#fastfriend

You know,

So I have become Fast Friends with the person who replaced me working for Crush! I enjoy her company tremendously and she's very funny! We went to the beach yesterday and talked a LOT about many things but crush came up often because we talked about work quite a bit. So I got some inside information on things he hasn't told me himself (good things!!!)

He told her, when I left my ex, he saw a "night and day" difference in me, almost immediately. He could tell I was light and free and happy for the first time, like, ever. And he saw my confidence, aptitude at work, energy, drive, interest in new hobbies, everything just exploded and expanded and grew at a pace he'd never seen in ANYONE before. Two weeks after the breakup he asked me how I was doing with it, I said 1000% better, he said he could tell. But he didn't tell me all that, about the explosion of change. He also didn't tell me - the whole time I was still trapped in that relationship - that he could tell when something had happened. He could tell when I had had a bad night or a bad weekend (I was usually up till 1 AM either getting yelled at for No Reason or Attempting to break up and then being verbally worn down till I gave up and didn't finalize the break). I suppose maybe he didn't put the pieces together until very recently, when I finally used the word Abuse to describe it. It makes total sense that he would notice, He's just Like That. He pays that much attention and he is so gentle and he cares so much. But I still almost can't believe that he would care that much about ME of all people. Can't believe he would pay that much attention to ME. I've never felt so Seen by anyone in my life. I often worry I'm super annoying and he secretly hates me, and I said that to FastFriend, and she said (paraphrasing) 'No, it's very obvious he definitely does not hate you, he likes you and he sees you and he cares about you.'

And then today I texted him to check back about our plans to go see the new Deadpool movie. He said his week filled up with family and adulting obligations, but next week looks more clear. He said he was sorry, and promised we'd get together soon. (God I fucking melt when he says the words 'I promise.') I said I understand, life happens, I could never be mad at you. He said, and I quote, "doesn't matter, still wanna catch up with you soon."

This is the warmest fuzziest feeling I've had in a long time.