#f!shepley

 Shewasn’t the only one ill at ease. Taliwas getting restless – she paced down the small room, the only oneof them short enough to do so without having to stoop.Ashley was jealous of this; evenshe had to stoop to get into the Mako,and didn’t know how Garrus or Wrex ever managed to fold themselvesinto the relatively small seats. It had barely been built for humans,let alone aliens. Only Tali fit well, but she was closer to humanthan any of the other aliens. Sometimes, she could almostforget Tali was an alien, so human were her expressions, heremotions; quarians exhibited similar body language to humans, and ithad made her remarkably easier to read.

Shehad little trouble reading her now. Tali’s hands were as tense as herown, held tightly at her sides. She was muttering in a language thatsounded like her grandmother’s when she dropped a spoon and Rex hadrun off with it; she suspected Tali, like Abuela Carmen, had a ratherprofane streak when pressured.   “Sitdown, Tali,” Shepard murmured; she had an edge in her voice, forthe first time. Tali stopped, hands on her hips. It was obvious shewas going to say something, but then she didn’t, sitting down next toAsh. Shepard flicked abutton.“Thisis Port HanshanMako #2034,” Sheparddroned. “We’ve broken downon the trail to Peak 15, this is Spectre Shepard, I have twoassociates with me. We needan evac ASAP.” Shepardpressed a hand to her ear, alternating, asshe had been doing, her request for evac from Port Hanshanwith her request for the Normandy.   “Joker?”She said. Ash could not hear what response Shepard was getting, but suspected itwas nothing. Tali tapped her foot next to her, and Ash closed hereyes, not wanting to stare at Shepard. Shehad seen Shepard’s eyes moving towardher, had wondered what itmeant; now it did not seem to matter at all. Shefelt tired, but tried to fight it, tried to focus on Tali’s foot.Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-ta-“Tali,please,” Shepard said. “I’m trying to hear.” Talistopped and stood. She looked down at Ash for just a second, herglowing eyes squinting, and Ash blinked back, unable to look away. “I’mgoing to look at the engines,” Tali said, a bit crisply, beforeturning and stalking toward the door. “Tali– “Ash said, feeling a bit guilty. The girl’s nervousness wasunderstandable – “It’sfine,” Tali said, her eyes softening toward her. “It’s not thefirst time that quarians have had to camp out in an inhospitablesystem. We’re used to repairing in worse conditions than this. I’lltry to get the engines back online.” “Thirtyminutes,” Shepard barked. “If you can’t get it working then -”Talinodded and saluted; the saluting was something new, something Ashwondered if she had picked up from Kaiden or herself. “Yes. Let meknow if anything comes through the wire.” Andwith that, Tali was gone. Silence reigned in the Mako, the only noisethe sound of Tali flipping open the engine in the front. Ash wanted tojoin her, but she’d never been good with vehicles; she’d alwaysmaintained artillery. And she doubted her armor would last as long as Tali’s in the elements.“Williams,”Shepard said, her voice a low and dark presence; not cold but warm,intensely warm – burning. Tiger Tiger Burning Bright,Ash thought, then stopped. Poetry could not help her here, but she could not stop the dark blush that spilled across her cheeks.Shepardturned around in the driver’s seat. Ash saluted, then kept her eyes low, looking more at Shepard’s feet thanher face. She still wasn’t quite comfortable with the feelings Shepard evoked inher, and now she had no more time to work through them. Did the blush betray her? Perhaps Shepard thought she was ashamed. Shesaw those long, black boots shiftas Shepard stood. Shepard walked toward her, her hips swinging confidently. She took a seat next to Ash. Ashley tried hard not to breathe in too deeply, willed herself to remain calm. Fraternizationwasn’t allowed, even if it felt inevitable that they were going tostarve to death. Or freeze.She wasn’t sure which she’d prefer, yet. “Doyou think I was too hard on her?” Shepard said; one of herhand dropped to Ashley’s own, and Ashley’s fingers curled reflexively againstShepard’s.   Outside,Tali sparked the engine, and Ash felt both their hearts leap intandem – then it died again, seconds later. Shepard squeezed her hand tighterand Ash didn’t ask her what she meant by it.   “Youdo what you have to do in these situations, ma'am.” Ash squeezed her hand in response, skirting forbidden territory. Shepard didn’t drop her hand. “Panicdoesn’t help anyone.”“No.”Shepard sounded relieved, atleast almost. “I should getback to hailing. We can’t give up. We’ve – we’ve gotten so far…”   “Iknow.” Ashley should have separated their hands, should have allowed Shepard to leave, but instead she held tight to Shepard’s hand. She was warm,in spite of the cold blanket falling around them. “Noregrets, Commander Shepard. No matter if this is as far as we go.Being with you, striking down flashlight heads with my boomstick… Iwouldn’t trade that for anything.” “Ash…Callme Jane,” Shepard said, her voice soft as rain but the meaning ofher words striking like lightning on Ash’s nerves. The Commander had never given her permission to use herfirst name; such things were a bit too close. Shelicked her lips, her mouth suddenly dry at the thought of the name. It might as well have been forbidden territory. Williams had always been Alliance blue and true, honor therules, don’t break the code – but then again, what had that gottenthem besides near-universal scorn and an early grave? And with Tali outside, the engine still dead – what did shehave to lose? “Jane,”she said. The name was foreign but sweet on her tongue, and she said it again: “Jane.”“Ash…”Shepard chuckled, her voice honeyed in a way that sent ripples down Ash’sspine. “Perhaps it’s forward of me, but – “She knew what was going to happen seconds before it did, the thoughtShe’s going to kiss me stillechoing through her head even as Shepard’s lipsclaimed her own. It was not a chaste kiss but a heavy one, the sort thatpushed Ash forwards, scrambling desperately, her hands moving in Shepard’s hair. She heard the clang of metal on metal as Shepard’s breastplate hit her own andknew Tali probably could hear them but for once, she didn’t care; they weregoing to die, here on a cold and alien rock, and all that she had tocomfort herself with was the fire-red soldier kissing her feverishly,her red hair tumblingsuddenly down her shoulders, and Ash was only dimly aware that sheds donethat, broken another regulation, but it didn’t matter because allshe wanted was more, allshe wanted  was for Shepard to touch her – the Commander’s hand stilled against the clasp of her breast plate, and Ash murmured yesoh yes in a low voice, the thrumin her blood almost deafing her to all outward noise, all noiseexcept the sound of those fingers moving across that clasp, notclumsily but skillful – Aroaring sound diverted them both, and she saw Shepard’s beautifulfire-red hair whip around as the engine sprung to life, the chokednoise instantly spinning out into a roaring thrum. She looked back ather, and Ash saw the regret that crossed her face instantly, but itdidn’t stop Shepard from pulling away. Ash swallowed, redid the clasp onher armor. She ached, but duty came first, and she numbly gave Shepard her hair tie back, then went to redo her  own. 

She had barely swept it back up into the familiar bun when Tali burst backinto the Mako, her eyes glowing in triumph. Ash tried to be happy forher, for them all. She nodded and smiled. 

“Goodjob,” Shepard said, clasping Tali’s shoulder. “Let’s get going.”Ash stood, though her legs felt like jelly, and unsteadily walked towardShepard and Tali. “Which way do we go?” She asked, thoughshe’s not sure which situation she was referring to.