Having ASPD is wild because you can go through so much of life thinking your performance of "empathy" is the same thing as everyone else's empathy. Your false reassurances of understanding is you showing your empathy. Isn't that what everyone else does, too? Even if they don't understand, they still say it. It doesn't matter that you almost never understand. It's still the same. You couldn't possibly have ASPD because you do feel empathy. Just ask everyone who thinks you're such a good listener, that you really get their problems, that you know how they feel.
"You have severe problems with empathy."
One comment brings that whole facade to the ground. Shatters the illusion you had of yourself. That you're such an empathetic individual, that your driving trait is being able to put yourself in others' shoes, that you understand folks' woes more than anyone else.
And you have to look at yourself and really think.
How long have I been living a performance?