#faking hell

I don’t have any friends to talk to extensively atm (busy? fuckers...) so my only other outlet of expressing myself is this, so... sorry...? not sorry it’s my blog still sO

Well, I was kinda bugging out, and I didn’t wanna go to the get together, but to me, it was important to go see my friend because we are friends. He’s like four hours away now and I do miss him, but honestly, this was one get together that was nice for once :) I did get to see my friend, but he’s a big socialite, so I didn’t spend all the time with him, but it was fine because his friends from his school were super sweet💕, and I had a great time meeting and talking to them actually??? :,) Even though I didn’t get to spend the whole time with my friend, I met his hot cousin who’s an artist (he and I were actually in a good convo I wanna meet him again coz... he’s hot tf?? AND MY AGE TF), and overall I actually had a good time awe :,) I just wanted to mention some things like how my friend went in for the half hug and I fakin wrapped my arms around him in front of his homies I was like ‘fak u guys’. Then I saw his chickens (welcome to Texas), and we were talking about his hair because he has to grow it out for a production he’s doing, and he went Sebastian Stan on me (coz he had to grow out his hair and beard) and he was like “I see myself in the mirror and I look familiar... but idrk the guy in the mirror” I was like ‘oh dat method acting’. Anyway, I brought up my hair, and he said he noticed it got longer he was like :0, 😏 like ‘yas, bitch, u like?’ Then I rode shotgun to the get together coz I ain’t gave no fucks. I was the only one of his (undergrad) college peeps there... I felt entitled... I shouldn’t have, but I did. I don’t get to see him they go to school with them. I love them, but fak dat lol. Well, on the way, he told me whenever he has a bad day, my snap stories always cheer him up like 😍😩 I still matter 😩😍 I’m also one to pick up on body language, and my favorite thing (lord help me forgive me for my sins this is partially the reason why I like muscular dudes it’s coz of this fool) was that he kept messing with his hair, and pushing it back, and we started talking about creepy guy (that new guy) and he was like concerned kinda not really but kinda he was like “does he think you’re hot or something?” I was like, ‘shit do you think I’m hot or something with the way you keep fixing your hair..?’ lol. He also told his friends that I’m a [good... great?] soprano, and one thing that stood out was, he said I sang beautifully. Ya’ll he one of my favorite singers. He can be lying out his ass, and that compliment is still everything. Then this motherfucker said he was itchy, but we were in a group, so he was showing off. the bITch. He was fixing the collar of his shirt, and, bitch, the guns came out I had to pray. It was those good ass biceps like fUck who?? WHy??? disgraceful. Then (and then and then find me a new transition) we were doing a singing, and I know he’s like an amazing singer he’s in it 600%, but eventually started leaning back on me (coz we were sitting on a picnic table), idk why he was leaning back on me, but I had no problems with it. Bitch, when we were talking at one point, he propped his fuking leg up on the seat of the table... idk if body language is real, but it was real like damn boy chill. shit, but I’m not gonna fw him... my friend did and the bitch had to move on... he’s not one to even really think about, but i do :,) a lil... it’d be adorable if his body language meant what I think it does lol

The only thing that was off-putting was that it seemed like he forgot how I was in a way? and he got kinda... intimidated-like defensive sometimes, kinda overthinking my intentions, like if I smiled while he was talking he’d be like “Did I say something wrong?” like no, fool, what you’re saying is making me smile, not how you’re saying it... which is strange... but I can understand coz I’m known to be a little asshole, but yeah. Usually get togethers aren’t my thing, but tbh, I met his hot cousin, that’s all that matters. Honestly, I wish that, that bitch woulda showed up sooner... I’d fucks with that... shoot. lol

But I really, really, really fucking hate Chris Colfer's mom. Like. The fuq woman, the fuq. 

"I was called a homo, a faggot, a queer. My mother would tell me that she hated me. Once she told me she wished she had an abortion instead of a gay son. She told me that she wished I had been born with Down's Syndrome... Or that I had been mentally retarded. I would go home crying."