#hurtnocomofrt

He doesn't have any more time to think as the wooden door creaks open, your head peeking out, visibly taken back as you stare at the man in front of you.

There's a moment of uncomfortable silence before you throw your arms around him in that way you used to do when you were kids face buried in his chest and for a moment, he feels as if despite everything the two of you will be ok.

A familiar voice sends him crashing back down to reality.

"Well if it isn't shitty Deku, you gonna stand outside or ya gonna come in ?"

Midoriya wants to ask what the fuck Katsuki's doing in your house -or better yet why his hand is snaking across your lower back - but he doesn't-its not his place anymore.

He really shouldn't come inside, just like he really shouldn't have back home, still he plasters the best fake smile he can manage and lets the two of you lead him inside.

My throat is getting dry and my heart is racing.

You were expecting a neighbor, a package, anything that wasn't Izuku Midoriya.

Yet there he stood on your front doorstep in all his absent glory.

You had wanted to scream, hit him, ask him what right he had coming back after ghosting you for so long. smack him across the face, and somehow you still found yourself wrapping your arms around him.

It didn't matter how many years had passed you were still the stupid girl you were when he left.

" I was just back in town, wanted to stop by and see how you- The green-haired man's eyes flicker from you to Bakugou - you guys were doing ."

" Were fine we were just - working on a project - a nursery" You say cringing at the sound of your voice,

"Your expecting" The hurt in his voice almost makes you feel bad but there's a small part of you-a a shameful part that revels in it.

Knowing that you've somehow hurt him.

"Trying" You correct.

"Hey, the agency called me in to fill in for shitty hairs shift. That dumb fuck got injured on patrol"

Your stomach turns at the thought of being alone with him but you still scurry off to kiss your fiancé on the cheek like a doting girlfriend should, waving as you see him out, dreading having to go back and face him, but walking back to the living room anyways.

"So you and Katsuki huh." You're taken back at how quickly he brought it up.

"Yeah after you left me-Musutafu, We got closer." You choke out, wandering off to the kitchen to busy yourself with making drinks, washing dishes, anything to put off having the conversation you had dreaded for years.

"Close enough to have a kid?" He whispered

He's following you now. probably thinks you couldn't hear it - but you did.

"Like that's any of you're fucking business " You snap, turning around to face him for the first time in what felt like centuries.

I haven't been by your side in a minute, But sometimes I think about it.

He knows he's gone too far. Knows it's not his place to be here right now or question who you've been fucking around with.

But he can't help it.

The feeling of betrayal that courses through his veins as He studies the stupid framed pictures of you and Katsuki at the beach, at the carnival, camping. The way his mind screams that it should have been him.

" You're right" I just always thought -He stops clearing his throat- "Always thought we'd end up together."

He can see the way your bodies tense and you turn back around, making your way to the fridge.

"I think everyone thought before you ran away Izuku," You say, the coldness in your voice sending shivers down his spine.

"I didn't fucking- I didn't runaway y/n" Izuku hisses. voice rising

"Yes the fuck you did, you ran away, and now you pissed at me because I didn't fucking wait for you."

It's half true. Sometimes He stays awake at night thinking about how different everything would have been if he never left, or you saved yourself for him.

Sometimes all he thinks about is you.

" Look Midoriya, why are you here ?" you ask slamming the fridge, seems to have to give up on whatever imaginary thing you were looking for.

" I just thought you should know I never forgot our promise.

Even though it's not that distant, oh no I still reminiscence it.

You remember the promise too.

You had been fucking idiots back then. Dreaming fantastical dreams and making outlandish promises that you now know neither of you could have ever kept.

I think of that night in the park it was getting dark and we stayed up for hours.

Of course, you still fucking remembered.

You would never forget that night in the park. It had been years ago, but you still remembered it like it had happened earlier today,

A few weeks before he ran away Izuku had knocked on your window in the middle of the night, smiling like an idiot as he told you to follow him, grab his hand -that he would hold you on the climb down. Laughing at the way you were afraid of falling.

"Don't you trust me?" He had asked

You did trust him.

against your better judgment, you let him pick you up and hoist you out of the window, screeching a little as he pivoted of the side of your house and onto the ground.

The two of you wondered about the neighborhood for a while before stopping at some park up the street from your house, Settling on a swing.

He had kissed you for the first time that night on the swings- it had been awkward and amazing all at once. the type of thing you never forget.

You'd Cling to my body like you'd wanted it forever

That night if he had wanted to go further you would have let him.

It's what everyone expected- what you expected of boys his age-to try to hit all the bases with you and there were parts of you that wanted to do it too - to cross that line with him.

instead of trying to talk you out of your panties he had grabbed your hand and promised you he'd come back for you.

You hadn't been sure what he meant back then and when you had tried to ask he told you not to worry about it, only that you needed to promise him that you would wait for him.

You had. Because in your stupid teenage mind you believed that nothing could separate you. No distance or time.

You had been wrong.

When you had received the same letter everyone else at U. A had, vaguely explaining his disappearance, you had thought you would him being gone for a few days would be fine. But the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years, it had got to the point where if it weren't for the news reports detailing the latest feat of the new symbol of peace-you weren't sure if he was even alive.

What a time, What a time, What a time, For you and I

"You didn't wait for me Izuku finally says" Feeling the weight of too many years start to lift off of his shoulders.

"Well, it's not like you ever came back" You whisper. " And I did wait"

Your voice is cracking and he's sure you are about to start crying but you keep going anyway, He can tell you've waited far too long to get this off your chest.

" Do you know what it was like to reserve yourself for someone you don't even know is fucking alive - spending all your time worrying about someone who never even bothered to call but had no problem showing up years fucking later and acting as you owe him something.

" I wanted to - I wanted to talk to you but

"If you wanted to you would" You cut him off.

"You don't know what you put me through, how crazy I looked waiting for you when everyone else gave up?

I know we didn't end it like we're supposed to and now we get a bit tense.

The tears are falling now, flowing really.

" I still love you, never stopped, " He says voice quiet. A part of you wants to believe him the same little girl who spent all that time waiting begs you to believe him, but the older you, the present you won't allow it.

The sound of the door creaking open has both of walking back to the living room to greet Katsuki's who covered from head to toe in soot.

" I interrupt some shit ?" The blonde asks kicking off his heavy work boots.

" No Honey, Deku was just leaving we did some catching up is all, got on the same page n' whatnot. "

The green-haired man takes his cue to leave, giving Katsuki a nod before walking out the door.

I wonder if my mind leaves out all the bad parts.

sometimes in the dead of the night when Katsuki's fast asleep you find yourself thinking about how different things would have been if he had come back, or if you waited all this time for him.

You let yourself fantasize about the family you would have had and the house you would probably have owned, the names of children that will never exist.

but as your pregnancy test finally comes back positive and Katsuki pops the question you don't let yourself think about what could've been.

There is only what is.

----

i hope all of you suffer and all of this was intentional