#extasiswings

fire on fire • 6.7k

"You’re sleeping with him.” “I’m not—” Eddie rolls his eyes and corrects himself halfway through. “I’m not sleeping with him like that, okay?” Sophia looks at him for a long moment as her gaze turns from teasing to thoughtful. “But you want to be. Right?” [Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.]

With A Little Help From My Friends • 2.9k

“You know…several of us parents get together once, maybe twice a month or so. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. I can add you to the email chain.” Not for the first time that day, Eddie’s surprised. It’s not that he’s opposed, more that the invitation is unexpected. He’s not particularly social—when he is it’s with the team or with Buck or with his family, all of them in each other’s houses, in each other’s lives both at work and away from it. Outside of them… It occurs to him that he’s never really known how to make friends. [Or: Eddie makes friends outside of work and realizes that Buck might not, in fact, be just a friend]

unfold me (tell me you love me) • 2.4k

Eddie follows the sound of running water to the kitchen. He stops in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and spends a moment just watching Buck scrub potatoes in the sink until the other man glances up and notices him. “Hey,” Buck greets. “Chris is reading in his room, I’m just working on dinner. How was the date?” God, I love you, Eddie thinks, and nearly has to bite his tongue to keep it to himself. [Or: Eddie goes on a date and has some realizations about what he really wants.]

for all the perfect things I doubt • 5.2k

Evan Buckley is really good in bed. Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t.

dream of some epiphany • 7.4k

Evan Buckley is lost. It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door. Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name. Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

of men and of angels • 13.5k

For now we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known. - 1 Corinthians 13:12 Eddie Diaz learns a lot as a kid. Boys aren’t soft. Boys don’t cry. Boys don’t kiss boys. As he gets older, he realizes that everything has exceptions. Boys can be soft sometimes. Boys can cry sometimes. And some boys kiss other boys. But Eddie likes kissing girls. And since he likes kissing girls, that’s the end of the story. Isn’t it? [Or: the one with all the repression]

translate the magic (show me) • 8.1k

“I think I might be bad in bed.” Eddie rolls that thought around in his head, trying to decide the best way to respond, weighing the options of what Buck needs to hear versus how to say it. It’s not a conversation he wants to be having, is part of the problem. Thinking about Buck desperately seeking connection through fleeting sexual encounters with strangers already makes him swallow back a wave of petty jealousy and possessiveness. But there’s an added level of insult to injury to the idea that Buck wasn’t even having good sex. Which maybe explains why despite his initial commitment to delicacy and tact, what comes out of Eddie’s mouth is— “You probably were. Bad at it.” Buck’s eyes widen, a strangled noise sounding from his throat. “Don’t pull any punches,” he shoots back as he hunches in the chair and drains the last dregs of his beer. “I didn’t mean it like that.” [Or: the one where Buck has a crisis and Eddie teaches him what good sex really is]

paint me a heaven with your bloodied mouth • 3.3k

Buck. Four letters. One syllable. Eddie knows it’s a nickname. He doesn’t know why Buck picked it or why Buck seems to use it exclusively, but he figures it isn’t really his business. And also that it probably isn’t that deep—all of them use nicknames at work or otherwise in their daily lives. Eddie himself might find it weird if anyone outside of his immediate family suddenly started using his full name regularly after so many years of only rarely hearing it from anyone else. So. Eddie calls Buck Buck. And he doesn’t think anything of it. At least…not at first.

all my atoms • 3.9k

Every atom of me and every atom of you...we'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pin trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams...and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two. There are three things every child learns about daemons: Don’t ask questions or talk about another person’s daemon—it’s rude. Don’t put too much distance between yourself and your daemon—it’ll hurt. Under no circumstances should you ever touch someone else’s daemon. Simple. Straightforward. Easy to remember, easier to follow. That’s what Eddie thinks of the rules.

half agony, half hope • 4.4k

“My brother does look well tonight, doesn’t he?” Adriana asks, changing the subject as they turn. Her eyes spark with mischief when Buck hums idly in agreement. “Strange that bruise on his neck, though. I can’t imagine how he could have gotten such a thing.” “Perhaps his fencing partner got a bit overzealous,” he offers, despite knowing that won’t be good enough for her to drop it. [Or, after four seasons, the ton remains baffled that no engagement appears forthcoming between Viscount Buckley and the youngest sister of the Duke of Cederhall. But perhaps they should be paying more attention to the viscount and the duke himself...]

safety and home • 3.1k

The thing Eddie remembers most about the shooting isn’t the shot itself, or the pain, or even the fear—it’s the cold. He’s been through enough in his life to know that his subconscious works in weird ways. After Afghanistan he dreamed more directly of burning helicopters and gunfire, blood in his mouth and smoke on his tongue. Shadows and screams and guilt. After the well his dreams were of Christopher, Shannon, waves crashing on a beach. And Buck. Sunlight. This time...this time Eddie dreams of drowning. [For the prompt: "I'll keep you warm."]

light the dynamite • 1.6k

Buck shivers as he thinks back to earlier in the day, at the way Eddie snapped his name like a whip across the radio when he did exactly what Eddie and Bobby both had told him not to do. At the frosty glad to hear it, Firefighter Buckley, when Buck called dispatch back to tell Eddie he was fine if a little bruised. At the way Eddie had called him at the end of the shift, voice low and quiet and commanding, hooking deep beneath Buck’s skin and stealing the breath from his lungs until all he could manage was a rasping acknowledgment before hanging up. It could be seconds, or minutes, or an hour more, but finally the bedroom door clicks open and— “So you do know how to follow instructions,” Eddie says, the edge in his voice not quite sharp enough to cut but a warning nonetheless. “I was wondering.”

show your cards • 2.7k

“What was this tonight?” Buck rasps, his voice rough as sandpaper to his own ears. Eddie’s lips quirk as his eyes flick to somewhere just to the left of Buck’s ear like he can’t respond if he’s looking at Buck outright. “It was dinner, Buck,” he says. “Dinner and a poker game.” And Buck could leave it there. Honestly, he probably should leave it there, leave it alone, let it drop despite the fact that he can practically taste the lie in the air. But he’s too warm and his pulse is so fast that he’s dizzy with it and Eddie is so close that Buck can’t breathe so he can’t help himself— “Eddie.” His voice cracks. Eddie looks back at him, meets his gaze. Slowly, with more than enough time for Buck to move or to stop him, Eddie brings a hand up to curl around Buck’s shoulder, his thumb brushing Buck’s neck in a way that lights up every inch of his skin. “Tonight was whatever you want it to be,” Eddie corrects finally. “No more, no less.”

you make my heart beat • 1.9k

Eddie Diaz knows two things: 1) he's a great nurse; and 2) he does not fall for patients. After spending five months with Evan Buckley...well. Maybe that second one is a little more of an open question.

graveyard whistling (and why things hurt) • 3.2k

“Eddie?” Buck’s hand touches his shoulder and Eddie inhales sharply and comes back to himself. His eyes flick back to the phone—the screen now dimmed and black—then settle on the counter next to it as he swallows hard. “You okay?” Buck asks quietly. “She died today,” Eddie replies. “And I forgot. I forgot that it was today.”

only human, nothing more • 1.9k

It’s stupid maybe, but it feels a little like something happens in that chair. They cut away the softness and leave behind sharp regulation edges and it doesn’t stop Eddie from being afraid, but it...helps. Helps him pretend. Helps him fall into the role of someone who is responsible, someone who knows what they’re doing, someone who— Someone who is in control. (Stupid, maybe. Stupid, definitely, is what he settles on years later when he’s back from war, trapped in his own head and drowning on dry land, because regulation edges make him flinch when he looks in the mirror and he knows no haircut in the world is going to help him fake his way back to normalcy. So he just lets it grow again. It doesn’t matter anyway.) [Or: Eddie introspection through the seasons as explored through haircuts]

It’s 5.5 x 8.5 in. and 319 pages.

Of course, no money is being made off of this collection. Here's the evidence of that: