May 27, 2025
1/3rd of the way through my stressful Tuesday, everyone pls send good vibes that I survive the day without a panic attack π
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1/3rd of the way through my stressful Tuesday, everyone pls send good vibes that I survive the day without a panic attack π
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My dog, Molly, does this thing at night when we go to bed where she gives me a "hug" by burying her little face into my beard and under my chin and tries to burrow in every once in a while. Its comforting. She's all I have.
I feel so...alone.
I've been in such a fog for the past year now, and it feels like it finally started to lift a little bit and I'm just left with me..
I'm trying to work on myself. Its so hard. Everything is hard. Every day is hard. I was whole before, complete, safe, together...and then all at once I wasn't. I was cut down, thrown away. Cheated on. I never had a chance. And now I'm just me.
Everything feels finite. Uncertain. Clouded.
Currently laughing so hard because my mess of an ex still hasnβt learned how to use words and instead blocked me I am living πππ
Got confirmation from my mom about something I'd suspected. My ex WAS planning on trying to get us-Crew involuntarily committed.
On the one hand, that's absolutely terrifying, my worst nightmare come true.
And on the other hand, there's a part of me that regrets not staying and seeing how that might have played out. Wanna insist I'm crazy despite so many experts saying I'm not? I'd like to see you just TRY. π‘
Being in a group that discusses abuse from men and seeing the similarities between all the messages has really shown me how /fucked. up./ he was. Like....I read what these men are saying to them and it's so cruel. Except that he said the exact things to me, and I....blamed myself??? What the fuck?? Yikes.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A month and change with no desire to emotionally self harm by contacting my ex this is good progress.
Oh y'know, just having a mental breakdown. The usual.
How's your Sunday?