#extreme cheapskates

“I brought this detergent on sale, and I use it on my clothes, the bathroom, the toilet. I’ll clean anything with it, as long as it’s safe. Everything smells like linen, and it’s a champ degreaser.”

“Then over in my kitchen I bought this meat and some rice and veggies, and some snackies, all on sale. I budgeted, measured, and calculated with the tax to figure out my gross spend. If I portion my meals, get creative, I can make some terrible concoctions for myself. It’s not super great, but it’s nourishing. If I pinch a dollar for some spices and salt, that’s a treat. It’s okay because I’m eating it, and it satisfies my calorie intact to the ratio of energy I expend, also, I’m not giving this to someone else. I didn’t harass the cashier cause I can math.”

but then reality telly gets this bitch ass fuck whore:

“I have a great job that pays well, but I hate to spend money. I cut corners. Here, I go to this store with great sales, then I look poor and pathetic and when I take stuff to the cashier I pity the shit out of them to give me more discounts on the items I’ve looked at. I love free stuff. I like to bum free stuff off of people, because spending is dumb, and a conspiracy created by big pharma.”

“Then if you’ll come with me to the bathroom, I’m using my best mates hairdryer to make pasta. Saves on the bill, and gets food relatively hot without wasting too much energy. Also, we have candles EVERYWHERE - lightbulbs are overrated and expensive if you add them up. They always go out, so that was a scam. Here’s this seashell I got off the beach, I make my flatemates use it to bathe. We don’t spend money on soap or deodorant, nobody got time for that. We also use this sponge to wipe off with, it’s a communal sponge. We share EVERYTHING.”

Like this guy, Buzz Wingman, ↓

would show up on some MH students' TVs when they check TLC because they're bored or something