#fandomcrack

DP x DC Prompt (Humor / Chaos Edition)

It started normal. Which, in Wayne terms, means slightly catastrophic but manageable.

Training in the Cave. Damian threatening to stab Jason again. Cass winning. Tim asleep standing up.

Then the air freezes. Like, actual frost crawling up the Batcomputer.

A glowing guy in a hoodie just phases through the ceiling. Bright white hair, green eyes, whole ecto-god vibe.

And then he tackles Bruce Wayne like a golden retriever finding his long-lost tennis ball.

“ARCHIE! My BABY!”

The family: 😶

Bruce: “Excuse me—?” Jason: “Did he just call B baby?” Tim, already recording: “Oh this is going online.” Damian: “If this is a cult, we’re burning the cave.”

The stranger (still hugging Bruce): “You’re so grown! Look at you! I knew cloning was risky, but—”

Whole family: “CLONING???”

Cue ten minutes of screaming, two fainting Robins, and one very confused Batman trying to process that he’s apparently the clone of a dead teen god who rules ghosts.

Danny just looks at them all, smiling, completely oblivious to the existential crisis unfolding:

DP x DC Prompt (Humor / Chaos Edition)

It started normal. Which, in Wayne terms, means slightly catastrophic but manageable.

Training in the Cave. Damian threatening to stab Jason again. Cass winning. Tim asleep standing up.

Then the air freezes. Like, actual frost crawling up the Batcomputer.

A glowing guy in a hoodie just phases through the ceiling. Bright white hair, green eyes, whole ecto-god vibe.

And then he tackles Bruce Wayne like a golden retriever finding his long-lost tennis ball.

“ARCHIE! My BABY!”

The family: 😶

Bruce: “Excuse me—?” Jason: “Did he just call B baby?” Tim, already recording: “Oh this is going online.” Damian: “If this is a cult, we’re burning the cave.”

The stranger (still hugging Bruce): “You’re so grown! Look at you! I knew cloning was risky, but—”

Whole family: “CLONING???”

Cue ten minutes of screaming, two fainting Robins, and one very confused Batman trying to process that he’s apparently the clone of a dead teen god who rules ghosts.

Danny just looks at them all, smiling, completely oblivious to the existential crisis unfolding:

Lucian “Lux” Marrow has way too many titles and absolutely zero survival instinct for anyone around him:

Harbinger of the Lost

Echo of Unraveled Sanity

Warden of the Inevitable

Reborn Soul of Toppled Kingdoms and Slaughtered Tyrants

And for Gotham’s collective blood pressure, he finally decides to use them.

After Lady Gotham drops yet another stack of “usual massacre nonsense” reports—Clown murders again, rogue destroys half a block again—Lux just. Snaps. Or reverse-snaps. Double-snaps. Reality-snaps? No one knows what his baseline even is.

Point is: He decides to actually avenge the lost.

Which, in Lux-speak, translates to:

Eliminate. Every. Major. Rogue. Personally.

And he does it like he’s speedrunning a villain genocide route.

The Bats notice IMMEDIATELY.

The Problem™?

There is zero evidence.

Lux appears at every crime scene but:

No weapon

No fingerprints

No DNA

Cameras? Toast.

Witnesses? Snoozing.

Lux himself? Looks like he walked out of a celestial fashion ad with “ethereal blood-resistant footwear”

They even tried turning him in to Gordon—Lux just walked out on bail with a 🙂 like the most smug cosmic cat.

Batman is losing the remainder of his sanity. The rest of the Batfam? Unbothered. Rowan (Jason equivalent)? Has a crush the size of Crime Alley and is actively rooting for him.

Worst part?

Lux knows. He knows exactly how badly this drives Batman up the wall. And he escalates the bit like it’s performance art.

Scene of the Year

Batman: You just killed Scarecrow.

Lux — standing in a puddle of fresh, unmistakably villain blood: “No I didn’t.”

Batman: You’re literally STANDING in his blood.

Lux: “Prove I didn’t mistake this puddle for cherry punch.”

Batman: WHY would you stand in punch—?!

Lux: “Why are you policing my hobbies, cryptid?”