jane said, we were soon finished with our drinks.”

“I’m sure Jane won’t mind, right?”

“No, go right ahead [name].” Your brunette friend spoke, even though it sounded a little strained. She slowly detained her hand away from yours, putting it back on the table. You were gonna question her slight hesitation later.

She grabbed your hands and pulled you away onto the rink, amongst many others. “Watch your step.” She giggled, holding your waist to keep you upright.

“How do you even balance these things?” You frustratingly asked, as your skates wobbled on the flat surface beneath you.

“It's easy, just watch.” She held onto your hands as she skated backward and swung you with her. You felt yourself wobbling against the surface but regained your composure as you felt more in control of the skates. Soon enough, you began skating by yourself and even tried it backwards, which you accomplished.

“There you go!” She cheered, moving around in the huge crowd of people simultaneously circling the rink. Gaining the new profound confidence, you skated towards her and clung onto her forearm before slowly sliding down to intertwine your hands together.

From a distance, it looked like you were really good friends but there was so much more than what meets the eye. Of course, they didn’t need to know that.

The blonde girl secretly glanced at your joined hands as her face became slightly tinted with red. What was this new feeling? Why was she feeling this way towards another girl? It felt abnormal to the blonde, to say the least. Why did she gain butterflies whenever she managed to gain your attention? Could she be questioning her sexuality? Your voice brought her out of her many thoughts.

“Do you want me to let off your hand, Angie?”

Not being able to trust her own mouth at the time, she profusely shook her head with a pleasing smile. Giving her a small awkward smile in response, she gripped tightly onto your intertwined hands, noticing how your smile widened at the outcome. You both continued to skate alongside numerous strangers who seemed to be enjoying themselves as much as you.

“How do you think [name]’s doing out there with your friend, Angela?” Mike questioned, his gaze stuck on you and the blonde between the array of people.

“Well, it looks like she’s enjoying herself.” The Byers boy decided that he had to tell you the truth about Angela – for the sake of his sister.

“Do you mind if I get your number?”

“Yeah. Do you have a pen?”

“Nope, but I have a marker. Will that do?”

“Of course.” She wrote her number across your arm and you did the same to her. After that, she waved you a goodbye before skating off the rink.

You waved over back at your friends. “Come on guys, join me!”

The brunette boy decided to confess to you later. Evidently, the boy wasn’t gonna let one tiny mishap ruin his birthday so he joined you back on the rink to which Mike and Jane shadowed. Truth be told, he ended up enjoying himself way more than expected.

“That was fun.” You sighed as you spat out the remaining toothpaste. After finishing your skincare routine, you placed your black silk bonnet on your hair, making sure to catch all of your braids under the material.

“There’s something that you should know about Angela,” Will states, bursting into the bathroom and tugging his sister alongside him. If there’s something about Will, it’s that he’s always honest – on your part anyway.

“Will..please…don’t.”

“Tell me what?” You questioned.

“Angela is a bully who targets Jane.”

“El, is this true?” Instead of answering your question, she held her head down shamefully and that was enough evidence you needed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you were so happy and I haven’t seen you smile that bright as you normally do.”

“Yeah, but I’m not that person who would date someone who treats one of her friends like shit.” You couldn’t believe it, Eleven was keeping her feelings down at bay for you. All because she wanted you to be happy with yourself. You had really taken a liking to Angela but you wish that it was under different circumstances. “I’m confronting her tomorrow.”

“[Name], please you’ll only make it worse.”

“Look, el.” You approached her, conjoining your hands together, “You are one of my best friends and you deserve the world. And I will personally kick her ass if that’s what it takes. I care about her but I truly love you. I love Jane Byers-Hopper.”

After breakfast, you were utterly determined to detain this dispute between Jane and Angela. Dialing her number on the phone which was mounted on the wall, you waited for her to answer the call. “[Name], I didn't expect a call from you so soon.” She twirled the colored wire between her fingers. The girl didn't want to admit it but listening to your voice made her perceive a fuzzy feeling in her heart – things that not even her ex-boyfriend made her experience.

“You’re bullying Jane, are you serious?”

“Oh…you heard about that…” You can practically sense her awkward smile, “Thought you'd never find out about that minor detail.”

“Find out?! How long were you planning to keep that from me?” You spluttered out, seeing Jane’s concerned face as she ate an apple.

“Probably till you left California.” She confessed, “Now that I’m seeing how much Jane means a lot to you, so I want to make it right.”

“Wanna do things right, apologize to Jane.”

“You’ve got to be kidding. I’m not apologizing to her.”

“Fine, then get rid of my number.” It became silent on her end, only her foreground being audible. “You made her life a living hell for whatever reason. I don’t date bullies.” Did Angela know that she was the first to string you in a romantic relationship? No. Were you going to tell her? Absolutely not!! You just made it seem like you’ve had a dating history so she’ll know that you’re willing to cut her off, right then and there.

“Okay, I’ll do it for you.”

“I don’t want you doing it for me, I want you to mean it from the bottom of your heart.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“Don’t know, but you better pull your shit together Angela, or else don’t expect a call from me tonight.” You could hear her sigh deeply. “[Name]—” Beep. Slamming the phone back against its hook as it resulted in Angela’s phone going completely static. You were infuriated at the blonde girl, why couldn’t she just apologize to your friend?

“What happened?”

“The decision is totally in her hands.” You spoke, taking in a deep inhale to stop yourself from mistakenly shouting at the brunette. Besides, Eleven didn’t do anything wrong, she’s just a victim and as for Angela; you were certain that she’s just a footnote in your life as of this moment. “I am officially no longer associated with Angela for the time being.”

“You didn't have to do that for me,” Jane told you.

“I wanted to do it for you.” You insisted, enticing a small smile from her lips. “Now come on, let’s go braid your hair.”

It was a week later and still no response from the blonde. Your hopes were dashed and you were leaving in 3 days which meant that when you leave, Angela is still going to bully Jane and you only could have made it possibly worse. Maybe, your younger self was right, love is and always will be completely overrated.

Your ears perked up at the doorbell but remained rooted in the chair, looking down at the half-finished puzzle. Until Ms. Byers pulled you entirely out of your thoughts. “Can you get that sweetie?” Joyce asked you.

“Sure, Ms. Byers.” You replied, getting up from the table to answer the door. Swiftly unlocking the door, you were met with the familiar hairstyle of your not-so-favorite blonde.

“Hey, [name].” She greets, nervously playing with her fingers, seemingly avoiding your eyes. “Do you mind if I come in?”

“I don’t know, will you stop being a bitch to my friend?”

“I deserve that.” She sighs, holding her head down. Reluctantly, you moved aside, urging her to come inside and she followed suit with a tiny grin. Thereafter, you shut and locked the door behind her.

Just then, Joyce’s voice rang out. “Who is it?”

“Just one of Jane’s classmates.” You informed the brunette woman, who relentlessly went back to cooking lunch. Guiding the blonde into the living room as she planted herself a seat on the couch and you sat across from her, barely a few inches away from her.

“One mishap and I’ll make it seem as though we’ve never met.”

“Is that a threat?” She quirked an eyebrow with a teasing tone, leaning closer as if she was commencing a challenge.

“If you see it like it.” Now it was your turn to lean in, now your noses were barely touching, lips centimeters away and you could hear her quickened breath. Yep, there was no way that Angela was straight. She started to speak, “I’ve never kissed another girl before.”

“Well, luckily for you, I have experience.” Her eyes slightly droop to your plump brown lips as she let out a quiet shaky exhale. “Don’t worry, I’ll lead you through it.” Slowly, you raised your right hand to cup her cheek and she didn’t move away but instead found herself frozen in place. Was it the numbness of her current sentimental stupor, or, maybe, the pounding of her heart was becoming too loud for her? Or perhaps, it was the tingly sensation in her stomach which made her feel that it was too good to be true? You and her, in an intimate position, lips longing to touch the other; craving to be tasted.

You yearned to just close the tiny gap and make the connection of your lips tangible. Seemingly, a new presence overtake the private moment but you ignored them, still wanting to finish what you started.

Though when a voice speaks up, “[Name], what is she doing here?” The pair broke apart, either one of you not daring to look at the intruder as you kept your gaze on the floor and Angela kept running her hands through her silky blonde hair as her eyes were content on her lap. She felt the couch weight moving, your posture stood upright as you began talking to Eleven.

“She came here to make things right between you two.” You cautiously stated, unaware of how she might react to this change of events. As for Angela, she was still trying to contain herself as the fluttering butterflies were still present in her stomach. So after two minutes, she faced Eleven, still seated on the couch, creating immediate eye contact with the brunette girl. “Didn’t you?” Apparently, as the blonde stared at the hopper girl, she became unresponsive. “Angela! Snap out of it!”

“Ye-yes I did. Can we talk…in private?”

Jane looked skeptical at the blonde's preference of words. So with a stone-hard look, she spoke, “I don't want your fake apology.” The girl clicked her tongue in disappointment. But hey, at least she tried, that’s gotta mean something.

But when Jane meets your disappointed gaze across your features – even though you tried your best not to show it – her intimidating expression wavers slightly. Then, she remembers how you were the first one there for her when she escaped the lab and how you showed her what a period was leading to how a girl’s body functions, sharing your clothes with her. Even though she had a rough childhood, you made her feel a normal girl. You were her first friend and she didn’t want to lose you over her tiny grudge.

With a quick inhale, she spoke, “I guess a few minutes won’t hurt.” For some reason, you formed a small smile cause you knew if Eleven still had her powers, Angela would be deemed defenseless against the Hopper girl.

So you all walked to Jane’s room, not wanting anyone else to interrupt their conversation. “Could you, stay outside the door.” Jane pleaded with you, her chestnut eyes doe. “Just in case, Angela tries anything.”

“Of course, J.” You concluded with a firm smile.

She gently closes the door and a few seconds later, Will wandered down the hall with a concerning look on his face. “Whose in there with Jane?”

“Angela.”

“Angela? Angela, El’s bully?” Will exclaimed, completely frantic.

“Maybe she’s changed.” You awkwardly clasp your hands together. Who were you even trying to convince?

“We’re talking about the same Angela, right?!”

On the other side of the door, the teen girls began their conversation. “Jane, could we please get along at least for [name]’s sake.”

“Stop using my friend as a decoy and be honest.”

“I know that it'll take you some time to forgive me but…I really like [name] despite the short period that we've known each other.” She clarifies, earning a mini scowl from the brunette. “It was also very low of me to talk about your…father. I'll also get my friends to stop bullying you.”

Jane looks down, suddenly all shy as she fiddled with her fingers. “You promise, you won’t hurt her.”

“I promise.” She assures your best friend.

“Good. Then I suppose we could be friends.” Eleven finishes but there was another lingering question in mind. “Although, I never understood why you chose to bully me.”

“I guess I just saw how carefree you were and was jealous and again, I’m so sorry. Can we maybe…be friends?”

“If that’s what you want.”

Unable to contain your curiosity any longer, you opened the door taking the girls by surprise. “So does that mean you guys are friends now?”

“We’ll be working on that.” Angela chuckles, earning a chuckle from Jane as well.

Jane noticed the tension between you and Angela so she left the room, making sure to the closing behind her.

“I’m really glad that you two are start—“ Pulling you into her by the collar of your shirt, your lips colliding together for a loving kiss. Startled by the initiation, your body tensed at the unique sensation — it was gentle. Was it a bad time to say that this was your first kiss? Your lips mold together perfectly in sync as her hands move down to your waist and your hands caress her face. The kiss lasted for a few seconds until air became a necessity.

“Sorry, I have just been wanting to do that as it seems that you don’t get any privacy in this house.” She breathlessly confessed, her grip on your waist slightly faltering. You could see the tint of deep rose red forming its way onto her cheeks.

“How about we do it again, you know just for safety measures.”

“You’ve read my mind.” With that, your lips find each other once again, this time more tenderly and passionately.

Now maybe you can tally up to all those times that your friends bullied you for being single. This time you’ll be coming home with a girlfriend and even if it’s long-distance, you were certain that you can make it work. Because of course, the heart wants what it wants.

The way he see's it pretty little things like you shouldn't have to work hard to get off, your meant to be laid down and treated nicely. Much to soft and sweet to ever think of rough housing -no that's for alley whores -the kind he used to stick his dick in back in highschool.

Retired Pro Hero Bakugou! Who hardly ever lets degrading words slip from his lips when He's inside of you. You're his wife. The love of his life and every glorious and beautiful thing in the world wrapped in one pretty brown package-no matter how lewd the action, how sinful the sex-he only knows praise.

" Look at you, taking daddys cock so well, feels good for my pretty girl right?

" That's right baby let daddy do everything, pretty girls like you shouldn't strain yourself."

"Such a pretty brown cunt and you always taste s' good for me. "

Retired Pro hero Bakugou! Who lets you use him like stress relief after work. He knows how long your days are so after your done eating the dinner he dutifully makes for you every night he'll prop you right on his face or cock so you can lazily grind yourself to orgasm.

Retired pro hero Bakugou! who just gets off on making you get off. He could watch his cock slide into your sloppy cunt over and over and never get tired of it, or the little sounds you make when he hits a particularly sweet spot.

"Right there, yeah? , my cute lil' princess likes it just like that " He'll breathe into your neck, cock Pistoning against your g spot as you quiver around him.

Retired pro hero Bakugou! whose become god send at aftercare. It dosent matter that you never have to strain yourself much during sex or that he dosent use harsh words, he still prides himself on pampering you after every session.

He'll massage your shoulders , feet and back no matter how much you protest that your ok.

" You spend all you time running around on your feet or hunched over a keyboard you need this anyway" The blonde grunts working shae butter into your joints.

After he's massaged and oiled you he'll cook whatever food you want from scratch and start making your lunch for work the next day.

He doesn't have any more time to think as the wooden door creaks open, your head peeking out, visibly taken back as you stare at the man in front of you.

There's a moment of uncomfortable silence before you throw your arms around him in that way you used to do when you were kids face buried in his chest and for a moment, he feels as if despite everything the two of you will be ok.

A familiar voice sends him crashing back down to reality.

"Well if it isn't shitty Deku, you gonna stand outside or ya gonna come in ?"

Midoriya wants to ask what the fuck Katsuki's doing in your house -or better yet why his hand is snaking across your lower back - but he doesn't-its not his place anymore.

He really shouldn't come inside, just like he really shouldn't have back home, still he plasters the best fake smile he can manage and lets the two of you lead him inside.

My throat is getting dry and my heart is racing.

You were expecting a neighbor, a package, anything that wasn't Izuku Midoriya.

Yet there he stood on your front doorstep in all his absent glory.

You had wanted to scream, hit him, ask him what right he had coming back after ghosting you for so long. smack him across the face, and somehow you still found yourself wrapping your arms around him.

It didn't matter how many years had passed you were still the stupid girl you were when he left.

" I was just back in town, wanted to stop by and see how you- The green-haired man's eyes flicker from you to Bakugou - you guys were doing ."

" Were fine we were just - working on a project - a nursery" You say cringing at the sound of your voice,

"Your expecting" The hurt in his voice almost makes you feel bad but there's a small part of you-a a shameful part that revels in it.

Knowing that you've somehow hurt him.

"Trying" You correct.

"Hey, the agency called me in to fill in for shitty hairs shift. That dumb fuck got injured on patrol"

Your stomach turns at the thought of being alone with him but you still scurry off to kiss your fiancé on the cheek like a doting girlfriend should, waving as you see him out, dreading having to go back and face him, but walking back to the living room anyways.

"So you and Katsuki huh." You're taken back at how quickly he brought it up.

"Yeah after you left me-Musutafu, We got closer." You choke out, wandering off to the kitchen to busy yourself with making drinks, washing dishes, anything to put off having the conversation you had dreaded for years.

"Close enough to have a kid?" He whispered

He's following you now. probably thinks you couldn't hear it - but you did.

"Like that's any of you're fucking business " You snap, turning around to face him for the first time in what felt like centuries.

I haven't been by your side in a minute, But sometimes I think about it.

He knows he's gone too far. Knows it's not his place to be here right now or question who you've been fucking around with.

But he can't help it.

The feeling of betrayal that courses through his veins as He studies the stupid framed pictures of you and Katsuki at the beach, at the carnival, camping. The way his mind screams that it should have been him.

" You're right" I just always thought -He stops clearing his throat- "Always thought we'd end up together."

He can see the way your bodies tense and you turn back around, making your way to the fridge.

"I think everyone thought before you ran away Izuku," You say, the coldness in your voice sending shivers down his spine.

"I didn't fucking- I didn't runaway y/n" Izuku hisses. voice rising

"Yes the fuck you did, you ran away, and now you pissed at me because I didn't fucking wait for you."

It's half true. Sometimes He stays awake at night thinking about how different everything would have been if he never left, or you saved yourself for him.

Sometimes all he thinks about is you.

" Look Midoriya, why are you here ?" you ask slamming the fridge, seems to have to give up on whatever imaginary thing you were looking for.

" I just thought you should know I never forgot our promise.

Even though it's not that distant, oh no I still reminiscence it.

You remember the promise too.

You had been fucking idiots back then. Dreaming fantastical dreams and making outlandish promises that you now know neither of you could have ever kept.

I think of that night in the park it was getting dark and we stayed up for hours.

Of course, you still fucking remembered.

You would never forget that night in the park. It had been years ago, but you still remembered it like it had happened earlier today,

A few weeks before he ran away Izuku had knocked on your window in the middle of the night, smiling like an idiot as he told you to follow him, grab his hand -that he would hold you on the climb down. Laughing at the way you were afraid of falling.

"Don't you trust me?" He had asked

You did trust him.

against your better judgment, you let him pick you up and hoist you out of the window, screeching a little as he pivoted of the side of your house and onto the ground.

The two of you wondered about the neighborhood for a while before stopping at some park up the street from your house, Settling on a swing.

He had kissed you for the first time that night on the swings- it had been awkward and amazing all at once. the type of thing you never forget.

You'd Cling to my body like you'd wanted it forever

That night if he had wanted to go further you would have let him.

It's what everyone expected- what you expected of boys his age-to try to hit all the bases with you and there were parts of you that wanted to do it too - to cross that line with him.

instead of trying to talk you out of your panties he had grabbed your hand and promised you he'd come back for you.

You hadn't been sure what he meant back then and when you had tried to ask he told you not to worry about it, only that you needed to promise him that you would wait for him.

You had. Because in your stupid teenage mind you believed that nothing could separate you. No distance or time.

You had been wrong.

When you had received the same letter everyone else at U. A had, vaguely explaining his disappearance, you had thought you would him being gone for a few days would be fine. But the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years, it had got to the point where if it weren't for the news reports detailing the latest feat of the new symbol of peace-you weren't sure if he was even alive.

What a time, What a time, What a time, For you and I

"You didn't wait for me Izuku finally says" Feeling the weight of too many years start to lift off of his shoulders.

"Well, it's not like you ever came back" You whisper. " And I did wait"

Your voice is cracking and he's sure you are about to start crying but you keep going anyway, He can tell you've waited far too long to get this off your chest.

" Do you know what it was like to reserve yourself for someone you don't even know is fucking alive - spending all your time worrying about someone who never even bothered to call but had no problem showing up years fucking later and acting as you owe him something.

" I wanted to - I wanted to talk to you but

"If you wanted to you would" You cut him off.

"You don't know what you put me through, how crazy I looked waiting for you when everyone else gave up?

I know we didn't end it like we're supposed to and now we get a bit tense.

The tears are falling now, flowing really.

" I still love you, never stopped, " He says voice quiet. A part of you wants to believe him the same little girl who spent all that time waiting begs you to believe him, but the older you, the present you won't allow it.

The sound of the door creaking open has both of walking back to the living room to greet Katsuki's who covered from head to toe in soot.

" I interrupt some shit ?" The blonde asks kicking off his heavy work boots.

" No Honey, Deku was just leaving we did some catching up is all, got on the same page n' whatnot. "

The green-haired man takes his cue to leave, giving Katsuki a nod before walking out the door.

I wonder if my mind leaves out all the bad parts.

sometimes in the dead of the night when Katsuki's fast asleep you find yourself thinking about how different things would have been if he had come back, or if you waited all this time for him.

You let yourself fantasize about the family you would have had and the house you would probably have owned, the names of children that will never exist.

but as your pregnancy test finally comes back positive and Katsuki pops the question you don't let yourself think about what could've been.

There is only what is.

----

i hope all of you suffer and all of this was intentional