I have a theory based loosely on experience: as a kid, you see parents' -in this case, let's talk about other parents, not your own- choices as individual, like they were deciding in the moment which option to impose or express. To use an example based on a childhood friend: the parent decides the child can't eat candy. The first time I heard that I was like "oh, so she can't eat candy today, or... Ever?", until eventually, those parents became The Parents who Don't Let Their Daughter Have Candy.
Years later, as a teenager, it suddenly clicked: my friends were the way they were because of their "types" of parents, at least heavily influenced. So then, the strict parent became sort of a backstory in my mind, rather than people who made a series of individual choices in parenting.
Now, nearly an adult, it's sort of clicked back in reverse (it's not a revolutionary take), that parents, like everyone, are people making decisions every single time they do anything, just like me. And ofc, once u get into the habit of allowing/prohibiting something, it requires less and less thought to decide, but it's a small decision nonetheless.
This, I want to keep in mind. I want to try and think of people without basing the idea I have of them in mind on the very idea I have of them in my mind, the reputation I've labeled them with. Instead, if I really focus on the present moment, maybe I can face life without conecting people's actions to their past... Well... That may not be necessary actually hahahah. I certainly don't mean it in terms of forgiving and forgetting, like if someone has screwed me over repeatedly, they won't be the person I try this out with, I'm gonna take care of myself yk? But yeah... I guess it's a matter of allowing people to change, and adapting my mind to that change, bc life truly is endlessly changing (and simultaneously we're all staying on earth the entire time. Everything that's on earth ofc, ik there's life outside of us, not even aliens I mean aren't planets life, sorta?).
