#mass effect 2

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSV2HcbmE/

“The Domineering CEO Falls for Commander Shepard”

Chapter 1: I Died Two Years Ago, So Why Did I Wake Up in His Laboratory?

Chapter 2: The Mysterious Billionaire Who Spent a Fortune Bringing Me Back to Life

Chapter 3: He Said, “Don’t Change a Thing About Her.”

Chapter 4: I Told Him I Would Never Work for Him. He Smiled.

Chapter 5: Wait—How Does He Know I Like the Normandy?

Chapter 6: His Extravagant Gift Was a Fucking Four-Deck Warship Named and Built After My Normandy

Chapter 7: Why Is My Old Pilot Here Too?!

Chapter 8: The CEO Sent Me Another Email Today

Chapter 9: Miranda Lawson: I Was Supposed to Be the Project Director, Not His Fucking Wingwoman

Chapter 10: He Says It’s “Strategic Resource Allocation,” but Everyone Else Calls It a Dowry

Bonus Chapter: He Never Said “I Love You”—He Just Spent Several Billion Credits and Built Me a Normandy

Everyone else:

JUST CONFESS ALREADY

Illusive Man：🚬

I believe my allocation of capital has made my position sufficiently clear.

Shepard:

Shepard dies.

Normal person: That's tragic.

The Illusive Man: No.

Miranda: No... what?

The Illusive Man: Fix it.

Miranda: They're dead.

The Illusive Man: I have money.

And then this man proceeds to fund a TWO-YEAR PROJECT to reconstruct one (1) Commander Shepard from what is essentially a catastrophically damaged corpse.

And here's the part that gets me:

Miranda apparently suggests putting in a control chip.

The Illusive Man says no.

Don't change their personality. Don't alter their judgment. Don't make them more loyal to Cerberus. Bring Shepard back exactly as Shepard.

Which means this man knowingly spends an obscene amount of money resurrecting someone who:

has destroyed Cerberus facilities before

distrusts Cerberus

does not take orders particularly well

may wake up and immediately tell him to fuck off

And apparently that's fine.

Shepard wakes up:

“I don't trust Cerberus.”

The Illusive Man, internally:

oh thank god the characterization is intact

Lazarus Project acceptance criteria:

Alive: ✅ Memories intact: ✅ Combat capability: ✅ Independent judgment: ✅ Still thinks Cerberus is full of shit: ✅

PROJECT SUCCESSFUL

And the more I think about this, the worse it gets.

Cerberus recovered Shepard after they had been spaced, suffocated, fallen from orbit, and suffered catastrophic physical damage.

They were not working from “slightly injured Shepard.”

They were working from what was essentially:

HIGH-VELOCITY POST-MORTEM SHEPARD PUZZLE.

And somehow, two years later:

✨ Shepard. ✨

Correct face. Correct body. Correct voice. Correct memories. Correct personality. Correct amount of contempt for Cerberus.

Meanwhile the official merch team has access to:

the actual 3D model

concept art

promotional renders

approximately fifteen years of visual references

and will still occasionally produce a Shepard statue that makes me go:

who is this woman

The Illusive Man reconstructed her from a catastrophically damaged corpse.

You have the fucking 3D model. What's your excuse.

At this point BioWare should just send every future Shepard statue prototype to the Illusive Man for approval.

“Jawline's wrong.”

Returned.

“Eyes.”

Returned.

Seventeenth prototype:

🚬 “Acceptable.”

Mass Effect fandom (maybe):

FINALLY.

This isn't normal stan behavior anymore. This is a man with enough money to look at canon, see that his fave died, and personally fund the highest-budget fix-it fic in galactic history.

Death is negotiable.

OOC is not.

Chapters: 25/26 Fandom: Mass Effect Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian Characters: Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Garrus Vakarian Series: Part 4 of Jane Shepard Summary:

A collection of ficlets and prompts (in no chronological order) focused on Garrus Vakarian and Commander Jane Shepard. Rated E for smut in -21-.

Excerpt:

-25-

Her hands itched to break something.

Shepard rarely had fits of anger where she wanted to destroy everything in sight. But on the way back to the shuttle, she couldn’t help seeing every monitor, every test tube, every piece of equipment tainted with the stain of that fucking project as perfect for target practice.

Horrifying. Enraging. Those words wouldn’t even begin to describe what she felt upon seeing David Archer hooked up to those machines. Or Gavin Archer’s defense of it being for the greater good. But nothing excused forcing your own brother into an experiment against his will.

He should have protected his brother. Her dad, a sickly man in his later years, refused to cower when the batarians hit. He stood between her and her mom and the batarians who stormed in. And her mom, her gentle mom who hated violence of any kind, threw herself at one of the slavers, tackling him to the ground to give Shepard time to escape.

Go fourth and nominate any pairings you want to see. No solid date for the sign ups, but it will be in September some time.

It's not all about smut, it's all about fluff and romance and all the things you love about your favourite characters and their loved one/s.

Have a read of last year's sign ups, some fantastic stuff!

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Spectre_Seductions_2025

If you feel inclined, do feel free to join the Archive Creators discord although it is not necessary to sign up!