#felaket

and, frankly, it is hard to deal w sometimes. it is a roadblock when you are trying to wholeheartedly interact and communicate with them; but the thing is its a defense mechanism and theyre not doing it to piss you off, becaise not everything is about you. true compassion lies in understanding that they dont tell you when theyre mad because theyre afraid of punishment tenfold if they vocalize discontent. if 'people pleasers' come off as manipulative, lying, etc to you, then that shows you have not tried to be a safe person for them to be vulnerable with. because it doesn't take me long tbh to gain the trust of someone w a fawn response; they just need reassurance that they wont be thrown off windows for voicing their thoughts, really.

once again its a problem of not having learned compassion for other beings and viewing anything that makes you personally upset as morally bankrupt in some way. its deeply individualistic, ableist, and utterly devoid of any sense of care for the unfortunate, who have to develop these unhealthy coping mechanisms to survive.

you’re so fucking right!!

i find it deeply upsetting that a non-zero amount of people see people pleasing behavior as manipulative and like somehow the people pleaser gets something out of it when they are often sacrificing their own comfort FOR YOU!!! what they get out of it is not disappointing or upsetting you, that’s literally it.

if you somehow twisted that into the people pleaser being selfish, you’re too far gone (/nsrs but COME ON, don’t be fucking stupid).