#fabfem

Well, in 2020 one got married and then divorced last year because she realized she wasn’t attracted to him. So she’s a lesbian.

Last summer one of them started dating a girl and told me recently that she has never been attracted to a man before, despite multiple boyfriends. She’s engaged to the girlfriend now.

Anyway, I sometimes wonder if I’ve just forced myself to think I like men, but then I stop and think for a second I recognize I’m definitely bi.

So, I guess the take away here is I’m bi and proud. If you thought you were bi and now realize you’re lesbian, there’s no shame in that. Comp het is a heck of a drug and you are still a lesbian and have always been. You aren’t bringing shame upon the bis. We get it.

Dear Anon, I’m unfamiliar with the term “fabfem”, but I’m old and don’t always catch onto all the newest lingo. I tried googling it, but I just got FabFems.org: FabFems are women from a broad range of professions in science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM). On first glance, there doesn’t seem to be much to hate there?

Maybe you’re thinking of the term “Febfem"? A febfem is a bisexual female who, by choice, exclusively dates females (aka Female Exclusive Bisexual FEMale). It looks like the term was coined/is used by radfem tumblr, which explains why people hate it (it has a basis in being exclusionary, it shames bisexuals who don’t exclusively date females, doesn’t take NB people into account at all, most radfem stuff is generally squicky and Terfy, etc). (see: https://fandom-is-for-pleasure.tumblr.com/post/181174552399/what-does-febfem-mean)

I hope that helps! (if not, please shoot me another ask!)

We at FabFem would like for you to get to know us better! Each month, we’re going to feature one of our fabulously feminist staff members.

This month, we’d like you to meet Elizabeth Gallien - graduate student, FabFem contributor, and overall badass.